


Guys My Age

by hydratedbarnes



Series: Family Friend [2]
Category: Marvel
Genre: Against the World Trope, Age Difference, Breeding Kink, Daddy Issues, Daddy Kink, Dads Bestfriend, Dirty Talk, F/M, Fingering, Heavy Age Gap, Older Man/Younger Woman, Slow Romance, Unplanned Pregnancy, Unprotected Sex, abortions, very heavy smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:49:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 98,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25743856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hydratedbarnes/pseuds/hydratedbarnes
Summary: when four years has passed since your affair with your dad's bestfriend, you find yourself back in the same situation. only this time, you're not going to let him break your heart so easily. but when you return back to his arms, the love is rekindled and the two of you have to work through the ups and downs in your relationship.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Rebecca Barnes, Sam Wilson/Reader
Series: Family Friend [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1952260
Comments: 32
Kudos: 67





	1. Chapter 1

The forked scratched against the porcelain of the plate, his sausage rolling off to the side and Rebecca stares at his brother. “Stop playing with your food.” She reprimands him.

He doesn’t even realize that he was playing with his good until now. He mutters an apology and sits in the uncomfortable silence that lives in their home now.

Even after nearly three weeks since the breakup, Rebecca can sense the change in her brother. He’s different. He lacks the personality he had before. Now, he’s just seems to sag around in his sadness. Following the same goddamn routine everyday. In which he leaves for work, in silence. Comes home for work, in silence. Makes food, in silence. Watches TV, in silence.

Rebecca hates how quiet the house has gotten but she respects the pain that her brother is going through. The only thing is, she’s unsure how to break the news that his former lover is moving away. So she sits there for a minute or two, or three, which eventually turns into ten, thinking of how to bring the situation up.

But she just goes for it. “I heard from Mrs. Y/l/n that she’s moving out.” His head pops up, blue stormy eyes glossy as they well up with tears. Rebecca nods and continues. “She’s moving into the city with a roommate. She bought their apartment last friday and —”

“Okay, that’s enough.” Bucky’s voice rumbles through the thick air, cutting off his sister. He wipes his wet face and excuses himself from the table.

“Bucky, we’re going to have to talk about this soon.”

“No, we’re not.”

He hears her sigh, he feels bad because he should taking care of his sister like his Ma said to before she died. But now it’s the opposite way. He shouldn’t be this childish, after all he’s the grown man in this situation. Though, the news of you moving pushes the knife deeper into his heart and he honestly doesn’t know what to do anymore.

This time there are no distractions. No Natasha. Just him and he’s losing his mind.

“Well, you can’t keep living this Bucky. Do something exciting. Go out with Uncle Sam or Uncle Steve.”

A sigh escapes him, he’s thinking of going out, he does. He wants to see his friend again, after all of this time. But his friends know him better than he does and they’re going to push his buttons.

“Bucky, please. It’s not healthy to be stuck here all day.”

He gives in, he’ll try. He’ll try to move on like the way you’re moving on, figuratively and literally. So he looks at his sister with hopeful eyes and a sly smile curves on Rebecca’s face. “I’ll try.” He doesn’t promise anything, given his history with promises but he will try, for his sister. “Okay, hurry up and finish your food. You’re going to be late.”

* * *

Bucky goes out that night with Sam. Steve’s busy and they don’t bother pushing it.

Sitting by the bar, they share a whole bottle of neat tequila. Sam is smiling as he looks over Bucky’s shoulder at a girl, a blonde who’s smiling and winking back at him. “And — Who are you fucking looking at, Wilson?” Bucky growls and he turns around to see the woman Sam has been eye fucking the whole time he was talking.

“You know, you should start meeting someone.” Bucky rolls his eyes at his friend. “What? It’s just a suggestion. You haven’t been with anyone since your divorce with Natasha.”

“I **_was_** with someone.” Sam’s eyes bulges out of his head. “It didn’t last long.” He says it so casually and Sam is ecstatic but disappointed.

“Dude, who was it?”

“Doesn’t matter. We’re over.” Bucky waves off the topic because the wound is still fresh and he doesn’t want to venture off into talking about you.

“Dude, no really. Was she hot?” Sam raises his eyebrows in an effort to lift up his mood.

Bucky just rolls his eyes and takes another sip of his drink. His eyes following the man who exits the door and then the long legged woman who enters, her feet encased in red heels and thighs and hips wrapped in a red dress. Her pale skin catching his attention and Sam notices. “What?” He turns around and his mouth drops at the view.

A red headed woman with curls falling to her shoulders walk in the bar, red lips bold and catching the attention of the men around her. Bucky and Sam watches as she walks past them, wandering into the far right corner of the bar where a booth sits hidden from the view of the people. “Holy shit.” Sam mutters out. “What the hell is Wanda doing here?”

Bucky’s eyes doesn’t leave the woman’s figure, he watches as she smiles at someone in the booth. She doesn’t sit though, although, she looked like she was before the person stood up. What he sees makes his heart drop.

He sees you, kissing the red headed woman on her lips; a smile curved on your face. The woman, or who Sam called, Wanda, finally sits down with you.

Bucky quickly turns to Sam, his heart leaping out of his chest. How could you move on so fast, he thinks. It’s breaks his heart but he knows he deserves it.

“Who’s Wanda?”

“She’s from Stark’s firm, I see her around. She’s quite, never says anything unless she’s being talked to.” He looks over Bucky’s shoulder to get a glimpse but Sam sees you instead. “Wait, is that Y/f/n’s daughter?”

Bucky nods, silently as he sips his drink to drown the pain in his chest. “The hell she doing here? Isn’t she like 12?”

“She’s 19.” He corrects his friend.

“Whatever, but she’s not allowed to be in here yet.” Sam questions and it hits him how you got in. “Ah, wait, nevermind. She probably used a fake ID.”

“Dumbass.”

Bucky watches as Sam gets up from his seat, confused he watches as Sam walks towards your table. His eyes widen at his actions and he knows what his friend is doing. He turns around, subtly turned into your direction to listen in what Sam is doing.

“Hey, Wan.” Sam greets, a smile on his face and a drink in his hand.

Wanda looks up to see her colleague staring down at her, her smile fading as she wonders why they’re being bothered now. “Oh, hi Sam.” She simply greets him back, hoping her lack of enthusiasm sends him a message.

“Say, whatcha doing here? Girls night?” He irks a question.

Wanda looks back you, a sly smirk curved on both of your faces. Sam raises his eyebrows at the two of you, waiting for an answer. Wanda turns back to the dark skinned man, a smile on her face. “No, I’m on a date.” Sam nods, looking around.

“I suppose you’re still waiting for him?” Wanda’s facade falls and she eyes her colleague.

“No, _**she**_ is right here.” She turns to you and the look on Sam’s face falls, his mouth forming an o-shape as realization hits him.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I thought - Right.”

Wanda forces a tight lipped smile. “Yeah, I guess you didn’t know.” There’s an awkward silence that sits between the three of you. It’s only then that Wanda breaks it. “Well, I gusss you should get going. After all, I’m here with **_my_** date.”

Sam nods. “Right. Well, I hope to see the two of you girls later. Bucky and I are just over there. Say hi to your dad for me, Y/n.” You look up at Sam when he mentions _his_ name, you look over him and catch Bucky’s eye looking back at you.

“Bucky’s here?” Your question grabs Sam back to your table, he nods, turning to point at Bucky who was shamelessly watching you. Only for him to turn when the spotlight is turned to him.

“Okay…” He drags. “I should get going. Bye.”

Sam walks back to his seat, pouring himself another glass as he shakes his head. “What?” Bucky asks and Sam laughs at himself. “Man, what the fuck happened there?”

“Those two are on a fucking date. Knew that Wanda was too pretty to be straight. I didn’t know Y/n wasn’t though.” Bucky already figured it out when Wanda had kissed you. He knew that you were definitely not straight. You had come out to your parents when you were 15, they accepted it and it didn’t change the fact that they loved you. But that’s not what bothers him. It bothers him how fast you’ve moved on.

“Seems a little bit weird though. She’s 19 and she’s in her mid twenties.”

Bucky swirls his drink, the leftover scotch that he doesn’t have the appetite to finish. “I mean, if she treats her right, what’s a little age difference?”

Sam nods. “I guess.” He thinks for a moment before standing up again. “I’ll be right back.”

* * *

A loud thud echos in the bathroom, your body pressed up against the tile wall and you feel the coldness contrast against the warmth of your body. Bucky’s lips radiating with passion, something you haven’t felt in a while. You shouldn’t have stayed here. You should’ve told Wanda to leave and go to another bar but instead you stayed and you knew exactly why.

“I missed this. I’ve missed you.” He mumbles against pressed lips.

“I know.” You say, arms wrapped his neck as he brings your legs around his waist.

This is a mistake. He’s a mistake. You shouldn’t be doing this. You shouldn’t. And you know you’re fighting against it by the way you fail to meet his tongue. So you end it before you regret anything.

“Bucky,” it’s a moan as he slips a hand under your shirt, making it even difficult to say no to him. “Bucky, baby, please.”

He pulls back, his hand, although, still under the fabric. “Please what?”

“We can’t do this anymore.” You whisper to him, hands tangled in the roots of his soft brown hair, softly pulling.

He looks back at you, hands stopping their actions and he puts you down. He respects you and he follows your decisions. Although, he can’t help but miss you. “I know.” He says, sadly as he looks down at his shoes.

A warm hand presses against his cheek, a thumb rubbing along the skin sprouting with stubble. “I’m sorry, Bucky.”

“It’s okay. I fucked up.”

You frown at his words, not wanting to relieve the thoughts again. You love him, you really do. You want to give him everything and anything but you just can’t get yourself to trust him anymore. Even if it’s just the sex. “I know you’re moving.” He announces and you nod.

“I am.”

You press your forehead against him, looking him in the eye as you feel his hand connect with yours. “Am I going to see you again?”

You shake your head. “No, not for a while.”

“Oh.”

A sigh leaves your lips as your forced to let go of his hand. “I’m sorry, I should go. Wanda is going to start looking for me.”

Bucky nods, stepping away from you in order to give you space. “It’s okay.”

You fill that space again when you lean in to kiss him on the cheek, a sad smile on your lips as you pull back. He reciprocates. “Bye, Y/n. Have fun.”

“I will.”

And Bucky watches you walk out, again for the second time. He wonders when he’ll be able to see you again. To touch you again. Perhaps, time will come and if it’s love, the two of you will come back again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which four years later, you’ve graduated and you have to come back for your own family’s sake, everything is great except that he’s there.

You’ve heard it. The call of your name and the unnecessary loud clapping from your parents as you walked down the stairs, diploma in hand. A smile on your face as you hold your degree.

After nearly five years of school, it has come to this.

The finale graduation song plays as graduation caps fly into the air, celebrating people’s freedom and next chapter in life.

You had done it and it was time for you to start life. To start a career and be successful, find financial stability and find that special person to spend the rest of your life with.

So you had found yourself in the arms of your parents, kissing you all over in order to show you how proud they were of their daughter. Now, you understood that your parents are probably going to want to celebrate. So you let them.

You let them throw a small part consisting of close family and friends. You weren’t going to complain, after all, you haven’t seen old friends in nearly five years.

Initially, you were suppose to go out with Kate and America to celebrate but seeing that the party was a promise you couldn’t back out of now. You’d just promise another date for the girls.

Coming home wouldn’t be a surprise. You’d come back occasionally for birthdays with your parents, but you’ve never done anything else from there. Too busy in school work and your internship, you hadn’t realized how much you’ve missed.

You’ve missed Bucky, but that feeling was deep down and even despite that, you’ve found yourself on multiple occasions nearing to press his contact to the point where you’ve forced yourself to get a new phone.

Wanda has been a nice distraction, as much as you hate to admit it. She’s been kind to you. Very. Took you out on dates, she’s kissed you, made love to you, and although despite that, you weren’t sure that you were ready to be in another relationship. You’ve explained that to the red-head. She was very understanding and agreed as well on the topic.

With the both of you in the same page with what you want, you agreed to remain friends, something the two of you can nod at.

Hopefully all that distraction helped you forget about who was coming to your party.

* * *

Your home was decorated in simple gold and silver decor, food was placed on the table for guests. Your dad had greeted guests as they came in and you had stayed by his side, letting them congratulate you on their way in.

Your Uncle Sam was there with his daughter, little Raven with her dolly that her mommy gave her. She was so cute, her little four year old hands holding on tightly to her doll as she waved at you. You had been allowed to pick her up, your Uncle Sam smiling at you with his daughter.

Sam had seen you last with Wanda in the bar, he hasn’t told your dad about it and you’re grateful. The news of his underaged daughter drinking with an older woman wouldn’t lead to sweet punishment.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of this little one.” You smile at Raven, tickling her little tummy and she let out the cutest laugh. The two of you ended up in the kitchens, hoarding the secret box of cookies you knew you always kept in the cupboard.

“Daddy says I have to eat first.” She babbles and you hand her a cookie.

“It’s okay. Just one and plus, it’ll be our secret.” You press a finger to your lips as you pretend a hush. Sitting beside the four year old on top the marbled counter, the two of you share the box of cookies eating and you hadn’t realized who had entered your home.

“What’ll be our little secret?”

* * *

Bucky knew what he was getting himself into when your dad had invited him over. It was for your graduation party, you were officially done with school and you were returning. He didn’t know how he was going to spend an entire night with you around. He couldn’t even get himself to get over you for years, every woman he slept with reminded him of you. Hell, he even texted you on a couple drunken nights. In which, none you had responded.

So how on earth was he going to spend the night with your presence around?

“Bucky? You coming?” Rebecca’s voice is muffled by the door. Bucky looks at himself in the mirror, his face and some of his brown locks wet by the water. Using a towel, he wipes his face and opens the door to see his sister standing behind it.

“Are you ready?” She asks again.

He nods and walks past her, grabbing his sweater from his drawer and he puts it on. His sister watches him, sadly, because she knows. “Are you sure you wanna go? I can always tell Mr. Y/f/n that you’re not feeling well.”

Bucky shakes his head, cutting off his sister. He rakes his fingers through his brown curls, softly pulling at the roots. He looks at himself at the mirror, his days old stubble sprouting from his cheek. He spots his sister in the corner of his eye, smiling at him. “Okay, ready?” He turns with a smile, one that’s definitely forced.

When they arrive at your place, Bucky hesitates to knock on your door. But he feels the burn of his sister’s judgement and knocks. The door swings open to reveal your father, a smile on his face as he leans in for a much needed hug. “Oh thank god it’s you. Come in.” He steps aside once he pulled away from the hug, a smile plastered on Rebecca’s face as she watches the interaction.

He steps in, analyzing the surrounding. His heart is racing very fast to the thought of seeing you again for the first time in nearly five years. But he doesn’t see you, instead he sees Sam marching up to him. All while Rebecca pats his shoulder as she goes to talk with your mom.

“Hey, man.” He pulls him in for a hug. Sam pats him in the back, and he pulls away and they laugh. “God, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you.”

Bucky rolls his eyes at his friend. “Sam, we literally see each other at work.”

“Yeah, but work is different. Stark gives so much shit, I don’t know how I’m gonna finish those papers by this week.” Bucky nods, his arms crossed which causes his muscles to flex. “Holy shit, dude. You’ve been working out?”

He nods again, chuckling at how his close friend touches his biceps. “Anyways, I’m gonna head to the kitchen for a beer. Want one?”

Sam shakes his head, pulling back from Bucky. “Can’t, I’m with the little one tonight.” Bucky lets an ah, nodding as he understands his friend’s situation.

“Hey, where is Raven?” Sam looks around for his little girl and you. Not finding the both of you, he assumes you’re probably together having some fun.

“Oh, she’s probably with Y/n. I don’t know where they are though.” Sam simply says. He has no worries about leaving his daughter with you. He trusts you and you’re a very smart girl. So he finds it alright that the two of you are alone, probably playing some fantasy game that Raven wanted to play.

“Right. I’ll be back.” Bucky pats his friend as he leaves for the kitchen. The majority of the guest steering away from the area as it’s the only place in the house where it’s nearly empty. At least he thought it was.

But when walks in, he notices you sitting on the marble counter with sweet little Raven by your side. The both of you holding a cookie in each hand. With you whispering something to the child beside you.

“It’ll be our little secret.”

Bucky leans against the wall, looking at the way you’re smiling down at Raven. “What’ll be our little secret?” His voice rumbles through the quiet air and catches the attention of both girls. The look on Raven’s face makes his lips curve into a smile.

“Uncle Bucky!” Her hands drop the cookies and she reaches for him as she can’t get down from the counter herself. So Bucky strides over to your side, lifting the little girl up and into his arms. “Auntie Y/n, look, it’s Uncle Bucky!”

Getting off the counter, you smooth down your skirt as you smile at Raven. “Yes it is, Uncle Bucky.”

Raven turns to Bucky. “Auntie Y/n was giving me cookies. I’m not supposed to eat them because daddy will get mad but she said it’s our secret.”

Bucky raises his brows at Raven, looking at her in pretend shock. He then turns to you, playing along with the little girl. “Did she now?”

You smile softly at Bucky. With Raven in his hands, he looked like a dad. Hell, he would be an amazing dad if he had the chance. “It was one cookie, Raven. Don’t tell your daddy.”

Raven giggles and you swear to god that it’s the cutest thing you’ve ever heard. She leans in to Bucky, whispering into his ear about something. When she finishes, the two look back at you. “I won’t tell daddy, Auntie Y/n.”

Letting out an exaggerated sigh, you wipe the pretend sweat that’s on your forehead. “Oh thank god.” Raven laughs and both you and Bucky look at her with so much adoration.

“Okay, Rave, how ‘bout you go to daddy first while I get myself a cookie as well?” She nods and Bucky sets her down on the floor. The two of you watch as she runs out of the kitchen with her little dolly, her small feet making her run with a waddle.

With that, it leaves you with silence and Bucky. He smiles at you and you return back the gesture. For a few moments the silence stays until Bucky kicks it out as he’s the first one to speak up.

“Congratulations, by the way.”

Nodding softly, you don’t dare look up at him.

“Thank you.”

Bucky turns to the fridge, opening it as he looks for beer. But he fails to see any and scrunches his face in confusion.

“We don’t keep the beer there anymore. Dad caught me once looking for it. I was 20 for fucks sake.” You roll your eyes at the memory and Bucky lets out a chuckle and god, does your heart flutter at the sound of it. Its been a while since you’ve heard that, and you’re hoping that it’s not the last.

“I mean, you can’t blame him. You are pretty rebellious.” He says, crossing his arms as he follows you outside to the patio. He watches as you bend over to the cooler, lifting it up to reveal dozens of beer bottles. You take two, one for him and one for you.

“Excuse me, I am not.” You fake a gasp at his statement. Taking offence in his words.

Bucky follows you back in the kitchen, watching you open the bottles with a bottle opener. Handing one to you, you hold on to your drink. “How does it finally feel to legally drink alcohol?” There’s an implication to his words, one that you didn’t seem to get.

Leaning against the marbled counter, you smile at him while drinking the beverage. Exaggerating a sigh when you finish a sip. “It feels good. Not gonna lie.” A chuckle falls from both of you, filling in the tension that lives in the air. “It’s even better when I don’t have to pay for a fake ID.” You smirk at him, your lips hovering over the small opening of the glass.

Bucky shakes his head, his eyes following as you wrap your lips around the bottle, sipping the alcoholic beverage. He shouldn’t be thinking of thoughts like that, he said that he was over you yet here we was. Staring at your lips the way you had done to his—

“Hey, Y/n.” Rebecca’s voice booms through the air, catching his attention.

His sister’s eyes look confused as she looks at you and her brother. Her eyes falling down to the beer bottles in both of your hands. “Where’d you get that?” She asks. You look over your shoulder, pointing outside to the patio.

“Out in the cooler.”

When Rebecca leaves, the two of you share a brief moment. But she returns, the moment is gone. Eyes locked away on something else and Bucky taps his fingers on the side of his glass. “Hey, congratulations.” Rebecca says, a hand on her arm as she smiled at you.

“Thank you. After four year, it’s finally over.” You laugh and Rebecca follows along

“Cheers to that!” She exclaims. The laughter dies down and she excuses herself to the living room, her eyes catching her brother’s and she has this scowl on her face.

Once you’re left alone with Bucky again, you smile at him. “I should go back with them. Dads gonna want me to talk with some relatives.” Bucky nods, he wants to say something, he doesn’t know what but he just does. Although by the time he tries to open his mouth, you’re already walking out of the room. He doesn’t notice it but you look back to your shoulder, taking a glance at his figure one last time.

* * *

With nearing your second beer, you sit yourself down on the couch with arms rested on the armrest. You watch as Bucky plays little Raven, her small and melodic laughs echoing the room as Bucky lifts her up and down in effort to pretend to be a rocket ship.

“Uncle Bucky!” She laughs as he tickles her pudgy stomach, arms and legs wailing around. Bucky catches your eye as you watch him with the child, his lips softly turn upwards upon eye contact and you don’t know if it’s the alcohol but your cheeks suddenly feel warm. You catch Bucky whispering something into the little girl’s ear after making her laugh.

“Auntie Y/n! Play with us!” You feel the weight of her on your lap when jumps on you. A small groan leaving you as you hold on to her. Smiling down at the child, you softly shake your head.

“I don’t think so right now, Rave.”

A pout appears on her face, one that makes your heart drop. “Please.” She asks one more time, your eyes looking over her small figure to see Bucky looking back at you. Your eyes drop down to Raven again, a sigh escapes your mouth and you place you beer down.

“Okay, lets go!” Raven exclaims, clapping her hands.

Somehow, just somehow, you can’t keep your godamn eyes off the brown haired man that’s a few feet from you. The need to look at him entering you every five minutes and every time you look up, you find him looking back at you. And every fucking time, there’s a flutter in your chest that you can’t explain.

And it scares you every time that feeling erupts because after nearly four years, those same damn feelings returns like no time had passed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which fate brings the two together once again, this time, it’s where an old date happened.

Laughter ensured as the three of you entered the subway. You were out to celebrate graduation like you had promised and here you were. Living with two other girls in your condo, it was essential to living in New York. You were afraid of getting some bitchy roommates but instead you were gifted with Kate and America, both the same age as you and in school. Both a life saver with every exams, party, and breakups.

The three of you didn’t go to the same university, but it didn’t matter as long as the three of you graduated. In which you did of course and now you were off to celebrate. The three of you agreed on lunch first before roaming the streets of New York. Suggesting your favourite place on Earth, aka Joe’s Pizza, they had agreed.

Which led you here, standing in the crowded subway train as it was rush hour in the area. You didn’t mind it though, as long as you were near Kate and America you knew you’d be fine. Sending looks their way, you laugh quietly to yourself as you were so grateful for having such kind and amazing friends.

Once you got off, the three of you headed out of the station. “You know, not to be that bitch, but I wished we like got drunk at a bar or something. But pizza is fine too. As long as I’m with you guys.” You let a groan at Kate’s words, sticking your tongue out at her playfully.

“We would’ve gotten drunk as fuck if I didn’t have that job interview tomorrow.”

“Okay but that’s a reasonable excuse. Sis is about to get that coin.” America rubs her index and thumb together and the three of you laugh at her joke.

Once arriving at Joe’s Pizza, the line up wasn’t too bad and the three of you were able to get seats inside. You had offered to buy the lunch, the two said no and both wanted to split but you had insisted. So now you’re in line, waiting for your turn to order. When you finally do, you sit back down with the girls, their faces plastered with a smile as you wait for them to call your name.

“What?” You look at the two like they’re crazy.

“Some crazy hot dude is staring at you.” Kate says, giggling in between. You roll your eyes at her because you don’t care for some crazy hot dude right now. “No, really! He’s got this stubble and really hot hair. He’s like right over there.” She tries her best to be as discreet as possible when she points behind.

And you, of course you look back without a care in the world and you friends scold you for that. But what you see makes your heart jump because it’s Bucky who your friends are referring to as the crazy hot dude who’s staring at you. Dressed pristinely in a black suit with a black tie, it makes your legs ache at the sight. Then he goes and fucking smiles and you quickly turn around flustered. “See, isn’t he fucking hot?” America nudges Kate.

“Oh my god, Y/n, you’re so red.” America chuckles and squeezes your cheeks. You slap away her hand, covering your face with your palm. “C’mon, get his number or something.” You feel warmth to your face as you realize that Bucky is looking back at you. You’re supposed to be over him but yesterday’s party did not help with that.

Now you’re here, in the pizza place where he took you out after fucking you senselessly in his car. How are you suppose to keep calm when he’s just a seat across from you, staring a hole into your back.

“You haven’t been on a date since Wanda, and that was nearly four years ago.” America’s words ring through your ear. She was right, Wanda was a nice date. Especially that incident at the club. But at the moment, it wasn’t right and you weren’t exactly ready to start a relationships yet. You did try to go on a few dates after Wanda, none just felt the same or right. All those lousy college boys and those college girls who claim they’re just experimenting never met your needs. So you called a pause.

You weren’t oblivious to the fact that all of what happened with your dating life was because of Bucky. But here’s the thing, you haven’t told your best friends about Bucky. They knew about you dating an older man, they just didn’t know who and what he looked like. So the news would definitely come as a surprise when the man who fucked you up so good, is sitting right behind you.

So you sigh, looking at both Kate and America. “Okay, remember when we played that game where we shared our like kinkiest and dirtiest experiences?” They both nod. “And remember when I told you guys about that older man that I had an affair with?” They nod again. “Well, that was my dad’s friend.”

Both of their mouth drop, a big could careless fly in and you wait a moment for them to gain their sanity back. “You fucked him?” America says, wide in shock.

Next you know, Kate is squealing uncontrollably. “Oh my god! You’re so lucky! Was he big? Wait, he probably is!” The people in the restaurant look at the three of you like you guys are insane. Bucky probably thinks your friends are insane. “Give him your number, Y/n! He probably misses you or something.”

Shaking your head, you lose that thought of his actually missing you. “No, what we had is over.”

“No! There could be something there!”

Before you can even answer Kate again, tou’re thankful that your order was called up so you can get away from your screaming friends. But when you return, Kate is gone and America is looking at you like a beaten puppy and you just know. Kate is always the spontaneous one in the friend group. You love that about her but sometimes she doesn’t have a filter. And by sometimes, you mean right now. You turn around to see Kate talking to Bucky, sitting across from him and you feel a sharp pinch in your chest.

“I’ll be back.” You send America a smile, placing down the box of pizza on the table and as you walk away from your table and toward Kate, America leans forward to watch the action happen. You hear Kate giggling and that same bubbling feeling resurfaces and you cant seem to get rid of it.

“Hi, Kate. Our pizza is here.” Your voice is firm and stern. Sensing there’s no room for arguing, Kate’s laugh falls and quiets down. The same goes for Bucky. “Let’s go.” You tell her again and she rolls her eyes at you as she gets up, but when she passes you, a giggle falls from her.

You turn to Bucky with a scowl. “Don’t go trying something with my friends or I swear to god, _**James**_ , you’ll fucking regret it.” A finger is pointed at him and he moves it away from him.

“I don’t plan on trying anything with anyone any time soon. Especially with your friends, **_sweetheart_**. She gave me your phone number because she said, and I quote, that you’re too pussy to give it to me. You didn’t tell me that you changed it.” He crosses his arm causing his muscles to flex under the dress shirt. His jaw clenches at your accusation and you can’t help but gulp at the sight.

You practically stutter on your words when you open your mouth. “Well, I - I did. I changed it a while ago.”

Bucky looks over your shoulder, seeing your two friends watching the interaction. They eventually look away when Bucky catches them. “Well, I have your new one now.” You catch the small curve on his lips, he’s trying to hold back his smile, you can tell. “Well, I have a meeting to go to. Say thank you to your friend Kate for me.” You watch him as he grabs his jacket, putting it on and it fits perfectly. The jacket completing the whole set. He has a pizza box in his arms, holding it effortlessly.

“I hope to see you again, Y/n.” He softly smiles at you one more time before walking away.

You turn back to your friends, their faces engraved with a smile. You walk back to them, a scowl that could, to some, kill. But not to them. They’re immune and they can’t help but laugh.

“You’re welcome!” Kate sings. “I practically just brought you guys together after so many awaited years. You might as well call me Cupid.” You hear America laugh along with Kate and you instinctively flip the two off.

“Fuck you.” You groan.

“Oh, I’m sure, James would like to.”

“You little shits.”

They send you those angelic smiles and you start to laugh with them. The rest of the afternoon is spent with pizza and giggles. Small snarky comments about each other. Once lunch finishes, the three of you prepare to head out. America and Kate excuses themselves to the bathroom and you stay to watch their things.

You waste time on your phone, scrolling through emails and Instagram. But your attention is caught when your phone buzzes with a notification.

_Miss me? - Bucky_


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which unbeknownst to the reader, she joins in dinner with her family … and bucky.

“You seem happy. Someone have a goodnight?” Kate teases, bumping her hip against yours and you scowl at her. It’s too early for this. But you weren’t going to deny that you did have a goodnight after what happened with Bucky.

 _You idiot, you’re falling too easily for him_ , the voice on your head tells you.

You shake that thought off and return to eating breakfast with the girls. The silence not uncomfortable and the three of you chew on food. The silence is then broken when America is the first one to speak up. Talking about her plans for the day, and Kate spoke about hers. You talked about the interview that you had going for the morning, the one at the school near Brooklyn.

“Oh, by the way, I’m not coming home for dinner.” You announce and both girls frown.

“Awh, why not?”

“I’m spending it with my parents. They wanted me to come over for dinner to just have some family alone time.” They nod, understanding your priorities and continue to talk about their plans. You listened in, until your phone buzzed.

> **_Sorry for keeping you up all night_ **

> **_Don’t worry about it. I’d gladly do it again._ **

You furrow your brows at your answer. Fuck, you shouldn’t be leading Bucky on. But you genuinely can’t help it. You just feel so relaxed when you talk to Bucky that it naturally comes out. The flirting that comes with your relationship is setting you up like it had last time.

“Who on Earth are you texting at this hour?” Suddenly, the phone is snatched away from you. In Kate’s hands as she reads the messages on your phone with America leaning over her. An attempt to get your phone back is ensured but you fail and you whine at the two.

“Guys! Give my phone back!”

A gasp echoes through the room and America looks up at you with a mocking smile. “ _Don’t worry about it. I’d gladly do it again_. Liar! You said you don’t like him anymore!”

“I don’t! We were just talking about things last night!”

America gasps again and covers her mouth. She looks at Kate and then back at you when realizes the reason you had been annoying her in her sleep with your giggles. “James was the person you were talking with last night, wasn’t it? No wonder I couldn’t fucking sleep. Missy over here was too busy talking to her ex. Giggling like a fucking idiot.”

“Hey!” But it was true. You ended giggling through the night, jokes told left and right. You couldn’t help. The charm Bucky had was seeping through the screen.

“Oh please. Wait, look. Awh, he calls you sweetheart.” Kate’s face physically softens, her lips curved up into a small smile and America looks back at you with soften eyes. You roll your own at them, huffing as you cross your arms. “Can I have my phone back now?” You ask, frustrated and annoyed.

The two laugh at your response, eventually feeling bad and returning your phone. You snatch it back, giving them a glare and they laugh again. “Fuck you guys.”

“Listen, if you still like James that’s okay. At least don’t lie about it.” Kate says, filling her mouth at the same time with pancakes. America nods and follows her actions.

“I agree. Living in denial won’t help resolve your issues with him. Even if you have cleared up the past.”

The groan leaves your body as you bang your head on the table. You know your friends are right but you hate it. “I’m the therapist in the friend group! Don’t therapize me!” Your yell is muffled but the two shake their heads at you.

Sighing, you look back up at them with a defeated look. “I should get ready.” They nod and they watch as you drag yourself to the bathroom. They hear you yell in the bathroom and laugh their assses off.

—

While breakfast started off shit, your interview didn’t. It went well. They had asked you questions that you were definitely prepared for, all thanks to Kate and America for practicing with you.

The employer had liked you a lot. She a was a kind woman, who looked like she was in her mid 50s. Her grey hair definitely growing in. But she liked you and even vocally expressed it. She nodded with every answer you gave to her question, which definitely was a good sign. At the end, she had expressed that she liked you and your work ethics and interests. But she would give you a call in a week.

That scared you but you were optimistic about the job. So you went out to celebrate with yourself for lunch. Down the small cafe near Central Park, you ordered yourself some food to have a small picnic by yourself. You’d love to be out there with your friends, but sometimes having alone time can be relaxing.

Which you did. A blanket on the grass, and headphones in as you listen to music. Your cookies beside you, occasionally taking a bite. You felt so peaceful. So melodic. A piece of calm that you haven’t felt in a while. Of course, that is until a notification stopped your music.

> **_How was your day?_ **

It was from Bucky. You didn’t know whether to text him back or leave on read. You were thinking of Kate and America’s words earlier. You were leading him on, at least you thought you were. And you definitely didn’t want that. But it was obvious that there was definitely something else there. Something more than a friendly conversation.

So you sat there, nibbling on your lip, something you don’t intentionally do but it’s grown as a habit, thinking of what to do. A minute passes and you choose to text him, threading carefully around your answer.

> **_I’m good, thanks. Just having a little picnic. How about you?_ **

The three dots show up, indicating that he was typing up his response.

> **_Got these shit ton of paper work to do. So, not going great._ **

> **_Oh, sorry to hear that_.**

> **_I know 🙄_ **

You laugh to yourself as you’ve never seen Bucky Barnes ever use an emoji in his whole life. The first time you’ve seen him do that.

> **_Oh, nice emoji you’ve got there._ **

> **_Thanks, Sam and Wanda taught me how to do it._ **

You pause at his response. Forgetting that your ex, who’s not really your ex but kind of your ex since you two went on a date and fucked, worked with Bucky, who’s also your ex but he didn’t know it at the time but it was still a relationship regardless. So it was all very confusing to some, but you had forgotten that Wanda worked with Bucky. You don’t recall telling her who was the “boyfriend” you mentioned at the club though. So there was no conflict at work. Thankfully.

> **_Oh, cool._ **

> _**Yeah**._

And dear god, the awkwardness can be sensed through the screen. You think of an answer but eventually you decide to leave it at that. To leave him on read and you return to your little picnic, trying to find that sense of calmness again. But Bucky enters your mind a little too often and you can’t sense calm. Well, not in that sense of calm you hoped you could get.

Perhaps past memories enter and you question if things could ever go back. You don’t suppose so, seeing that he’s the one who cheated on you with his ex-wife. The one who you learned recently still is dating some guy named Clint Barton. You gagged at the memory, or the thought of the bitch and your ex in bed.

Groaning, you pack up everything. Eventually chowing down your cookies , you huff as you pack your blanket and leftover snacks in your bag. You mentally scold yourself for being such a bitch and ruining your date. So you start walk to the subway, a scowl on your face as the stupid thoughts reply again.

So much for that picnic.

—

With dinner nearing, you got off work much earlier than expected. Kate and America were already home, preparing their food for the evening. Excusing yourself, you turn to your room and prepare for the dinner with your family.

You choose something more casual, but with a dash of sparkle. The green poka dot midi dress hung in your closet, waiting to be used and you choose that tonight’s dinner would be a perfect time to use it.

Makeup would be minimal, it’s just your parents after all. So a little bit of mascara and blush wouldn’t hurt. You have a few minutes left before you should leave, so with a small bag hanging off your shoulders and a pair of converse on your feet you leave the comfort of your room.

“Someone’s looking nice as hell.” America hollers and you feel your cheeks warm up.

“It’s just dinner with my parents. But I always love to dress up for an occasion.” They watch you twirl in your dress, a smile on your face as you do so. “Also, Kate, do you mind if I borrow your car for just tonight. I don’t want to take the train home.”

The raven-haired girl nods, pointing over to the front door. “Keys are over there. Have fun.” You smile at the two, grabbing her keys and you leave the apartment.

Kate Bishop’s family is filthy rich. She inherited a lot of her money from her parents. But she’s not one to take advantage of it, she works hard for her money, at least the ones she doesn’t use. You were there with America when she boug her car, it’s not luxurious. Which says a lot about her and you adore her for that.

Coming from a family who lived in Brooklyn, you understood her “struggle”. Everything can be handed to you, if you choose. But not you. You want to work like the others. In which you did. Without the help of your family’s money.

The drive isn’t too bad to Brooklyn, you were able to dodge rush hour and make it with had an hour to spare. Parking the car, you make yourself presentable before making your way to the front door. You still had a key to your old home, so of course you were going to use it.

The knob turned and the door slowly swung open, you expected it to be quiet. As your parents would be silently conversing in a conversation waiting for you. But your mom’s laugh catches you off guard and your face pinches at the odd scenario.

“Mama?” You call out for them.

Her laughter dies down and she peaks her head out the dinning room. A smile on her face as she fully steps into the hallway. “Y/n? Oh, you’re finally here!” Her smile widens, causing her to showe her perfect porcelain teeth. She walks over towards you, her arms open as she engulfs you in a hug. A tight one.

“Hi, Mama.”

When she pulls pack, her warm hands that smell like coconut lotion cup your face. “So grown.” Her eyes look at you with pride. Letting go of your face, she holds your hand and leads you into the dining room. “So how was your interview today, darling?”

All eyes look back at you. Your dads. And _Bucky’s_.

He sits across from your mother’s seat, wearing a black sweater, his brown curly hair is tossled and he looks good. Really good.

“It - It went - It went well, Mama.” She pulls a chair back for you beside her, you thank her and sit down. You look back up at your dad, smiling at him. “Hi, daddy.”

You lean over to your mom, who’s already sat beside you with a napkin over her lap. “Mama, I thought it was just gonna be the three of us.”

“Your father thought it’d be nice to invite an old friend.” You nod at her explanation despite the distaste for it. You follow your mothers actions and place the napkin over your lap. Finally looking up, you catch the eyes of a certain brunet. But your father talks you out of that small trance Bucky trapped you in.

“So, Y/n, how was your interview?”

“It was good. The employer really liked me. Even said she liked my work ethics and such. But I still gotta wait a week for a call back.” You watch him nod at your answer, taking a bite out of his steak, the one he’s really good at making.

“Can you pass me the mashed potatoes?” Your voice is weak and meek, something that your parents didn’t catch but Bucky did as he nods at your request. His ring clad fingers grab the bowl, handing it over to you and you’re not oblivious to the subtle graze of fingers against your own. “Thank you.”

“So, Buck, how’s Rebecca doin’?” You catch your father’s accent slip, and you smile, thinking how you catch yourself doing the same sometimes.

“She’s been great, actually. She’s on top of her class. Don’t get to see her often though but we keep in touch.” Softly, but it’s there, you find yourself smiling at his words. You don’t have siblings, sometimes you wish you did because being an only child sucks. It gets boring and to be fair, you get to annoy someone other than your parents. But you were thankful for when you had Rebecca, despite the one year age difference, she was more family than friend.

“You know, I don’t want to be a gossip, but I think Maria is dating again.” You look at your mom, eyes wide and mouth filled with food. Maria was Sam’s ex, Raven’s mom. Their story is a little complicated but long story short, the two didn’t work out with their work schedules and constant fighting. But despite that drama, there was one good thing that came out. That was little Raven. They share custody of the child, but Raven loves both her parents very much.

Bucky’s eyebrows raise at the mention of his friend. Your father does the same and looks at your mom. “Is she now?” Your ma nods her head, giving your father **_that_** look. The one that has judgment written all over it.

“Hey, Bucky, that reminds me. What’s up with you and that redhead you were seeing? What’s her name? Dorothy? Dolores?”

“Dot! That’s her name. Yeah, I remember the two of you together.” Your mother finishes your dad’s sentence and your actions stop midway as your fork is in the air. You look up at Bucky and you catch his eyes plead guilty. _Little fucker_. You knew you couldn’t trust him. He was seeing someone and didn’t fucking tell you. Perhaps that was the reason he apologized last night. To give him closure or some sort of permission to fuck another woman without having the weight of his guilt on his shoulders.

To say you were angry was an understatement. You were beyond angry. You were disappointed. So disappointed that you genuinely thought that Bucky could change after these years. But old habits never die.

“Yeah, Dot. You ever thinkin’ about letting go off that dating life and settling down?” You’re sure that your dad and Bucky probably have had this conversation a long time ago. But you knew your father all too well, he liked to pick into people’s personal lives. Something you frown upon. But it’s your father, he’s going to do stupid shit.

You watch with careful eyes at the interaction. Your mother beside you chewing a little too loudly for your comfort. A roll of your eyes and you try to focus your attention on your food, the skin and meat slipping off the bone.

“Um, I’m not sure what I want to do exactly. I know I’m not getting younger but I don’t mind just living right now.” It’s simple as that but it doesn’t ease the crack that’s forming once again on your chest. It hurts and it feels familiar, it shouldn’t but it does.

“Sad, I really liked you and Natasha together. She really is a beauty.” The words that fall from your mother feels disgusting. You can only imagine the distaste on her tongue. “I honestly—”

Enough with the talk, you end it. “You know Mama, I don’t think Bucky wants to talk about past relationships.” You sense the tension in the room increase. Perhaps from your father or Bucky, but when you look up, blue eyes look back at you thankfully.

You laugh him internally. Laughing at the fact that he thought you may had done it for him. When in fact, it was for your own selfish reason. The fork scraps against the plate as you play with your food. The silence is unbearable and you cringe at it.

“You know, what. You’re right. We’re sorry, Bucky. We didn’t mean to probe.”

The poor apology makes your face pinch. There’s no genuine sound to it and you feel so warm all over. It’s honestly embarrassing. Your parents are always one to probe into people’s lives, as much as you hate it, there’s no stopping them.

But the night already feels too long. You already feel exhausted from them and you’ve barely even finished your first dish. But you try to keep up, pushing through the discomfort.

“It’s alright. As long as we stop talking about relationships, we’re fine.” It’s a joke that pulls a chuckle out of your dad. Which makes you tilt your head in confusion. It’s not quite funny in the slightest bit.

“Okay, change of topic. Do you know what you’re going to do for your birthday?”

Your head snaps up, you had forgotten his birthday. For the first time since the breakup, this had been the first time you hadn’t remembered his birthday. Nor celebrated it. It’s a good thing, meant that you’re moving on but yet somehow deep inside you, there was guilt. “When’s your birthday?”

Bucky smiles at you, softly and kindly.

_Fuck. Please stop._

“This weekend.” He answers, nonchalantly. How could you forget? You hated forgetting people’s birthday. Even if it were your ex’s.

“Do you have a plan? Are you celebrating?” Suddenly, you’re all too interested and you catch yourself before being thrown too far. Bucky shrugs, genuinely not knowing the answer and he returns to eating his food.

“I think you should celebrate. Have a little gathering with close friends. Cook some food. Just like we did back then.” Your father’s suggestion perks the heads of your mom and Bucky. Your mother’s hands clapped together in excitement. She always did love a good gathering.

All eyes turn to Bucky, waiting for his decision. You really don’t know what you’re expecting as you watch him. This time you’re able to stare a little longer and examine his posture and looks. Fuck, he really does look good with his hair. It’s starting to turn spring, which means his hair gets curly. You never know why it does that but you absolutely adore it. But those thoughts are cut short when he catches you looking at him. The slightest bit of a curve appears on his lips. Bastard.

“That doesn’t seem like a bad idea. After all, it can make up for last year’s lack of a party.” Bucky smiles, he smiles really wide till it reaches his eyes and you freeze in your spot. _No, don’t_ , your head tells you.

After the decision making at the table, everything seems to ease in better. The conversation turns more lively. Every now and then you join in with a comment or a story. You still refuse to look at Bucky directly. His actions of not telling you he is seeing someone still makes you angry. He’s not going to get off this easily.

But when dinner is finished and the talking subsides, He’s the first one to call it a night. He napkin being folded onto his plates and he offers to help wash the dishes. As usual, your parents decline his and your offer as well. Telling you to go home before it gets too late. You feel bad for leaving but your parents insist that you get a goodnight sleep.

Your parents bid you a farewell, gifting you a kiss on the cheek as you exit the home with Bucky on your trail. You refuse to turn back but Bucky’s voice thats calling out for you makes it really difficult.

“Goodnight, Bucky. I’ll see you whenever.” It’s a rather sad goodbye but you’re frustrated with him at the moment. So you decide he didn’t get any special treatment this time. Not this time

You fail to see the frown on his face as you get into your car. Bucky doesn’t push anymore and simply just watches you back out of the parking lot. When you drive off eventually, he finds himself walking back home, seeing that he only lived a few houses down.

While you, you yell at yourself in the car for being so stupid. All of those kind and flirty texts were too good to be true.

You knew not to trust a man like Bucky Barnes. He used you for his personal gain. And here you thought he would’ve changed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the reader makes an unforgettable decision.

The evening would be eventful. Much like the dinner with your parents and Bucky had gone. You wonder why, you may ask? Tonight would be Bucky’s birthday gathering. Your Uncle Sam and Steve would be there, along with your father and mother to celebrate Bucky’s birthday.

You would’ve greeted the man a happy birthday text. But seeing that some unfortunate news had been shared that he had failed to inform you on. He wasn’t going to get that treatment. Even if he did call you and text you multiple times this week. In which, you ignored every notification.

Kate and America had tried to ease your anger. But they eventually ended up fueling it more when Kate had referred to Bucky as a man-whore who couldn’t keep it in his pants. You weren’t one to use harsh words, but what they said about Bucky was true and you couldn’t disagree with facts.

You wish you could skip the party and stay home with your gals. But you’ve already promised to be there and there was no backing out on a promise to your parents.

Despite their bitterness towards your ex, Kate and America had helped you find a gift for said ex. You could say that you knew Bucky well and what he liked. But it’s been years and it worried you that his interest had changed. So with a little help from your girlfriends, you had bought him a gift that he hopefully would like.

It was nearing the said time you were suppose to be there. Simply dressing up, you wore a burgundy plaid skirt paired with a square cut neckline blouse and finished it off with some casual converse sneakers for comfortability. A small and dainty necklace sat on your décolletage and you were ready.

Kate peaked her head into your room, a smile on her face as her eyes are closed. “Can we look? Are you ready?” She asked. You took a look at yourself in the mirror once last time and deemed it okay. So you tell her. “Yup. We’re good.”

America’s heavy steps could be heard as she ran to your room. Both hers and Kate’s eyes open. “You look very cute, Y/n. Very… I don’t want to talk to my ex because he’s a bitch but I want him to see what he missed out on, type of gal.” America nods, tapping chin as she furrows her brows.

“Mmh, Kate’s super right. Cute but with a hint of fuck you for cheating on me.” You let out a laugh at the girls’ jokes. Eventually they die down and the three of you look at each other.

“Okay, wish me luck. I hope I don’t have to talk him at all tonight.”

They follow you out the door and plant you kisses on your cheek. They watch you in the hallway until you eventually get into the elevator. Kate lets you borrow her car again, seeing that you hated taking the train at such a late hour, you didn’t want to take the risk.

When you had arrived at your neighborhood in Brooklyn Heights, you catch the black and grey cars lined up among the street. Assuming it were your Uncle Sam and Uncle Steve that had arrived, they took up the space near Bucky’s home. Meaning that you would have to park down the street and walk a few minutes to Bucky’s house. You didn’t mind it and so you parked Kate’s Audi.

You could hear muffled conversations go on as you near the front door. Waiting, you stare at the oak wood door of Bucky’s townhouse. Eventually, the door swings open to reveal Bucky, curly locks tossled in such a way that it was tossled to be like that. He looks taken back, as if he were surprised that you’d be even coming.

“Y/n. Hi.” He exhales. His eyes look up at you and then down to the octopus themed wrapping paper. You catch the way he smiles at your wrapping paper and you reach your hand to give it to him.

“Oh, right. Here’s your gift.” You offer him a smile. Taking the gift, he holds it. But he realizes that you’re still outside and the two of you are lingering. So he steps aside, a signal for you to come in. You take it and step inside, seeing familiar faces and he closes the door behind you.

“Can I get you anything? A beer or water?”

“A beer would be fine. Thank you.”

It’s as simple as that and you catch Uncle Steve’s eyes looking back at you. A face you haven’t seen in such a while. Beside him is his wife; Sharon. You always loved Sharon, she was so nice and every time you hung out with her, she was like your aunt. Steve walks towards you, a smile on his face and once he’s close enough, he engulfs you in a hug.

“Y/n, my god. Look at how you’ve grown. Last time I saw you, you were just to my stomach!” He pulls back, taking a good look at your face, which has a smile on it.

“It’s nice to see you too, Steve. It’s been a while, I agree.”

Bucky joins back, smiling at his blond friend with two bottles of beer in his hands; one for you and one for him. “Here’s your drink, Y/n.”

“Thank you.”

“Your mom is in the living room. Talking her ass off with Sharon. Your dad is just helping clean up the grill.” You nod at his answer, turning to Steve, he smiles back down at you.

“I should get going back to Sharon. Your mom probably is killing her with her fashion week stories again.” Chuckling, you wave at Steve.

“Hey, I thought Becca would be here.”

Bucky frowns at the thought. “She said she couldn’t be here. Study week, but she’s taking an hour off for lunch tomorrow.” He smiles at the thought and you nod. A lingering silence enters the air and your excuse yourself before it gets any more awkward.

“Happy Birthday, Bucky.” You smile at him, one that doesn’t seem forced at all as he can tell by the way it reaches your eye.

He watches you step away from him but it hits him what he was suppose to tell you. So before you can walk away any further, he pulls you back by your wrist. Surprised, you look over your shoulder with eyebrows pinched in confusion.

“I wanted to say that it wasn’t true.”

“Huh?”

“What happened at dinner the other night. I’m not seeing anyone. Dot was a while ago, months ago. I’m not seeing anyone.” He reiterates that last part again, letting you know. You catch on, the anger that you had been storing suddenly vanishing. You were forgiving too easily, but it was just a mere misunderstanding.

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry if you misunderstood.”

He finally lets go your wrist, his touch burning an imprint on your skin. You rub around the area, yearning for his touch again.

“No, I’m sorry. I get it now. Sorry for ignoring you.”

Bucky chuckles and it’s nice to hear it for once without anything clouding your judgment. It’s nice and you adore it. But you truly do feel guilty for ignoring him and acting like a child. You should’ve talked it out with him rather then pushing the subject away.

“It’s alright. But I would appreciate it if you would tell me if I had done anything to make you upset. I don’t want there to be bad blood.”

You smile at him, teeth and all. You like the words that come out of Bucky and it wronged you of all your doubts about him. He’s changing. At least, he’s trying.

“I will. I hope you do the same as well.”

He nods, and this time when you walk away into the dinning room, he lets you.

—

With you nearing your third beer, you’re still able to remain as sober as you can. A little tipsy but not enough for you to do things you’ll regret.

So as your seated in the living room, as most of the guests are; which is not quite a lot, seeing as it’s a small gather. Your father walks in, Bucky beside him, a drink on both their hands.

His blue eyes catches your own from across the room and smile subtly. Enough for you to understand and you return back the favour.

“Can I get everyone’s attention?” In which he does. All heads turn to your father’s direction, chattering coming to a halt. You can sense the nervousness in Bucky’s stance, he’s not one to like the attention or the spotlight. So this is a little out of his comfort zone. “Theres a lot of things everyone here has in common and that’s knowing Bucky Barnes. It just felt like yesterday when we had met but believe me when I say that everyone here is glad that we’ve met you. It’s one of the greatest thing that’ve ever happened to us and we hope to have more years to look forward with you. Happy Birthday, Bucky!”

“Happy Birthday, Bucky!” Everyone collectively cheers, beer bottles raised in the air and some even clang together.

Your smile reaches your eyes, that Bucky can tell as you look back at him. Sitting back on his chair, legs crossed and the urge to kiss you enters him. But when he feels an arm wrapped around his shoulder, he snaps out of it. He greets your father, Sam, and Steve a thank you.

The rest of the night is spent with conversations, stolen glances, and beer bottles in hand.

—

When nearly all of the guest went home, your mother and father stayed to help with the clean up. Although, Bucky insisted that they should go home, your parents stayed for a little while; that it until his home is clean enough for your parents to leave.

“Y/n, are staying at our place or yours?” Mama asked you, slipping on her shoes near the door.

“I’m taking Kate’s cars back home. I’m just gonna help Bucky clean a little bit more.”

Mama nods, finishing to put on her shoes. When she finishes, she walks over to you, face in her hands. She presses a kiss to your forehead, you smile back at her when she pulls back. “Stay safe, Y/n. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Mama. Love you.”

You watch as they exit the room, waving as they do so and once they’re gone, you’re left alone in Bucky’s home.

“You know you didn’t have to stay.” Bucky’s voice takes you back and you turn around to face him.

“It’s fine. I feel bad anyways for ignoring the past week.” A shrug of your shoulders and you return to the kitchen to clean the rest of the plates. You sense Bucky’s presence behind you, talking the trash out of the bin and tying it to put it in the garage.

When he returns, you’ve finished the dishes, seeing that it was only a few plates left or would be fast. He hears a soft humming in the kitchen, it’s soft and familiar. He knows that it’s from you and watches for a while while you dry your hands with the washcloth.

“Again, Y/n. Thank you.”

You turn on your heels, smiling back at him. Your body leans on the marble counter, inches a way from Bucky. You finally get to take in his figure, his outfit, and that goddamn beard he’s growing. He looks really hot.

“No problem.” There’s a silence that takes over for a minute. That is until you speak up again. “So, who’s this Dot you were seeing? Did you meet her at work or something?”

“No, I met her at Joe’s.”

Little shit. That was our place, you wanted to say. But you still had respect and dignity.

“Oh cool, the place where…You know.”

“The place where I took you out for lunch after we fucked in my car? Yup.” Bucky seems much closer to you know, perhaps taking minuscule steps as he talked. But his words surprise you and you gulp down, biting your lip to think of a come back.

“You remember that?”

His eyes fall down to your red mouth then back to your eyes. Making you heart beat fast and out of your chest. He could probably hear your heartbeat by how hard it’s going. But it when you feel his finger dance up along the bare skin of your leg, exposed to the shortness of your skirt, you feel the throbbing return between your legs.

“‘Course I remember that. Especially the way you whimpered so pathetically under me. Begging me to go faster—”

“No, don’t do that.”

He raises his eyebrows at you. Confused by what you meant. His fingers stop in the inner of your thighs.

“Don’t what?”

“Don’t tease me.” It’s a beg, a heavy one as you find yourself panting heavily with his actions. “Don’t make me wait. It’s been too long.”

He stares a little at your eyes, looking for any signs of discomfort. He doesn’t find any and he makes his move. Lips suddenly pressed against your own, and he feels the warmness of it. The taste of the beer lingering on your tongue, sharing its flavour with him. Your hand holds the hand that’s between your legs there, keeping him from moving. While his free hand holds your face close to his mouth as tongues dance.

You feel small under him. His hands are large, huge compared to your size. And his body cages you around, and your free hand pressed on his chest. Built muscles hard under his shirt.

But when the lack of air gets to the both of you, you pull away and look at him. His lips swollen and red just like yours and his hand still between your leg. “Touch me.” You beg, pathetically just like he had said.

He does. His finger teases your swollen button through your cotton underwear, wet and drenched by your arousal. He feels it and pushes a finger through your barricaded hole. “Fuck, Y/n.”

When you feel him play with your button again, it sends electricity through your body. Causing you to arch your back against the counter, pushing you body towards him and he thanks you for it. But when Bucky has had enough with teasing you, he lifts your body onto the kitchen counter. Cold marble coming into contact with your warm ass.

Thankful that you cleaned the counter prior, he lays you down on the surface and stands in between your legs. He jerkes a leg open, on instinct you spread them wide open for his own pleasure.

The feeling of his hands reach under you, gripping your underwear and peels it off your legs. The sight of your white underwear in his hands makes your legs cross together. A wave of insecurity hitting you, despite the fact that Bucky has seen your body in many ways more than one.

“Don’t close them. I wanna see you.”

Elbows on the counter, you look down beteeen your legs to catch Bucky bending down. Feeling his breathing his your skin and you whimper. He catches it and smiles up at you. “Poor baby.” He mocks.

And as you open your mouth to snark back a comment, you feel his tongue lick a strip your slit. A gasp pulled from you and your head is thrown back in ecstasy. “Fuck.”

He dives in again. This time, wrapping his mouth around your swollen button. The suction sending immense pleasure all over. Your whimpers soon turn into needy moans, one that push Bucky forward. He pulls back again, moving his tongue to your gaping hole. Asking to be fucked.

Honey drips out of you and Buckt drinks it up like nectar, licking up like sweet juice. His actions don’t stop and you’re thankful as you feel a coil in your stomach close to bursting. Moans of his name fall from you lips like prayers of need and when your hands fail to grasp onto something, they find habit in Bucky’s curls; pulling softly and pushing him towards you.

Your actions causes him to send vibration to your body, exiting from his mouth and entering your sweet pussy. And as you were just about to come to a release, Bucky pulls away. A smirk on his wet face. “What the fuck?”

Bucky’s hands find comfort on your neck, pulling your upper body up for you to look at him. A smile on your face as he holds you by your neck. “Watch your words, little girl.”

Peering over you, he watches as your lips turn into a smirk. You’re clearly enjoying yourself a little much. “Or what? Gonna punish me?” You teased him, your barefoot running over the bulge over his jeans.

You saw the way Bucky’s jaw clenched and you knew that you were in for it deep.

And he showed you that as he pulled you by the wrist up and away from the counter and up his stairs to his room. Thankful that it’s just the two of you left in his home, the door to his bedroom swings open and collides with his wall; creating a loud thud that was sure to make his neighbours wake up.

The way he mandhandles your body makes your head fill with lust and want. Both clouding your judgement and sending all logic to the window.

As Bucky throws you onto the bed like a ragdoll, you watch from the bed as he removes his black shirt from his body. The view is one you’ll engrave into your head. His tanned chest and abs perfectly built by the gods themselves. “Holy fuck.” Bucky catches what you’ve said and smirks, he fucking smirks because he knows the effect he has in you.

As you’re waiting for him to wreck you, he walks away from the bed and to his drawer. Watching as he pulls out a tie from his top drawer, the one where he still keeps his socks, ties, and boxers. You remember that with the ample amount of times you’ve exceeded your nights in the very bedroom where he’s about to fuck you.

He strides back to your side, motion for you to sit up further on his bed. You obey and sit yourself up on his bed so your head can lay right beside the headboard. “Off.” He says and you get the idea.

Bucky watches you remove your black blouse, revealing you in a lacey bralette that made your breast look so fucking good. But enough with the ogling. So he brings your hands together and using the tie, he ties your hands bound and to the headboard, making you unable to move.

You tug on it to ensure it’s restraint and by the looks of it, you’re stuck to his bed. “Good?” He asks, serious this time. You nod, letting him know you’re perfectly fine.

And so you watch him again as he walks over to the end of the bed, kneeling on the mattress which causes it to dip to his weight. Your heart picks up as you realizes what he’s doing. His hand crawling into your skirt, your bare pussy aching to his touch and to the cold air.

“Y’gonna be a good girl for me?” It’s a mumble against your thigh and you nod, a small whimper of a yeah coming out. But it’s not enough for Bucky, so he lifts his head up. “What was that, Peach?”

Fuck. The nickname that got you in this mess.

“Yes, daddy.” The name slips out before you can even catch it. You look at Bucky with eyes pleading for something, anything, but he smiles up you, indicating that he liked it.

“Good girl.” He says as he pulls your skirt off your legs, revealing your bare sex. Wet and swollen from previous activities. You hear his moan when he sees you, the sound of your hands pulling against the tie catching his attention. “Daddy, please.”

He laughs mockingly at your plead, enjoying at how you’re squirming underneath him. But he wants you to enjoy yourself. So when you hear the clacking of a belt, you smile up at him and sigh at the sound.

But you see him reach over you, knowing what he’s trying to find. “No, It’s fine. I’m on the pill.” You see the transition of his baby blue eyes turn into something more sinister, dark; and lust drawn. The smile turning into a grin on his face makes you reciprocate.

As Bucky readies himself by removing his pants, he sits in between your legs, looking back at you once again. “Ready, baby?”

Nodding vigorously, you pull on your tie. “Please, daddy, fuck me.” The feeling between your legs makes you squirm, making Bucky hold you down with his hands on your hips. Pressing your body down to his mattress. Bucky presses his tip inside you, feeling how tight and small you truly are. He pushes in a bit more but feels the tension and the way your body clenches and pushes him out.

“Bucky…” You know the difficulty he’s having and you give him time. But your hips can’t help but thrust up towards him.

“I know, baby. But you’re so tight.” He cages your body as he leans over you, his face so close to you and you smell his perfume. “I gotta work slowly, ‘kay?” You feel his hand dance on your cheek, your eyes fluttering close and you nod.

Then he pushes in again, this time he gets more in. He’s half way there and he tries to push himself in wholly. Looking down at you, he looks for any sign of discomfort. There’s the slightest bit of burning but it fades when he fills you to the max. A gasp echoes the walls and he looks at you with worry.

“More.”

Bucky stills for a while inside you, letting your body adapt to his size. After all, he was packing well above the average. Perhaps a little well above. But thats not stopping you from fucking him. “Hold on, Peach.”

After a while, his hands find home on your hips as he sits back, still in you. The sudden movement causes him to poke around you, moaning as you feel him. Then without any warnings he pulls out and slams back into you, the tie thays hold your hand together being strained as you pull on it with all your might.

“Fuck! Oh my god!” Yelling out, he slaps a hand over your mouth to keep your screaming bay.

His continuous thrusts send you squirming and shaking under him. Your head moved to your side as you hide your face into a pillow. But you feel his hand grip your chin, forcing you to turn to face him.

“Y’gonna cum?”

Nodding, your mouth opens as he hits that spot that rolls your eyes to the back of your head. “Good, ‘cause so am I.”

There, you feel the coil in your stomach bursting when Bucky talks to you. Hands on hips as he uses it to pound into your small abused hole. The way you’re whimpering around him, makes him smile down at you. So he unties the restraint around your hands, giving you the freedom you deserve and you wrap your arms around his body.

Whining, you scream out as you cum around him. Letting everything go. The way your nails claw his back lets him know, and also lets him finish in time with you as well.

“Oh my god.” You hear his laugh as the two of you calm down. Reeling in the silence of your post-orgasm. He lays next to you, laying down for a minute before he goes to the washroom to bring you a washcloth to clean yourself. A sigh escapes you as you watch him with hooded eyes.

“Thank you.” He smiles, moving the fallen strands of hair from your face.

You don’t even realized it, as you’re hazy from your orgasm but he tucks you in his bed. Laying beside you, you take the chance and lay your head on his chest.

Rubbing your wrists in an effort to comfort the redness that was left there by the tie. Bucky catches on and he frowns. “I’m sorry.”

You know what he means and you look up at him, shaking your head as to answer his question silently. But you think that’s not enough and so you tell him. “No, it’s fine. It doesn’t hurt. Just a little red.”

But he surprises you, as usually. Bringing your hands to his lips, he places a chaste kiss on your wrists. And, fuck, does it do something to your heart. Smiling, you look away from him with a blush to your cheek.

“Goodnight, Bucky.”

Looking down at you, he kisses your head. Smelling the coconut shampoo and it feels familiar.

“Goodnight, Y/n.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the reader and bucky realizes what they’ve done.

The bed feels cold, perhaps a window is open to let the wind come in. But as your eyes flutter open to a unfamiliar setting, you look around with your sense of touch; patting the bed around you, you feel an empty space in a pretty big bed. A groan leaves as you stretch in the open space.

Your body looking for a release and you bring yourself up, elbows supporting you as you look around the room. Your hands rubbing against your eyes to remove the morning crusties. A small headache forms and you definitely can say that was from the alcohol from yesterday.

“G’morning.” The sudden voice startles you, making you jump.

You turn, only to see Bucky in a towel wrapped from his waist down. His body and hair drenched and wet. The bathroom door behind him slightly opened with steam escaping from its gaps. He’s just taken a shower, you assumed.

Breathless, you stare at him in awe, unaware of your own appearance. Which you may add, that you were shirtless yourself, breasts out in the open. Although, Bucky’s eyes never left your face.

“Y’stayin’ for breakfast?”

His question snaps you out of your trance. Your head looking back at him with confusion. He chuckles, moving around the bed to his drawer, pulling out an outfit.

“Did… We did, didn’t we?” He looks back at you, a smile on his face and he nods. Groaning, you fall back on to his bed. “Fuck, I knew I drank too much.”

Bucky chuckles again, sending you shivers down your spine. Your eyes look back up at him, a scowl on your face. “Here.” Something hits you in the face. And as you peel it off, you come to realize that it’s a shirt. His shirt. “You good?”

You manage to put it on, covering your dignity. Sitting up on his bed with your face in the palm of your hands, groaning loudly as if Bucky didn’t hear enough of it already. When you look back up, he’s already put on a black shirt, covering up those delicious muscles of his.

“I have to leave. I’m sorry.”

Your words leave him confused and shocked. Bucky doesn’t know what he’s done wrong. He’s given you a good time, one that you and him enjoyed both thoroughly and he cleared up bad blood between the two of you. But you want to leave him with no explanation.

“At least stay for breakfast.”

You look at him with an apologetic smile. Answering his question silently. As quick as you can, you scoop up your clothes from the floor, your undies and bra laying on his carpet, tossed aside from last night’s activities. _My phone_ , you think, _where is it?_

“It’s on the bedside table.” He says, as he tries to put on his sweatpants without trying to flash you. After all, you’ve seen a lot of him already from last night.

When you get your phone, you’re bombarded with missed calls and messages.

> **Kate: Where are you?**

> **America: Are you staying at your mom’s?**

> **Kate: Y/n??? Are you dead?? Lol. Don’t die.**

While you’re too busy looking over your messages and putting on your underwear and clothes, the two of you fail to hear the front door closing downstairs. Bucky smirks to himself as he watches you get dressed. You catch him oogling you and your mouth opens wide in shock.

“Nasty son of a bitch.”

He chuckles, setting down his towel on to his bed. As he walks over to you, he sneaks an arm around your waist to pull you close to him. Bucky’s head leaning down to press a kiss to your exposed neck and while as much as you wanted to leave, his lips felt too good touching your skin.

“Bucky…” It comes out as a whisper, a poor protest. But it contrast your actions as your pulling on his hair to bring him closer to you. “This is wrong.”

“I know.” It’s a mumble against your neck, but the vibrations that exit from his mouth makes you shiver at the touch. Especially with his hand fondling your breasts through his shirt.

“I’m suppose to hate you.”

“I know.”

With that, his fingers drift down further and you place a hand on top of his, not to tell him no but to encourage him to further. But as he were just about to touch you where you needed him most, his bedroom door swings open causing the two of you to pull away.

“Happy birthday!” Rebecca’s voice booms through the air and the two of you look at her with surprise.

“Becca?”

“Y/n?”

Your eyes go wide at the mention of your name, so you pull back from Bucky’s arms and tidy yourself. Rebecca’s eyes look from Bucky’s wet hair to you, with only still his shirt on and just underwear underneath. At first she’s a little confused why you’re here, after all, they haven’t seen you since the graduation party. But it hits her.

“Oh. **_Oh_**! Yeah, I’m gonna wait downstairs.”

The door closes again and you push Bucky away from you. Your face scowling as you put back your clothes.

“I’m so fucked. This is the second time your sister caught us. Fuck.”

“I remember the first time.” He throws you your skirt, catching it, you scowl your face at him; remembering the memory. “You cried.”

“Fuck you.”

“You just did.”

You groan at his words, hitting him in the chest with your blouse. But he’s faster and way stronger than you, so he catches your hand, pulling you in for a surprise kiss. One that takes you back when he smashes his lips onto yours. Tongue licking around your bottom lip, asking for entrance which surprisingly give to him. The sudden intrusion makes you gasps in his arms, bodies closer than before and you feel his hand find comfort by squeezing your ass.

It’s only until then when you’re lacking air that you pull away. Foreheads touching and you take a moment to breath and reflect on your decision. Which you knew was just going to bite you in the ass.

“I should go.”

“Uh - Right.”

And after changing, he follows you down the stairs, catching his sister in the far back of the kitchen where she seems to sitting on one of the bar stools. Rebecca’s eyes looking over in the hallway for her brother and the girl he used to fuck. She groans when she hears you talking, she doesn’t know what about but she distaste it.

When she hears the door close and the footsteps of her brother near, she sits up in her chair and smiles when she sees Bucky enter the kitchen; raking his fingers through his curly hair. “Happy birthday! I would give you my present but I feel like it wouldn’t compare to what Y/n gave you.”

He rolls his eyes at his sister, making her laugh, but he can sense the forced nature from it. “Okay but really. Here’s my gift.” She pulls out a box, matted gold in colour and Bucky raises his eyebrows at her. “Open it! I saved up for it. I saw it when I was in the city. The crest is vintage.”

When Bucky opens it, he sees a [ring](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fimages.app.goo.gl%2FMySLfmWyFPb5cYGU8&t=MDBlM2ExZDE4ZTBmNDI4ZThjNGQ2NDc1MmNjYzEzZTAxYWEzZjhkYSxkY2QxNGZmMTRkNjZmYTA2OTBjMDMyNzYzNzk3ZjY5NjE1NzNlMTk5). Gold in colour and it has the Gucci crest pressed into its metal. He takes it out and places it on his ring finger. “I know how you like vintage things and rings. So I thought why not add another collection to his rings.”

“This is really fucking nice, Beck. I fucking love it.”

He makes his way around the counter, where he just remembered that he ate you out on, and engulfs his sister in a bone crushing hug. “Okie, I can’t breathe.”

“Sorry.”

“So, I didn’t know that you and Y/n were together again.” She doesn’t meet his eyes when she says her statement. Instead, Bucky catches how she pretends to find something interesting on the floor.

“We’re not.”

“Then what the fuck was that in your room?” Her head snaps back up, as if she were offended by what had happened. This time Buckg doesn’t dare to look his sister in the eye, following her actions and staring at the floor.

“Last night, she stayed to help clean up. Then, one thing led to another.”

“Then you fucked.”

He sighs, knowing that it’s the truth that happened. But he hates how she refers to it as _fucking_. Even if it’s the truth. Bucky hates how his sister uses foul words to talk about related events that happen to include you. It’s like she sees you through glasses that make you seem disgusting and manipulative.

“Bucky, you know she hurt you right? Even if it’s just sex, it’s never just sex to you.”

Bucky’s eyes turn into a slit. He’s not oblivious now. He wonders why his sister talks about you as if you were the one to hurt him first. He’s taking responsibility for his actions and that it was him to that ruined the relationship. But it seems to his sister that wasn’t the case.

“Yeah, she hurt me when she left. But she had a good reason. I cheated on her, Becca, with my ex-wife.”

He saw the way his sister rolled her eyes, stepping down from the bar stool and into the vicinity of the fridge. He watches as she opens the metal fridge, rummaging through his storage of food while she talked.

“You guys were never in a serious relationship. It was just sex.”

Bucky feels a coil in his stomach and he doesn’t know if it’s frustration or anger. But he knows it’s not good.

“It was a relationship regardless. If I had feelings of doubt or uncertainty about our relationship, I should’ve gone to her. After all she was my partner. I shouldn’t have slept with Natasha.”

Rebecca stands up, a carton of creamer in her hands and she looks at her brother with some sort of disgust on her face.

“Natasha was good for you. I don’t know why—”

“Hey, we’re suppose to be celebrating my birthday. Not arguing on my birthday. I don’t want to hear another words about this topic.”

She sighs, clearly defeated and she doesn’t like that fact. “Fine.”

—

Even early in the morning, the streets of New York city always seemed to be full. People jaywalking as they don’t have the time to wait for the green light. Drivers yelling at pedestrians. But as you drove back home, it hit you halfway that you’ve essentially gone backwards in your journey of trying to get over Bucky.

You screwed him last night. Needy moans and whimpers escaping your body as he touched you again like he had years ago. Only this time, the sex wasn’t based off of lust. There was something else laying underneath. It felt good. Really good. And as much as you hated that it felt good, you were suppose to move on from him. To forgive and forget the past. But it was tempting. And Bucky Barnes is really tempting.

But when you arrived back at your apartment, you ran up the stairs. After all, you didn’t live too far up high. Only four stories up. The door swung open, Kate and America out in the living room with plates in their hands.

“Thank god! She’s not dead!”

“The hell happened at James?”

With wide eyes and sweaty palms, you freeze in your spot. Back pressed against the closed door and you look at your best friends, their actions paused as they wait for your answer.

“I fucked James.”

The sounds of clattered porcelain against oak wood echo through the silent room. Kate and America’s bodies spilling over the couch as they look at you with shocked faces.

“You what? Wait, wait. You what?”

“Sit your ass down, woman.”

When you finally find a place on the couch, the girls surround you as they sit on their legs. Ears and heads perk as they listen on.

“Okay, initially I wasn’t going to do anything at the party. Just sit and chat with my parents or something, you know. But when I arrived, he’s fucking there, staring at me and he’s just so pretty, right?” They nod. “I try to ignore him because, you know, I’m mad that he’s flirting with me while he’s dating Dot. But he tells me that it was just a misunderstanding and that he ended things with Dot way before; like months ago. So now, I feel bad for ignoring him. So at the end of the night, everyone left, Mama and Papa were leaving and I offered to stay to clean up.”

“But why?” Kate’s head tilts as she asks.

A simple shrug is how you answer her but you also give her a brief explanation. “Felt bad, to be honest.” The girl nods, letting you continue your story. “We’re cleaning and when we finished, I ask him about Dot. Asked him where he met her. He tells me at Joe’s and that’s where we usually went for our lunch dates after he picks me up from school. He then mentions that one time where we went to Joes after he liked fucked me in his car.”

A gasp leaves both girls, interrupting your story. But you giggle at their reaction, giving them a moment to comment. “Y/n was a naughty teenager!” The feeling of Kate’s fingers tickling your sides makes you giggle and slap away her hand, trying to give her a scowl but it turns into a laugh instead. Eventually she stops, letting you continue.

“Anyways, he starts telling me in full fucking detail about the car sex while his finger is touching my leg. He eventually ate me out on the counter and like teased me like an asshole. We screwed and fuck, does it feel good. I know I shouldn’t be sleeping with my ex—”

“Actually, I don’t see anything wrong here.”

America’s words takes you and Kate by surprise. The two of you look at her and she raises her hands in surrender.

“No, listen. I’m just saying, yeah, some shit happened in the past. But there’s clearly still something there after four years. People change, James clearly changed. He’s more honest with you and honestly, if you give him a chance, this could work out really well.”

And just as you were about to speak up on your opinion, your phone vibrates in your hand. A phone call. You look at the contact and it’s Bucky. Your eyes widen at the name and Kate and America take a look.

“Well? Answer it!”

So you swipe to answer the call, the phone up to your ear and you speak lowly into the speaker.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Y/n.”

“Hi, Bucky. What’re you calling for?”

“You forgot your wallet in my room. Do you want me to come and drop it off or do you want to pick it up?”

You feel Kate’s hands slapping your arm, looking back at her as if she’s insane. She looks at you with a questioning face.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll come and get it. Thank you. Goodbye.”

The phone call ends and the two girls look at you for an answer. You sigh, putting your phone down on the couch. “So, who wants to drive me to Bucky’s because my dumbass forgot my wallet?”

—

Kate drives through the traffic in the Brooklyn Bridge, the connection through the city to Bucky and yours neighbourhood in Brooklyn Heights. While America sits in the back, her head peaks through the two front seats as she looks up the window.

Eventually, when you near your street you hear a gasp from the back. “Y/n! I didn’t know you lived here! Holy shit.”

“Bucky lives here. Not me.”

“Yeah but you grew up here. You rich ass.”

When the car arrives to Bucky’s home, the two girls look in awe at the area. Although, Kate is familiar with the luxurious life, she doesn’t like to live in her Daddy’s money. As so did you.

“Okay, folks, stay here and I’ll be back.”

They nod, not even bothering answering you as they oogling the architecture of the buildings down. You have to laugh at them, seeing how childlike your best friends behaviour are. Although those thoughts are gone when you walk up to Bucky’s door, you take a good look at his front door and think about America’s words.

Then it surprises you as the door swings open, revealing Bucky in the same state as you left. Wearing the same black fitting shirt, paired with his signature grey sweatpants. He smiles at you, his stubble littered cheeks painted with a small blush of pink. “Hey, come in.”

You would but you can’t as your two friends in the car sneak in your mind. “Sorry, friends are waiting in the car.” Bucky subtly looks over you shoulder, his smile widening as he sees what your friends are truly doing.

“I don’t think they’ll mind if you’re gone for a few minutes.” He chuckles, returning his attention back to you. His expression makes you worry, your head snapping back to Kate and America. They’re out of the car, looking around the area like two clueless bafoons. So Bucky steps aside, opening the door as a signal for you to enter and taking one good look at him, you step in.

You never really realized it until now. America was right. Bucky does live quite a luxurious life in his [home](https://thenordroom.tumblr.com/post/151867085978/modern-black-and-white-home-in-a-brooklyn). With all white walls, complimented with black furniture and stairs. You realize that his home is quite big. You take a further step in his home, entering the living room as you do so, its modern with hints of plant life here and there. But a familiar voice snaps you back to life, your body turning to the sound.

“How’s post-graduate life doing for you?”

Behind you, Rebecca stands and she has a smile on her face. But you can sense the tension from it.

“Oh, hi. It’s been great. Already got some job openings waiting for me.” You stand there, unaware of the glare that Rebecca is sending you. But you send her a smile anyways as Bucky returns with your purse, his appearance always seemingly shocking you.

“Here you go.” He smiles at you and you have to physically restraint yourself from kissing him again. Before you can say anything else, Bucky talks again. “Do you want anything to eat or drink before you leave? I’m sure Kate and America wouldn’t mind as they’re too busy admiring the neighborhood.”

Just like before, people just love to interrupt you.

“Actually, I think Y/n is busy. Isn’t she?” She turns to you, a look on her face that makes you want to hide yourself from embarrassment. “Aren’t you?”

Bucky’s attention turns to you, oblivious to his sister’s death glares and it makes you wonder if Rebecca has always given you those looks before. It also made you wonder if it were because you had slept with her brother. It makes you frown internally because it hurts you. Of course it does. She used to send you the biggest smiles and hugs when she’d see you. Now it had turned bitter.

“Um, yeah. I’m sorry, Bucky. But I should go.” Bucky seems to understand but you definitely don’t miss the slight frown and look of disappointment on his face. So instead, he nods and leads you back into the main hallway. Still clueless to the look Rebecca was giving you.

“Bye, Y/n.”

“Bye, Bucky.”

_Okay, what the fuck._


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the reader and bucky find themselves in a moment of vulnerability with each other through unusual moments

It was suppose to be just one drink. One drink with Bucky to ease his conscience about the whole situation. You agreed. scolding him for just one drink. But deep inside, the two of you knew there was no such thing as one.

Although you hated going out to bars, especially anywhere near the centre of Manhattan, or anywhere with Bucky at the moment, it was better than him bringing you back home. Where his sister might be. You never realized it until yesterday’s events at his home. The glaring look that Rebecca gave you, sent chills to your spine. You’ve never seen her look at you like that. It was so odd.

Kate and America also warned you that there was no such thing about one drinks with your ex when you had told them Bucky wanted to go out. But they had wished you a. good luck anyways. With both the girls slipping in a packet of condoms like the teenagers they are.

You hadn’t worn anything to provocative. To ensure that nothing would happen between the two of you. Even though you fully knew that even if it did something happen, it wouldn’t be because of what you wore. You had simply worn a sweater with some tight jeans, nothing too out of the ordinary. You looked casual. As if to meet up with a friend.

When you had arrived at the bar, it was near to full. Even despite that, you were still able to catch Bucky in the crowded space. Wearing a distressed jean jacket over his shirt. His hair, god, it’s always his hair. It looks perfect. But beside him is a woman, talking to him with a smile on her pale face. You feel your heart sink a little but you muster up some courage to talk to him.

He seems oblivious to your figure as you stride over him. It’s only then when you speak that he turns to see you, an unamused look on your face. “I see you’re already having fun without me.” The smile on his face doesn’t fall but it widens.

You catch a glimpse of the woman he was talking to behind him, she seems annoyed that her conversation with a very handsome man was interrupted. “Y/n, you’ve made it.”

Smiling, you nod. Although the woman doesn’t seem very happy and chooses to interrupt as you did with her. Her voice booms through the conversation and catches both yours and Bucky’s attention.

“Aren’t you a little too young to be drinking?”

“I mean, the law tells me otherwise.”

She scoffs, chugging down her drink and walks off. Not even looking back to the very handsome man she was talking to. “Sorry about her. She came over and—”

“It’s okay. She’s not here anymore.” Taking a seat beside him, you order a drink from the bartender. One sex on the beach and it makes Bucky smile.

“Sex on the beach, huh?”

It makes your lips twitch at how sensual he says those words to you. When you finally get your drink, you take a sip and turn to him. Your eyes looking down at his own drink, scotch.

“You’re still drinking that shit?”

Your foul words makes his chuckle and take a sip in front of you. As if to tease you of your own words.

“Darling, it’s an adult drink. Something you might not understand but that’s—”

A subtle kick to his chair gets him to stop talking, but it’s all fun and games and you can tell by how he’s smiling back at you. Red lips turned upwards as the glass nears his mouth again.

“For your information, my drink is nice too. You’re just afraid of demasculinizing yourself over a drink.” You say confidently. Bucky’s lip turn into a smirk, the same one that led you into his bed.

“Then why don’t you try my drink, sweetheart? Let’s see which is better.”

“No, no. I don’t plan on going over our one drink rule.”

He arks a brow at you. “One drink rule, huh? The hell is that anyways?” Giggling at his expression, you hide your red cheeks as you sip on your drink. Eyes looking into the bottom of your glass as the red substance swirls around.

“Well, it’s literally where I don’t go beyond one drink because we know where that leads us.” Once you look back up, he seems to be staring right back at you. A smirk present on his face and your face turns warm.

“Enlighten me, Peach. Where does it lead us?” The use of an old nickname sends overdrive to your sense. Suddenly, you’re taken back four years ago, in his bed room as he rams into you. A secret affair taken place every other night.

The use of the nickname takes you back, making you stutter over your own words. Blush creeping up on warm cheeks, Bucky definitely knew what he was doing. Just as you were about to open your mouth, a duo of girls step forward.

They looked young, perhaps too young to be in a bar. The brunette stood behind the blonde, pushing her towards Bucky and you can faintly hear her whisper. “Hi.” The blonde speaks up, she seems a little embarrassed or confused. Perhaps drunk, even.

You catch Bucky’s eyes look over at you, as if to ask for your permission to talk to the girl. But that’s none of your business to control, so you shrug. “Hey.” Bucky returns, placing his glass back onto the counter.

As much as your attention is focused to the blonde, you damn know that the person who truly wants to talk to Bucky is the brunette behind her. She’s nibbling on her bottom lip as she stands meekly behind her friend, a black mini dress hugging her petite body and suddenly you feel insecure. “Noticed you from across the room and - uh - thought you were really pretty.” She cringes at her own words. “I mean, handsome. Anyways, I’m Caroline and behind me is Lily,” she points over to her brunette friend. “And she was wondering if she could get y’number?”

You watch as Bucky’s lips twitch in to a smile. He knows you’re watching, so he finds it more enjoyable for the outcome of this scenario. “Sorry, girls.” He emphasizes his words, slightly tilting his head and he makes eye contact with the brunette who forced her friend to get the man’s number. “But my number is already taken by her.” Bucky nods his head over to you, your face a little taken back and you freeze.

“Oh, okay. Well, it was worth the try anyways.” With that Bucky waves them off.

But you don’t miss how the brunette‘s lips turn into a frown when her friend tells her Bucky is taken. Her blonde friend drags her back across the room but you definitely don’t miss how she looks over her shoulders to catch Bucky one last time.

“And four years later, you’re still managing to get 19 year olds to sleep with you.”

Bucky chuckles, turning back in his seat towards the bar. He motions at the bartender, asking for another glass and the bartender nods willingly. He turns to you, as he waits. “Except the 19 year old is now 23 and all grown up.” He smiles and you have to roll your eyes at him. “Hey, c’mon. We had fun, didn’t we?”

Your eyes meet him, there’s sincerity in them. Ones that you feel comfort by looking. Perhaps it’s your past with him or the feelings buried in you, but either way, you get that sense of relief when you’re with him. “Yeah, we did.” You pause for a moment, deciding if you should say what you’re about to say. “But, sadly, it was short lived.”

The air in the room tenses, a topic you’ve been both trying to avoid has made its way into a conversation. It was going to come up one way or another, and it was best to get it over. “It was wasn’t it?” Nodding, the stare between the two of you linger. That is, until Bucky speaks up, breaking the silence. “That night. I meant it what I said. You were never just a quick fuck. I was just scared. I really am sorry for what I did. It was selfish and I shouldn’t have acted on it.”

Nodding, you understand his fear because you’ve experienced it as well. “I know you are, Bucky. I’ve forgiven you already, don’t forget that. I was afraid too, you know. I really hated myself for falling in love with you because I knew I was going to get hurt. You were my first love and despite everything that happened, I don’t regret anything. Yeah, it didn’t turn out how I thought it was going to but there’s nothing I can do about it now.”

When you look at him, he looks a little taken back by your words. You feel fear again that your words might’ve scared him off. “I was your first love?” Unable to speak with your words, you nod instead. A smile erupts on his face, one that makes you blush. But you watch him lean in closer, and suddenly his lips are pressed against yours.

It’s an out of this world experience kissing Bucky Barnes. It’s filled with pent up passion, softness of the clouds in heaven and it feels divine. But the way he holds your face in the palm of his hands feels delicate, as if fragility seeped into his skin. It’s only then when the lack of air and realization of being out in the public has you pulling away from each other.

With red lips and cheeks, you look at each other with hazy eyes. You finally avert your eyes and search deep into your purse, looking for dollar bill to pay for your drink. When you finally find it, you place it onto the counter. Hoping off your seat, you lean over to Bucky. “Let’s get outta here.” Your hand intertwined with his, you lead him out of the bar through the back exit.

Once the door swings open, you push Bucky out and towards the back alley and onto a brick wall. His large figure pressed up against the coldness of the wall, you slam your mouth on to his own before he can even speak up. Your tongue swiping over his bottom lip, asking for entrance; he gives it to you.

It’s a full minute of tongues playing and muffled moans before you pull away. His hands find comfort by cupping your face, blue stormy eyes looking down at you. His sudden actions makes you gasps as he switches positions with you. This time, you’re pressed up against cold brick. “Fuck, Y/n. You have no fucking clue what you do to me.”

Fingers dance around the collar of his jean jacket, feeling the softness of the fur around it and you smile back up at him. “Yeah?” Your voice goes an octave higher, an effort to tease him. His fingers under your chin, gripping as he stares back at you with grey eyes. “Y’gonna fuck me, daddy?” His pupils dilate, a clear indication of what’s going to happen next.

“Y’making me wanna fuck you senseless against this fucking wall, babydoll.” His newfound nickname makes you smirk at him and it’s just feeding the fire in his even more.

“Then do it, daddy.”

“I’m not playing.”

“Neither am I.”

You can already feel Bucky’s hands touch you through your jeans, you knew you should’ve work something more convenient. Something that you could slip off easily. Taking the jeans off would be a difficulty, one that could lead you to getting caught. Bucky thought so as well and stopped his actions. You let out a whine but he’s not having it.

“Not here. I don’t want anyone seeing you naked.”

You smile at his words, your teeth showing as you look up at him. Although, he doesn’t seem to be looking at you as he’s looking around for which is the safer route to his car. Instead, you stepped on your tippy toes and plant a kiss on his stubbled cheek.

“C’mon.” Holding your hand, he leads you out of the back alley of the bar. His car had been parked down the street, a black Mercedes sitting all alone. While walking, he could hear you humming a tune to yourself. A song that he’s unfamiliar of and so he asks. “What song is that?”

“It’s by Taylor Swift.”

“Oh, Becca went to a concert of hers once.”

For once, after everything that has happened, you feel some sort of normality. If anyone else had seen the two of you, it would look like you would be dating.

“Bucky,” You call his name, stopping as you get to his car. You pause, looking for the right words to say, but you can’t find them and instead search for the comfort of his lips. Small hands cupping his large face and you pull him down to kiss him. It takes Bucky back and he stumbles on the curb, thankfully he has his car to hold on to as you kiss him with passion. “Fuck me. I can’t wait.” It’s a mumble against his mouth but he stills manage to understand. “Take me home.”

—

Your body hits his bedroom door, hard and violent and you feel slight pain. But it’s not enough to rip your mouth away from his. You’ve been waiting too long. The ride back home had keep you too long and you weren’t wasting anymore time.

As you jump into his arms, legs wrapped around his waist and you feel the light squeeze on your ass. He walks you over to his bed, letting you go and dropping you down on to his king size bed. A slight bounce but you manage to stabilize yourself.

You watch as Bucky towers over you, his jean jacket already thrown to the other side of his room. His shirt is to go next, showcasing off his tanned body and you can drool at the abs and the tattoo sleeve he has on his left arm. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before but after being denied of that for four years, it’s a nice refresher.

“Off.” He motions to your jeans and with trembling fingers, you unbutton and unzip. He helps you with removing the tight jeans, revealing a black lacey underwear underneath. Thank god you chose to wear the black ones that Kate suggested. Although, you thought it was lucrative, it did come in handy.

You assumed Kate and America were probably at home betting that you’d get laid tonight. You heard them talk about it while you got out of the shower. They weren’t wrong. You knew whatever you did, it was always going to end in sex with Bucky.

You feel the wetness and softness of his lips pressing onto your inner thigh. As he softly nibbles on your skin, you let out a whimper that eagers him on. “Don’t do that, please. No teasing.”

Chuckling, he stands up from where he’s from. But he has a finger under the waistband of your underwear, with a calculated pull, he rips the lace off your body. “Bucky! Hey!”

“I’ll make it up to you, Peach. Don’t worry.”

You look at him suspiciously, your body propped up on your shoulder as you look up at him. “Oh, yeah? When would that be, Mr. Barnes?”

“Right now.” He smiles at you, eyes twinkling with some sort of shine. He pulls away for a moment, only to return back to you. His face hovering over yours, his nose practically ghosting over the tip of your own. A giggling escapes your lips as he wiggles his nose against yours. His eyes bore into yours, it feels intimate, as if you’ve spent years with Bucky.

“God, you’re lucky you’re cute.”

“Oh, am I now? How’s that?”

Before Bucky can even open his mouth, a ring booms through the large bedroom. It takes you by surprise and you groan at the irritating sound. “Let it ring.” Bucky says, his head ducking down to your neck, lips latching onto supple skin. And as much as you enjoy, whatever this is, the ringing worries you.

“It could be important.” You give him a peck on his cheek before slipping out from under him. You hear his sigh and he plops down his bed, laying down as he watches you reach for your purse. You can feel the buzzing from the depths of your bag, it’s only then you feel it when you find your phone.

The contact reads a number that you’re not familiar with. But you’re still curious as to who it is. So you answer it, with the phone against your ear. “Hello?”

“Hi, is this Y/n Y/l/n?”

Then you feel Bucky’s stubble against your neck. You smile at the sensation but you give him a look. “Uh, yes, it is. Who’s this?”

“Sorry to call so late,” It’s only like 7 in the evening. “But it’s Marge Thatcher from The Chapin School. I was just calling in to inform you that you got the position for the counsler.”

Your mouth drops, a hand over it as you take in the information. “Oh my god, really? Thank you so much.” Bucky pauses for a moment, his chin laying on your shoulder.

“My pleasure, I’ll see you Monday. Have a goodnight, Y/n.”

The phone call ends and suddenly you’re frozen. Bucky watches your state and concern takes over. “I got the job. Oh my god, I got the job!” Turning over to Bucky, he looks at you with a smile. You jump from the bed, standing up with no pants on. “Holy shit, I got the job.”

But you catch him staring at you from the comfort of his bed. “You got the job.” Your smile widens and as you straddle Bucky’s lap, you sweep the curly hair that fell in front of his face. 

“I got the job.” A small but sudden thrust against his crotch makes you gasp. Though, he smiles back at you and the hands on your hips guide you through your actions.

You feel the bulge press against your clothed center, making you sway your hips even more. Moans spilling as you hide your face into the crook of Bucky’s neck. “Baby, I’m so proud of you.” He whisper in your ear, making you smile. You pull back, looking at him, hands on his cheeks.

“Really?” A moan slips out, making your eyes close in ecstasy. “Oh, fuck.”

“Of course, I knew you’d get in. You deserve it.”

You answer him with a whimper and a faster rhythm of your hips. Moving back and forth faster than you’ve done before. Bucky is close, he can feel it and by the looks of it. You’re near too.

“It’s okay, baby. Just let go.” With a few more thrust, you feel yourself let go as just he said. Your face pinched and body shaking. With that, your body collapses against Bucky’s, you feel so exhausted yet so fueled. You’ve gotten the job you want and you have Bucky with you, the perfect night you could ever have. There’s no place else in the world you’d rather be at.

“I miss you.” It’s a whisper to Bucky’s ear, a confession that takes him totally back. “I’ve missed you so much. Thank you.” Your stare lingers on for a little too long. But Bucky doesn’t mind, he finds smal hints of faded freckles on your cheeks. The way he finds how the light brightens your eyes. It makes him realize how truly he’s felt about you. “You okay?”

He nods, not letting his words answer for him because he knew he would say something more than a reassurance. “Hey, you got food in the kitchen? I can make a little dinner for us. The alcohol isn’t sitting well with an empty stomach.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Well, I know how to make really good gnocchi.”

He smiles at you, hands intertwined with your own. He presses a quick kiss to your cheek before gently removing you off his lap. “Let’s get change first, then let’s make your world renounced gnocchi.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the reader tries to understand her true feelings for bucky.

When you had made dinner for Bucky and ate with him, you knew there was something more going on. You knew America was right and perhaps he had changed. You believed in Bucky. Trust? You were nearly there. His own actions fought for it and it nearly slipped.

Though, your thoughts kept you up at night when you had chosen to sleep at his place. After hours of endless celebrations in the form of sex, you were still awake naked in the comfort of his sheets. With Bucky passed out beside you, his bare back faces you and you can see the freckles on his skin. You had placed a few kisses only to return back to your thoughts.

It was when the clock had turned to 4 AM when you had began to wonder the true nature of your relationship with Bucky. After all, last night was technically your first date. Minus the first time you’ve slept with him after his birthday party.

Yes, you were sure there were still feelings there and that he was not just a quick fuck or the outcome of your teenage hormones. He was your first love, that sticks with you. And clearly, it did. Because even after four years of no communication, you always end up back to him.

Although, despite that first love bull crap, you wondered if Bucky has feelings for you. You had believed him when he had apologized. You also meant it when you know he’s a changed person. But with that, comes with the truth. The truth that, yes, Bucky may have changed as a person, all in all that’s good but what if his feelings for you had changed as well?

But your mind tries to comfort you. Reassuring you that even if Bucky’s feelings didn’t reciprocate your own, he wouldn’t lead you on this far. He wouldn’t have had sex with you more than once. You couldn’t see Bucky as a man who has one night stands on the usual, but it’d be rare. He’s a kind man with kind intentions and even if they don’t go the way he thought they would, he’s still very selfless. He always puts others before him.

You knew that, of course. Just a little scared for the outcome.

As the time neared 6, you concluded to sneak out as you didn’t know what to do with Bucky. Yes, you would love to stay, but you didn’t want him to get the idea that the casual sex and occasionally making dinner was your thing now. No, you would have to give him a definitive answer about your relationship with him. So as you snuck out of his bed and changed, you wrote him a note for when he wakes up.

> **_I had fun last night. Thanks for the support when I got the job. But I’ll have to call you back, after all, you still need to make up for ruining my undies. But really, thank you. - Y/n_ **

You had looked over your shoulders as you finished the note, his sleeping figure making your chest hurt. You couldn’t help but want to stay and cuddle with him. But you had a home to go back to and friends who are probably dying to know the details of your sex life.

Leaning over, you press a kiss to his forehead. Your fingers sweeping the fallen tendrils of curls on his face. His nose and cheeks are red, eyes closed and eyelashes sitting softly on his cheeks. He looks peaceful. You couldn’t help but giggly quietly to yourself as his mouth was slightly parted. Soft snores coming out. You really didn’t want to leave but you honestly neeeded to collect your thoughts. Plus, you did not want to be home when Rebecca comes back. Her judgment was too much for one day.

But you had been dropped off at the bar in the East Village by Kate and been brought back to Brooklyn by Bucky. You didn’t bring a car and had to take the train back home. Which was unfortunate, seeing that you had no undies on underneath your pants. But luckily for you, wearing pants had been a good idea after all.

The train back home wasn’t too bad. Even though you lived upper in the city and near East Harlem, the train isn’t usually too bad of a ride if you were having a good day. Which you were. Throughout the half an hour ride, you got to reflect on your thoughts about the whole situation with Bucky. But it was nearly 7, meaning that Bucky would be awake and prepare for breakfast. His usual, a green smoothie, fruits with oatmeal. Then at 8, he’d be out for a quick morning run. By 9:45, he’s out by the door to go to work.

By this time, you waited for his call or text. By 7:05, you were right and your phone rang in your purse. Passengers on the train didn’t even bat an eye as your ringtone boomed through the air. When you pulled out your phone, his contact shows up.

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

His voice is rough, just as it were always when he woke up. You smile at the sound, wishing that you were there to hear it in person.

“You on the train?”

“Yes, I am.”

“I could’ve driven you, Y/n. I wouldn’t have mind.”

You giggle at his words, even thought it weren’t the appropriate but you couldn’t help it. “You were sleeping, Buck. It would’ve been rude.” You hear him sigh, then there’s a creak indicating that he just sat up.

“Still, I would’ve driven you. Better than taking the train without underwear, seeing that I ripped it off last night.” Oh, the way you can totally tell the smirk on his fucking face. But who were you to say, you were grinning yourself. He totally also heard the small gasp that left your mouth. You can hear him chuckle.

“Wipe that smirk off your face, Barnes. I don’t need you talking about those things early in the morning.”

“Darling, I wouldn’t have to if you had just stayed in bed with me.”

“Whatever, Bucky. I’ll call you soon. Bye.”

The phone call ends and it leaves you with a gigantic smile on your face.

—

Fingers rake through your hair and you slightly pull on the roots. You’ve been trying to eat lunch but the silence is too loud in your home and it’s making your thoughts flood your head. It’s usually not like this as you’re out for work just like the girls but you had quit your recent job for the new one that you just got last night. So you’re left alone in your thoughts.

When you had explained to the girls what had happened. Questions had been flown to your face. All which you answered expect for one.

“Do you still love him?”

It was America who had asked the question. You knew she was rooting for the two of you. So your shrug didn’t do much for her. But they gave you a look, one that you knew far too well. They gave the same one when you had decided to break up with Wanda.

You had been thinking about it. The same question almost popped up in the train. You had almost asked yourself the same question, obviously afraid of your own answer.

But after last night’s events, you couldn’t restrain your own feelings. You wanted to experience every single milestone in your life with Bucky and celebrate it every single time like the way you had done last night. You wanted to feel safe with Bucky. You wanted that sense of comfort and euphoria when you’re with him. The unstoppable smile that appears on your face whenever you see him.

You wanted that. But with him.

So when your thoughts become too much and there’s no one to talk them about, an idea pops up in your head. She’s a friend, a good one. Even with the history there, she’s kind and she’s supportive. Plus, you really didn’t want to bother Kate and America.

And as you dial her number, the phone rings. It’s does for a while before she picks up. “Hello?” Her voice is soothing and it’s nice to hear after a while of no communication. But she understands as she knows you were near to graduating.

“Hey, Wanda.”

“Oh, Y/n! Oh my god, it’s been a while. How are you?”

You chuckle into the phone. It’s a nervous one and you know she can tell. “Hey, it’s been great. I got my first job as a counseler at an all girls school. I start Monday.”

“Oh, wow. That’s awesome. I’m so proud of you. You’ve come so far.”

“Thank you.” There’s a pause after your greeting. A moment for you to decide what you should say. “Um… Actually, there’s something I want to talk to you about.”

You hear some rustling in the back. The paper work her boss Tony Stark gives her. She’s at the same firm Bucky works at, but she doesn’t know that. “Yeah, sure. What is it?”

“Uh - So… Remember my ex. We recently got back together. Well, not really. But we’ve been kind of seeing each other actually. Two out of the three, we’ve slept together. But that doesn’t matter. Anyways, I was just confused about everything.”

“Oh?” There’s some sort of offence in Wanda’s tone but it’s not too much that you can obviously tell. “Confused about what?”

You shrug, as if she is able to see it. “About everything. Everytime I see him, I feel like the girl I was four years ago. He makes me feel good and not just through sex. He makes me feel comfortable and like I belong. If that makes sense.” There’s a hum that escapes from her. “But he hurt me. Im not afraid of him doing it again because I believe and I trust him. It’s just, what if not only has he changed but his feelings too?”

“Well, I don’t know who this person may be. But, the human mind is a complex thing, darling. Feelings change, you’re right. But they linger, they never really disappear. And if there’s a lingering feeling deep inside of him, I think he’s listening to that feeling whether he knows it or not.”

You nibble on your lip. Maybe Wanda was right. He had showed up to your party. If somewhere deep inside him changed the way he felt about you, Bucky would’ve made it clear.

“Can I ask what’s your ex’s name is?”

“Uh - It’s … His name is James.”

You hear her hum again and it makes your heart race. Thinking that she may catch on to the fact that the Bucky she works with is the James you’ve been seeing.

“Oh, cool. I’ve got a colleague with the name James. Though, he’s not as interesting as your James.”

You laugh, nervously and you hope she can’t tell.

“I hope James is worth it, though. Whatever happened between you. I hope you’ve worked it out.”

“Honestly, me too.”

When the phone finally ends. You’re met back with the silence. The thoughts flood your head and you have to come up with a decision. You think of Wanda’s opinion. Then you think of America’s.

It’s not uncommon that exes get back together. Whether if it’s for the right reason or the wrong one. You want to be with Bucky. Even if you’re afraid. You trust him. He’s earned your trust and honestly? Last nights events couldn’t be any better. It was perfect. And you didn’t even need the one drink rule because either way, there’s no one else who you would rather spend the night with.

But you couldn’t help but think what would’ve happened if you hadn’t left that one fateful morning four years ago. If you hadn’t told him it was over and you couldn’t bear the pain he caused. Or if he had never slept with his ex-wife. You imagine that the two of you go home, you kiss him, tell him how much you’ve missed him over the course of the three weeks. Perhaps, the two of you have breakfast with Rebecca. Stayed a little longer than you intended. Then he’d walk you home. Pick you up later in the afternoon from your class.

Whether you would’ve stayed or not. He still came back. He stayed from where he stood, waiting for your arrival. So with decision that your heart made for you, your fingers tap across the screen. Words forming under your touch and with a press of one simple button, you make your decision.

**We need to talk.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which | bucky comes to the conclusion.

Bucky should’ve known you weren’t going to stay in the morning. He doesn’t know why you didn’t but he doesn’t push that button and he lets you go home. After the night he had with you, the amazing dinner and mind blowing sex you had was enough. Though, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want more.

Bucky has always wanted more than sex and small talks at family gatherings. He wants the full run. After everything that had happened with Natasha, he honestly didn’t think he could experience that true feeling of love again. Until he spent that night with you in the pool. When he spent his night for the first time with you.

Even with after everything that happened, the day you left, the way you cried and told him it was over. He knew he tried to get over you but it genuinely hopeless. The women he went on dates proved him right as they never brought the same spark you had give him. It was weird, if he were being honest. He thought he’d find someone he’d love whos much older and his age. Not a girl who’s 17 years younger than him. It was a little unorthodox. He had found love in the most unusual situation but he had let it slip. Luckily, fate had faith in him 

Rebecca even tried to set him up on dates. She claims that he needs to find someone better than you. Someone who doesn’t leave him. He doesn’t really know why she speaks so poorly of you. He remembers how the two of you were once close friends. Best friends. Rebecca used to ask him all the time if he could have a sleep over. It saddens him how bitter she had turned towards you.

But he tried to forget all of that as he returns to his daily routine. Although, he doesn’t miss a beat to call you first in order to check up on you. When he learns that you’ve taken the subway to get home, it makes him frown as you didn’t bother coming to him so he could drive you. After last night’s activity, he should’ve at least driven you home safely.

So he sits by his desk, looking through the finished cases he had. Filing and signing them as he usually does. Every now and then, Wanda, who used to be his paralegal, is now his junior lawyer, comes in to either hand him cases or paperwork. If he’s being honest, he never knew about Wanda until he saw you with her that night. Perhaps it’s the jealousy, but sometimes he couldn’t help but think what had been your relationship like with her? Was the sex as good? Or was she just another distraction for you?

He couldn’t help but honestly feel insecure at sometimes. He tries to push the thought away, working them away and thinking of you instead.

He ponders on the thought of this relationship, or whatever it is. Seeing that the two of you have spent two nights together already. One of them including dinner at his place. Hes not gonna lie, he enjoyed the sex, but he wants more than that. He wants what happened last night. The dinner, the comfortable silence in the air as the two of you ate together in peace. As if four years had not gone by. And for once, after everything that has happened between them, he senses normality and it’s comforting to feel that they’re stepping in the right direction. One of them just needs a little push.

But his thoughts are cut short as a knock booms through the room. His head snaps back up to look at who’s knocking at his door. It’s Sam and he wonders for a second why this man has come to bother him while he works. But he looks at his watch, the time nearing lunch and it means it’s his break. “You coming for lunch or what?” He peaks his head through the door.

Sighing, he places the piles of paper off his lap and into his desk instead. “Yeah, I’m coming.” As he stands up from his desk, he swings his jacket on and heads out with Sam.

—

Lunch takes place as usual at the cafe down the street from their firm. Bucky orders his usual, the blonde waitress knows his order too well and brings it on a regular. Sam also brings up on the regular the topic of asking the young blonde woman out. Bucky always puts his idea down knowing damn well he only has eyes for you, so he has to be discreet about his reasons.

“Here’s your black coffee and your scone. Enjoy.” The blonde places his food down in front of him, smiling at him with her red lips down at Bucky in effort to flirt. But he never really pays mind to her as he greets her a thank you.

He looks back down to his food but he catches Sam looking at him with a scowl. “What?” He sighs, putting down his scone to converse in another arguement.

“Are you fucking blind or do you purposely ignore her flirting?”

Bucky rolls his eyes. Not this shit again. So he tries to tell his friend that he’s not currently looking. “I’m not looking for anyone right now.” It’s because he found you already. Sam raises his suspicion. He knows his best friend well, even though sometimes Bucky can get a little confusing, he knows him. He also knows how happier he’d been this week. Less irritated in the mornings. Sam knows this behaviour all too well. It’s a girl. He experienced it when it was about Natasha. So he pushes his theory.

“Why? You’ve been seeing someone already?” He watches his friend’s reaction, the subtle flicker of his eyes and the twitch of the lips.

Bucky takes a moment. An idea pops into his head because he has no one else he trust to talk to about this sort of it. It’s a crazy idea, he knows. But it’s Sam who he’s talking to. So who better than his own best friend. “Actually…”

“Ah! There is a woman. Is she pretty?” Before Sam can even shoot his questions at him, he stops him with a raise of his hand.

“Listen. Technically, we’re not dating. But we’ve been sleeping together.” Sam’s mouth opens to talk again but Bucky persists. “We’ve known each other a while. I like her. A lot, actually. But I don’t know how to properly tell her that without getting scared.”

He pauses, silence talking over so Sam has the chance to speak. “Scared of what?” His friend asks and he thinks of his answer. Well, he’s scared of a lot of thing. Perhaps it’s commitment. After all, his ex-wife didn’t seem too committed in their marriage as she chose her own future rather than theirs. Or maybe, it’s the fear of rejection. That day you left, telling him that he didn’t want to be with you anymore. Although he knew he was in the wrong, it still hurt him to hear those words.

So he shrugs as his answer.

Sam watches his friend, sensing the seriousness of of the situation. Perhaps his best friend may be serious about this girl. Whoever she is, this is the first time he’s seen him like this since Natasha. So he gives the best advice he has.

“Well, if you’re serious about this girl—”

“That’s the thing, Sam. I’m in love with her. I have been since we drifted apart and I thought I was able to get over it but I haven’t nor I think I will.”

His friends words takes him back. It doesn’t surprise Sam but it does prove his theory right. He’s really thankful for a friendship like this with Bucky because it means that his friend trusts him enough to tell him things like this. “But you haven’t been in love with someone since Natasha.”

“I know. But this girl. She makes me want to be a better version of myself. Not just for her but for me, you know? I’ve tried to forget about her when she left but I just couldn’t. And when he saw each other again, there was that same feeling again. Like nothing has ever changed.”

Sam sighs, rubbing his face and he looks at his friend sincerely. “Honestly? Life is short. Don’t let fear stop you from telling her how you truly feel. Instead, use it to motivate you to go forward because anything can happen. I’ve learned that the hard way with Maria. We were too afraid that our marriage wouldn’t work out that we didn’t talk things through and we actually just ruined our marriage.”

Bucky groans. his eyes flickering down to his black coffee and he smells the familiar aroma. “God, it feels like college all over again.”

Sam laughs, taking a sip of his own drink. “Why don’t you do it now? Ask her to talk after work.” Bucky thinks for a moment and ponders. He should talk to her. The sooner the better because he knows he doesn’t want to lead her further on. So decides and agrees with Sam. His hand clutching his phone ready to click it open. But it buzzes before he could even do that. And it turns out someone beat it to him.

**We need to talk.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which true feelings are revealed, but will it be enough to heal the pain they endured?

**We need to talk.**

The text had been sent five minutes ago. It’s still yet to be read and you’re dreading when that happens. You sit back on your bed, looking up at ceiling and analyze the pattern. You try to think of what to say when he does reply. What do you even say? Hey, I still love you, want to take me back? So as the seconds go by, you ponder on the future conversation and how it can possibly go. The fear is starting to creep it’s way in and it starts playing with your doubts. What if he doesn’t want to talk? What if you were wrong and all he wanted was just sex? You couldn’t help but think of the worst and it frustrates you to the point where you yell into your pillow. But you feel a buzz beside your leg. Your head snaps up and your hand snatches the phone.

**I think so too. My place or yours?**

The loud sigh you let out makes nearly half of your worries go away. Although, some of it lingers as you remind yourself it’s not over yet.

**Yours. I don’t want Kate and America bothering us.**

**I agree. Pick you up at 6?**

**Don’t worry about it. Kate will drop me off.**

As fast as it goes, you remind yourself that you’re just going to his place to talk. Keep your lust at bay and keep it caged. This is serious as it determines whether you may or may not have a relationship with the man you’ve fallen in love years ago. So you follow to your rules of no alcohol as it worsens the situation.

Now, you sit back as you dread the six hour wait.

—

With only half an hour to spare, you smack on your lip balm and make yourself presentable. The sweater and skinny jeans you wore made you look casual. Nothing sexy or promiscuous that could lead to something more than a talk. Though, it’s not what you wear that leads you into situations. You stood in front of your mirror, looking down at your figure and though at most times you’d probably be filled with insecure thoughts, this time all you can think about is the outcome of tonight.

You haven’t even realized it but you’ve been standing too long. A knock booms through your room and it snaps you out of your trance. “Hey, Y/n, you ready?”

“Yes, I’m coming.” You look at yourself one last night. Pointing at your own reflection. “Don’t fuck it up.” It’s poor pep talk but it’s one that you hope gets imbedded into your mind. You step into the living room and greet America that you’re leaving for the night.

As the two of you make your way into the car, you’re quiet as ever and it worries Kate. But she doesn’t pushes you to speak. Instead she encourages some wise words instead. “You know, if you’re nervous about this. It’s fine. Honestly, I think you guys will work out fine. But if it doesn’t, just one call and I’ll be there.” Softly smiling around her words, you thank her as you look outside the window. The Brooklyn Bridge comes into view and you know you’re close.

Soon, Kate’s car entered Brooklyn Heights, both yours and Bucky’s neighborhood. You nibbled on your lip thanks to the nerves and you feel the car slow down. You haven’t even realized it but you had disassociated and forgotten the fact that you had arrived. “Y/n, we’re here.” A hand comes to your shoulder and suddenly you see Bucky’s home in your view.

“Oh.” You pause for a moment. Then you turn to her with a smile, clearly forced. “Guess I’ll see you later. Bye, Katie” Leaning in for a hug, she accepts it. You’re the first one to pull away and Katie gifts you a reassuring smile.

You watch her from the steps of Bucky’s stairs as she drives away, a small wave as she starts driving down the street and with that, you’re all alone. You don’t waste any time though as you find yourself already in front of his door. Your fist hitting the oak wood of his door with a familiar beat. Waiting for a few seconds, you’re able to see his figure cover the light that spills into the gap of the door.

With a blink of an eye, the door swings open, revealing Bucky. A black shirt hugging his chest so perfectly as his grey sweats match perfectly. It takes your breathe away, your eyes raking down his body and you have gulp to surpresss the whimper that wants to leave your body. “Hey, come in.” He steps aside, the door wide open for you to enter.

When you do, you take note of how his home seems the same as always. The way it has its own personal scent makes it nostalgic and familiar. Sweet vanilla entering your nose and you’re brought back to the many times you’ve been here. You shake those old memories off as you’re here to possibly make new ones. That is, if the night goes well.

“Would you like anything to drink? Beer or—”

You cut him off before he can even offer anything else. “Water will be fine. I’m trying not to drink tonight.” He chuckles at that, remembering the one drink rule you had shared with him last night.

As he makes his way into the kitchen, you follow him like a puppy despite the fact that you’ve been at his own a number of times. You make yourself comfortable on the bar stool that’s tucked into the kitchen island. Watching him move around, his arm reaches up into his cupboard for a glass of water. Your eyes wandering to the muscles flexing and veins showing on his beefy arms. God, you’re way too horny for this.

“I know you wanted to talk about some things and so did I.” He turns around, a glass filled with clear fluids and he sets it down in front of you.

“Yeah…” You pause, thinking of what to say to him. You’re reminded of what Wanda told you this afternoon. That for whatever reason, even if he didn’t know it, Bucky could still be harbouring feelings that he doesn’t even know he has. So you go for it because in all honesty, you love Bucky way too much to continue living your life not knowing what could’ve been. “Actually. There’s somethings that should be left unsaid but this isn’t one of them.” You pause again. Breathing out slowly as you prepare for the words.

“I don’t want to leave tonight not knowing if you feel the same or not. Because honestly, I love you too much to not know. And it’s fine if you don’t feel the same because I can always leave. I mean, that’s why they call it first loves, right? Because you never really forget about them. I mean, I was only merely just a teenager back then but I still meant what I said. I know what I want and that’s you. And I’ve been dreading what I truly want since last night because god, last night? I want that. I feel everything when I’m with you. I want to feel safe with you and - and I want to feel happy with you. And I - I just —”

Your whole rambling is cut off when Bucky cups your wet cheeks in the palm of his hands. You hadn’t even realized that you’d been crying but when his thumb swiped off the wetness that sat on your crimson skin, you felt so embarrassed. “Y/n, hey, hey, sweetheart. Look at me.” Your glassy eyes flicker up to see him, a softness to his expression which you haven’t seen in him in a while. “Look at me. Why would you say that?”

“Because I’m scared.” He frowns at your words but he’s not quite sure what you mean.

“Scared of what?”

“That you don’t feel the same because you know, people change and with that so do feelings for people. So technically, it’s not your fault and I can’t blame you but it still hurts.” His face softens and he lets out a small chuckle which makes you pinch your face in offense. He shakes his head apologetically, his hands dropping from your face to intertwine then with your own. “Don’t laugh at me. That’s mean.”

“I’m not, darling. I just think how it’s funny that you think that. Y/n, things can change, that’s correct. After four years, people can change, hell feelings can change and you’re right about that. But mine for you haven’t and I don’t think it ever will.”

“Yeah, but I— Wait, what?” You freeze in your seat. You tilt your head at him, trying to process the words he has just said. “You like me too?”

He shakes his head, your face scrunches and you’re totally confused right now. “No, I love you. There’s a difference.” You’re still confused. “I realized that years ago when you had left to move in the city. I even realize how shitty I felt when you weren’t around. I was scared, honestly, as well. I did what I did because I was scared. I was afraid of what we’ll become. You were still young, Y/n. What I did was absolutely fucking crap, I thought I did it to protect you but instead hurt you. And now, I thought that if I couldn’t forgive myself for what I did to you, then why the hell should you.”

“But I have forgiven you. It was a shitty thing to do. But you’re not that person anymore. That Bucky was afraid because of what could’ve happened. I understand that now and I was young and naive and honestly? It helped me grow and see myself as a person. But Natasha is in the past. I don’t want fear to drive us apart anymore. The first time we saw each other after I graduate. It’s cliche but it felt like nothing has changed. And every time I’m with you, I feel this sense of happiness and that’s all I want.”

A smile curves on his face, his body stepping forward as his figure presses closer to you. While situated in between your legs, he cups your face again, his thumb swiping over your lip and his eyes flicker down. “I love you.” You replicate his own smile. Eyes watering at his words and you feel so small under his gaze. “Baby, no, don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry. They’re happy tears, I swear.” You pull the cuffs of your sweater to wipe the tears from your eyes. But instead, your crying turns to sobs and you’re full on hyperventilating in Bucky’s arms. “I’m fine. I’m just really really happy.” His arms wrap around you, holding on to you tightly as he kisses the top of your head.

Fuck. You feel like a fool. A crying fool.

“It’s alright. You want water?” He asks, you nod your head and you feel him move with you as he reaches for the glass of water. He pulls away and when he takes a look at you, it makes you feel like a complete idiot. You down the water quickly and he sets it back on the counter, his thumb caressing your cheek again and he pulls you in for another hug. “Say, I was going to make us dinner. But now that you’re here with me, wanna show me how to make those gnocchi you made last night?”

You look at him, eyes red and puffy but you put on a smile. “I would love that.”

—

**How’d it go?**

The text is sent to both Bucky and you. Both by your best friends and it makes a smile appear on both of your faces. You catch him smirking to himself in the corner of your eye, his hand still unconsciously rubbing up and down against your leg. “What’re you smiling at, Barnes?” The call of his name makes his head snaps back up at you.

“Sam. What’re you smiling at?”

You throw your phone behind you as you crawl onto Bucky’s lap.

“You.” Your arms are thrown around his neck, while legs straddle his hips. Your lips are turned upwards and you stare at his features. Thanks to the close proximity, you can see the freckles sprinkled across his face.

“You’re staring.”

“Okay and? I haven’t seen you in four years, I think I’ve got a right to.”

He chuckles at your response, giving your hips a gentle squeeze. You respond to that with a kiss to his lips, soft and gentle just like always. You refuse to be the one to pull away from this moment. You want to savour it’s every second. But when your lungs fight for air, you lose and pull back. “I love you.” His red lips twitch up.

“I love you too. But the water is boiling and you have to put in the pasta.” He pecks your lips, patting your hip for you to get up. You roll your eyes at him as you get off to make your way to the kitchen.

As he sits back and watch the rerun of Friends, he feels a phone buzz. His eyes look over and see your phone open. Maybe he shouldn’t have been looking but he sees his name pop up in a text message and he just has to know what people are talking about him. He’s not gonna lie, he thought it’d be something mean like your friends not liking him. But he was surprised with your words.

> **KATE: _How’d it go?_**
> 
> **Y/N: _Really good. We’re making dinner and sitting on the couch like a married couple._**
> 
> **AMERICA: _Awh, look, she already wants to marry Bucky._**
> 
> **Y/N: _Shut up, I’m in love. Let me be._**

“Hey, Buck, are you free tomorrow night?” You walk over to him, catching him with your phone in his hand. Finding your place back onto his lap, you raise a brow at him. “You looking through my phone?”

“Couldn’t help it when you said you were in love with me.” Your eyes widen at his words. _Shit, he read the messages_. They weren’t inappropriate or rude, your friends had just asked about him and you told them what’s on your mind. “Why are you blushing?” He chuckles at the sight before him. He finds it rather adorable if he’s being honest.

“You weren’t suppose to see that! God, it’s so embarrassing. First, I cry and then this.” He smiles softly at you, his finger lifting your chin up to make you look at him.

“Sweetheart, what’s so embarrassing about confessing your love? There’s nothing wrong with that and we’re in this together now. As a matter of fact, I quite enjoy it when you say things like that.”

A hand slips under his shirt, loving how the way his abs tense up due to your touch. They roam up, touching his warm skin and you look at him with innocent eyes. A twinkle in the depths of them and your heart swells up to a size you haven’t felt it before. “Okay.” His eyes fall down to your lips. The sound of Phoebe’s singing in the back is drowned out.

“Okay?”

You tilt your head at him. “Was that a Fault in Our Stars reference?” His face scrunches in confusion and it’s a sight you can’t help but laugh at. “Oh, wow, you’re old.” He pretends a gasp, pinching your hip slightly which elicites a yelp form you. “Let’s see if you enjoy your gnocchi with rat poison.”

With that, you find yourself playing a game of cat and mouse with none other than the person you’re so in love with. The sense of normality returns, but it’s only a matter of time until something goes wrong. As for now, you’re going to savour every moment of this happiness you’re given.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the reader enjoys her new relationship with bucky in more ways than one.

Alone, mostly. He presses you up against a brick wall hidden behind an alley. It’s dangerous but he’s horny and he can’t keep his hands off your body. It clear when it elicits a moan from you when his knee nudges between your legs. “How was work?” It’s a soft whisper beside your ear despite the lack of people in the area. Your hands grip his biceps, head lolling down as you get yourself off on his thigh.

“‘S ‘right. Thankfully it’s my last day before— Oh, shit.” You throw your head back against the brick wall, feeling the hard brick hit agaisnt your head. Your thoughts of answering his questions are washed away a gutted moan thats way too loud for your own liking escapes your mouth. And in an effort to not cause any focus on them, he slaps a hand over your mouth.

And as much as you loved the pleasure you receive out of this, Bucky looked a little left out. You attempt to return the favour as your fingers fiddle with the buckle of his belt. But his free hand stops you, shaking his head with a tsk. “Not here, darling. Don’t want anyone seeing you.” You smile at his words, adoring at how thoughtful he still is even in (not so) intimate times like these.

When he drops down his legs through the warmth between your legs, it makes you realized just how hooked you’re already are to his touch. Your hands reaching his broad chest to slip a hand under jacket in effort to get closer to his skin. He looks at you as a warnhing, one that you clearly won’t listen to as you continue your actions. “I’m warning you, sweetheart.”

Your eyes roll back to defy him, knowing what comes after. “Can we go? Don’t wanna be near this place anymore.” Bucky shakes his head at your whining, forgetting how much you do that when things become inconvenient for you. But he also knows that you do that just to rile him up and he’s not going to lie because it’s definitely working.

As he walks back to his parked car in the garage with you, you don’t miss how some people seem shocked by the way you’re holding Bucky’s hand. Perhaps it’s jealous or disgust, you feel a little insecure at their reaction. “Bucky, people are staring us.” When you inform him, he takes a closer look for himself. He catches one woman look, she’s not too obvious but it’s there as her eyes squint and she has that look of disgust written all over her face.

New Yorkers are not one to be rude as they tend to be too busy to care for something or someone that they won’t probably ever see ever again. But occasionally, there are people who care too much about other people business. Especially a snobby rich Upper East Side woman with her last season Dior bag. “Ignore her. Probably jealous that you’re so gorgeous.” He softly flicks your chin, making you giggle to his touch.

“Or maybe that I have a extremely good looking man wearing a nearly two thousand suit by my arms.” He smiles at your words, snaking an arm around your waist to pull you closer to him as you walk. Your force a smile on your face to cover the obvious discomfort the woman has caused.

The garage seems pretty empty when you had found his car. Luckily for you, it’s empty enough that if you were to moan out Bucky’s name, no one would most likely hear it. As Bucky sits comfortably, he starts his car but you’re quick to twist the keys so the engine roars off. “What’re you doing?”

Before he knows it, your peeling your pants off and crawling over to his side of the car. “Shut up.” Your legs straddling him from his seat but there’s not enough space for you to move as Bucky is a large person. You do what you do whenever your in situations like this; pull the seat back. “Fuck me.” It’s more of a demand, one that Bucky doesn’t seem to mind following it as a smile grows on his face.

He watches you take dominance for a while, analyzing how your fingers hastily fiddle with his belt buckle. Only to grow frustrated when you can’t seem to get it undone. Huffing, you whine at the failed attempt. But Bucky helps you out and unbuckle his belt for you, lifting his hips so you can drag his pants down. “That woman reminded me of how hot my boyfriend is.” You tease him with your words and also with your grinding hips. His cock snuggled in between your wet pussy lips.

“You’re such a fucking tease, Peach.” You open your mouth to say something but it’s cut off as Bucky wraps his hand around your throat. The feral look in his eyes makes it painfully obvious how much your tease has affected him. “What was that?” He chuckles when you answer him with a moan. “Look at my little girl, whining and squirming because she wants daddy’s cock. Isn’t that right?”

As you buck your hips agasint him, he places his free hand on your waist, squeeze you hard to stop your movements. So he’s there, settle between the lips of your cunt and you’re wet, throbbing and begging him to fuck you in the comfort of his car; which you may add is in the public of this empty garage. “You want to be a little tease, my sweet Peach? Well, you’re gonna get a taste of your own fucking medicine.”

He pushes you against the steering wheel, careful not to press the middle of the wheel to not make the car honk. Your back arches and you have a hand placed on his knee for support. There’s no words spoken between the two of you as his fingers slip between the closeness of the two of you, thumb rubbing against a swollen clit through your panties and your head is thrown back with a moan. “Daddy, please.” He mocks your pout, squeezing a little harder on your throat which causes you to gasp softly.

He loosens his grip, afraid of actually hurting you. “Please, what, Peach?”

“Fuck me. No more teasing. Wanna feel you. Please.”

He’s not going to lie how he misses your begging. Or your whining, the way you moan around him and look up at him with those doe eyes he dearly loves. As rough as these moments can get, they offer affection in ways the two of you can’t show.

And as much as he loves you begging, he also loves spoiling you. So he gives in with your begging. Warning to rip your panties off for a much better access, but he knows these are your special ones. Black and lacey, just like he loves it. So he just pushes them aside. The tip of his cock presses agaisnt the hood your clit, begging to enter your cunt.

He prolongs the teasing for a just a little bit, rubbing himself onto your wet slick creating a moan mess out of you. “I swear to God, James. If you don’t fuck me now, I’m sleeping over at my place for the week.” He proves you wrong with a hard thrust into you. The air in your lungs feels like it was literally punched out but the feeeling of him instead makes up for that.

“Come again?”

Incoherent moans answer him, your arms thrown around his neck as you bounce up and down on his cock. The feeling of him protruding your womb eagers you on. “Daddy.” It comes out as a pathetic whimper, one that Bucky laughs at. Your hips come to a pause and begin to grind, your clit rubbing against his pubic bone. The sensation is too much as his hands find themselves under your shirt, groping your breasts and twisting your nipples between his fingers.

“God, принцесса, the things you do to me.” Your brows furrow at his words, unable to understand the word he had called you.

“Daddy, I don’t understand.” He smiles, his hand leave your neck to you cup your cheek kindly. His head leans forward, his mouth latching on to your neck as he teases his teeth. “No, marks.” He moans, answering you.

As you spend time with him in you, you alternate from slow movement from your hips from jumping on his cock. The sudden need to cum takes over as you’re jumping on him like a bitch in heat. He can tell, the way you clench uncontrollably around him lets him know that. So he pushes you further, whispering filthy praises in your ear as it always does the trick.

“Y’gonna cum, принцесса? God, you look so good spread out like this. Look at how my cock fills you, sweetheart. It feels so good, doesnt it?”

You nod your head. “Yes, daddy. I’m gonna cum.”

He yanks your hair, pulling you head back suddenly and you let out a gasp. “Few seconds, darling. Daddy wants to cum in your pussy. ‘Mma fill my baby up.”

“Please, I wanna cum.” When he lets go of your hair, it gives you the silent answer you need from him. Your body collapsing on top of his, face hidden in his chest as your orgasm rides through you like a wave. It shakes you, making your legs quiver to their own. And while you’re too caught up in your euphoria, Bucky’s own catches to him; spilling deep inside you, it’ll insure him that none will spill. He holds you tight against him, letting you ride out your climax.

“Holy shit.”

You’re first to break the silence. The room is hot and its filled with sex. But you’ve gotten used to it as it doesn’t phase you anymore. Your head peers up to see Bucky, his own eyes looking down at you. You smile, holding his hand with your own. “I remember a time where I held you like this.” He smiles at his own words. The memory coming into place four years ago.

As you push yourself off him, his face comes into view. Red and hot, his head of hair is tossled as what’s to be known as sex hair. You wonder if his beard is a few weeks old, he seems to be growing them in. You don’t mind, after all, it benefits the both of you. Well, more so on you than him.

“Then we had Joe’s.” An emphasis on Joes, you flutter your eyes at him, way of showing him what you want.

“You’re hungry, aren’t you?”

“Yup! Your fault that your horny ass didn’t even get me food first.”

Slipping back into your seat, his chuckle rumbles through the car. The sound of his belt buckling as he returns them back to where you took them off. You spot yourself in his mirror, hair disheveled and lips swollen and red. “Can’t blame me if my girlfriend looked like you.” There’s a sparkle in his eye when he says that and with a playful roll of your eyes, you scoff at him.

“So Joe’s?”

—

The sound of the chatter makes your giggle practically inaudible as you listen to Bucky’s story of how Sam thought he was the secretary that one era where Bucky had long hair.

“You know I forgot you even had long hair. Been so long since you cut it.” A bite out of your pizza leaves tomato sauce on the side of your cheeks. Bucky, passing no words, swipes off the sauce and brings it to taste on his tongue.

“It wasn’t even that long ago. I cut it not too long after we started sleeping around. Even remember how you gawked at me that one sleep over.”

You make a face of realization. The memory returning as you remember a young adolescent Y/n shamelessly thirsting over her best friend’s brother’s new haircut. Unable to avert your eyes when you had slept over at Rebecca’s for the weekend for a little girl bonding time. Unbeknownst to your best friend that her brother who offered food every five minutes had nearly came in you in the comfort of her living room. That is, of course, until your father came and looked for you.

“Oh, right. I remember that sleepover. Couldn’t sleep with you because we’d made too much of a noise.”

He nods at that. Watching as you return to eating your beloved pineapple pizza which he still has no clue why you like. He stares a little too long, captured by the way you look. It’s a little weird, watching you eat but he can’t help as find something so mundane such as eating so endearing to him. Its only special because it’s you he’s looking at. He knows he’s falling deep and honestly, he doesn’t mind drowning if he gets to have you.

“You alright, Pookie?”

Bucky’s focus returns back to you, well, mostly at the name you had calmly called him. “What?”

“I said you alright? Or did the pineapple finally poison you because I swear, I told them no rat poison this time.”

He chuckles, shaking his head at your sense of humour. “Not that, darling. _Pookie_?”

“Yuh, what’s wrong with that?”

“It’s a little odd, isn’t it?”

“And? It’s cute. You're cute. Makes sense.”

You shrug it off as if it’s nothing, returning back to your pizza and you smile at him. He stares back, a smile on his own face replicating yours. You don’t miss how it reaches his sparkling eyes. It makes you want to experience falling in love with him again. But right now, you couldn’t have it any other way.

“So… who knew Bucky Barnes spoke, what was it? Russian? Polish?” With a raised eyebrow, you smile at him with mischief in your eyes.

“It was Russian, darling. Learned it when I spent time in Europe.”

“You never told me that.”

“You never asked.”

You huff at his response. It was true. There are many things you knew about Bucky. The way he’s really good at sewing thanks to his ma and Rebecca. Or the fact that he despises limes because they think they’re trying to hard to be lemons. Really, you can probably pass a test with flying colours about Bucky Barnes himself. But out of the years yo’ve known him, not once have you heard him mention he knows Russian.

“You could’ve told me.”

“I just did.”

You frown at him.

“Whatever. Can we go home? Don’t feel hungry, no mo’”

Nodding, he packs the left over pizza left. To think that a man like Bucky, wearing a two thousand dollar suit would rather order pizza and take in than go out. It amazes you some times how he hadn’t been taken yet by some needy woman with the time you’ve spent apart. He is perfect, with minimal but regular human flaws. You’re just thankful he found you first.

Perhaps fate does have a way of bringing people together.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which y/n concludes that the hiding is enough and that maybe it’s time to tell her parents.

His home is empty and luckily, it’s reading week for college students, meaning his raven haired sister won’t be home until next week. As fortunate it is currently for you, your relationship with Bucky is still a secret one from family members and close friends. Except for Kate and America as they’re two nosy bitches.

He doesn’t pick you up from work this week. Claiming that he’s needed for overtime at the firm as it has been for nearly the past month. So you take the train back to his place, seeing that’s the place where you’ve been most at rather than your own apartment with your best friends.

Your job at the Chapin wasn’t as easy nor hard. You were a social worker there. You had seen quite a fair share of girls through your three weeks of working there. All concerning their mental and overall healths. From 7 to 3:45, it can be hard working with students, especially the ones who have prestigious families and think they have the right to be entitled. But all that is left behind when you arrive home.

It’s empty, no sign of life in his home except for his plants that you regularly water in the evenings. Your phone buzzes in your purse, which causes you to dig a hand deep in. When you finally pull out (that’s what she said), you find a message from your best friend.

> **You staying at James for dinner or us? XO**.
> 
> **It’s Friday, darling. Date night. Sorry.**
> 
> **Don’t worry, I’ll tell America. Enjoy your night. XO.**

You shoes are set nicely on his shoe rack, beside his running shoes and keys are hung by the door. You make your way to his bedroom, removing your work clothes to replace them with the clothes you kept at his home whenever you stayed. Not realizing that every time you had slept over, you leave a little something behind. Eventually, you had a drawer or two with just your clothes sitting to used when you came over.

As you made your way to the living room, you had set yourself up on the couch comfortably watching some reruns of Brooklyn Nine Nine in ironically a Brooklyn home. It was 4, meaning that Bucky wouldn’t be home until 6. So you let your eyes drop a little and flutter close as exhaustion takes over.

—

The sudden feeling of a ticklish sensation ran through you as you opened your eyes to reveal Bucky look down at you. A soft but tired smile presented on his face. “Hey, baby.” His hands comes up to cup your face, a thumb lovingly rubbing circles on your warm cheek.

A groan leaves you as you adjust yourself on the couch. “Hi, Pookie.” The use of your nickname for him makes the smile on his face wider. “Hey, you’re home.” You suddenly sit up, looking down at Bucky who’s kneeling beside you. You check the time on your phone, making sure you hadn’t overslept for dinner. It was just about 6 and you just had caught him getting home. Thank god.

“Didn’t mean time wake you up, baby. M’sorry.” He kisses your cheek but you shake your head.

“No, ‘s alright. Was just ready to prepare for dinner anyways.” You pull the blanket off your body, your feet coming on the floor around Bucky’s kneeling body. You feel him lean his cheek agasint your bare thigh, feeling his beard tickling your skin but it’s not enough to make you want to move him off. Smiling down at him, you run a hand through his chocolate locks. “You alright, love?”

He hums, hands massage your thigh and it relieves some soreness. “Yup. Just tired, ‘s all.”

“Well, get change first then we’ll have dinner before we get some time alone. ‘Kay?”

“Wait, but I wanted to make something out of the cookbook tonight.” You smile at him. Knowing how Bucky is because once he sets his mind on something, he won’t let go of it. Especially when he’s begging to use that darn cookbook he got at Barnes&Noble when the two of you went out. He claimed that he can memorize a recipe perfectly. Well, he did. But now he’s trying a new recipe.

“Okay, but actually follow the instructions this time. I don’t want another date night where we eat burned food for dinner.” A grin appears on his soft face, the urge to squish them rumbles through you.

He kisses your thigh before standing up to kiss you on the lips. He’s still in his three thousand dollar suit, so you urge him to change before he gets sauce on his Dior.

You spend pass time in Bucky’s study as he prepares the meal in the kitchen. Book in hand, you don’t read it rather hold it instead as you fish through his belongings as if you were once again a curious five year old girl. There’s nothing much interesting, other than his really cool pen but that’s it. So you decide to go on his computer to do god knows what.

It’s what you do when you get bored in his home. It’s a big place but you’re often at his study as it contains the most of him. Plus, you do a lot of window shopping on his computer when it really gets bored. But Bucky finds you before you even get to turn on his computer. His figure leaning against the frame of the door and his unannounced presence scares you.

“What’re you up to?”

“Was gonna go online window shop. But you’re here now.”

He smiles at this, stepping into the room and sitting across from you at the table. The only barrier is the dark oak wood desk that separates the two of you. “Why don’t you actually go online shopping?”

“With what money?” You laugh at this. Knowing that even with a good job at a reputable school, you have bills and rent to pay that causes dents in your bank account. Which causes you to be a little more careful with how you spend money. You have your fathers money, but you never use that unless if it were emergencies.

Bucky wouldn’t quite understand as he literally just changed from his three thousand Dior suit. He’s rich. Like really rich which confuses you why he’s living in Brooklyn when a man with his wealth seems suited for the Upper Side of Manhattan.

“Mine, of course.” You laugh again, thinking he was joking but when he doesn’t join, you’re confused why he’s even offering you.

“Bucky, no. You’re my boyfriend. Not my sugar daddy.”

“Why not? What’s mine is yours.”

You shake your head with a chuckle, leaning into the desk to attempt to get closer to him. He reciprocates you’re actions and stares you down. “Bucky, you know my dad. He’s wealthy. I come from a wealthy family which means I have more advantages than everybody else. I don’t want that. So I make my own money. You of all people should know this. I don’t like when people spend stuff on me. My dad does that a lot. I appreciate the offer, Bucky, but I’m fine with my own.”

He smiles gently at you, understanding your words and he takes you hand. His head motions at you to come over to his side, which you do and end up sitting on his lap. “I know. I’m sorry. Just love spoiling you, that’s all.” Your head falls to his shoulder, smelling his Tom Ford cologne.

“You always spoil me in other ways, Pookie. It doesn’t have to be with money.” He sends the underlying meaning in your sentence. And while taking the hint, his hand reaches up your inner thigh and under your shorts.

“I do, don’t I?” You let out a pathetic yeah as to answer him. You get lost in your head as Bucky’s hands pull your legs open, hanging off his lap. His fingers dancing along the lining of your panties and you know hers getting antsy with the confinement due to your shorts. So he peels them away from you, with the help of your lifted hips, he’s able to get you half naked.

The room is filled with silence, with the exception of your heavy breathing as Bucky’s fingers trails up your bare thighs. He’s so near to where you want him to be that you moan into the crook of his neck where your face is hidden. Your lips latched around that sensitive spot under his jaw, your teeth and tongue teasing around the area. “Make it quick. You have a dinner to prepare.” It comes out mumbled as your pressed against his skin.

When he chuckles, it vibrates through you. He follows your demands, not wasting anymore time and he plunges a finger in your wet heat. “Fuck, you’re so warm.” He praises and it makes you buck your hips involuntary, silently asking him to move. “Got it, darling.”

His fingers thrust in and out of you with a pace that drags out your orgasm. You can tell by the way he’s not rubbing your clit at the same time either. Instead, he’s cupping your face to kiss you passionately. It’s slow and languid. A kiss you can enjoy. But his fingers curl inside you, massaging your g-spot so perfectly it makes a gasp spill into Bucky’s mouth.

He switches from slow to fast paced thrusts. Its only until when he feels you clench around him. An indication of your climax reaching. He follows your demand, making you cum around his fingers quick so he can get back to making dinner. As your orgasm reaches you, he swallows your whines and steady your squirming body.

It’s when your body falls limp in his arms is when he removes his finger out of you. Bringing it to his lips and licking off your juices as if it’s nothing. You stay in his arms for a while, trying to calm down from the euphoria. Thoughts flooding you head as you inhale his cologne. “You alright?” His question snaps you back to reality, your eyes flicker up to see him looking down at you.

You answer him with a simple hum as you pick yourself up to reach down for you shorts and panties. “Thank you, Buck.” A kiss is pressed on the corner of his lips as you pull back your shorts. He smiles at you, hands placed on your love handles and you feel a light squeeze. “But you got a dinner to prepare.”

—

The smell of chicken floods through your nose as you enter the kitchen. It smells good. Really good that you can physically feel your mouth water.

You hear a soft humming as Bucky sings to Fleetwood Mac on his phone. His hip slightly moving back and forth as he dances without the knowledge of you in the room. You watch across the kitchen counter, sitting on the bar stool with your head in the palm of your hands.

“That smells good.”

He turns around, a bright red colour on his cheeks. While he has a spatula in his hand. He’s also wearing an apron. What a dramatic bitch.

“It also tastes good. Prepare the table for me?”

You nod, walking over to his side to grab the plates from the cupboard and spoon and fork from the drawer. As you place the utensils on the table, you couldn’t help but smile softly to yourself as you hear Bucky’s humming return. You were honestly the happiest you’ve been. After everything that has happened. You were with him. Happily in love. But, of course there’s a but, you wanted a relationship where it wasn’t limited to just your best friends knowing. Not that their opinions mattered but you wanted your parents to know. They should know. After all, you were dating their close friend.

And well, of course, seeing that Bucky is much older, you’d expect some surprise in them. But nothing you can’t handle, you suppose. Guess you’d have to pitch the idea to Bucky first. See if he’s up to it.

So when he finishes making dinner and sets it in the table, he sits across from you. A smile on his pretty face as he looks like he’s ready to dig into his meal. And as much as you want to do that, you take it slow Giving the two of you a few minutes to eat before you bring up the topic.

There’s a comfortable silence that sits before you talk. “Hey, Buck?” He hums, looking up to wipe his mouth with a napkin. “Was thinking, since Kate and America knows, don’t you think it’s time to tell Ma and Pa? And Rebecca, of course.” There’s a pause and suddenly anxiety takes over you and you try to fix it. “Or not… I guess it’s not—”

“No, no. I think it’s time too. Even though we’ve only been officially together for like a month now. I feel like it’s been years.” You roll your eyes at his hyperbole. Well, technically speaking, he’s not wrong. But then again, you haven’t been together since a month ago. “But I guess I’m just little scared, you know? After all, your parents are friend of mine.”

You nod. “Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. But I think it’ll be fine. I can handle him. I’ll try to be my father’s little girl again.” You chuckle at your own words. “Rebecca, on the other hand. She’s all yours. I don’t think she likes me anymore.”

Bucky frowns at that and even despite the fact that he hates what has happened between you and his sister, he has to agree with you. He has seen how Rebecca talks bitterly about you. As if you were in the wrong in the whole situation when it had been him. Perhaps it was just a protective thing, they are family. But it still sad that what once wa as great friendship turned into bitter distaste.

“It’s alright. I’ll tame the beast.”

“Bucky! Don’t call her that! ‘S rude.”

He raises his hands up. “What it’s true. My sister can be a bitch on many occasions. You know once she replaced my aftershave with toothpaste. Made hell of a mess.”

Your chuckle fills the room as you listen to his story. Bucky thinks that it may be one of the most melodic sounds he’s ever heard in his life. The swelling in his chest expands and it widens the grin he has on his face.

“Think Saturday would be alright for dinner? Don’t wanna do lunch since it seems too casual for this announcement.”

“Yeah, that’s alright. You staying over Friday or you at your place?”

“I’ll stay over at my place. Don’t want to arrive at the dinner together announcing our relationship before we can even do it ourselves.”

He nods, his arm reaching over the table to take you hand in his. A soft smile on his face and you replicate it as you squeeze his hand. God, you never felt so relieved yet so anxious at the same time. You’re just thankful that you don’t have to feel that way alone. At least you have Bucky.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which y/n and bucky finally reveal the long awaited secret to their parents and bucky’s sister but it doesn’t go well as planned.

The phone call with your parents had been pleasant as Bucky informed them about dinner this Saturday at his place. They were delighted when he had called. Beaming with excitement about finally seeing him after a while. Along was his little sister as she promised she’ll be there.

Now the waiting was the worst part. As the two of you spent the two days dreading the dinner. The two of you also spent nights planning on what to do or what to say that it had even came up during intimate moments.

As you laid beside him, a sheet over your bare chest while the TV played in the background. “I think you should announce it.” His head snaps at you, his eyebrows pinched together.

“They’re your parents, Y/n. Not mine.”

“Ugh, you’re right.” A pause as you look back at him, a soft expression on your face lets him know how much anxiety this dinner is giving the both of you. “I’m just scared, you know? My parents have always been protective of me and for them to find out I’m with you. Any father’s best friend. I don’t know. I’m honestly thinking we should waited.”

He frowns at your words, the thought of you giving up so easily phases him as you’re not one to back down so willingly. His hand comes up to your face, his knuckle caressing your warm cheek and he watches your eyes flutter close and you lean into his touch. “Darling, we’ve come so far now. Don’t let the fear of your parents judgment stop you from that. Regardless, I’ll still love you and support you no matter what they say.”

Your eyes open to see him looking at you. A subtle upturn of his lips and it makes you sigh. “God, I love you, you know that?”

His chuckles sends about sparks in the air and as of you thought you couldn’t fall deeper, you just did. “Why don’t you show me again?” Your smile turns into a grin filled with mischief. Maybe you do prove it to him that night.

But as the dinner comes close as it’s this evening. You dread what to wear when you finally announce to your parents you’ve been sleeping with their close family friend. Should you wear a dress? Perhaps a little less formal and go for a leather mini skirt? No, you shouldn’t wear something that you wore to go clubbing.

Instead, Kate helped you dress up. It feels a little old, but you wore a strappy flower midi dress with a cardigan to cover your overbearing shoulders. You kept your hair down. Ruffled it up a bit. And you finished it off with some sandals. It wasn’t perfect. But it was just dinner with your parents… and your boyfriend… and his sister. Okay, so maybe you were overthinking this. Who wouldn’t? Right?

“You’ll be fine, Y/n. Just stop overthinking because you’ll fuck it up.” She twirls you around to face her, hands on your hip and she smiles at you. Eyes raking down your body and suddenly you feel conscious. “Look at you. You’re parents can’t get mad at you for being with someone. That’s just stupid. If they do, well, fuck ‘em. You’re a grown woman.”

You smile at this, leaning to hug your best friend as tightly as you could; showing every bit of your appreciation for her. “Ello? Where’s my hug?” America’s head peaks in the room, a pout present on her lips.

“You’ll get it when you haul your ass in here.”

America throws herself into the group, her large arms wrapping around the two of you. It lasts a while, the hug as these two are your best friend. They’re gonna be there for everything. For every break up, relationship problem, and just for bitching. These two are your people.

Eventually, they’re gonna be there when you get married. If you ever get married. God, the thought of marrying? Yup, this is just you overthinking again. You don’t even try to think of it as you’re probably going to scare yourself even more.

“Guys, either we spend the night just hugging each other or I actually go to the dinner.” Your words pull chuckles from your best friends as they finally let go. Smiles on their faces and you replicate it. It’s when you turn to Kate, an eyebrow arched, silently telling her what to do and she catches it on.

“Okay, okay. I’ll get the car ready. I expect the two of you down in five minutes, though. Traffic to Brooklyn is a pain in the ass.”

When you’re left alone in your room with America, you turn to her with a wide grin that she knows all too well. She groans, because it’s you, grinning at her like a maniac. And also because she knows you’re going to ask her about the topic she’s been avoiding all week.

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Oh please! Don’t play coy!”

She scoffs, doing exactly what you told her not to do. She’s playing coy and honestly, she’s doing a very bad job of it but the way her face turns a dark red earns a chuckle from you. Honestly, its a very fun thing to watch your best friend fall for your other best friend. Well, that is until the tension in the room between them becomes too much to handle that you, on occasions, have to excuse yourself from the room.

“See that look at your face! That’s the face of falling in love. I’m like the CEO of it!”

“Whatever! Just get in the car, you nosy bitch.”

—

His car is there. So is your parents, which you don’t know why they drove when he’s only a few hours down. Perhaps they’re lazy. But it’s parked in his front lot and a wave of anxiety rushes through you as you realized that it’s actually happening and there’s no backing down now. So you have to suck it up, make yourself presentable and get your ass out of the car because you know if you don’t, Kate will drag you out herself.

Of course, you eventually get out of the car. When you look back, you can see Kate and America sending you thumbs up and you can’t help but stick your tongue out at the two. Eventually, they drive away and you’re left alone in the stairs of his home.

When you knock, which you don’t really do often as you have a spare key to his place because that’s where you spend most of your time anyways. You wait for a few seconds, and as you do you can hear muffled footsteps grow nearer and you definitely know who it is. The door swings open and Bucky’s figure is right in front of you with a smile.

“Hey, baby.” A grin grows on your face as well. The urge to kiss him grows but you know you can’t as your parents are in the room next to you. Instead, he cups your face and a thumb caresses your cheek.

“Hi, Pookie.” He wants to lean in. You can tell. But he stops himself and rather just admires you.

“Is that Becca?” A voice shouts from the other room and you just know with that loud booming voice that it belongs to your father. You send Bucky a look of empathy as he had to sit with your parents for a while before you had arrived. But it quickly turns into disappointment when his hands drop from your face to his side.

“No, its Y/n. She’s here.” He yells back, also clearly disappointed that he can’t touch you properly. There’s a few seconds of mutters and then the sounds of chairs scrapping back and you have to step back to give the two of you space. Enough that it doesn’t seem suspicious.

A look of fear is on your face as you see your parents walk into the long hallway. Yet, even though they have had not see you in quite some time, they act as if you had just returned from a three year service in the army. You have to roll your eyes when your father pulls you in a bone crushing embrace. Your mother chuckling at your reaction and there’s a grin embedded on Bucky’s damn face.

“God, Y/n, it’s been so long. Come! Eat a little something before Rebecca arrives.” Your mother’s grip on your arm surprises you and you’re already pulled into the dining room by the time you can even blink. There’s cookies on the table, the ones you had made last night because you damn well knew that Bucky would forget to make them.

“Sit! We have some many things to catch up on.” She practically pushes onto a chair and her attitude is quickly annoying you as you have a scowl on your face. As your eyes flicker up and beside you, Bucky has a subtle smile present on his face and you know damn well that he’s enjoying this too much.

In effort to ignore your mother, you reach for a cookie. Taking more than one but honestly, you couldn’t care less as your anxiety and irritation is speaking for you instead. “Don’t take too much, darling. It’s rude.”

 _No, it’s not. I made these my fucking self_ , is what you wanted to comment back. But instead you return one out of the four cookies into the plate. “So, what occasion are we celebrating to have dinner at Bucky’s place?” Your father is the first to question the event and suddenly your anxiety heightens.

Fortunately, Bucky answers your father instead. His answer defying the question. “I think we should wait for Rebecca. Best to explain everything at once.” And as if it were planned by the gods, a knock booms through the door and your head snaps to Bucky.

He’s quick to get up and open the door. Chuckles and small talk ensure and soon, Rebecca walks in the dinning room right behind Bucky. Her smile wide until she sees you. A weird surprised look replacing on her face. Her brother tells her to sit and she takes the place beside your mother; kissing her on the cheek just as she always does.

And as you munch on your second cookie, trying to eat away your stress, a pair of eyes are already burning into your brain.

Bucky initiates the dinner, claiming that we shouldn’t talk over an empty stomach and your mother laughs at his poor attempt of a joke. Conversations are made and the topic of school is brought up as your parents and sometimes Bucky question Rebecca about her final year in university. Without doubt, she answers them truthfully and adds some remarks about student life. Though, you don’t miss the way she eyed you when she had started to gossip about the scandal of a student who slept with her professor.

You question her looks as if that had anything to do with you. But you brushed it off as you continued listening to Rebecca talk. Shoving your mouthful of Bucky’s delicious ribs he had wonderfully made without burning anything. Though, your focus on Rebecca’s story is cut short when you feel a hand on your thigh. Your head snapping up to look at Bucky. And god, he has that look on his face as if to tell you that’s time. You know it is because you really don’t want to endure this dinner any longer with your parents around. So you prepare yourself to tell them.

Bucky’s hand squeezes your thigh softly as if to give you the encouragement you need. And when finally, _finally_ , when Rebecca’s story is finished. You cough to grab everyone’s attention.

Their heads looking up to catch your eye. Your mother especially, she has that look whenever she seems genuinely interested in what you have to say. God, suddenly you feel like it’s gotten really hot in the room. But that’s no excuse and you have to stick through with this.

“Um - So, there’s actually a reason why we’re having dinner tonight. And - uh, there’s really no sugar coating this but… Bucky and I - uh - We’re together.”

There’s a pause which is overcome by an awkward silence that lingers. Your mother is the first one to speak up. “Of course you are. You’re sitting together.” She laughs at her attempt of a joke, clearly not understand what you had meant.

“No, ma. Bucky and I are seeing each other.”

And, lord, you don’t miss the way your father’s smile drops, along with his fork. But you can literally see the fire growing in his eyes as they look at you then back to his best friend. And while you’re too busy waiting for your father’s response, you miss how Rebecca shakes her head disgustingly.

“We’ve been meaning to tell you—”

“You’re what?”

Your father cuts Bucky off and that’s when you know shit ain’t going to turn out great. Bucky’s eyes meet your dads, there’s fear in them but he doesn’t show it.

“Sweetheart, you’re not serious are you?”

You frown at your mother’s words. Of course you were. Why would she think you weren’t.

“No, I am. I’ve been seeing Bucky for a while now and I thought it—”

“How long?”

You look at your father straight in the eye. Where there’s literal fire burning out of them. But he doesn’t seem to be looking at you. Instead, he’s looking at who’s beside you. And when Bucky doesn’t answer your fathers question, he asks again. This time, leaving no room for hesitation.

“How long has this shit being going on?”

Bucky fights on whether should he tell him the real answer or the twisted one. And as he opens his mouth nothing seems to come out. Luckily, you’ve got his back.

“We’ve been only officially together for about a month now. Since school has been in the way of everything. And of course—”

“Wait, what the fuck do you mean officially?”

Your hand reaches for Bucky’s underneath the table, squeezing it as a sign of encouragement. But as you were about to open your mouth to speak, someone else speaks up for you.

“They’ve been doing this since she was 19.”

The attention turns from you to the raven haired girl sitting beside your mother. An unamused look on her face as she says those words while she stares directly into your eyes. They’re cold and they’re icy. It’s a chilling look and one you would have never expected from your best friend. Yet, here she was. Throwing daggers at you with her eyes.

As silence takes over again, your heart races as you begin to wonder what your parents must be thinking. Your hold on Bucky’s hand doesn’t falter, instead they tighten and they’re starting to get sweaty with every passing second.

“Get up.”

You look at your father, confused. Pinched eyebrows and eyes flickering back and forth to him and Bucky. And when you don’t follow his command, he tends to get aggressive. His hand gripping your arm and snatching you up from your seat without any warning. A whine falls from your lips as he handles you roughly.

“No, get your hands off!” In effort to push your father off, you slap his chest. It’s a poor attempt, really. As it doesn’t really do anything except make his hand grip your arm tighter.

“Y/f/n, let go of her please. Let’s talk about this like adults.” You hear the desperation in Bucky’s voice yet it doesn’t get through your father’s thick skin. He wants to help you, wants to take you back in his arms and sooth the bruise that probably going to be on your arm. But he knows by doing that, it’ll make it worse.

Your head turns to your mother. A look of disappointment? Disapproval? You don’t know which one it is but her look is embedded in your head as she just stands there not caring for your call of help.

“Papa, please. Let go. You’re hurting me.” Your whines turn into cries when your father refuses to let go. You see the sadness in Bucky’s eyes as you try to reach out for him, unable to grab you as your father’s strength is much greater than your own. “I love him, Papa. Please, let go!”

Certainly that gets the whole room’s attention. His actions stopping as he looks at you, his daughter and then back up to his friend. “You? Love him? That predator who fucking preyed on my 19 year old daughter? The man I thought I could trust? What kind of fucking sick joke is this, Y/n? Because by all means, please fucking explain how my daughter can be with a guy like him?”

“Papa, you have to understand. I didn’t mean for this to happen. Bucky doesn’t mean any harm. But it happened and I love him and he loves me.”

Your words elicits a scoff from both your father and Rebecca. As your mom remains quiet, her eyes remains at the ground and you can’t help feel the pang of hurt that strucks you in the chest.

“Y/n, you were in it for the sex. There was no love there in the first place. I don’t know why you would think it would be there now.” Rebecca’s words burn and they create a whole in your confidence as it starts to creat doubt in you. As for Bucky, he doesn’t seem pleased with his own sister’s opinion as he mutters her name to get her to stop.

“No, Y/f/n. It wasn’t like that. I would never hurt Y/n. Let alone prey on her. I’m not like that. I’ve never seen Y/n like that. Our relationship only started as adults.”

With a shake of your fathers head, he laughs at Bucky’s words. The bitterness of it lingering in the silent air. Then, without warning, his fists flies through the air and meets Bucky’s cheek. All gasps and there’s a loud clatter as Bucky stumbles back agaisnt the dinner table.

Your mother calls out for your fathers name while Rebecca rushes to her brother’s side. It’s all to chaotic and it makes you feel a little woozy. As if the gods were playing tricks on you, there’s a sudden blackness and that’s all you remember.

—

It’s cold and you feel it on your forehead. It feels nice at first but it quickly turns into something more painful and your eyes snap open. The headache you’ve been enduring the dinner returns and it makes you groan out in irritation.

You look up to see your mother, a worried look on her wrinkly face and you’re almost confused as to why. But then it hits you. The dinner. Your parents. Bucky.

 _ **Bucky**_.

As you sit up, your first instinct is to look for Bucky. But your mom pushes a hand on your shoulder, telling — more like scolding — you to lay back down on the bed with an ice pack in her hands.

“Where’s Bucky?” You ask once again. Yet, she only ignores you and forces the ice pack to your head. Pushing her hand away, you sit up carefully and thankfully you’re still at his home. Just in his living room. “Ma, where’s Bucky?”

Again, she doesn’t answer and it irritates you tot he point of pushing her hands off your body. And as you sit up, you look around for any signs of Bucky, Rebecca, or worse, your father. But none of them are here and you’re scared for your life. “Your fathers back home. Said it’ll be best to stay away till he calms down.”

“You didn’t answer my question. Where’s Bucky?”

She sighs, knowing that there’s no point of being stubborn and ignoring your question. “He’s in his bathroom. Becca is taking care of his face.” Your face turns into a scowl as you look at your mom, disgusted by your own father’s action.

“Please, go home. I just - I - I really don’t want to deal with you right now, Ma.”

She stares at you, disappointed with your words. But she understands. The whole night has been hectic. With the news and the violence. She decides it’s best to give everyone space for now. “Alright. Just, contact me when everything is okay? Ice your head. You fell down really hard.”

As your face softens at her concern, you nod, taking the ice pack from her hands. She kisses your temple, softly, not hard enough that’ll hurt your sore head. And as she finally leaves, you head into master bedroom and into Bucky’s own bathroom. The door slightly ajar that the light spills into the bedroom. Muffled words can be heard from the other side and you push the door slightly as it swings open slowly.

There sits Bucky on top of his closed toilet, an ice pack pressed against his bruised cheek. Rebecca’s hand swatting away her brothers as she tries to wash his blown lip, the blood bleeding into the side of his mouth.

But their attentions are stolen when you reveal yourself in their presence. Rebecca’s icy eyes staring at you in surprise as if she had thought you had been long gone. As for Bucky, he doesn’t seem to want to look at you directly. As if he were afraid.

“Oh my god, Bucky.” You reach out for him, taking small steps towards his directions. You’re stopped a few feet away from him by Rebecca. Her hand reached out as if to block you away from her brother.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. He just got punched. By _your_ father, if I may recall.”

Frowning, you look at Bucky, who’s taken himself to finally look at you with sad eyes. “Oh, okay.” You take it to yourself to exit the bathroom, finding a seat on his bed so you can wait until he’s done. Since you’re not too far from the bathroom, the muffled notices resume and you know they’re talking.

You can’t quite clearly understand what they’re saying but you can get an idea from the certain words you pull. Bucky’s voice booms louder and so does Rebecca as they seem to be engaged in an argument.

“God, Bucky! I thought you’d be smarter and not end up with a girl like her! She hurt you and all you can do is pathetically crawl back to her because she says so.” That’s the only thing you seem to hear as Rebecca storms out of the bathroom, not even bothering to make eye contact with you.

With that, the door is left nearly open to the point you can see Bucky’s feet peaking out. Your head looks up and you stand up to walk over to the bathroom. Slowly, the door swings fully open and you finally get him to yourself.

“Bucky?”

“Hey, baby.”

He meekly smiles at you, his usual grin not being so wide as to not bust his lip again. The sight makes you sad. It wasn’t suppose to go like this. You were just suppose to talk if anything got heated. Talk it out like the grown adults you were suppose to be. But turns out, your father can’t do that.

“I’m so sorry. It wasn’t suppose to go like that.” Your hand reaches to touch him but you’re reminded not to by the bruising on his face. “Fuck! James, I’m so fucking sorry.” The tears start to bubble in your eyes and all you can do is covering them with the heel of your palm that’s hidden underneath the sweater paw you have.

You attempt to keep your sobs at bay but they spill and there’s no turning back now. A deep gutted feeling in your throat bursts and you’re left sobbing in your sweater with Bucky in front of you.

“Baby, please, don’t cry, m’love. Look at me. Y/n.” He reaches out for you, setting down the ice pack on to the floor. His hands snakes around your waist to pull you onto his lap. It works because next thing you knew, you were crying into his shirt. “Y/n, please look at me.”

“I know I’m sorry. We should’ve waited if I had known. Fuck, Bucky. I got you punched.”

He pries you away from him, palms cupping your wet face in order to force you to look at him. His baby blues stare directly at you, but he frowns when you don’t meet this gaze. Instead you look down at your lap.

“Hey, look at me.” His voice is soft but there’s a sternness to it which you don’t defy. “This is not your fault, okay? Your father’s anger got the best of him and that’s on him. Besides, it’s worth getting punch if it means that I can be publicly with you.” He smiles at his words as his thumb caresses your cheek. “Got it?”

You chuckle softly, wiping your fallen tears off your cheek you look up at him through you hooded eyes. He pauses, waiting for your verbal answer to give him the reassurance. A small _yeah_ squeaks from you and finally, you look up to see him. The full picture makes you frown. And it makes you realize how truly purple his cheek is. “Don’t, Y/n. I hate seeing m’baby cry.”

A soft sigh escapes from you when you suppress the sob that gets stuck in your throat. You try to distract yourself by playing with the hem of his crew neck sweater, feeling the cotton under your touch. “I should clean up outside. Don’t want the food to spoil.” He nods, leaning to kiss the underside of your jaw carefully.

When you finally get off his lap, telling him to keep that damn ice pack on his cheek and make your way into the kitchen, you meet his sister sitting by the table with a cookie in her hand. Her meal is paired with a scowl expression, directed at you and you only. You don’t take anything out of it, instead you ignore her. All while removing the left over food and plates to bring them to either the fridge or the dishwasher.

The attempt to avoid her glares is becoming to be a difficult task as she seems determined to get your attention. When you don’t give in easily, she’s the first to strike.

“I don’t understand why he always goes back to you.”

Her voice is saturated with bitterness. The sharpness of her tongue trying to aim at your insecurities. Rebecca knows you of course. Being best friend nearly half your life has some advantages. But when your ex best friend turns on you, maybe those sleepovers and kept secrets doesn’t seem so genuine now.

You ignore her once again. Scrapping food into a container to return them into the safety of the fridge. Yet, it seems she has only started.

“No, really. I mean, him and Natasha were perfect for together. She was head strong, pretty, intelligent. I don’t know about you, but you don’t seem to have a degree in law and went to Harvard.”

You realize what the raven haired girl is doing. Her method of offense seems to be targeting your weakness. In which is Natasha. And as much as you hate fighting your boyfriend’s sister, she’s making it really difficult not to fight the bitch.

“When you’re finish with the cookies, just place them in the sink. I’ll wash ‘em later.”

You leave her to it, wiping your wet hands onto your dress and you head for the bedroom again. But Rebecca doesn’t seem to know what are boundaries as her mouth opens once again.

“You should’ve seen the way he was with Natasha. I was glad she actually came when I called her to come back because he was actually happy. The happiest he’s been, to be honest.”

Her words seem to take a toll on you as you realize the information she had spewed. To be honest, you hadn’t believed it at first because Rebecca would never, right? She was always kind and respectful. She was never one to committ atrocities. But she has. Even told you personally and you honestly couldn’t believe what kind of person Rebecca Barnes has become.

“You - Wait - You called Natasha? Back to New York?”

“God, Y/n, well why else would she come? For a vacation in the city where her ex-husband lives?”

You almost choke on your words when you try to further investigate why your once best friend would do something to ruin your relationship with Bucky. But when no words come out of your mouth, it becomes too mouth and you feel like breaking down. First your father and now this?

“You what?”

That familiar voice enters the room and when you turn, Bucky is right behind you; an ice pack in his hand while he looks at his sister with a bruised face.

Rebecca doesn’t seem to be dazed by the fact that her brother knows. In fact she seems rather annoyed and so done with everything that she actually rolls her eyes.

Bucky turns to you, looking at you with an expression as if asking you to confirm what he had just heard. When you give him a look in return, one that seems apologetic and concerned, he gets his answer.

“I need you to go home, Becca. Please.”

Now this seemed to get a rise out of the girl as she looks at her brother with a raise eyebrows. Her body turning stiff as she drops her cookie onto the empty plate, the sound of a clatter echoing in the room. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am and I’m politely asking you to get out of our home.”

She stares at her brother for a few seconds, as if waiting for him to tell her he’s joking. But he doesn’t and all she can do is follow his wishes and grab her shoes. She sends him a look one last time, still waiting for him to tell her that she should stay. But it just silence and she knows she can’t really fight him in this one.

When finally, for the love of god, you’re finally alone with Bucky, all you can do is sigh and throw yourself into his arms; still careful, of course, not to hit him. Your face mushed agaisnt his sweater, you cling to him like a koala. He chuckles softly at your state, bring a hand to rub your back.

You swallow down that sob that gets stuck in your throat and you really don’t want to be crying again in front of Bucky again. But it’s bubbling and the dam breaks and now you’re sobbing hysterically into his sweatshirt. You try to stop it but with everything that’s happened, you don’t think you can.

“Let’s sit first, ‘kay?” You nod meekly at this and follow his lead to the living room. When he sits down, he carries you onto his lap as if its nothing. To him, it really isn’t because even if you’ve got snot running down your nose, he’s gonna take care of you no matter what. So with a finger under your chin, he lifts your head to make you look at him. With swollen and red eyes, he frowns at the sight.

“We really fucked up didn’t we?” He chuckles but you can tell it’s clearly forced with the eye his smile doesn’t meet his eyes. His hands reach up to cup your face, his palms warm comforting as he holds you lovingly in his hands. “I can’t believe Rebecca would do something like that. My god, Bucky. What has this night turned into?”

“I don’t know anymore, baby. But you’re still here with me. That’s all that matters. I guess I have to speak with Becca on another day.”

You sigh, knowing that even you will have to eventually talk to your parents about the whole situation. And knowing them, it won’t be pretty nor will it end well. But you do what you gotta do for your relationship.

“Yeah, I suppose I have to talk to my parents, don’t I?” He frowns, a subtle nod following along and you fall back into his arms. “God, can we just take a nice relaxing bath and forget about this?”

“Knowing you, it won’t just be a relax bath.”

“Fuck off! I’m not gonna fuck you. You just got punched.”

You push yourself off him, taking a better look at your battered up boyfriend. A slight smile on his face and one on yours. Even with that god awful purple bruise, he still manages to capture your heart.

“See, I know that look.”

With a roll of your eyes, you playfully slap his chest. A chuckle rumbles through the air and you just smile at him. You try not to think of the words Rebecca had hit you with. The one especially with the sex because god, the last thing you want right now it doubt this whole relationship based off an opinion that shouldn’t matter. But Bucky can see right through you. He can see the way how your mind gears are working and he raises an eyebrow.

“What’s on your mind, darling?” His hand runs through your tangled hair, pulling you out of your thoughts and you look at him carefully. With a shake of your head, you shake his questions and the thoughts off.

“Just thinking of our bath.”

He smiles at you, knowing deep inside him you’re lying. But Bucky chooses not to push your buttons right now and save that conversation for another night. “Y’thinking of that lavender bath oil, aren’t you?”

You give him a nod, wrapping your arms around him neck. “Better than thinking of what happened tonight.” He rolls his eyes at you, playfully pinching your sides to get a laugh out of you. In which he does, thankfully because he hasn’t heard it all night and he needs something rather positive right now.

“Then what’re we waiting for?”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the reader comes faces her parent’s final judgement about her relationship with bucky.

As last night consisted of bubble baths and to Bucky’s surprise, no sex, the two of you enjoyed the rest of your night binging the newest season of Brooklyn Nine Nine in bed. An effort to forget about the fact that your relationship with your parents may have been broken over their stubbornness of protecting you.

But even when you had thought Andy Samberg and Bucky’s kisses were enough to get your thoughts about your parents, when the lights had been switched off and you laid your head on Bucky’s chest, they still swam deep. Taunting you with the possibility that your parents may hate you for the rest of your life.

You knew you’d have to talk them soon, because despite their shitty actions, they’re still your parents. And even if they punched your boyfriend, which your father still had no right doing, he genuinely did it out of his own protectiveness for you. After all, your his daughter. His baby. Though with having such a hard headed father, it won’t definitely be all laughs and giggles when you meet him.

So as you dread that day when you do talk to them, you just have to think as positive as you can to not let the negative thoughts invade again.

You knew it wouldn’t be fixed in a day. After all, Rome wasn’t built in day. In fact, for you, it took a nearly week to build the balls to call your parents. It took some great convincing from Bucky as well. Promised you with some sex, that little shit he is. Well, it worked because hours later, your hands sweating like hell as you grip the phone tightly in your hand. Trying to focus as Bucky’s hand roams under your sweater, touching your tummy.

 ~~Un~~ fortunately, your parents had answered. Your mom’s voice squeaking into the speaker and honestly, you’ve missed it as she never really spoke to you much during the dinner aside from the times she scolded you for taking too many of the cookies you made. She seemed a little surprise but grateful when she had heard it was you who called. Though, it turned to worry when you had requested to see each other for lunch the following day. She was hesitant but agreed to it.

You weren’t going to lie when you say that you almost felt like puking. Luckily, Bucky’s comforting touch was able to calm your nerves as he not-so-innocently touched your tummy under your sweater. In fact, he honestly just started playing with your boobs after the call. You didn’t mind but it was still funny to think about it.

So, a day later and you’re here, waiting at that cat cafe near the promenade that you and your mom loved to go to nearly every week. So you thought why not bring a little nostalgia as you talk about your present relationship with Bucky.

As expected, your father didn’t come and to be fair, you weren’t as surprised. Your mother explained to you with a frown that he wasn’t just ready to hear about it. After all, his best friend is dating his only daughter. You honestly wished you could roll your eyes at that but you refrained from doing it. Instead, you frowned at your mother’s words and commented how stubborn your dad can get. She agreed, telling you a little story on how when they were younger he would keep pestering her about a date until she finally said yes.

When that topic died down, you were the first one to speak up. Eyes staring down at the cat, named Kiwi, who had chosen to snuggle up on your lap instead.

“I know it isn’t the ideal relationship you thought you’d see me in and I honestly didn’t expect to see myself in this too but it happened, you know?”

She nodded at your words, opening her mouth to stop you and speak. “Yeah, I just didn’t see this coming. I’m just wondering, what Rebecca said, was it true? Did this happen when you were 19?”

“Yeah, I don’t know of you want to hear how it started but it just happened? Don’t get it wrong though. I was the one who started this whole relationship. Hell, Bucky was hesitant at first and so was I because our families are so close. But honestly, he’s not what Papa says he is.”

You look at your mother, a little afraid to be honest but luckily Kiwi’s purring to your touch and it lessens your anxiety. “But he’s known our family for quite a while? Isn’t that a little weird?” You understand her concern. It’s true. Bucky has known your family for quite some time. And while it’s weird to some, you’re an adult who understands their feelings for Bucky. You don’t see what’s wrong with it. It’s only til four later that the two of you tried to pursue a real relationship and now that you’re an adult, you’ve fully understand what your past emotions truly meant.

“I mean, yeah. At first, we were a little hesitant because of our family’s relationship and with Rebecca. What she said was true. It started a while ago but feelings were created and I realized it was more then sex but truth be told, it never was going to work out. And to be fair, I’m glad we didn’t end up together back then because I would’ve lost myself. Now I’m much older and more mature, I feel like our relationship is much more compatible.”

“And regarding our age, we don’t focus on that as we don’t believe that it sets a boundary between us. We’re honest with each other about our feelings and life. Thats all that matters.”

“You said you love him. Is that true? Did you guys drop the L bomb yet?” She seems to be getting comfortable and it’s honestly warming your heart. Your mother has always been a kind soul. She’s understand. Especially when you came out, she had supported you in every way possible. She had even went to one pride parade with you one summer. You’re glad she opened her mind to the idea of you being with Bucky.

Your smile answers her question. But you choose to verbally confirm it. “It’s a long story but we did.”

“Well, darling. We’re in cafe filled with cats. We’ve got all day.”

And you told her. Explained the story of how you knew that you definitely had fallen in love with a man you weren’t even allowed to see. Told her how the break up had been brutal but you were thankful for it because it made you grow as a person and realize that even if something did happen, you wouldn’t be prepared for it and that those fours years that had gone gave you the time to mature. And of course, your mother always had to make it weird when she asked if he was good. Good as in referring to the sex.

You squealed at her question, with her laughing at your response. But this was your mom. Your best friend. You knew you could tell her anything. And you were glad to tell her about you and Bucky because she was very much understanding of it rather than pessimistic and childish.

When you had came home that afternoon, Bucky had definitely saw a change in your attitude. As you came home more affectionate than you usually were in the last week since the dinner. In fact, when you had gotten home and caught him in his study, you had been so happy and been grinning ear to ear as you pull Bucky’s chair back and took a comfortable seat in his lap. An arm thrown around his neck and you smiled at him.

“I’m guessing the lunch went well?” He asked, his attention focused on his computer as he typed up some report. You rolled your eyes and lifted his head up by the chin. With a look he knew all too well, his fingers stoped their little actions. “What did your mom say?”

While playing with his curly locks, you recalled your lunch with your mother with a smile on your face. “It went so well. I mean, I was hoping dad could be there but I wasn’t expecting a lot from him. He didn’t come, not to my surprise. But, mom took it well. Asked how this shit show started— Ow!” He pinches your side, making you scold him with a look. “Anyways, she asked a very interesting question which made me think about it.”

“What was it?”

“She asked if it we found it weird since you’re quite close with my family.

“And what did you say?”

“I said not really. I mean, you were a little hesitant as first, even me but I told her that if we’re being honest; it was only sex. There was a obvious connection between us but I felt like the sex is what drove our affair. But now that we’re both here, fully grown, I told her that we’re capable of having a relationship. A real one this time.”

Bucky understands what you mean. He agrees with you fully. He knew it would be right for either both of them to be in a relationship. He used to think that he’d only corrupt her more and even though the way they drifted apart was hard for both of them, it was for the best; at least you were old enough to know what you wanted and felt. “Oh my god, wait, I just remembered, I have to tell you about this cat—”

“Y/n, no—”

“But you haven’t even listened to me! The cat was so cute, Bucky! It’s green eyes just kept looking up at me. Kiwi, his name is Kiwi by the way, just kept purring. It was the cutest thing!”

Bucky groans at your rambling, talking about a cat for the third time this week because for the love of god, you saw that one scene in an animal planet document with the smallest cats in the world and all you could do is annoy him about getting one. Of course he’s gonna say no because a cat? In this home? He already has to deal with you.

“We’re not getting an animal just because you saw a cute cat with your mom.”

“Boo! You suck!” You stick your tongue out at him, pressing your face closer to his so you could lick him but he’s leaning his head back to get away from you. “Okay but what if I gave you a blowjob?” He chuckles at this, actually taking in that his girlfriend offered a single blowjob for a cat.

“Nope.”

“Pleaseeeee. I’ll blow you like every week.”

“As tempting as it sounds, no.”

He watches as you groan, rolling your eyes at him as you get off his lap and flip him off. You think how lucky, okay maybe not, his bruised cheek is still healing because you’re really tempted to squish his cheeks together and just squeeze them.

“You know, you’re lucky my mom made up with us because if she didn’t, she’d beat your ass for me!”

Without any warnings, Bucky pulls you back into his lap. An arm snakes around your waist and he buries his face in the crook your neck, inhaling the way your perfume smells on your skin. He mumbles something incoherent and you chuckle. “What the fuck are you saying?”

He lifts his head, a pretend pout on his face. “Don’t leave. Just stay here while I work.”

Rolling your eyes, you pry his arms from your body and wiggle free from his embrace. “Nope. I have plans with Kate and America in an hour. We’re gonna be tourists for the day and go to well known spots in the city.” There’s a frown on his face when he looks up to you. You just merely chuckle at it and lean down to his ear. “Don’t worry, you’ll still get your blowie tonight.”

Once again, being the persistent person Bucky Barnes is, he pulls you back, snatching you by your sweater and back onto his lap. “Bucky, I have to—” And with a hand on the nape of your neck and one on your cheek, he pulls you down and his lips connect with your own. The feeling agaisnt his soft and pink lips seems familiar but always comforting as you kiss him back. Tongue licking his bottom lip, asking for consent in which he gives it to you by meeting your own with his. A small whimper is swallowed by him and the hand buried in the forest of brown hair pulls slightly on his scalp. All while hips grind to their own motive agaisnt Bucky’s lap.

You don’t want to be the first one to pull away but when the lack of air is straining agaisnt you, your lips fall back from Bucky’s. Both red and swollen, the two of you sit there in the silence and comfort of his study heavily breathing. Then there’s the feeling of his hand snaking up your sweater, making your breathing to point that it’s rigid and uneven as you look at him. “Bucky, I have an hour.” Then they meet the underside of your breast.

“It’ll be quick, then.”

A moan escapes your pretty lips as he latched his own to that spot underneath your jaw that he knows damn well that makes your legs feel like jelly. It’s when he tugs on your sweater, a silence beg for you to remove it and you can’t help but softly chuckle at his tenacious behaviour. “Take ‘em off, my love.”

And you do. The sweater is thrown in the corner of his study, leaving you topless while you straddle your boyfriend. There’s a groan that leaves Bucky as he eyes you down and even despite, god, the amount of times in your lifetime that this man has seen you naked, there’s still a bubbling feel in your stomach and warmth that reaches your cheeks. “Oh my god, Y/n.” Is what he says as his head falls between your boobs.

“I guess you love my boobs more than me.” You fake a frown, chuckling to yourself as you run a hand through his hair. Then there’s another groan from him.

“How can I resist these?” He says, hands on on your waist as he looks up at you from the valley between your chest. Then that’s when he starts. Leaving wet and heavy kisses on the supple skin of your breast, he circles around your nipple, making it blossom due to your arousal. Your head is thrown back, gasping when he takes a nipple into his mouth, teasing it with his teeth and tongue.

“Promise me, Pookie.” He moans, letting you continue. “You’ll talk to Rebecca— Oh, fuck. And - and, you’ll talk to each other like adults. Mmh, no funny business.” You honestly don’t know if he heard you or he was too busy sucking hickeys on your boobs. He just sends you a small hum that vibrates agaisnt your body. But you want an answer from him, a verbal one that doesn’t consists of him being between your tits. So you pull on his scalp, a littler harsher than usual which makes his raise his head.

“Yes, baby, I heard you and I promise. I already called Becca, she was willing to talk.”

You smile, cupping his face and then you lean to press a kiss to his nose. “Good. Till then, I’ll see you tonight for dinner.” With that, you remove yourself off Bucky’s lap and reach for your sweater; putting it over and you peck Bucky’s cheek one last time. “I’ve got half an hour. Can you drive me?”

Bucky looks at you rather shocked and sexually disappointed as he sits there, a bulge in his pants in which you helped create. “Well? Let’s get going.” He rolls his eyes at you when you pull out of his chair, giggling as he throws an arm around you while you lead him to the bedroom to change.

And when finally the two of you leave so he can drop you off at your apartment, of course he manages to tease you in the car as revenge. A hand on your bare thigh as you (aka him) opted to go for the mini dress, rubbing up and down warming your skin.

“How’s your cheek, Pookie? Forgot to ask but you have been icing it regularly, right?” He hums at this, taking your hand in his own. “Good. I heard it takes about a few more days for the bruising to fade. But I know you’ll be fine.” The rest of the car ride is spent in silence, a comfortable one at most and occasionally you’d play the [playlist](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fopen.spotify.com%2Fplaylist%2F68xMWY8ozEQK3z19KrwBE1%3Fsi%3DO3Zmw5ZRTEuQc6OmNe1llg&t=N2IzOGVhNzVmYjlmOWI3ZTM5YWQzOTc1MWJiYTZhZjc0MjZhMzM2ZCxlZTc3NTFhYjk3OTVjOWUwOGFjOWYxZDI4NzlkN2JlYWJmZDNiNWRl) you had made for both you and Bucky but you suppose not today. When you finally see your apartment and the car stops, you turn to face Bucky. “I’ll be back before dinner and I suppose you’ll be at your office for the remainder of the day?” He nods because he has overtime this week and it’s a saturday and as much as he would love to spend the day with you, he’s been called and you’re out with friends. “Okay, I’ll see you later. I love you.” You lean over to kiss him, his hand on your warm cheek and the kiss last a few seconds longer than he had intended. But when he finally pulls away, you smile at him.

“Love you too.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which bucky finally gets the truth of what happened with natasha and his sister

Bucky was surprised when his sister had willingly agreed to meet up with him, let alone pick up his call. Nevertheless, he was thankful that she chose to be mature and talk it out with him like the two adults they are. He had planned a lunch, just as you did with your mother, the next day. He knew she’d be busy as midterms were catching up so he wouldn’t want to take too long of her time. But he also wanted to properly sort this conflict between them and get an an explanation of the scheming she had done that caused his happiness with you.

So when you had stayed over at your place on Sunday, he was unusually thankful for the fact for at least if his sister were to implode, you wouldn’t have to be collateral damage.

To be honest, Bucky can’t help but feel afraid for the truth. He knows he needs it. Especially you. Because he knows that you will be the one needing the truth from your ex best friend. The truth of why she was the reason that Bucky’s past returned.

As the lunch rolls by and he’s waiting at home, sitting by the kitchen island as he looks at some emails in his phone. The time nears around noon and just in time, there’s a knock that echoes in the room. It makes Bucky’s head snap and he jumps off the bar stool to head over to his front door. Swinging it open to reveal his raven haired sister standing before him.

Exchanging soft smiles to throw the awkwardness in the air, Bucky steps aside and wides the door as a signal for her to enter. She does, walking in as if she had still lived here. Her shoes set aside in the shoe rack and she follows her brother into the kitchen area.

“Y/n not here?” She asks, being the first one to break the silence. Once they find a seat, Bucky offers her a drink, she kindly declines, declaiming that she had already ate before she came.

“No, she’s at her place today.”

Rebecca nods, tapping her fingers agaisnt the wooden table. Letting the seconds tick as she silently thinks of what to say but her brother gets there first.

“I just want to know why. That’s all. I don’t want to argue. I just want a simple explanation. Then you can go.” She finds a look of desperation on her brothers face. Maybe a hint of disappointment and sadness but she pushes those thoughts back and she tries to answer him.

“You have to understand, Bucky. My best friend, getting with my brother? I mean, don’t get me wrong. It would be amazing to have my best friend to be my sister-in-law, but you’re you.” There’s a pause, then a look of confusion and the slightest hint of offence on Bucky’s face. But he lets her continue.

“My brother who’s like my dad and my mom all in one. You’re my only family, Bucky. I have no one else but you. Ever since Ma and Pa died, no one. But when Natasha came into your life, I thought maybe ‘hey, I finally have someone to have those girltalk my friends rave about with their moms’. For a while, yeah, I did. Natasha was amazing. I love you but Natasha was a breathe of fresh air into the girl world. I could talk to her about the guys I had crushes on. I could go to her about relationship advice when I hadn’t found Y/n yet. But with Y/n? She’s my age, Bucky.”

Then Bucky’s mouth opens, interrupting his own sister’s explanation. “But shes your best friend. Or was. You guys were so close—”

“But that’s the problem! She’s my best friend! My best friend who I was so close with and found comfort. We talked about boys and our futures together but never did once I thought her future would be with you— A man who’s old enough to be a dad and my brother. What if I dated someone near your age?“

Then there’s a look of disgust that crosses his face. “I’d fucking kill them. You’re my baby sister. I’m not letting some old fuck hurt you, you know this.”

And when she points a finger at him, he doesn’t seem to realize the point she’s making as he’s too blinded by the hypothetical situation. “See! That’s how I feel. Whenever I see you and Y/n together, all I can feel is this disgust and betrayal. I feel betrayed by the fact that my own best friend didn’t even bother to tell me. I had to found out myself because the two of you hadn’t been careful. My relationship with Y/n was ruined because she chose you over me.”

At this point, Bucky feels guilt hit him in the chest because Rebecca has a point. She had made clear points and it hurts him, as her brother, that she had felt this way. That she even though she had him, she still felt lonely in some way because of the lack of mother figure in her life. That’s why she cherished Natasha because for once, she had someone to gossip with and feel like the motherly love she had been yearning.

And when they had finally moved in the neighborhood and she had found you, he took that away for his own selfish reasons because he couldn’t keep it in his pants.

So he frowns, finally understanding the villainy of his own sister’s behaviour.

“But why did you do it? Why did you call Natasha back?”

Rebecca scoffs, internally laughing at her brother for still not getting the obvious. “I called Natasha because I wanted both my best friend and the closest thing to a mom back. Plus, she had made you so happy in your marriage, I thought you’d be happy to see her and possibly fix what the two of you had. At first, I thought it was working because the two of you had found your way to each other. But it was just sex and I knew you fell for her and there was absolutely nothing else I could do.”

There’s a silence that lets Bucky absorb in the information his sister is letting in. He wants to get mad at her, he really does but instead he feels bad. The fact that he’s failed as her only family to put in her morally in the right path saddens him. All Rebecca wanted was someone to trust. A shoulder to cry on. Y/n came along but went when she had chosen him, just as Rebecca said.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I took Y/n from you. But my marriage with Natasha wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns. She left for LA because she didn’t believe in our marriage anymore. She chose to a future without me and her. She shouldn’t have came back. I’m sorry, Becca, but that wasn’t your decision and I understood your intention but it wasn’t your decision on whether I should get back together with her or not. You’re my sister. All I want is your happiness and I’m sorry if I took Y/n away from you. But please, don’t take my own happiness away from me.”

There’s a scoff that leaves Rebecca, as if she were offended by the thought of her brother that she would ruin his life because of her pettiness. To be fair, she believes he deserves it but he’s the only family she has left and as angry she is, she doesn’t want to ruin anything left with her relationship with Bucky. So perhaps she truly was in the wrong calling Natasha. But she wasn’t going to apologize for wanting her best friend back.

“You’re my brother, Bucky. All I want is you to be happy as well. And as much as I tried to give you that, calling Natasha was wrong. All I wanted was Y/n back and I’m sorry I fucked it up for the both of you. I guess my own anger clouded my judgment. I don’t want to be the villain of your story. But I’m just looking out for you.”

Bucky’s face physically softens. His own heart warming up again for his sister. He truly can’t get mad at her. After all, she is family and the only one he has left. He’s not going to forgive easily, even with her. She did practically set him up for failure with his relationship with Y/n. He’s not saying that him cheating wasn’t his fault because he knows it is. He chose to kiss Natasha back. That was all him. But perhaps if Natasha never came that night, he would’ve never done what he did.

But he’s choosing to put Natasha behind and what happened and learn to forgive the past.

“I know, Becca. I understand. And though, you have to understand I’m not going to forgive you instantly. I love you, you’re my baby sister and the only family I have left. But you have to realize what you did was incredibly wrong. I understand it on my part but there’s someone else who may need some help understanding why you did what you did.”

Her face pinches in confusion. But it unravels when she finally understands what her brother means. She doesn’t know, if she’s being honest. She knows what she’ll say. Knows what she has to explain. But its your answer that’s scaring her in to reluctance.

“Are you sure? I don’t think she’ll want to see me, let alone hear the shit I have to say.”

There’s a chuckle that comes out of Bucky. One that makes Rebecca blush in embarrassment.

“She will once she sees you. Besides, it’s been a while since you’ve properly talked to her anyways. I think she’ll appreciate what you have to say. C’mon.” He throws an arm around his sister, pulling her close to his side.

—

Your apartment isn’t unfamiliar with Bucky but it’s not a place where he’s used to. He’s been here with you a handful of times, dropping and picking you off for varies occasions. But he’s never stayed no longer a few minutes.

Now, well, now. He’s with his sister and he knows he’s gonna stay longer than a few minutes. So when he arrives at your apartment complex, entering the hallway and stopping by your door, he expects you to be behind the other when he knocks. But when it’s not you but it’s Kate, he seems confused and so does Rebecca.

“Bucky! Hi!” He doesn’t miss a beat to greet her back, knowing it would he quite impolite to ignore her kind gesture. “Oh, I take you’re his sister.” Kate’s attention is brought to the other Barnes sibling. In which she nods, confusedly.

“I don’t want to be rude but can I talk to Y/n?”

Kate’s face falls. Thinking that she knew where her best friend’s whereabouts were yet now, she seems clueless as she had thought you had gone back to Bucky’s home early. “I’m sorry. She went out. She didn’t say where so I assumed she went back to your place.”

“No, I was supposed to–”

“Pookie? Becca?”

All head collectively snap to the sound of your voice. Startled and confused looks on all of their faces. But that’s not what catches your attention, its the fact that both your boyfriend and his sister is standing outside of your apartment waiting for your return when none of them should even know that you were out.

“Where have you been? I thought you went back to Bucky’s.”

“And I thought you were staying at your place.”

So there you stood, a paper bag clutched in your hand as your closest friends wait for an answer on your whereabouts. Your eyes lock with Bucky’s own, a pleading look swimming in them as he stares back at you.

“Uh — I - I went out to grab a bite. Heh, got a sandwich and a bagel by the deli down the street.” There’s a pregnant pause before you step towards Bucky, stepping on the tip of your toes to press a kiss on his cheek. Snaking an arm around your waist, to pull you close. He reciprocates and gifts you a kiss to your forhead. Nevertheless, thankful that you’re here, safe. Your attention is turned back to the rest of your friends, or may you say guest. “So, anyways, enough about me, what’re you doing here?”

Kate sends you a look, one that you take that you’re in for a surprise; seeing that Rebecca is here and we all know what that means. “Um - So do you want to come in or…”

“No, it’s fine, Kate. We don’t want to impose on you and America’s privacy.” Bucky sends your best friend off and you give her a look of worry. Thankfully, she’s just a door away, quite literally.

When it’s just the three of you alone in your hallway, you turn to Rebecca, waiting for someone to break the ice because you, well, you have nothing else to say to the girl who ratted your affair to your family.

“I know I’m the last person you’d want to hear from me—”

“Yeah, you’re quite right about that.” The harsh words spill from your mouth before you can even try to contain them. And though, you’re not one to show your distaste towards people who done you wrong because you’re always trying to be the bigger person. It’s hard to when the person you thought who’d be by your side ghosts and betrays you years later. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have. Please, continue.”

Rebecca sends you a tight lipped smile, it’s forced but there’s some genuiness hidden in it. “No, it’s fine. I deserved it— Probably even more, if we’re being honest. But you’ve done nothing but shown me kindness even though I’ve done the opposite and all I want to do is apologize for what I did. I know an apology won’t fix the bumps that I caused in your relationship with Bucky and your parents but I wanted to explain myself.”

“It was true that I did call Natasha. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you when I did. I suppose that our friendship had drown that all I had in my mind was to get my best friend back. I really didn’t want to hurt you, Y/n. I just wanted my best friend back and I’m not expecting you to forgive me because, hell, I wouldn’t even forgive myself. But I just want you to know that my actions weren’t because I wanted to rain hell on your life. I thought I was doing something that I thought was right when I called Natasha and ratted you out. Which now, I clearly see isn’t right.”

Then there’s another pause, which concerns Bucky in the moment. His head looking down at you, waiting for your reply to his sister. When in fact, you’re just trying to collect your thoughts. To you, it made sense now. Why Rebecca has acted out. After all, you were dating her brother which already made it weird at that point. You suppose you felt bad for her. She grew up without a mom. She’s the closest thing to a sister you’ve had and honestly, you weren’t entirely mad at her. You were disappointed. Saddened by her own actions.

“Thank you for being mature enough to talk about this, Becca. But I’m not pleased with what you did. I know it’s in the past and that me and Bucky still ended up but you have to understand and think of your actions. It was quite selfish of you and if you wanted me back, all you had to do was talk to me. You were the one who ghosted me. I didn’t push any further because I know what you were like. You also had no right ratting our affair out like that. I’m sorry if I may sound harsh, but this isn’t something I can forgive easily. I understand why you did it but it was very toxic of you to do. I just hope this time you keep your thoughts and opinions to yourself and respect that me and your brother are together and we are happy.”

Rebecca seems flushed. She just got told off by her brother’s girlfriend, who was also her ex-best friend but she deserves it. She’s caused you and Bucky a lot of pain that isn’t going to be forgiven so easily. “I understand. And I’ve matured, I mean, I’m still not entirely pleased but I will respect your relationship and let you guys be happy.”

There’s a hand that rubs circles on your back, bringing you the comfort you’ve been needing all day from Bucky. “Forgiveness isn’t easy but the best thing we can do is move on. We can’t forgive if we’re still latching on to the past.” Bucky’s words sends warmth to your heart and it makes you smile at him.

“I agree and I’m actually glad that I’ve talked it out with you guys. It’d be so awkward on the holidays. Though, I really hate to leave so suddenly but I better get going. I only had an hour to spare before I have to return to the library with some friends and I didn’t plan on coming here today, so…” The brunette stares down at her smart watch, eyes slightly wide at the fact that she had realized she stayed longer than she needed to. She pops her head back up and sends the two of you an apologetic look which you wave off, telling her she should go as Bucky and you are off to be somewhere as well.

When she’s finally gone and it’s just the two of you and Bucky in the hallway, he turns to you with a grin that reaches his ear. It perks your interests as why he’s so content. “What?”

“I’m proud of us.” His hands find themselves cupping your cheek, a thumb caressing your warm cheek and you can’t help but melt to his touch. His eyes radiate the same love you hold for him yet you’re hesitant to lean in. So instead you give him a smile.

“Me too.”

With that, he lowers his hands down, keeping them by your waist as he analyzes you. He finds soemthing rather odd in your response. Usually, you’re all over him, excited to see him as if you haven’t done so in a long time. But there’s no sparkle, no genuineness in your eyes and it worries him. He doesn’t want to press your button nor ruin the moment, so maybe he’ll wait until you open up to him about the thing that’s worrying you. “Say, how about we get out of here, leave those two idiots in love and get lunch? For all I know, a bagel and a sandwich from a deli isn’t enough.”

“I’d love that.” He smiles at your response, leaning in to peck your cheek, making you giggling as his beard tickles your skin. It makes you turn to him, eyes turns into slits as seriousness takes over you. “Don’t you ever shave again.”

“Yes, ma’am.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the unfortunate happens and the cops are involved.

Bucky’s day had gone well. The start of his week has been great, thanks to yesterday’s (Sunday) events which honestly helped his mood. He had felt like everything was going right. That everything was on the right path and his relationship with you was sailing it’s course.

Of course he doesn’t forget the fact that you’ve been sort of distant with him last night. Clear by the fact that you didn’t cuddle with him before bed as you usually would. Instead, you had simply kissed him and greeted him a goodnight before you snuggled on your side of his bed. He frowned but still giving you the control and being patient until you tell him yourself.

He’s been hoping you do that soon. To be honest, he’s a little confused with your behaviour. It doesn’t seem right as the two of you just reached a milestone in your relationship; telling the parents and talking out with family. You should be happy, he thinks. Which, on most occasions, he can tell you are. He knows with the subtle ways you show it. But you’re not nearly as content as you were before.

But those thoughts are pushed back as he’s picking you up from work today. He hasn’t done that in a while, seeing that last week was filled with overtime since Stark had bombarded him with dozens of files and cases he had to look over.

Now that was over. His week of stressful times are over and he can finally spend his afternoons picking you up from your work. He really hates you taking the subway. Plus, his firm isn’t too far from where you are. (If you consider a drive from Tribeca to Yorkville isn’t too far.)

He was right. After pulling his car over by the entrance of the Chapin, the all-girls school you work at, not even five minutes later, he catches you walking out of the lobby. A bag in your hand and your dress flows with the wind. He has always admired you in a dress. It always seem to swell out your beautiful curves.

Your first instinct is always to look out for Bucky’s car. It’s a black Mercedes and you know it’s his when his window is pulled down because he once told you, he loves admiring you whether it’s near or far. It’s become a habit to look for his car, as he’s always driving you back home. But last week was difficult as you knew he’d be stuck at the firm and you’d have to take the subway by yourself.

So when you catch his eye, a smile bursts on your face and you quicken your steps as you rush around his car to get to the passenger side.

When you’re seated, you do the first thing you always do when you see Bucky. A nice quick kiss on his lips, which always turns into something a little longer than you intended but you’re not complaining. You’re always the first one to pull back, defending that you don’t want to get stuck in traffic because of a silly kiss.

“Hi, pookie.”

“Hi, angel.”

You’d smile and he’d drive away. With you usually plug in the AUX cord, streaming the songs you had added to his playlist. Humming as you kept a hand on Bucky’s own that sat itself on your thigh.

As the drive continues, occasionally, Bucky turns to you, a smile on his face in which you’d reciprocate. The two of you speak of your day. Either complaining or boasting about what had happened. But something else sat on your tongue. A topic that’s been sitting in your head all day yesterday. You should be angry, but it’s just been recent news so you’re giving benefit of the doubt and biting your tongue.

“How was your day, darling?”

You sigh, knowing today wasn’t really a good day for you because, c’mon, it’s a monday. Aside from the dreadful day of the week, it has been difficult as you’d been working with some behavioural issues with some children that’s really making it hard to tackle. “Honestly? Not great. I’ve been working with this one kid all of last week, she’s got some behavioural issues that we’re trying to help with but she’s refusing to cooperate. I really hate talking to the parents when they’re not big of an issue but I might just have to do it this week.

Bucky frowns. He doesn’t really quite know what you do on specifics as a role of a social worker in a school but the sounds of it, it’s more than what he assumed and it’s taking a toll on you.

His hand rubs against your thigh, up and down as a way of comforting you. “I’m sorry, darling. It’s probably the best to get the parents involved. They should be able to get the help their daughter with the way you’re helping theirs. You’re doing the best you can.”

You simply smile at him. “Thank you, pookie. How about you? How was your day?”

“It was fine—” The buzzing of a phone catches both of your attentions. “Oh, hold on. Can you answer my phone, hate for us to die right now.”

You roll your eyes at him, earning a small chuckle as you snatch his phone from the cup holder. The contact ID claims to be Sam, so you answer for him. “Hello? No, it’s Y/n but he’s driving. I can take the message.”

His words leave you surprised and confused to say the least. It’s clear by the expression on your face and it worries Bucky. And as soon as the information is given, you hang up on the phone and turn to Bucky.

“What is it?”

“We have to go back to your office. The police are looking for you.”

—

You have never, in your whole life, experienced an encounter with the law. You’ve never broken one so why would you? Well… That’s a lie, you had illegally consumed alcohol and maybe a little weed. Okay, so maybe you never encountered the police because you never got caught. Nevertheless, you nibbled one your bottom lip, peeling the skin off as a nervous tick. Wondering why would they need Bucky.

Your questions are soon to be answered as Bucky parks his car. The sound of the silence of the engine setting you back into reality and away from you negative thoughts. When he exits his car, you follow along, holding his hand with an iron grip.

“What do you think could this be?” You ask, meekly, afraid almost. Bucky doesn’t seem pleased at the moment. His jaw is locked and there’s a pinch between his eyebrows and a scowl on his face.

“I don’t know. This has to be some bullshit.”

The two of you enter the elevator, pressing the 18th button and the two of you wait. With each ding of every floor, your heart fucking beats out of your chest. You wonder what Bucky would have done to get the police involved? Perhaps it’s from a case, tampered with some evidence? You don’t know but you know Bucky is innocent. This man doesn’t even lay a hand on a fly, let alone a human being.

But the final ding echoes and the elevator door opens. You follow him through the lobby and down the corridor and into the main room where you can see Sam and an officer or two. The rest of the office look at you and Bucky when the two of you enter the floor. Fortunate enough, you don’t seem to see her.

“For the love of God, Sam. Please tell me why the fucking police are looking for me.”

There’s a panic to Sam’s face, it’s not extreme as he’s hiding his fear but it’s there and it worries you.

“I don’t know. They came in looking for you. I asked, they said you’re being accused of something serious. They said they couldn’t say more until you come.”

Your hand free hand reaches for Bucky’s arm, wrapping themselves around his muscles and you look across the room, catching the way the officers are talking amongst themselves. Then he moves, bringing you along with him. Soon enough, the officers catch him and turn to his direction, all of them assuming that this must be the suspect.

“I’m assuming that you’re James Buchanan Barnes and Y/n L/n.” One of the men in the uniform ask. A hand on their belts, near the gun and it frightens you on why they need to do that. When he calls your name, it surprises you how you’re suddenly involved. It’s clear Bucky is thinking the same as his eyes flicker down to you for a brief moment of confusion.

“We are and what’s the problem here?”

“Sir, please step away from the girl. You’re being accused of kidnapping and raping a minor, who is Y/n L/n. We have to take you both into the precinct for questioning and Miss Y/l/n, you’ll need to call a parent or a guardian.”

His words send you into shock. It literally feels like you’ve been punched and it’s making you dizzy. So you look at him with wide eyes and so does Sam. His head snapping back to both you and Bucky and then to the officer.

“Excuse me? I didn’t kidnap or rape, Y/n. She’s a fucking adult for fucks sake. Who in the world fucking accused me of some bullshit.” At this point, Bucky’s blood is boiling. His voice is rising and to be honest, you’ve never heard or seen him like this and it’s truly frightening.

“We can’t release any names, sir. But if you are saying the truth—”

“Because I fucking am.”

“—We would like to see some sort of government issued ID from the both ofo you.” He turns to you. It takes you a few seconds to be brought back to reality and to the fact that Bucky is literally being accused of kidnapping and raping you. “Miss?”

“Oh! Right. Yes, I have a driver’s license here and a security card, if you want.” You’re practically digging through your bag, cursing to yourself for not cleaning the shit inside sooner because with your hand shaking and your anxiety rising, it’s really making it difficult. But when you finally find your wallet and pull out your ID, you hand it to the officer who then gives it to his partner. He disappears, probably checking if you’re actually a real person or not.

You stick by Bucky’s side, his arm around your shoulder as you lean into him. “I wonder which psychopath path is crazy enough to do shit.” His question makes you think. Then it hits you. It’s your father. Who else knew about your relationship aside from Kate and America and family? No one. And by the way your father reacted at dinner, he has to be the one who called the cops. It only makes sense.

“It’s my dad. It has to be him.” Your words perk interest in Bucky. His head peering down at you in question.

“Are you sure? I mean, I’m not pleased with him as well with everything that. has happened but I don’t think blaming him would do our relationship any good, Y/n.”

“No, it’s him. If he doesn’t miss a beat punching you for sleeping with his daughter. He won’t hesitate to call the cops. I know my dad, Buck. The man is fucking insane.”

Bucky is quite unsure, if he’s being honest. But logically? You’re not wrong. Your father has always been incredibly protective of you. He rarely lets you even go out on dates when boys have asked you out. The only time he had let you done that was prom. It only makes sense that someone knew where Bucky worked and knew that you were dating him in order to set him up as if he were taking advantage of you.

It makes you so angry to think of how selfish your father can be. You understand that’s just the protective side of him but it angers you that he took it so far as to calling the police on your boyfriend and then accusing him of such heinous acts.

“I can’t fucking believe him. God! You would fucking think that a 45 year old man would be mature! Apparently, not my father. He’s - He’s just so—”

By surprise, Sam pops in. A look of his own confusion on his face. “Wait a damn minute. You and Bucky are together? This is the girl you were so helplessly in love with? Y/f/n’s daughter?”

Bucky looks at him as if to shut him up. You’re quite taken back with the information Sam let out but you stay quiet, letting Bucky do the talking to his friend.

“We were going to tell you soon. But I guess you already found out. And, yes, we are together but if you can’t respect that like some people, then just back away, Wilson, and keep your thoughts inside that head of yours.”

Sam’s eyes turn to you, surprised at the fact that his own best friend just told him off. You’re shocked as well because Sam is one of Bucky’s closest friends. Much closer than your father. Sam, along with Steve, were friends back then in college and still is by now. They’re like brothers and so it shocks you that Bucky told off Sam.

“No, man. I’m just surprised. Didn’t expect the girl you were with to be so …”

“Young? Youthful?” You let out, head tilted at him.

“Uh - Yeah.”

You giggle. Your Uncle Sam has always been your favourite. He was funny and down right an idiot on some occasions but overall? He’s this very kind man who’s very understanding and who has a big heart. So it didn’t really bother you that he found out because you trust him to keep a secret. “It’s okay. I know our relationship is a little unorthodox but it’s just like any regular relationship.” You look up to Bucky, a smile on your face which he softly reciprocates. “But some people, like my father, can’t fucking understand nor respect that. Speaking of him, I have to call him after this.”

Soon enough, the officer returns and hands you back your ID. He whispers something into his partner’s ear and they discuss something for a little while before turning to the two of you. “I’m sorry, miss, for the confusion and to you as well, sir. You’re free to leave.”

“Thank you.” You turn to Bucky, waiting for his decision and he nods. He then turns to Sam, jaw locked set and you know he’s still mad about this whole thing. So are you. You find it fucking ridiculous that Bucky was even accused of these acts. But it’s your father who’s fueling the anger in you. Usually, you’d let him slide, with whatever father tactic he used to scare your past boyfriends but this was on a whole nother level and you weren’t going to tolerate this behaviour.

“We’ll be off. Make sure they get out of the office soon.” Sam nods to this and the two of you are off.

While in the elevator, waiting for it to reach the basement floor, you lean into Bucky’s side. A sigh of relief escapes from you, hoping that the rest of your day isn’t absolute shit because this whole scenario has already ruined it.

He has an arm around you, pulling you close as the two of you finally exit the elevator and make your way to the car. The small journey is silent, making you review your thoughts on your father. It’s until Bucky separates from your grip that brings you back, he looks at your unfazed emotion with concern. “Y/n, get in the car.”

You follow, sitting yourself in the passenger seat and placing your seatbelt. The engine of the car roars and Bucky pulls out of the parking space, his hand once again on your thigh brings you back to reality. You turn to him, there’s a subtle upturn of his lips.

“I’m sorry if my father is being such a dickhead. I’ll talk to him, I promise. I’m so tired of this bullshit. I just want a week where nothing bad happens. First the dinner, second Rebecca, and now this?”

“Hey, hey. I agree, this was a shit show and you’re father is a dick for doing this. But don’t stress about it too much. We’re fine. I didn’t get arrested. We’ll talk about it when we get home, okay? Don’t stress out too much, darling.”

You huff, crossing your arms in anger. Bucky only laughs, squeezing the supple flesh of your thigh.

—

Bucky sits on his couch, trying to focus on the episode of Gossip Girl he was trying to catch up on. But the yelling from the kitchen is making it difficult to understand what Blair Waldorf is scheming about.

It’s his fault, if he’s being honest, he knows how you get when you’re mad. Especially when it’s towards your father. So he has to hear the way foreign curses fall, profanity staining your innocent lips.

“You’re actually fucking insane, you know that? You can’t control everything in my fucking life, Papa. Not even with money! Stop giving me numbers! I don’t want your tainted money, god.”

He hears some more yelling, groaning, and then suddenly it becomes quiet. There’s a loud stomping that gets louder and he turns to catch you striding your way to the couch with a scowl on your face. “What did he say?”

“He offered me money to break up with you! Can you fucking believe him?! When I told him no, he continued to tell me that all you’re ever going to do is take advantage of me! He said some other shit about how he should’ve never trusted you and how he called me a slut and - and, how he tried to justify this because he was protecting me! God! I just, he’s so fucking stubborn. Then, oh my god, this is the funniest part. He fucking tells me we’re over. Cutting me, his own daughter, off from my own family.” You feel him pulling on your arm softly, asking you to sit down with him but you’re not in the mood. With everything that’s been going on, your father and the news you’ve recently heard, everything feels like shit. “I need a fucking nap.”

Bucky frowns at this. He’s upset too at the fact that the man who he thought could trust him would go as far as calling the police on him for dating his daughter. He can understand if he were upset and refused to talk to him but this was a new low for him.

So he watches you stomp into his room, not even bothering to look back at him and the door slams shut. Not even a few minutes later, he can hear the shower running.

Bucky decides to busy his mind with some work, pulling his laptop, he looks through some emails and finds the one he’s been looking at for the past week. He moves along because he knows looking at that assignment won’t do him any good so he chooses to catch up with missed work instead.

In his mind, he’s been wondering how to tell you. It’s not going to be pretty, but he knows either way, you’re going to find out. It’s only a matter of time when he’s going to tell you. With everything going on, he doesn’t think he’ll get to do it soon. But he has to before it’s too late.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which bucky takes the reader shopping and as much as she loves gifts, she’s not fond of this one and to make things worse, they run into someone who they’re also not fond of.

As eventful as Monday was, Bucky still managed to bring joy into your life. As you laid asleep on his bed, mouth open and pillow between your legs, a pinch between your eyebrows as you feel asleep angry. Bucky woke you up for dinner by softly kissing your shoulder, his prickly beard tingling your sensitive skin making you shift around the bed. He whispered soft words into your ears, making your eyes flutter open and you turn to him with still nearly closed eyes.

“Wake up, my love. You’ve got to eat dinner.”

You simply groaned and hid your head under the pillow. He chuckled, running a finger down your spine.

“C’mon. You’ve got to eat something. You’ve been sleeping all evening.”

You rolled your eyes at him, exaggerating your actions. “What’s so wrong with sleeping? Better than having to deal with my psychopath of a father.” Clearly, you’re still upset about the whole situation, he frowns.

When you refuse to get out of bed, he has to force you by picking you bridal style. It scares the shit out of you when he suddenly scoops your body into his arms with ease. Forgetting sometimes that Bucky is a 200lb man with pure muscle.

As you continued to squeal in his arms, he finally put you down on the chair. A scowl on your face as your arms are crossed. “You have to eat. Plus, I have something planned for us this Friday. So, forget about the cops and your father and focus on my salmon and eat up.”

You listened. Shamefully munching on his delicious food. A smile on his face as he watches you finish your plate in nearly 15 minutes. After dinner, the two of you spent lounging around in the living room. Nearly passing out as you laid your head on Bucky’s lap. The sound of Criminal Minds playing in the back as Bucky carries you back into the bedroom.

Now bringing you to Friday. You’ve somehow managed to get through the week without bursting into a full mental breakdown thinking of what your father did and had said to you. Those hurtful and degrading words you had never thought he’d say to his daughter. But he did and those were all the things that stuck in your mind all week.

On some occasions you had forgotten what the drama over the past week. In other words, Bucky would fuck it out of you, making you forget it through multiple orgasm that would for sure make the teachers at the school question your walk. Although, as much as you loved Bucky and the sex, you’d spent the post-orgasm state laying your head on his chest thinking of what you could’ve done wrong.

“Angel?” Bucky’s voice has brought you back to reality, the place you dreaded most. But you turn to him, eyes distant and Bucky can sense the difference in your face now.

He had thought your behaviour on Sunday was peculiar but throughout the week it had just been more obvious. He thought it was the fight about your father, it mostly was but there was something definitely more than that and you were refusing to talk to him.

“Mmh?”

“We’re here. Are you ready to go?”

You merely blink at him, realizing that the two of you planned to go out for the rest of the afternoon as Bucky said he had a surprise for you. You didn’t know what so you went along with it.

“Oh! Right.” Your head swings around, a little confused on where you are. “Uh, where are we?”

He chuckles, clicking your seatbelt off and stepping out of the car. You follow along, his hand pulling you with him. His car is parked by the side of the road, a special spot for parking and you watch as Bucky pays the overpriced parking ticket. 25$ for just two hours. It amazes you how this man can easily spend 25$ on a parking ticket when you don’t even bother paying for a coffee that’s over 3$.

“This doesn’t seem like Brooklyn.”

He turns to you, handing you the piece of paper to place on the windshield of his car. When you finally do that, he swings an arm around your shoulder and pulls you flush against him. Feeling the soft italian cotton of his Dior suit touch your skin. “It’s because it’s not. We’re on Fifth Avenue.”

There’s a raise of your eyebrows when he says that. You know what Fifth Avenue is. It’s New York’s famous and finest shopping street where the higher up you went in the city, the more high-end designer stores were. And by the looks of it, you were definitely up in the city.

“Bucky…”

“Y/n…”

You giggled at his face, still a little confused why you’re here when you should be at home on your laptop doing work, with Bucky occasionally annoying you with his begging for cuddles. But instead, you’re entering a Gucci store which makes you turn your head in confusion. The security guard opening the door for the two of you as one of the poshly dressed store clerks greets you with a smile.

Bucky seems to know his way around. And while he’s leading you to god knows where, your eye catches the curiosity of some of the hand bags and clothes. But those thoughts are quickly pushed away as you don’t have the money to buy them nor are they necessities anyways.

“You know, Pookie, I didn’t take you as a Gucci type of guy. Do they even sell guy stuff here? Seems unlikely if we’re—”

“That’s why we’re here for you.”

Your face pinches at his words. A small laugh falls from your lips as you look around your surroundings. Items worth hundreds, if not thousands. His hands placed on your shoulders and there stood a mirror in front of you. Looking back at your reflection, there’s a smile on Bucky’s face as he leans his head down. “Why don’t you try on something for me?”

With a lip stuck between your teeth, you looked at him with a grin. His hands squeezing your waist and turning on your heel, your arms swung around his neck. “You’re a menace, you know that?”

“If it gets you naked in a store, so be it.” Rolling your eyes, you slap his chest playfully.

“Oh, please. I’m just trying on some clothes that I’m not even gonna buy. If you really want me naked, you should’ve taken me home.”

“You’re not buying anything because I am.”

You take a step back, surprised by his words. You know Bucky’s pockets are quite full, the three thousand dollar suit he’s wearing proves it. And as much as you adore these designer things, you don’t find use in them. Plus, you really hate it when people spend money on you, especially if it’s your boyfriend.

“Uh, no you’re not.”

“Uh, yes I am.”

You roll your eyes at him, not wanting to have this conversation again. You’ve already had it once nearly two weeks ago. And as a sigh leaves your lips, your hands fall from his neck and you cross them while staring back at Bucky with an unamused face.

“We’re not doing this again, Bucky.”

_Ouch_. It’s gone to nicknames to just names now and Bucky knows he shouldn’t push any further but he doesn’t listen. Instead, his jaw clenched and his eyebrows scrunch. “Not doing what?”

“This! You know how I feel about you spending money on me.”

“But I love spending money on you. I thought I was doing something nice.”

Sighing, you rub your face in frustration. Bucky doesn’t really know why you’re getting super worked up about this. He supposes it’s more than the topic of him spending money on you. It’s definitely more than that.

“And I appreciate that but you have to understand that I don’t need your money, Bucky. My father already has a lot of it and I don’t need him or you paying me off. So I’m perfectly fine and you insisting on doing this is so frustrating!”

“Why are you getting so worked up about this? Just tell me don’t spend anymore money and that’s it. You don’t have to yell at me for no reason.”

“I’m not fucking yelling! I’m just telling you!” Bucky stares you wide eyes, you’ve never really yelled at him before, well at least not in a way that was supposed to be intended at him. He wants to say something back, snap back at you but he knows better this time and he knows to shut up. So he chooses to be quiet and thinks that it’s better for the two of you to go home.

Today was supposed to be a good day. One where Bucky took you out in the city, probably went shopping and headed out to a restaurant to eat a little something before dinner. Instead, the two of you are standing in a Dolce and Gabbana store yelling at each other and not realizing the worry looks of the store clerks.

And as if it couldn’t get worse, Bucky had just spotted your aunt in the store. Her eyes catches his own and she’s already striding towards the two of you, not knowing what she’s going to get herself into.

“Bucky!” Her blonde hair is up in an old fashioned half up do. Her makeup is natural, but it’s enough hat it defines her looks. As for her clothes, she’s wearing a black body con dress that surely hugs her curves. For a 50 year old woman, she doesn’t entirely look bad. But that isn’t what Bucky is focusing on. It’s the fact that your aunt, the one who’s been openly homophobic in the past and still is, is making her way towards him. Luckily, she doesn’t know about your sexuality.

The obvious call of Bucky’s name catches your attention, making your head snap up to look at Bucky with a questioning look. He points with his eyes, somehow you get it and see the blonde making her way. Your eyes widening as well.

“Aunt Cece?”

She engulfs you in a hug, one that takes you by surprise that it makes you gasp. There’s a look of amusement on Bucky’s face as you get smushed by your aunt’s hug.

Thankfully you can finally breathe when she pulls back. A smile on her face and you have to force one on your face. “Jesus, you’re so big now. Last time I saw you, you were like four. How old are you now?”

“23.”

She gasps, cupping your face as she turns her head to talk to Bucky. “She’s so big.” Chuckling, she turns her attention back to you, squeezing your cheeks and it makes you scowl your face slightly at the pressure of her fingers. “What’re you both doing here? How’s your father?”

“Uh, I’m with Bucky for the day. As for Papa, we’re not really on talking terms.”

She frowns and you know what she’s going to ask next. “Awh, why? Do I need to kick his ass again like when we were kids?” Chuckling, she seems to find her joke funny, so you have to laugh with her. You can see Bucky trying to hold in a laugh because he’s finding the way you’re forcing the laugh out of you too funny.

“Uh, ahah, no need. But he’s not fond of whom I’m dating at the moment, so, we’re not really communicating.”

Bucky watches as your eyes flicker down to the floor, your fingers fiddling with each other the way they always do whenever you’re anxious about something. He’s told you off so many things about that because the habit is bad for your skin. You try not to do it as often but right now, your Aunt is really setting the bar high. And as much as he’s finding the interaction between your Aunt and you, he knows you’re very much uncomfortable about the topic with your father and should probably interfere.

So he does. Stepping to your side but doesn’t go further than a mere touch to your shoulder. “Hey, maybe we should go.” But Aunt Cece seems to ignore Bucky’s words and pushes further.

“Oh, you’re dating someone, are they cute?”

Bucky doesn’t like Cece, he never had, if he’s being honest. He remembers quite often the times she had flirted with him even when he was married to Natasha. She was quite the philanderer and your father often was open about how he was expecting more than five failed marriages from his older sister. And also not to mention the fact she’s openly homophobic and agaisnt the LGTBQ+ community which is the reason why your family never really contacts her.

So he knows that there’s no good coming out of staying a second longer with Cece and he decides it’s better if the two of you leave.

“Hate to break it you you, Cecilia, but Y/n and I are together and we really have to leave.” And just as Bucky is about to walk off with you, Cece places a hand on your shoulder pulling you back. Which did nothing but upset Bucky even more. He doesn’t miss the way her eyes are wide open in shock and in disgust. He doesn’t seem to care as he just sends her a glare that she merely dismisses.

“Y/n, if he’s taking advantage of you, you have to tell me. I can call the police and help—”

“I don’t need the police involved nor your help, Aunt Cece. I’m perfectly fine with Bucky, which you clearly aren’t. So if you would excuse us, I would like to go home.” Not even stuttering or batting an eye, you turn away and start walking and Bucky can’t help but smile to himself as he follows you out of the store.

The drive back home is silent. Which is really unusual as you either had the radio on or you hummed to a song. But instead the only thing in the car that’s making noise is the clicking of the signal lights every time Bucky made a turn.

Hell, you even moved your knees against the door and leaned your head against it. And every once in a while along the ride, he’d catch the grimace you were sporting on your face. Even though he had the thought of Cece in his head and how she assumed and accused him of taking advantage of you, he worried more about why you were so mad at him for taking you out shopping.

He knew you hated having money spent on you but he guessed it wouldn’t hurt to do it once? Clearly, he was wrong because you had just yelled at him in the middle of a store. Yelling at him that he was, and he quotes, “trying to pay you off” as if you were some object that could be bought.

He should talk to you, well, not now as he knows arguing in a car won’t end well. So he waits until he pulls up in his parking lot, the sound of the car turning off and when he turns you’re already gone and marching your way into his home.

Sighing, he follows you along and prepares for you to slam a door or something. Knowing you, you’re quite the stubborn one and so arguing won’t help the situation.

So he just heads to the living room, turning the TV on to the news while he goes to the kitchen to get a glass of water. He heard padded steps as you step into the kitchen and walk past him, already changed into your pyjamas. Without sparing a word, you reach for a glass in the cupboard making your shirt rise up to reveal your love handles. Bucky watches carefully as you head over to the fridge and press the glass against the water dispenser and stand there till it’s full.

He can’t take the silence. It’s literally been only about eight minutes since the two of you have been home and it’s been too long and he wants to talk to you.

“Can you not ignore me?” He asks, which sounded more like beg.

“What? Just the way you ignore what I said and went against what I wanted? Um, no, I don’t think so.” Then you’re off to the bedroom, a glass of water in your hand.

Bucky doesn’t push because he’s not stupid and he knows this will end up to be something more than an argument about spending money. So as you’re in the room, doing god knows what, he’s doing some work in his laptop.

When an hour and a half passes by, his home is awfully quiet and he decides to check on you. His steps are small and fragile as if he were afraid to wake you up. In all honesty, he is. As he opens the door, he peeks his head first before he steps in. There you say in his bed, against the headboard with a book in your hand. Your eyes look up through your hooded lids and your brows scrunch in annoyance.

“Can I come in?” He asks, a little ironic that he’s asking permission to enter his own bedroom.

Placing your book down, your arms go crossed against your chest as you properly look at him this time. “Whatever.”

He does. Walking slowly over the other side of the bed, opposite from you. Sitting himself on the edge, he looks at you. But you refuse to look back.

“What’s going on?” He catches how your eyes look at him from the corner. “I know this can’t just be about the fact that I wanted to spend money on you. Was it because of Aunt Cece?” Yet, again, no answer. He wonders what’s going on inside of that head of yours.

Well, in fact, while Bucky tried to get an answer from you, you thought of a way of trying not to obliterate this man into pieces. Yeah, he was right, it was more than the fact that he wanted to spend money on you. It was the fact that he was lying and still is and won’t tell you the truth from him. So you’re stuck with the information and you’re still waiting for him to finally tell you himself. And it’s not going great as with every passing day, your patience for this man is wearing off bit by bit.

It was also the fact that you had a run in with your Aunt Cece, the family relative you had liked the least. She was superficial and as much as you hated it, your father was right. All she did was marry for money and divorce her husbands to find a new one to leech off. Plus, she doesn’t support the LGBTQ+ community, a community where you’re proudly part of.

Then she had the audacity to accuse your boyfriend of taking advantage of you? Please, she couldn’t even keep a man for more than a year, how dare she try to assume some bullshit about your relationship with Bucky when hers is filled with failure.

“Y/n, talk to me. This is how a relationship works. If we don’t communicate then how are we supposed to survive in this relationship.”

His words make you snap your head at him, your face contorted in full displeasure to mask the fact that your heart just broke at his words. “Are you saying our relationship won’t survive?” Your words are soft and a whisper but they hold so much confusion and fear.

You can see the way his eyes widen, realizing the wrong choice of words. “What? No, no, that’s not what I meant—“

“I mean, I always knew that the honeymoon stage would pass and that we would get serious and all but I didn’t think it would cost us our relationship—”

The warmth of his hands contrast the coldness of yours when he holds them. After all, you left the window open and it’s quite chilly outside. “Hey, hey. No, no. Don’t think like that. ’S my fault. I shouldn’t have said it like that but I know right now everything isn’t going to plan. With your dad and all. But just because we have those bumps, doesn’t mean we’re going to end. You’re all I want, okay? I don’t care what your Aunt Cece says or your dad, or hell, some stranger on the street. I fucking love you and that’s all that matters.”

With teary eyes, you can barely hold them in and they fall down your cheeks. Quickly letting go of Bucky’s hands to wipe the salty tears off your face. “I’m sorry for yelling at you. I’ve been so overwhelmed with everything that happened in the past week, it just got too much.”

He sits you on his lap, hands cupping your wet face but he doesn’t care any less. “Hey, that’s fine. We all get stressed and it’s fine to let it out. But you have to talk to me, okay? Because I really hate seeing you all distant and out of it. It just doesn’t sit well with me and I worry.”

You open your mouth to speak, his secret sitting heavy on your tongue but you decide that’s for tomorrow’s conversation. You’re going to follow his advice and talk to him just as he said. And you’re finally going to receive an answer from why he’s not telling you himself.

“Okay. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. See, we just have to talk and communicate.”

There’s a smile that bursts on your face, it still doesn’t reach your eyes as it usually does but he’ll take it. And so he leans in, kissing you softly on your lips and you push forward to meet him. Hands gripping his shirt as you kiss him back with more passion, small whimpers leaving your body as your body begs for air.

Both of you hate having to pull back whenever the two of you kiss or have a really heavy make out session. It’s always Bucky who pulls back because he knows you won’t. His forehead lays against your own, the tip of your noses touch and you giggle. For a moment, you forget everything that’s been bothering. Every event, every problem. “I love you.”

He smiles, wrapping his arms around you tighter. “I love you too, my sweet angel.”

You snuggle up against him for a little while, letting him run a finger down your back as he kissed your temple. As your head lays on his chest. The beat of his heart singing to your ear and it’s quite peaceful, letting you sit with your thoughts as he holds you.

A few minutes go by when you finally look up at him, his eyes looking down back at you with a twinkle. Simply smiling back, you return your head back onto his chest. Your finger dancing along the surface of his t-shirt.

When the two of you finally find the strength to let go of each other, you’re the first one to let go, making a frown appear on Bucky’s face. You smiled at him, then letting out a small chuckle as you peppered his face with kisses. Mumbling along the way about him cooking dinner.

He faked an offence on his face, squishing your cheeks together to forcefully pout your lips so he can kiss them. “Am I just another cooking machine for you? Huh?”

You giggled, trying to push him off your body. It was useless, to be honest. He’s much bigger and stronger than you and could easily snap you like a twig. “Yes, you are.”

“You hurt me, my love.”

You’d mock him as he walked away, flipping him off as he looked back at you with a tongue sticking out. When you had finally been left alone, the sound of his phone’s notification fills the room. Catching your attention, it forces you to snatch the device from the bedside table. A calendar notification sitting next to the text notification from Wanda sitting unopened since yesterday.

> **Hey, Stark's asking to confirm if you're going. He needs the proper paper work done by Friday.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which bucky has a secret he’s been keeping for weeks that the reader already knows about. but when the reader finally reveals the secret, it questions the survival of her relationship with bucky.

t’s fucking raining. Of course it is.

Much to your demise, you have to leave the cafe early and say goodbye to Wanda. Fishing out for your phone, the time checks out to be around 10:45. You only have 15 minutes left before Bucky wakes up. It’s a Saturday, so that obviously meant the later sleeping schedule the two of you had.

Well, perhaps you have to blame it on last night’s activities. The endless orgasms that Bucky milked out of you was one that will definitely ensure a late breakfast.

Unfortunately for him, you had to meet up with an old friend early in the morning, leaving him alone in his bed. She had been incredible for the past week. Supporting you through this rough patch in your relationship and life with wise advice. You obviously had Kate and America for that as well, though, not wanting to seem as a burden as they’re also working out their new relationship (all of which wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t told America to buckle up and tell Kate her true feelings).

Instead, you turned to an older friend, one you knew you could easily get advice from. That didn’t mean they knew of the issue. The three of you have a group chat for a reason.

Which brings you here. Sending her a goodbye as she exits the cafe to make her journey to her car. Thankfully, unlike you, she has an umbrella that offers her safety from the chill of the environment.

As for you. Perhaps calling an Uber would be best. After all, it has seemed that Bucky has woken up earlier and begun to question your disappearance.

The notification sits unopened but read by you on the screen of your phone.

Just woke up. I’m about to make breakfast. Hope you’re safe, angel. See you soon.

You simply smile at his concern, because in all honesty, even though he pisses you off (which is quite often this week), you still adore him for who he is. Greatly hoping that he has an honest answer to why he has been lying to you for this past week.

There’s never really been secrets in your relationship with Bucky. The two of you are greatly open about everything. To your work life and to everything in between. You and Bucky are not a sneaky couple. So there was no need to snoop through each other’s phone or computer in search of something to find use against each other.

But it had seemed you were completely wrong.

The first time you and Wanda had gone out for a coffee, it had seemed completely normal at first.

The two of you exchanged conversations about the latest changes and events in your life which included the talk about Bucky, who you referred to as your boyfriend, seeing that Wanda never really knew his true identity. Then it changed to her, the events she had in her life that were major for her. Wanda had passionately talked about her job at Starks firm.

She had gone on and on about the workload, but claiming it was all worth it as she claimed she was going on an assignment with her colleagues, James, to LA for nearly a month.

Apparently she had known about this assignment for two week now. Meaning that your dear Bucky has failed to mention the fact that he’d be leaving you for nearly a month to a city where his ex-wife lives.

You wanted to yell. You want to break the coffee mug in your hand. But you were already running late to go back to your apartment as it’s been nearly three hours since you had met up with Wanda.

That’s when you had gone home to see not only your lying boyfriend but his backstabbing sister.

Practically overwhelmed with the situation, you stood there like a headless chicken coming up with an excuse as to why you weren’t home. The paper bag in your hand came into handy when you had lied, not only to your best friends but to your boyfriend as well.

And for the past week, this information sat heavy inside your head as you tried your best to seem completely unbothered at the fact Bucky is going to leave you to go to Los Angeles. But it’s difficult when you practically live with your boyfriend who doesn’t seem to know how to keep his hands off you.

You went along with it. Waiting for him to come forward, if he even had the balls, to tell you about his plans himself. Letting the first few days slide, you thought that maybe he wasn’t told of the news yet. But then again, he’s this high class lawyer who has interns to fetch him coffee. So that was an unlikely probability. And as the days went by, your patience was running low.

Until today.

It’s a great day, aside from the fucking rain, to finally talk to him. Because you’re an adult who’s definitely going to talk to your boyfriend about a secret he kept away from you for three weeks now. You’re a mature adult, you tell yourself. One who is taking advice from Bucky, who proudly told you that “all we have to do is communicate”.

A bit ironic if you think about that. Seeing that he’s the last one to really communicate his plans to leave for a month.

And as Bucky said, see you soon, he was right. You were able to miss traffic and arrive at his home with still eight minutes to spare. Using the spare key he gave you, you entered his nearly million dollar Brooklyn home with the scent of bacon greeting you. You hung your key and placed your rain boots onto the shoe rack and with sock covered feet, made your way down the hallway and into the kitchen. Where, to no surprise, Bucky is flipping bacon strips on a sizzling pan.

As if knowing your footsteps, he turns around with a smile on his face. “Hi, angel.” Usually he’d greet you with a kiss but seeing that he’s busy, he doesn’t and you’re thankful because quite frankly, you’re still angry with him.

Taking a seat on the bar stool that stood across him from the kitchen counter, you watch him reach over the counter to kiss your forehead, then your cheek, your nose, and your lips. It make a sly smile bloom on your face because you still appreciate his actions. But when he pulls back and doesn’t see it on your face anymore, he questions your mood.

“You alright, angel?” His hand pushes a stray piece of your hair, which, internally, makes you smile. Though, you don’t seem very pleased because you push his hand away when he’s done.

With a sigh and a look of disappointment in the depths of your eyes, you look at him with all seriousness. “I know, James.” When the words leave your mouth, there’s a moment of silence between the two of you, with the exception of the sizzling of the bacon. It takes a few seconds for Bucky to process what you’ve said. You can see it in his eyes how his smile falters and fades.

In a quick second you decide whether on how you go about this. You promised to yourself, to keep your sanity left that you would talk it out with him. No yelling. No outburst. It didn’t help like yesterday. “When were you going to tell me?” Your voice is uncharacteristically soft and low.

He can tell you’re trying to hold your emotions in. There’s a look of fire in your eye that he hasn’t seen on you. Not even with yesterday’s events. This one is different. It looks more like disappointment and frustration.

“What?”

You wanted to slap the coyness off his face. You wanted to yell at him. Throw curse words that you swore you wouldn’t dare to use against your own lover. But right now, he’s making it truly difficult to contain.

“You sneaky bastard. You’re going to LA for a month without fucking telling me?” A scoff leaves your mouth and you continue. “Oh my god, you’re leaving to go to LA for a fucking month, _without_ telling _me_.” A hand comes up to your mouth, a small gasp that makes you truly realize the situation.

“Angel—”

“No, no. Don’t do that, James. Don’t sweet talk your way out of this. You knew for two weeks and didn’t tell me?! Didn’t you think to mention this to the girl you’re dating?!” There goes her rule of no yelling.

“Of course, I did! I was just trying to save you the stress. Especially with everything that was going on!” His tone is matching yours now and it’s not doing anything but fueling the yelling that’s overcoming the sizzle of the bacon.

The two of you stood in the kitchen, looking at each other with defensive eyes and crossed arms.

“Save me? There’s no good way of going about this! You knew for weeks and didn’t even mention to tell me before everything went to shit, James! I gave you the benefit of the doubt when Wanda told me last Sunday because I thought you didn’t know yet about this stupid assignment. But you knew for weeks! God, James, to think I’ve spent the week looking at your lying face. It makes me fucking insane.”

He tries touching you, reaching for you since you’re walking back and forth in the room of his kitchen with a hand pulling on the roots of your hair.

You genuinely can’t believe him. You thought he was going to have a better excuse for why he didn’t tell you. Not some bullshit that he was trying to spare you the stress. If he wanted to spare you the stress, he should’ve told you the moment he found out. So the two of you could talk it out and compromise without having tainted thoughts. But it’s too late and you’re losing sight of your boyfriend.

“Don’t touch me! Please, you’re making my head hurt.“

Her cries make him pull back. And as much as Bucky wants to defend himself for not telling you, he can’t. He knows he’s in the fault and he should’ve told you sooner. He knew for weeks, looked at the damn email constantly everyday when you’d be sleeping, not knowing what to do or to say to you about the assignment. He doesn’t want to go, truly, but he’s the lead in the case and he has no choice. The case is a long one and Stark is sending him with Wanda and Sam.

As much as he loves his job, he loves you more. He’d rather stay at home with you than go off to some firm in the west coast.

“God, Bucky! We’re supposed to be honest with each other. That’s what you said last night!” It’s almost a cry as he hears the crack in your voice.

And he hates seeing you so distressed the way you are right now. But it makes sense to him now. All those sexless nights and short kisses finally meant something. He was the reason you were so distant. Why you were so unnecessarily angry at him yesterday.

“Let’s talk this out like we said we would. Please.”

Finally, you stop, head turning to your boyfriend with rage running through your veins. You have to let out a scoff at the irony. You don’t even say a word, you just merely look at him. Clear disappointment and heartbreak in your eyes and it ruins him.

It’s funny that now you think about it. You promised to yourself you’d be the bigger person and not cause a scene. But how could? The man who promised to not hurt you lied to you for weeks. Living his life as if he wasn’t just about to leave you for a month. Who does that to the person they love? That you don’t have an answer for.

He watches you march away from him, not even bothering to look back. He’s quick to turn off the stove, not even caring that his bacon would eventually burn so he could catch up to you. There’s a lump in his throat that’s making him feel like he can’t breathe. And as he watches you put on your rain boots and your coat, he’s already begging at your feet.

“Y/n, please, we have to talk this out. Don’t leave me. Not in this weather.” A crack makes an appearance in his voice that almost convinces you to listen and stay with him. But your anger is persistent and you know better than to fall easily to him. You have to stand your ground even if it’ll hurt the both of you. He hurt you, and you’re not saying it’s right to hurt him back but your anger speaks louder than your logic in the heat of the moment.

When your coat and boots are on and you’re ready to leave, the hand that reaches for the doorknob stops. And as you turn to him, which makes him think you might just stay, your mouth opens to say a few words.

“Talk to me when you’re ready to be honest with me. I don’t need you hurting me the way you did back then.”

Then you’re off. Leaving Bucky staring at nothing but wet footprints on the wood floor, small a reminiscence of you once in his home.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the reader spends her first weekend alone, without bucky. something she hasn’t done in a while.

Questioning why you chose to take the subway home, you stood in the train holding the pole with a wet hand. Water dripping from your body which sends a chill down your spine. Though, nobody seems to care for the strange wet girl on the subway, which is the magic of careless New Yorkers as it’s probably not even the strangest thing they’ve seen today.

You don’t care as well. Just staring off into the window as the train sprouted from the ground and to the surface of the Earth. Luckily, if it weren’t for your wet face, no one would’ve known you were crying. Occasionally wiping your face until you arrived at your stop and got off.

Of course, it’s still raining. Just because God loves to piss on everything good in your life.

So when you walk the rest down to your apartment, you’re practically soaking, looking as if you took a shower in your clothes. And when Kate opens the door, she practically gasps at your sight. She’s quick to rush you in, making sure you change clothes and wrap a blanket to warm you up.

It’s not only till then when you have a cup of coffee in your hand, setting your body temperature back to normal that she and America, who soon joined them after she got out of the shower, asks what happened.

You kind of wish you were soaked in rain water again to mask the salty tears that ran down your face as you told your best friends what happened. Their hands rubbing circles on your back in an effort to calm you down from your sobbing, unaware of the buzzing that your phone is making against the coffee table.

“You just left?” America finally asks after your crying subsides, her hand taking the cold drink from your hand to place on the table.

You nod, sniffing as well.

“I - I told myself not to get mad and to talk it out. But the way he just kept defending himself for keeping this from me made me so much angrier.” You pause, bring your sweater to wipe the left over tears on your cheek. “I gave him time when I found out. This whole week, not once did he bother to mention it and it pisses me off. We’re supposed to trust and be honest with each other but how am I supposed to trust him when he’s going to leave for a month to a city where his ex-wife lives?”

Sighing, Kate shares a look with her girlfriend. “Y/n, I’m so sorry.”

America nods along, stroking her best friend’s hair to show her comfort. “Yeah, and I’m sorry your boyfriend is such an ass.” You meekly laugh at this, sending a smile to both of the girls. “But, don’t get me wrong or think that I’m taking his side, because I’m not. I still think what he did is wrong. But his intentions may not been to hurt you.”

“I know that. He told me he wanted to spare me the stress but he should’ve at least told me when he knew. He kept it away from me for weeks! Plus, it’s LA, and it’s not that I don’t trust him, well, I’m not sure entirely now, but it’s that red-headed bitch that I don’t trust.”

It’s true. And although you’re not excusing Bucky’s actions in the past, both parties were still involved and Natasha was still partly to blame. But over the course of your relationship, you knew you could trust Bucky, at least you thought you could. Though, with his ex-wife and a month long distance between the two of you, who’s to say that she won’t try and make a move. Plus, she’s one call away from Rebecca’s phone and you haven’t entirely forgiven let alone trust the other Barnes sibling.

The sound of buzzing fills the air, catching the attention of all the girls in the room. America gives Kate a knowing look, which causes her to reach for your phone. To no surprise, Bucky’s contact shows up and the contact picture is the two of you out in Central Park.

Vividly remembering the day he took you out for a walk, he had confidently asked a stranger to take a photo of the two of you. It needed up being one of your favourite pictures as he Bucky had an arm around your waist and held you close to him. You could almost recall the giggle that left your mouth as Bucky, last minute, leaned down to kiss your cheek. His beard tickling your skin. The stranger had been at awe at your relationship, the first ever to not glare at the two of you in surprise.

And as the memory was recalled, you felt like you were being drained of your tears from crying.

A sigh leaves America’s lips, turning to you with a look you know. As for Kate, she turns off the phone to ignore Bucky’s call.

“Just send him a text, Y/n. He’s probably worried sick not knowing where you are in this weather.”

It makes you hesitate, your eyes fixated on your phone and the notifications of the five missed calls you’ve ignored from your boyfriend. You want him to feel like shit. To feel what you had felt. But you suppose this isn’t the best way to go about it.

Defeated, you snatch the phone and text him. Ignoring his missed calls.

YOU: I’m at my apartment. Don’t talk to me until you’re ready to be honest with me.  
You never felt disappointed with Bucky. Never. Whether it be if he ruined the recipe for dinner night or if he lacked cuddles for the night. You knew Bucky was one to give it all his best. And he does. He works hard and gives his all. That’s what you adore about him so dearly. He never fails to make you proud, even with the simple things.

And you’ve never doubted his love for you once. That was certain. Even in this situation. You knew his intentions when he kept this secret from you and though it was a good one it still pained you that it didn’t bother to cross his mind about you.

Just like he said yesterday, you knew that trust and communication was key in a relationship. Especially yours. And as angry as you want to be and as much as you want to yell, the two of you were always honest with each other.

At least, you were.

You always told everything. Even if it got you in trouble like that one time you spilled red wine all over his Fleetwood Mac shirt. You were contemplating how to tell him what happened when he would wake up from his nap. They may not be the same but the two of you valued honesty as much as you did communication.

So it truly boggles your mind why he bothered keeping this a secret, even if it were to protect you.

“I feel like shit.”

Your best friends chuckle softly at your confession, a subtle smile on your face as you hear their voices.

“Understandable.” America gifts her a small smile, as Kate leans her head on your shoulder in a way to comfort you. “Well, enough about Bucky, we were just about to watch Mean Girls.”

—

Spending the rest of your Saturday and Sunday morning at your home, it consisted of unnecessary bed rest, and binge watching the rest of the Gossip Girl episodes that you were supposed to watch with Bucky. Sometimes, in secrecy of your fire escape, you’d roll a joint thanks to the hidden stash you had in your drawer and smoke one out.

It wasn’t an activity you did on a daily basis. You started the habit in university, when the stress had been too much and the alcohol wasn’t downing anything but your liver, you resorted to the greens. It helped you calm down, mostly sending you to sleep after finishing the roll. But that was it. Nothing else.

Bucky didn’t know of your secret habit, he almost caught you once though when you had sneaked out of his embrace and tipped your way outside to his backyard. He found you out there, sitting by the sliding door just letting the drug calm your senses until Bucky kissed your neck to bring you back to reality.

Magically he never smelled the stench, probably too sleepy to actually realize his girlfriend was smoking by his backyard. He begged you to come back to bed, though. You didn’t persist and let him drag you back.

But your afternoon is going to be different, you tell yourself. After having a realization that sulking all day won’t do your relationship any good, you take it upon yourself to do something productive. You decided, between commercial breaks and a bag of hot cheetos, that you might just take your mother’s offer for lunch.

After all, her words of wisdom might come into use in the future.

So taking your ass off the couch, you throw on some clothes that make you look like a normal human being and not someone who looks like she spent hours staring at Dan Humphrey being another Brooklyn boy prick.

You text her for a change of plans. Changing the location to the same one you had met up with her last week. Plus, the company of the kittens would help a lot with cheering up your mood.

When she had agreed and expressed her excitement to see you this afternoon, you began to feel the same way. Almost forgetting the fight you had with Bucky on Saturday as you prepared yourself to get out of the house.

As you’re nearly ready to leave, Kate and America question of your plans for the day. Hesitantly, you’re worried about telling them that you’re going out to Brooklyn as they might question why. But you go with it anyways and Kate kindly offers to drive you there which you kindly decline as the subway is much faster than the traffic.

Turns out, you were right and though the train was full, which was not a surprise to you as you lived in New York City for god’s sake, you were able to get there quicker than you would usually would with a car. The only problem was that you would have to walk through your neighbour to get to the cafe. And that meant having to pass by Bucky’s home.

You hope he wasn’t home right now. You hope that he was out, buying groceries the way the two of you were supposed to today.

With your bag clutched in your hand, you walked quietly down the street. Occasionally passing other strangers and soon your own home. You haven’t been home in a quite a while, so being outside, technically not being allowed in, pains you. It’s even worse when you pass by Bucky’s home. His car parked by the front, indicating his presence in his home. Somewhere deep in your mind, you think about going back. Telling him that you missed him and that you love him, because in all honesty you do. You just refuse to do that because of what he’s done.

So you have to push those urges away and continue in with your journey.

And with some stroke of luck, your boyfriend exits his home home. Headphones in with the strings still attached because he told you once he has no use for the wireless ones if they’re not going to save his phone from falling, and in his proper running attire. He’s staring down at his phone, assuming that he’s looking for a song. You wonder if he still listens to the playlist you made him.

Fuck, you should’ve known he would be out here. He always goes out for a run when he’s stressed and seeing that this weekend was clearly a stressful time, no doubt he’d be out for a quick one.

Accordingly, you panic, thinking of a way to avoid him in a way that he wouldn’t see you. As you hide behind the lamppost, your focus is brought to the sound of your phone, notification letting you know someone had texted you. When you fish for your device in your purse, you’re face to face with the message.

POOKIE ♡: Hey. Hope you’re well. I’m going to the grocery store later to get those seaweed snacks you favour so much.  
There’s a lump that surfaces in your throat. The same one when you and him had started yelling at each other in what was supposed to be the comfort of his kitchen is now tainted with the memory. Thank God, you wore waterproof mascara. You wouldn’t have been welcome into the cafe if you had black tears running down your face like an insane psycho.

As you catch your mother in the building, you quickly pat your face dry and make your way over to her. Smiling down at the kitties who circle your feet once you sit down, you look up hesitantly to your mom. A sad smile on her face.

“How are you?”

You merely shrug, answering her question with some sort of honesty. “I’m fine. I guess.” She nods at this, her fingers circling the rim of her coffee cup. You know what she’s going to ask next and you have to prepare yourself for it.

“How about you and Bucky? Everything well?”

You know if you give her the same meaningless answer, she’ll find out. You don’t want her to see that your relationship is failing. Instead, you nod.

“Are you sure?”

Defeated, you turn away from her and look outside the window. Hand carelessly petting the fur of a cat that sits on your lap. While the couple sit on the bench catch your focus, their daughter sitting between them as she messily licks her strawberry ice cream. Occasionally, the father wipes her daughter’s mouth with a wipe.

“I don’t know, Mama. It’s been rough.”

Her calloused hands reach out for you, rubbing soft circles on your hand which contrast the rough skin she has.

“It’s okay. I’m sure it’ll pass.”

Turning to her, there’s a look of uncertainty that answers her questions. You look like you want to cry almost and even though your mother has been with you since your first boyfriend and break up, it still feels incredibly embarrassing to cry in front of her.

“He lied to me, Mama. He’s going to LA and leave me. What happens when he realizes that Papa is right and leaves me for Natasha?” The clear fear in your voice saddens your mother. Frowning, she cups your hand and stares sternly into your eye.

“You have to know something about Bucky, my darling. He’s a good man. His heart is always in the right place whether he means it or not. He always puts others before him and that includes you. I’m not supposed to say anything but he’s been talking to me. Darling, you have to hear the way he raves about you. You’re his world. His everything. The man is so deeply in love with my own daughter that it actually makes me cry.” She chuckles at this, eyes glossy.

“I know he lied to you, don’t get me wrong, it’s wrong that he did that. But his intentions were pure and nothing but good. If you’re afraid of him leaving you and finding love somewhere else, don’t be. His love is here and she’s sitting in front of me with a cat napping in her lap.”

She sends you those smiles you just know comes from the depth of her heart. It reaches her eyes and it radiates so much happy vibes that you can’t help smile back. Hands carefully sweeping off the tears that sit on the edge of your waterline; just begging to fall. “God, Mama.”

“The two of you will be alright. I know it.”

There’s a pause that linger in the air, none that make the vibes in the room awkward but instead comfortable. You take in your mother’s words. Thinking she’s right and that this will only strengthen your bond with Bucky. It also swells your heart to hear the relationship that your mother and Bucky have. The occasional conversations that they have, talking about god knows what. You guess it’s probably about those darn flowers both your mom and Bucky adore. Nevertheless, it makes you even love Bucky more with the way he talks about you to your mother.

Always having been close with your mom, it was incredibly reassuring that she still approves of your relationship with Bucky. Unlike the other parent who doesn’t know when to cross a boundary.

“Thank you, Mama. It’s just been hard this past week. With my job and Papa. There’s a lot on my mind.”

There’s a look of curiosity when the mention of her own husband. She brings the cup of coffee to her lips, lipstick staining the white cup and she smacks them together for a good coverage. “What happened with your dad?”

You almost seemed shocked and it scared your mother what her husband could’ve done now. Though, you expected this from your dad. He’s always been very, you wouldn’t say secretive, of course he’d still be open with his wife and only her, but he’s very much closed off in general. He doesn’t like to share things when they’re not being asked of him. So he rather just let his own thoughts and secrets sit close with him.

You want to say that it’s the reason why you don’t have a close relationship with him the way you have with your mom. But it’s more than that if you’re being honest. The two of you never truly connect. On some occasions, you’d have conversations (more like small talk) about school and your future. That’s nearly it. You’re not truly surprised. You and your father are ironically two very different people and you have just chosen the fact that your relationship with him isn’t like others.

Looking at your mother, you’re hesitant to tell her.

“Did he not tell you?” She shakes her head. “He called the cops on Bucky. Claiming that I was a minor who was kidnapped and raped by him.” The words that fall from your mouth taste disgusting and bitter. Hating it as they fall from your tongue. “Um - Then when I confronted Papa about it, he just went on about Bucky is using me. Even called me a slut and offered to pay me to break up with him. When I refused, he told me that he’s cutting me off from the family.”

Your mother’s face turns red, a face you never thought you’d see on her again after that incident where you were about eight and ripped her tulips out from the backyard. Yet, now, you’re seeing it again after years.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. He’s a fucking joke. Of course he’s going to mess up shit when things are finally good in your life. I’ve been telling your father for years now, Y/n. That man is all money. He’s rarely at home anymore. Always out and about. He comes home most nights drunk now, did you know that? He barely talks to me anymore.”

She barely makes eye contact with you throughout her words, but you can see by the light from the sun casting on her face. Glossy and filled with tears begging to fall. It saddens you the effect of your father’s poor behaviour. To his only daughter and his wife, he’s clearly doing a poor job of being a husband and a father.

“I’m sorry, Mama. If I had known that Papa would act out like this, I wouldn’t have told him.”

“Nonsense! You are happy and completely in love with each other, the two of you had every right to speak out about your relationship regardless of what your father would say. It’s his fault he can’t comprehend in that small head of his that his daughter is an adult now who can make her decision. And as weird as it is, you chose to be with Bucky and he chose to be with you.”

Feeling at ease from her words, you send a genuine smile. You knew this lunch would be good for your mood and you were right. Your mother has not only simultaneously brightened your mood but has swollen your heart for her.

With that, you try to steer the conversation to a much happier topic. Where no mentions of shitty husbands and fighting boyfriends are allowed. Instead, the two of you play with the cats. With them, occasionally purring meowing at you.

You feel so comfortable with your mom as laughs and jokes are shared through cups and cups of coffee and pieces of bread.

You’re glad that you have her in your life. Especially in a time where you’re struggling with the same issues with your father and on your own, with Bucky. Even with Wanda, despite the obvious history there, she never fails to show you support. She’s definitely one of those friends where you can go without talking for months and meet up as if no time has passed.

You also can’t be thankful enough to have Kate and America. They’re the reason why you survived your university life and the four years you had tried getting over Bucky. Also, if you’re being honest, you have to thank Kate for getting his number because if it weren’t for her, maybe you wouldn’t found forgiveness in each other.

Really, you couldn’t be more thankful for these people in your life. Now, hopefully the one you want in yours would finally come to their senses find their way back to you.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which the reader finally finds the strength to forgive bucky and compromise with each other. while he, on the other hand, has a different way of making it up to her.

You told yourself to be persistent. To not fall back into his arms like you had last time because you knew you were going to get hurt. You constantly reassure yourself that it’s his turn to fall for you. To apologize. And you’re still waiting.

Just as you are for his black car to arrive and pick you.

It’s only then that it hits you that you’re taking the subway today. Yet you still stand in front of the building. It takes a moment but you finally move yourself and make your journey back home. Carefully fishing out your keys to grasp them between your hands as you always did whenever you walked alone. Call it a habit, but you don’t plan on breaking it soon.

Minding your business, there’s a honk of a car that you assumed was for someone else. Until they call for your name. With a quick turn of your head, there’s Bucky, sitting in his Benz with the passenger window down.

You send him a look of confusion, your steps stopping to walk closer to him. “What do you want?”

“I’m here to pick you up. And to properly be honest with you. And to make it up to you.”

He seems to be completely desperate. The bags under his eyes and his untrimmed beard shows for it all. It’s clear he hasn’t been sleeping and hasn’t been taking care of himself. You almost feel bad. You wanted him to feel hurt for what he did to you but you never wanted him to become like this.

He’s waiting for your answer, gripping the smooth black leather of his steer. He’s getting desperate and you have no other option.

“Fine.”

There’s a small smile that blooms on his face when you enter his car. He smells your perfume, the flowery one that you use and that he smells when he goes to hug you. It’s only been two days and it’s already too long.

The car ride is silent as he makes his way through the streets, stopping when there’s a red light. He can see you from the corner of his eye but he refuses to turn. It’s never been this quiet for the two of you. Usually when it is, it’s never as awkward as it is now.

You think to yourself if his time alone has been bad as it looks. You’ve seen him go out for a run yesterday. Which was already an indication. And much like Bucky, you refuse to turn your head at him. Instead, you watch life outside the window. The hustling and bustling of New York City is always something that amazes you.

It’s only time till his car rolls to a stop in his front lawn. His home comes into view and the engine roars off to silence.

“Can you come in? I really just want to talk. And make it up to you.”

“We’re not gonna fuck, if that’s what you mean by making it up.”

He chuckles, a sound that you’re glad to hear. He’s also glad to hear that you’re already making jokes around him. Though, a little bit of him thinks you’re not.

“We won’t. I promise. We’ll just talk.”

A sigh fills the car, then silence. Then you’re out and marching towards the front door and fishing out your own set of keys he gave you just in case. He follows along, preparing himself to finally fix this mess he’s made.

As the two of you enter his home and the door closes with a small bang, you look around the place you once called your second home. Even though it’s only been two days, those two days seemed like eternity. You’re always with him, by his side. And though, to some, it may be unusual but that was the regular for the both of you.

You were always by each other’s side. And now you weren’t.

“I’m sorry.”

Turning around to face him, he’s fiddling with his hands the way you do when you’re nervous. He’s looking at you, well, more like trying to. He’s struggling as he wants to stare at the floor. He almost looks like a kid who’s been scolded by their parents.

“Why didn’t you just tell me, Bucky? You kept it away for weeks. Not to mention that the place you’re going to is where your ex-wife lives.” You pause. “You know how I feel about Natasha.”

He steps towards you, earning a step back for him. Hurting him in the slightest.

“I know. And I also know I don’t have any excuses but I do have an explanation. I just wasn’t sure how to tell you. This is the truth. And I know how you feel about Natasha. I caused that feeling because of my selfishness and I couldn’t be more sorry, Y/n. I really am. I really didn’t know how to break it to you and I didn’t want to stress you out. I know it’s wrong of me now to keep that from you. We’re in a relationship. We’re supposed to share everything together. I should’ve told you.”

A sigh breaks the silence he leaves after talking.

“You’re still leaving me for a month. Who’s to say that Natasha won’t make a move? I can’t trust her and I hate to say it but what about…” The same bubbling feeling in your throat gets stuck. You don’t want to cry. You really don’t. You’ve gone the weekend feeling like shit and sulking around the apartment with swollen eyes that you don’t have the energy to anymore. So instead, you avert your eyes away from him and look at the floor.

He tries again, stepping forward and fortunately for him this time, you don’t back away. Actually, it’s small but it’s one step enough for him.

“What about me. I know. I shouldn’t be worth of your trust, after what I’ve done to you, I honestly don’t know why you’ve taken me back but you did. And I don’t care how many times I have to say it but I only want you, Y/n. Always have and always will. I mean it. I also mean it when I say I love you or when I’m in love with you. I really do. And if I had to spend the rest of my life trying to earn your trust again, I wouldn’t hesitate. I’m so sorry.” This time, he’s only mere inches away from you and he tries to reach out, only to hesitate and look at you properly. “Can I touch you? It’s been a while.”

This receives him a playful scoff, one that certainly warms his heart. “It’s only been a few days.” You pause, finally looking up at him.

“Well, it’s been a long stressful few days.”

“I know. I saw you go out for a run yesterday when I went to see my mom. You only do that when you’re stressed.” You sigh, finally reaching out and taking his hands. They feel warm, with the exception of the rings that sit around his fingers. “Look, I’m sorry that I yelled at you. I promised I wasn’t going to do that. But I just got really angry and lost all sensibility. I’m sorry for walking out as well and for ignoring your messages even though I thought it was nice of you to do that since it made me feel less lonely. I can be stupid sometimes.”

He nods, feeling the way your fingers are playing with his rings. “I know you get angry and you’re not stupid for feeling emotions. I was just scared for you, you know? You left during shit weather. I’m sorry as well for lying. I should’ve told you. And I promise from now on, no more secrets. I will always come to you. And you have always came first. No one else. No Natasha. Just you. Hell, I’ll call you every day and night when I leave. Just so I can have you by my side.”

You smile, finally.

“Are we okay?” He asks, a little afraid for the answer to his own question. Regardless, he still asks, not wanting to ruin this good thing they have.

You nod, letting it fade off as you intertwine your fingers with his. “This doesn’t mean I fully forgive you. I’m still a little mad and unhappy that you have to leave.”

Chuckling, he uses his free hand to lift your chin up. “Understood and I will make it up to you, I promise.”

There’s a silence that passes by, letting you sit in your thoughts for a second before you ask him another question. “When are you leaving?” You hate to ask and ruin the moment, but the question has been nagging at you for a while.

“Next week. Friday.”

Your lips turn downwards in an undeniable frown. He tugs on your hands, understanding what it means, you step forward and slowly, as if you’re afraid to break him, snake your arms around his waist and let yourself embrace him. His cologne enters your nose and you feel at ease again. “There’s not much time left.” You mumble against his suit.

He rubs your back, sighing when he feels you tighten your embrace against him. “I know. But that’s why I got you something. So you don’t get lonely when I’m gone. It’s not sex, though. Reminded me of you.”

You roll your eyes at him, though he doesn’t see it, he knows you’ve done it and slightly pinches your ass when the two of you are playing around. A small whimper falls from you as you reach around back to rub your skin. “What did you get me?” Is what you ask when you pull away from him, stepping on your tippy toes to press a kiss to his ruby lips.

He reciprocates the gesture, cupping your warm and flustered cheek as he smiles against yours lips. The kiss is small and short but it’s warm and it’s loving. You miss it to the point where your hands instinctively slip under the blazer of his suit, one less layer of fabric from his skin. Once he pulls back, there’s a look of excitement all over his face. “Can you bring a banana from the kitchen? We’ll need it because he gets hungry when I pick him up.”

Confused by who gets hungry, you follow what he asks. Walking to the kitchen, there’s an abundance of bananas hanging off his fruit bowl. You make a face of question but nevertheless, do what you’re asked and return back to your boyfriend with a banana.

“Okay, lets go.”

You follow his lead back into his car, a little weirded out by his actions. But this time when the two of you are back in the car, everything seems to be normal. There’s no awkwardness lingering in the air, no tension. And though, just as Bucky said, he still needed to make it up to you, you were quite glad and proud that Bucky finally took the balls to speak up and apologize to you.

And even though he still was going to leave for LA, because it’s his job, he reassured you. This is a relationship. One between you and him. The two of you should be honest with each and communicate. And some things shouldn’t be dealt with yelling and walking out in the rain, just the way you had done.

“Should I be afraid?”

The car pulls out of his driveway, starting it’s drive down the road and onto the main intersection. Grabbing the aux cord and plugging into your phone, you play a song by Fleetwood Mac.

“No, I don’t think so. Well, I hope not. But we’ll see.”

He watches as you sink back down to your seat, your lips out in a small pout and brows pinched together in desperation for an answer. You try to kill time though, listening to some of your own songs and singing out the lyrics to Harry Styles’ Kiwi.

He adores you (pun intended). Finally thankful the two of you are good again. Though, he senses that his leaving in a week is bringing you down. He really doesn’t want to leave but he’s been assigned this case and it’s a big one. Staying true to his word, he’s going to make this up to you.

—

Soon enough, the car rolls up down the street and Bucky puts the car into park. He pulls the key out and turns to you hesitantly. “Do you want to come or are you staying in the car?”

You send him a look. “I’m coming, of course. So hurry your ass out. I want to see what you got me.”

He practically watches you jump out of the car, looking around the neighborhood like a clueless puppy. He really is an idiot. He almost cost his relationship, he almost lost you. Because of his own stupidity. He should know better, at this point. He’s nearly twice your age and has more experience in relationships than you. Hell, he even got married in one. He should’ve known better than to push you away and handled the situation.

And given the two days he had been left alone, he was able to realize that and the hurt in you. He understood why you were furious with him about LA, Natasha would be there. And the clear topic of her was one that set the mood in the air uneasy. Bucky couldn’t blame you for being afraid of what would happen. Hell, he even feels that as well when you were yelling that you were with Wanda, the very ex that Bucky, on some occasions, made him very jealous.

So he knows. He’s fucked up and honestly, if it meant having to make it up to you everyday, he wouldn’t hesitate because all he wants back in his life is you.

“C’mon.” His hand reaches out for you, which you take so he can lead you to the surprise he promised to show you. Clearly in a better mood, you take his hand with an iron grip as if you’re afraid to let him go again.

As he leads you to a building, the words let and daycare are seen and so many guesses are going through your head when you finally make it to the front entrance.

Quietly, you watch as Bucky interacts with a blonde at the front desk. She doesn’t fail to miss you nor the way you catch her eyes fall down to your intertwined hands. But she continues with her conversation with Bucky, smiling as she nods him to follow her.

He pulls you along, looking back to see a forced smile on your face as you look totally confused. Then the blonde woman who you now know, thanks to her name tag, as Sandy, stops and opens a door where an obvious meow is heard. Your interest is peaked now and all attention is to the lady who’s carelessly eyeing your boyfriend. You don’t blame her, though.

“He just had a nap so he may be a little cranky. But he’s alright and ready to get up and going.” And there it is.

In all of its cuteness, she picks up a white kitty with the most beautiful sapphire eyes that challenges Bucky’s own. It stretches its arms, petite claws pressed against Sandy’s arm and you can’t help but awe at the creature. “I’ll go get the crate.” She says, reaching her hands out to hand the cat to Bucky. But he shakes his head and motions to you.

“Give him to my girlfriend, please. Y/n, give him some of the bananas. And don’t worry about the crate, Sandy, I’ll get it.”

He lets go of your hand, smiling at you before he leaves and disappears down the hallway where you assume the crate is. Then all you can focus is the fact that this lady is handing you the most perfect looking cat in the world into your arms.

Once it nestles comfortably, you peer down at the kitty. Cooing soft words at it as you rub its head gently. Completely enamoured, you lose all sensibility and focus. Until Sandy speaks up.

“He’s a cute one, isn’t he?”

You look up, still smiling like crazy. “My God, I’m telling you. I’ve never seen a cat this cute in my whole life.”

“His name is Alpine. He didn’t come in with you on Sunday, so I don’t know if he’s told you yet.”

You wiggle your fingers at Alpine, the perfect name for the perfect kitty, his own hands trying to claw your own as he plays with you. Giving some pieces of the banana and as it turns out, Bucky was right. “Oh, he definitely didn’t tell me about Alpine. But I’m glad he did now!”

It doesn’t take Bucky long to return. There’s a smile on his face as he walks back, crate in his hand and a sparkle in his eyes. Placing the crate on the floor and sending the kitty a goodbye, he takes the sweet creature into his arms and into the safety of the grey box.

You don’t fail to hear the soft calls from the animal, making your heart swell even more at the sight.

But Bucky’s hand snakes up on your back, returning your focus back to reality. “Thank you again, Sandy. I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that, the three of you are off with the crate in Bucky’s hands.

He puts the crate in the trunk while you wait for him in your seat. Once he returns in the car and drives off, he looks at you with loving eyes at a red stop light. You only notice until he squeezes your thigh. “What?”

“I love you so much, you know that right?”

Your brows pinches in confusion. Of course, you knew. You’ve never doubted his love once. Not even when the two of you fought. Nodding, your confusion turns into a smile, your hand topping his own with a iron grip.

“I know, Bucky and even though what you did was a very douche thing to do, I can’t stay forever mad at you even though I tried. I mean, I’m unhappy that you have to leave me but we compromise, right? We’re in a relationship, so we have to act like we’re in one.” He nods, making you smile. “Plus, you got me a kitty!” He chuckles at how you exclaim your words while your hands clap together in excitement.

“I mean, you did ask me.”

“Yeah! I know! A couple of weeks ago!”

A finger is tucked under your chin, turning your head softly so he can get a better look at the face he’s missed so dearly. So beautiful and breathtaking, he really has missed you. Even if it were only for a few days. He’s spent way too much time with you that he practically doesn’t want to experience life without your side. That’s when he realizes that he doesn’t spend life without you. He wants to spend it with you. By his side. Forever.

“I got him when I went to the animal shelter. I know you do that when you’re sad, you told me. So I tried it and I fell in love with Alpine because he reminded me so much of you.”

Faintly, your lips curve upwards to a smile. Bucky doesn’t have long as the green light is soon to come, so he leans down and presses a kiss, one that wished was longer. “I love you so much. I’m such a fucking idiot for hurting you. I promise it won’t ever happen again.” Is what he says, pulling back from the gesture.

There’s sincerity in his voice and it’s one you can’t help but internally frown at. Perhaps, you should’ve spoke to him sooner about the situation. Perhaps, the two of you should’ve spoken like adults. Nevertheless, forgiveness and honesty is a virtue the two of you are big on and still need to work. As this is a relationship you value so deeply that you don’t want to screed this up any further.

You’re still sad he’s leaving but what can you do? It’s his job and you’ll support him and you know he’ll do the same to you. And you appreciate the reassurance but seeing him feeling guilty and sulk turns your smile into a frown.

“I know, baby. It’s okay, now. We’re going to get through this, even if it takes a while.” You tell him. Eyes staring back at with so much love. “Plus, we have a little kitty to bring home. We’ll be alright.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which bucky spends the last of his day with both the reader and the new addition to the family before he leaves for LA.

Sitting on the couch, Alpine meowed as he titled his head at you, green eyes looking down at the man who sat on your tummy with his own eyes closed.

You giggled, fingers never stopping to run them through Bucky’s hair as he fell asleep on your tummy. You bring a finger to your lips, playfully shushing the feline as to not wake up his dad.

He doesn’t listen as another meow bellows through the room. And this time, he takes a place on top of your chest. Now, thank god he was just a mere kitty or your boobs would’ve been sore.

Looking comfortable, you let your free hand pet his head, making him purr against your hand. You tried to suppress a laugh, seeing that both of your boys are using you as a comfort pillow.

Alpine doesn’t seem to want to share you as he’s turning around and carelessly walking all over Bucky’s head. Causing him to stir in his sleep.

You simply whisper-yelled at him. “Alpine! Get your ass off daddy’s face!” Attempting to teach him with one hand, it doesn’t work as he’s persistent in trying to suffocate Bucky in his sleep. It works because Bucky is practically awake and pushing off the animal from his face.

Alpine, giving no shits, meows at him and walks away to the other couch. “Little shit is trying to kill me, Y/n. Let’s take him back to the shelter.” Bucky mumbles against your stomach, the way his voice vibrates against your skin makes you giggle.

“He’s just jealous. I’ve got you sleeping on me. He just wanted my attention.” He props himself up on his elbows, looking up at you with a droopy smile. You squeeze his cheeks, smiling back down at him.

“Well, you’re mine.”

He clearly shows that as he peppers your tummy with kisses, making you chuckle at his gesture. But it also ignites the ache between your legs. Bucky knows what he’s doing as he hears you go silent. Watching from the corner of his eyes, your hands balled up into fists beside him.

“Bucky...”

“Say it. Tell me what you want.”

He’s teasing, his hands are scooping your thighs over his shoulder as he continues to kiss down your body. Eventually stopping above the waistband of your underwear, seeing that you opted to go pantless for the day. The little black bow stares back at Bucky tauntingly.

“Touch me. Please.”

“Where, моя любовь?”

“Bucky… Please, just touch me.”

He finds it adorable the way you avoid saying the word, just skipping straight to the point and begging him instead. And as much as he loves teasing you, this isn’t one of those moments. He’s been deprived from you. Even if he had just spent last night making you come like you have never done before. He still can’t get enough.

So he does what’s best. As his fingers hook themselves under the waistband of your underwear, he watches as your chest heaves up and down while your eyes closed shut in sexual frustration.

“Relax for me, angel.”

Your head is thrown back to the side, catching a glimpse of Alpine looking back at you from the other side of the living room. And as much as you want Bucky right now, you don’t feel comfortable having your cat watch.

“Wait, he’s watching. It feels weird.”

Bucky stops, looking over your legs to see the creature with the same blue eyes looking straight back at him. He sighs, leaning his head against your inner thigh.

“Do you mind, asshole?”

He throws a pillow, barely missing Alpine but it’s enough to get him to move and return to his bed by the wall. You laugh, giving a small pout to Alpine afterwards as he meows away. Your attention returns to the man begging to get in between your legs, his eyes staring back at you with black rimmed eyes that spoke more than his words. While he has a finger tracing down your inner thigh, nearing the place where you need him most. Instead, he’s teasing you, dragging a finger down your panty covered slit.

Making you gasp in surprise, your eyes flutter closed to the sensation of his finger with the added feeling of him kissing down your thigh.

“Feels good, моя любовь?”

A small whimpered moan falls from you when he kisses you through your underwear, not doubting that he sees the mess you’ve created under the fragile black lace fabric.

While squirming under his touch, you're pushing his head off. As your loud pleas for him to do more doesn’t seem to be enough.

“Take it off! Take it off.” Your fingers are pushing the fragile fabric off your body, making a smile erupt on Bucky’s face as he watches you become so needy for him.

Slowly but surely, he’s peeling it off in a way to tease you even more. With eyes shut close, your arm falls over your face while your hips buck up to help him undress you. There’s a chuckle that booms through the silent room, it’s deep and dark and it echoes through your body to the warmth in your belly.

There’s a pause in the moment, making you anxious for the wait as Bucky stares down at your cunt. It’s all perfectly spread out for him; the way your lips are open and permitting him the pleasure he wants. Smiling, he takes a finger and smears your own arousal around your pussy. Earning himself a moan from you.

And as he grips your thighs, he pulls you even close to him before. And that’s when you know, he’s preparing himself to dig in. He proves you right as his head leans down, indulging himself with eating you as if you were his last meal.

Bucky has always been vocal about eating you out. Told you a couple of times the enjoyment he found when he went down on you. So it was no surprise whenever he bounced at the chance to get his mouth on you. Especially at a time like those where he’s leaving you mouth wide open as shameless moans and pleas left your body.

And the fact he’s snaking a hand under your tank top just pushes you further into chasing your orgasm. With pebbles nipples under the comfort of his fingers, he fondles the supple skin contrasting the actions of his mouth.

A poor whimper of his name makes him smile against your body. As if his mouth and hand on your breast wasn’t enough, a thick finger slides into you with pure easy.

“Baby…”

“You like that, angel? Huh?”

Answering him with a moan and a buck of your hips, his actions doesn’t falter. Instead, they speed up and attack you with a force that has your chest heaving up and down. Incoherent babbles of words echoes the room as Bucky nears you to your first orgasm, knowing damn well there’s no way he’s letting you off with just one.

As your body shakes through your climax, Bucky is reeling in the way you taste. Fingers holding onto your thighs with an iron grip that with no doubt, for sure will leave bruises that’ll remind you on a daily basis of what he had done to you.

And when, finally, your body slumps in exhaustion, your arm lifts from your head to see Bucky kissing up your thigh with a teasing smile. “Jesus.”

And you know that smile. He’s not done with you.

—

The deafening silence of the room sends ease into your system as you count the freckles on Bucky’s bareback. Your eyes roaming over his pale skin, definitely not missing the scratches and claw marks that had been put there by none other. Smiling, you snake an arm around his waist, pulling yourself flush against him. Feeling the warmth of his skin even in the chill of the night.

As usual, your touch sends him to stir in his sleep. Afraid you’ve woken him up, you freeze in your position. Instead, you feel his hand simply lift your own as he turns around to face you. Then he intertwined his fingers with yours, softly pulling on your arm as to wrap it around his waist.

You sense that he’s awake. You always know. And as you smile up at him, his own lips curve upwards subtly.

“I don’t want you to leave, Buck.”

The words are abrupt and sudden as you’ve finally found the voice to speak up. And while they’re truthful, they turn the smile on his face into a frown, one that’s more prominent than ever and it saddens your heart to be the cause of it. But it’s the truth and no matter how many times he’s made you orgasm or how much times he’s spent with you during the last week. It doesn’t change the fact that he’s still leaving.

Slowly, but surely, his eyes flutter open. Icey blue eyes staring right back at you with heavy bags under them. Its a sad picture from the lack of sleep he’s being getting yet he still manages to pull it off.

Your words are only a reminder of the fact that in a short few hours, the two of you have to drive to the airport to bid him a farewell. A sad reality that Bucky refuses to think of right now.

“I know, angel. I don’t either. But I have to.”

With a sigh, you pull yourself off from his embrace and lay flat on your back. Focusing your watery eyes on the high ceiling above you.

You can feel his eyes on you. Scanning your every breath and every movement. You don’t want to do anything but just lay down. Not even look back at him because you know too damn well, you’re going to end up in tears. A situation you simply don’t want to deal with.

“You know how much I love how passionate you are with your job. And how you help people at a very expensive rate,” Theres a chuckle from him. “And how much good you’re probably doing. And how good you are at it. But call me selfish, I hate how I have to share you with everyone else. Especially for a month. I thought six hours of my day was already too long. Imagine a month! That’s nearly 800 hours!”

You somehow find the courage to turn to him with our crying. Though, you’re sure you’re going to break at any second now with how hard your biting your lip as if it’s going to do anything. And you’re sure he can tell by the way his brows are pinched together in concern.

But with the both of you just laying on your sides, looking at nothing but each other. There’s a sense of peace that enters you.

“Can you believe it? You’ll be gone for 800 hours. I don’t think my vibrator will be live that long.” Giggling at your own joke, your eyes find his blue ones. With a gaze so intense, it almost burns a hole in you head. You begin to wonder what’s going on inside of his brain. He’s probably thinking how pathetic you sound. Or how desperate and clingy you are.

As you sigh, your hands come up to your face to rub the tears away. “I’m sorry. You’re leaving for your job. One that you love and I’m being a bitch about it.”

“Hey. Hey.” His hand find yours, holding it to his chest as his other one grips your chin to make you look at him. “No, you’re allowed to be angry. You’re allowed to be sad. You’re allowed to be whatever. This is big for us. It’s a month without each other. I’m as sad as you are.”

With his thumb caressing your cheek in a soft manner, your eyes flutter close to the sensation. Your own imagination pretending that Bucky won’t be leaving in just a few short hours. But your thoughts are cut short when a kiss lands on your lips. Soft and warm lips capturing your own as Bucky kisses you with passion.

Hands cupping you’re cheek and body hovering over yours as he turns. And as surprised as you are, you reciprocate the gesture. With palms pressed flat against his bare chest, you feel the way his muscles flex under your touch. His tongue slipping into your mouth with dominance makes you sinfuly whimper.

Letting him have the control, you feel a hand squeeze your bum, both not only pulling you closer to him but making the gasp that leaves your mouth to be swallowed by Bucky.

And though the two of you seem to be enjoying the kiss, your lungs beg for air. Knowing you’re not going to be the first one to pull, Bucky takes the initiative. His forehead pressed against yours, he breathes heavily above you. Lips mimicking redness of your own, you take the moment to find relief.

“Fuck, I love you.”

Smiling, you bring a hand to cheek, thumb softly rubbing against the stubbled skin you love so dearly. For a moment, you just look at him. Taking in every freckle, every wrinkle and every eyelash. Illuminated under the moonlight, he looks ravishing as ever.

“I love you too, Pookie.”

The nickname returns and Bucky smiles at you; pearly whites and all. And while he loves the words rhay fall like honey from your soft lips, there’s a deeper intention in his affirmation. One that awakens the butterflies in his tummies and he hasn’t felt like that since the first time he had seen you when you had come back.

Shaking his head, along with the forest of ruley curls on his head. He adjusts himself over you.

“No, I mean, I really love you.”

With a giggle, you run a finger along his collarbone. Reeling the way it protrudes out. But when your voice is the only one that fills the room, your eyes peer up at him with question.

“Like, I can’t see a life without you. You make me feel things. You make me feel happy. And I want to be happy with you forever.”

With a wide smile, you look at him with eyes that sparkle. “Forever, huh?” You challenge him. “Seems like a very long time, Pookie.”

“Well, I’m in it for the long run. This isn’t some silly fling, it never was. When I envision my future, I see you.”

Taking in what he says, you pause. Your shock showcases themselves, eyes looking into his for any sign of doubt and when there’s not one that shows, your heart beats out of your chest. Seeming to fill the unwanted silence in the room

“A future, with me?”

“Yes. And despite only a few months into our relationship, being with you feels like time goes slower. I get to enjoy the everyday things with you. And there’s nothing more in this world that I’m sure of.”

You take a moment to reel in his words. You couldn’t say you don’t feel the same because you do! And that’s the best feeling you’ve ever felt. God, the way you’re so deeply in love with this man. Words could not express the amount of joy he gave you. Even to the way he danced his heart out when Fleetwood Mac or Queen blasted on the speaker. Or how he would leave out an extra piece of plums for you, knowing how much you loved the fruit.

Really, even despite the fight the two of you had gone through, not once did you doubt his love. He always proved to you that it was even stronger.

So with smile that reached your eyes, you propped yourself on your elbows in order to reach and peck his lips. Which was suppose to be an innocent kiss, turned passionate.

A hand on the nape of his neck, you pull him flush against your naked body; feeling the way warmth radiated off his own. His lips never left your own, only until that is he decide to dipper his head down further to where he can feel your pulse. Nipping at the soft yet sensitive skin, causing to pull a gasp from you.

Knowing the schedule of his flight, that seemed to be the last thing on your mind as your body bucked up to gain the relief it needed. Only to be disappointed when you didn’t receive enough.

Humoured by the attempt, Bucky’s deep chuckle rumbles through your ear; sending chills down your spine. Frowning, you attempt again, only to be stilled by your boyfriend’s large hands on your lips.

He lifts his head, having his curls curtain his face and his view. “Tell me what you want, ангел.” The hoarseness and thick accent in his sudden Russian ignited the fire in you like flint and steal.

Clearly under the spell of his charm, you obey to his demand. With no doubt in need to feel him, you answer within seconds.

“You, baby. Please, fuck me.”

The desperation in your voice makes a grin, that would challenge the cheshire cat, bloom on his face. Satisfied, though, he won’t verbally admit it, he’s just as needy as you are as he doesn’t even get on his knees to eat you out. Instead, he’s pulling himself free from the containment of his tight boxers. With you already naked and exposed, he doesn’t find any struggle with being hard and finding himself near your cunt.

With one more look that begged for reassurance, you answered him with a small whimper of a please and a squeeze to his tattooed bicep. Focused, he has no trouble pushing himself in you. All slick and honey, the push is easy and fills you the hilt. As always, taking your breathe away once he’s hip to hip with you.

And though it’s just the two of you in his home, with the exception of your cat in the living room, you swallow a moan down. Bucky doesnt take any of it. Wanting to hear his love voice her pleasure, his fingers grip your chin, forcing you to peer up at him with shut eyes.

“Open your eyes, принцесса.”

Princess. He had never called you that before. Though you’re not complaining as it just throws more fuel into the fire. And following his demand, your eyes open to see him above you, cock still and stuffed inside of you, waiting for your pretty doe eyes to open and reveal themselves.

Smiling, he drags his thumb across the bottom of your lip, making your mouth part open in surprise. Frankly, sex with Bucky has never been this soft. Always rough in some ways, you were used to his sharp and even on some occasions, harsh movements. That’s not to say that he’s never been affectionate to you in bed, because he has. A couple of times actually but it was rare as the two of you enjoyed the roughness of the deed rather than the usual. That’s what kept your relationship interesting. The affair. The peculiarity of it all.

But tonight is a different occasion. One that he’s showcasing his love for you. One that was showing how much he was going to be able to touch in times where he feels lonely or stressed. Even in times where he feels done. He’s going to miss how you touched him as he’s not going to be able to feel your soft skin touch his own for a month.

“I love you.”

Three words. Three words that make you forget the obvious fact that he’s stuffed inside you to the brim. Bucky also shows you that with an unwarned pull and push of himself back into you. Catching you off guard, your body is pushed back with a force agasint the bed.

The initial thrust always made you feel euphoric. It’s clear to Bucky by the way he hears a gasp leaves your parted mouth. He takes a moment as well. Wrinkles of lines appearing on his forehead as his body works with him, gifting him the pleasure of feeling you.

As no words are spoken, Bucky repeats his action. Only this time they’re quicker than the last and it makes him feel like the world. Makes him feel you. Makes him feel and heart how you’re squirming and mewling underneath him with every push and drag of his cock out of you.

It’s leaving him breathless, to feel how tight you are around him and to see you like this. To see you with your back arched and breast pushes out with your pebbled nippple in the air. He hears the slaps of skin together as you meet his every trust with a buck of your own hips. Bucky hears how you’re yelling his name, or more so the nickname you’ve grown to call him over the years. The word daddy leaving your lips as it becomes babbles of words.

He’d lean down, press his lips against your pulse and kiss. Which soon turned into an awful lot of sucking, letting you know that you were his. And you knew. You knew that by the time the two of you were done, the few claw marks on his pale back would turn into a dozen which he would have to cover up during his time in LA and your skin would be his very own personal canvas littered with the colour purple. There to remind you of his presence.

And as moans and grunts filled the spring air of the room, both orgasms feel near; causing your lover to speed his movements and slip a hand between the two of you and rub your swollen clit. Enjoying the added sensation, it sends fury between you legs.

“Bucky—” The call of his names alerts him of your climax. Luckily for the both of you, he’s near as well and he feels himself closer than ever.

“I know, принцесса. Hold on for a little longer. Wanna feel your cunt around me.” The dirtiness of his words makes you whimper agasint his chest, hearing how his own beating heart undeniably syncs with yours.

With wailing moans, your breathing turns heavy and rough, a clear indication to Bucky that holding on is becoming difficult. “Please, please.” Your hand found your boyfriend’s wrist, pulling on it to let it rest comfortably on your neck, making you smile in response.

“Y’cumming, baby?”

“Yes.”

A simple answer to a simple question. He smiled at your response, replying with a rough thrust of his own hips. Stilling, a loud cry echoes the room, causing him to slap a hand over your mouth. Hips stilled agasint your hips, he groans, spilling inside you.

Your eyes roll back at the pleasure, moans becoming muffled by his hand. The only thing filling the room is the low squeak of the bed and the slapping of skin.

For a moment, you lose yourself as Bucky presses his lips against yours, gifting you agaisnt with those soft pairs. Only pulling away after a couple of seconds to catch both of your breathes.

Peering up at him, a poor chuckle leaves your lips. “I’m gonna miss that.”

Pulling out, you sigh at the sensation of feeling empty. Something that you always hated feeling after sex. Though, what comes after, aka the aftercare, was always soemthing you can look forward to.

“I’m gonna miss you so much.”

His eyes met yours. Some sort of fondness and sadness in them that makes you frown. He doesn’t say anything, instead he pushes himself off the bed and made his way into the bathroom as he always did. Only to come back with a new pair of boxers on and a piece of cloth as he stood between your worn out legs.

Smiling, he wipes evidence of himself off your thighs, internally frowning when he hears you hiss at the cold contact of your cunt.

“I know, baby. But we’ll be fine, okay? We’ll call everyday and night when I have the chance to.”

“Yeah, I guess. I mean, at least I have something to remember you by.” Looking up, he saves the image of you grinning at him.

He finishes up, tapping your legs closed and slapping your ass for luck, as he would defend. “I don’t know if you mean Alpine or those hickeys on your skin but you’re welcome.”

Once you’re cleaned up and he’s found himself comfortable beside you, you rest your chin on his chest as you look at him. “I like both things you’ve gifted me.”

As his fingers run through your hair, sleep lures in and tales over your exhausted body. Making your eyes heavier and limbs sore, though you’re not sure if it’s sleep that made you the latter.

—

The sun slowly rose over the busy city of Manhattan, casting a soft but powerful glow on the towering skyscrapers. Your eyes watched and focus on every other stranger that walked by, either it be a man on his morning run or a woman, who seemed to be in a hurry, possibly late for work or whatnot. Though, that’s what you loved about the city, with the exception of the subway area as it could possibly be hell. The people that made up New York. Always interesting and always busy. Much like you and your boyfriend as the two of you have busy schedules.

You always make up for lost time though. Seeing that you’re spending whatever time the two of you have left as his driver swerves and turns around streets to get to the airport.

With Alpine accompanying his dad and you, he seems to be saving up his energy as he’s fast asleep on your lap. Occasionally purring when you’re petting him. His noises make both you and Bucky look at each other with a smile, simply content with the small noises.

Soon enough, just as the sun rose up and stood proudly over New York City, the car pulls over into an open space which you can only assume is the airport. And since Bucky is part of the largest firm in Manhattan, of course his boss would send him and his colleagues out with a private plane.

Your focus went directly to the creature on your lap, who, by now, as expected, was wide awake and meow at Bucky with his paws pawing at him. Gladly, Bucky takes him and exits the car with you.

John, Bucky’s driver is already out and removing his luggage from the trunk which you gladly take over for him. Though, he told you he doesn’t mind, you still help him either way as there was quite some cases in there.

As you help John, the sound of another car pulls up and it seems that the two of you are quite early. Seeing that you watch Sam exit the black car and enthusiastically greet Bucky.

“Hey, Y/n!” He calls out for you, making your head pop up at the voice.

Placing the last or Bucky’s things onto the floor, you let John get to bring into the plane while you greet the man you’re family with. “Hi, Sam.” Walking over to the man, he greets you with a hug, one that you always hated as a kid as he was always so excited with his embraces. You catch Bucky grinning at you with Alpine in his hands, making you roll your eyes back at him in response.

Once he pulls away, he smiles at you and turns to your boyfriend. The curve of his lips turning into a frown when he sees the creature Bucky is holding.

“I don’t think bringing a cat to a court room willl help with the case, Barnes.”

“Shut the fuck up, Birdbrain. The daycare is closed on Sundays and I didn’t want Y/n to stay at home, so we just brought him.”

Sam makes a face at his friend, making Bucky question him. “What?”

“Nothing. Is Wanda already here?”

“Wanda is already here.”

All heads turn to the stairs that lead up the plane. There, the beautiful redhead walked down, all legs and heels. Luscious red locks together in a half-up look as tendrils frame her face. Surprised and clearly flustered at your ex-lover’s beauty, you look away and into your boyfriend’s eyes. He never told you that she was coming? So her appearance was all new to you.

“You never told me that Wanda was coming with you.” You squinted your eyes at Bucky, who seems to be nonchalant about the fact that he’s going to be working with your ex for a whole month.

“I did.”

“No, you didn’t.”

He leaned in, hot breath fanning against your ear. “Yes, I did. You were just too busy moaning under me to remember.” You look at him wide eyes, shocked that he’s really doing this now. But you hate to admit it. You did remember now when he had told you. It wasn’t too long ago, if you think hard enough. The two of you spent your day off in bed. Too caught up in each other’s touch to remember anything else.

“Whatever. Give me Alpine.” The creature meows as he hands him to you, his little fangs showcasing themselves as he yells out for his dad. Cradling your pet, you steer your body out of Wanda’s attention as to not bring focus to you. It doesn’t last long though, as Bucky is wrapping an arm around you and pulls you to his side.

Bucky knew of your past relationship with Wanda but as it seems, he doesn’t feel any sign of jealousy over the fact. Maybe it’s because they’re colleagues? She is his paralegal after all so it would make sense for his sense of calmness. You on the other hand, still had to tell Wanda about your boyfriend, the one who she works for.

As Wanda finishes up talking with Sam, the dark skinned man turns to your boyfriend with a nod, signifying that it’s time to leave.

Bucky turns to you, whos all too busy cooing soft words at the small white cat in your arms. Smiling, he hates to break it to you that it’s time. But he has too or he might never want to leave.

So with a finger under your chin, he lifts your head up to catch your eyes. “I’ve gotta go, baby.”

He doesn’t miss how your smile fades from your face, making him replicate the frown. “Already? But we just got here.”

A sigh leaves him because he knew what’d you say. And while it’s true, he couldn’t bare stalling the time any longer as it might shift his decision about leaving. His hands cup your face, feeling the warmth of your cheeks. The two of you can feel the eyes burning holes into your back, though that’s the least of your worries.

“I know. But we have to get to the hotel before one. I’ll text you when I arrive, okay?”

Pausing, he looks at you for a moment, waiting for your input on the plan. Instead, he gets watery eyes and trembling lips as you try to keep your sobs in.

“Hey, hey. Y/n, look at me. Remember what we said last night? We’ll be fine. We’ll call. We’ll talk. Don’t worry too much about it, okay? I’ll be back.” He looks at you, wiping the tears that fall on your cheeks. “Y/n?”

Bucky almost feels offended at the accusation. But he’s not because he knows he won’t forget to call you. Nor forget you at all. Instead, he’s going to promise all those things.

“Okay. Okay. I’m fine.” You take a breath, containing yourself and your oncoming tears. “Just... Please, don’t forget to call, okay?

“Of course. Hell, I might even get those postcards and send some to you. A little souvenir.” He wiggles his brows at you, making you chuckle a little.

“No. I want seashells from the beach. Keep them in a little jar for me?”

“Of course. Anything.” Then a smile, which causes his own lips to curve up in content. “I love you so much. Take care of yourself for me. Alright? I really want to come back to you and Al.”

You nod at request, catching him smile at your action. So he looks at you for moment before leaning down, pulling your lips towards his to kiss you; careful to not crush Alpine between the two of you. Hand circling around the nape of your neck to pull you closer. And as the PDA reveals themselves, both Wanda and Sam avert their eyes, afraid of interrupting an intimate moment.

And as the moment continues, it doesn’t last long as the two of you beg for air. With Bucky being the first one to pull away as he always did. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Pookie.”

He steps back, sadly smiling back at you before you nod at him. Telling him to go before you actually breakdown. “Now, go. Your friends are waiting.”

Turning, he catches his friends scratching their neck awkwardly. “Fine. John’ll drive you back, ‘kay?” You nod and pecks the top of yours and Alpine’s head one last time before walking off. And as you stand there, he joins his colleagues into the plane, sending you one last wave of goodbye before the stairs are pulled back.

As you stand there, you look down at Alpine, who’s clueless to the situation and meows at you. “Yeah? Sure, let’s go home first, okay?” He meows again, making you smile before you call John to bring the two of you home.

And just on time, Bucky rings your phone one last time with a message. A picture of all three of them with thumbs up in the air, smiles as wide as ever as they stare into the camera. **See you soon, angel!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which he finally returns and you celebrate.

Standing in the cold night air, you watched as men, women, and children walked out of the terminal with their bags and suitcases along. And while John sat in the car, parked by the side, the two of you wait for your boyfriend’s arrival after a month gone in California.

With the clock ticking, your hands rub against your arm in effort to warm yourself. He’s been gone too long. Even though the two of you constantly facetimed each other. Reassuring you that he’s fine and asking about you and Alpine instead.

On one occasion, Raven made a surprise guest as Maria asked you to watch her seeing that her babysitter just broke a foot and plus, Sam recommended you often to watch his kid.

The two of you usually fell asleep on call, either too tired or simply the call had gone too long. At the end of the day, always waking up to each other as if he had not left.

But that was over now. He’s here and he’s making his way over to you with a nonchalant face, a black card stuck between his teeth as his arms occupied; probably unaware of your presence. That is, until you take it upon yourself and find sprinting across the terminal to jump in his arms. Now that finally gets his attention.

With a grunt and a step back, he takes a moment to take in who’s the crazy lady who just jumped on him. But as soon as the familiar scent of your coconut shampoo enters his nose, he loosens up and his bag drops from his arms so he can take the piece of plastic he used to buy himself a coffee away in his pocket. Despite his body’s clock telling him no.

As long as you want it to last, it doesn’t. You pull away first to finally get a good look at him. Caramel curls prominent on his head as the tan on his skin makes him glow under the artificial light of the airport. Even with that, it showcases the freckles on his pretty face, making you grin ear to ear.

“Why’s your black card out? You’ve got like what? Couple million between your mouth?”

“I’m gone for a month and this is how you greet me?”

Giggling, your arms snake around the nape of his neck as his fingers play with the lose curls. “Well, then. Don’t have your whole life’s saving in your mouth. Maybe then, I won’t scold you.”

He grins. “Let’s get home first before you start yelling at me.”

You give him a look, pressing your lips together in an effort to suppress a laugh. Your arms drop from his neck, crossing them in front of you giving yourself a moment before you burst out laughing. Your boyfriend merely rolls his eyes, huffing his chest out at your response.

When you’re done, you look up at him. “Okay, okay, C’mon. I’m just kidding.” Your hands cup his warm face, feeling the way his trimmed beard tickled your palm. “Really. I’ve missed you, though. A lot.”

“C’mon. Let’s get to the car first so I can kiss you properly.” You smile, taking his hands into yours.

—

As soon as the door closed behind him and the loud thud of his suitcase filled the hallway, you looked at him under the lack of night in his home. The might from the kitchen glowing into the dark hallway. For a moment, you stare at him. With him doing the same.

The next thing you know, you’re pressed up against the hallway. A hand pressed against your boyfriend’s chest and one on your neck as Bucky kisses you with harshness. Making you gasp into his mouth.

But he pulls away, your mouth parted in surprise as you look at up at him with pressed eyebrows. “What?”

“Alpine. Is he here?”

You have to laugh internally at the fact your boyfriend stopped, what nearly was a make out session, to simply ask about his cat. You grip his chin, making his head turn to you. “He’s with the girls. Now kiss me, it’s been too long.” It comes out as a whine, one that you didn’t intend to come out as needy and desperate but how can you blame yourself?

It’s been a month since you’ve got to touch your boyfriend. The phone sex was great, you couldn’t lie, but it didn’t beat the real thing. And now that’s he’s right here, standing in front of you. You knew you needed your precious to be somewhere else, safe, so you have spend your time greeting your lover a welcome back.

He smiles, feeding off your needy and desperation but honestly? He couldn’t blame you. He’s missed you too much.

So, with a second that passes, his lips are pressed against yours and your back hits the wall with another thud. Taking you by surprise, your eyes widen at his action only for them to flutter close with the familiarity of his touch. The way his tongue glides along the bottom of your lips elicits an excited gasp from you.

And when you feel his hand snake up to your neck and wrap itself around you, there’s a prominent but subtle whimper that leaves your mouth.

The innocent kiss soon turns into something more. With his body pressed up against yours, you don’t fail to miss the bulge pressing against your clothes centre. Luckily, you wore something more accessible and apparently so was Bucky as you felt his hand dip down the waistband of your pants and into your underwear.

With that, it causes you to pull away from his lips with your own mouth parted open and eyes shut close. He smiles at the way you look right now. All desperate and needy just as he expected you would be when he came back.

And when his fingers dips inside your wet cunt, a loud gutted moan echoes the empty hallway. “That’s it, baby. You feel that?”

A small whimper of _yes_ leaves your lips. With your head lolling down and stopping to lean it on his shoulder, he almost chuckles at your reaction. Feeding off the way you’re practically melting at his touch.

But it only lasts a while as he snatches his hand away, making you whine and widen your eyes at the sudden motion. “Hey!” He clicks his tongue at, silence you with a look before gripping your chin to force you to look at him. While his other hand scooped your legs up and wrapped itself around his waist, leaving you flush right up against his body and the wall.

The feeling of his hard on pressed right against your clothes core leaves you with chest heaving and heavy eyes. But the way he’s staring right at you forces you to keep them open. You want to be vocal about his touch, to tell him to fuck the sense out of against the wall, to make you cum harder than he had ever done before. However, you knew the consequences of going against him.

So instead, you let your body do the talking and buck your hips against his own. Rubbing yourself against the bulge in his pants in order to relieve yourself of desperation.

Clearly it works as a full gasp leaves your lips. It makes your lover tilt his head, a knowing look on his face as your hips don’t seem to halt their movements. Instead, you’re gripping tightly onto his biceps, bottom lip between your teeth and you’re getting yourself off to boner.

Too lost in your own pleasure, the hand that’s snug around your throat brings you back to the dawning reality. “You want my cock so bad, don’t you? Huh?” It’s a rhetorical question yet you still dumbly nod at. “My angel felt so tight ‘round my fingers. Guess you didn’t listen and used those toys I told you to use, huh?”

The way his vulgar words echo deep into your ear just throws more fuel into the fire that sits on the pit of your stomach. Though, you mindlessly whimper at his words, making his laugh at your reaction. But the lack of answer is something he isn’t going to accept. He wants to be answered and clearly, he’s going to get it as a hand comes into hot contact with your cheek.

“Answer me, принцесса.” The familiarity of the nickname brings you back to the first time he had used it. Unaware and too caught up of the pleasure in fucking the sense out of you in the secrecy of his car, it slips from the roughness of his tongue as he forced you to glide in sync with his own hips. The both of you drawing out the pleasure of the orgasm in order to reel in the sensation of each other’s hot body.

But you’re looking at him dumbfounded, trying to find your tongue and the answer to his question. And when you do, you’re thankful as ever as all you crave is the same feeling you had that faithful moment in his car. “I - I couldn’t. It didn’t feel as good as you.”

The answer seems to please him, feeding the grin that crawls obviously on his tanned and freckled face. With the help of the caramel curled tendrils, it powers the attraction you have for the older man.

“You use your fingers?” The question is as genuine as it is a turn on. Making the blood rush to your cheeks, in resulting hot skin in the chill of his home. The sudden embarrassment results in a loss for words, resorting to a simple shake of your head to answer him. “That’s alright. We’ll get it to fit.” His mischievous grin turns to a teasing smile, warning you of the wonders to come when he finally finds his way with you.

And while there might be many things, he wants to do with you, fucking you against the thin walls where his neighbours can directly hear the lustful whines and begs of his girlfriend. No, instead, he chooses that’s for another day and chooses to neglect the he strewn backs and suitcases on the heated marble floors of his hallway. Bringing to the kitchen in order to set your ass on the kitchen counter where he had once found himself between your legs on his birthday, he had the liberty to do it all over again.

Standing in between your part legs, still softly wrapped around his hip, he pauses for a moment and stares at you with oceanic eyes and a smile that once teased you, turned loving. For a moment, even in the soft glow of the short hanging lights, he’s taken a look at you; plump lips, red and swollen due to the kissing, and bruised skin already transforming into a light shade of purple. If he weren’t so deprived of your touch, he would’ve apologized the harshness of his actions prior.

However, all sense and logic is gone as soon as you’re reaching to cup his warm and stubbled cheek to pull him in for a kiss. With no hesitation of diving in with your tongue, your lover doesn’t seem as shocked. Instead, he’s actually pleased and joining you as well.

Seeing that the kiss isn’t the priority right now, he pulls away in seconds, giving himself a moment to ask for your consent as he always does. With a nod and faint whisper, you tell him yes, quite needy in fact. Though, it doesn’t faze you since he’s right here, mere inches away from you when he had simply been thousands of miles a few moments ago.

Sneakily, a hand crawls down your tummy and finds its way to the small metal button that kept your pants together, unbuttoning so he can pull the denim off your legs. While you sit there merely in your underwear, he’s peeling off the lace-patterned fabric off your body; causing the cold air of the room to raise the hair on your body.

You can see the smile on his face as he peers up at you from his view downstairs. Though, you love that look on his face, the anticipation he’s bringing is tearing you apart. He can see that on you, which is why he doesn’t spend too long kissing up your thigh; occasionally pausing to painting your skin purple with newfound hickeys.

When he finally reached where you want him to be, the first lick is euphoric. A feeling you never knew you craved for until now. As a moan slips from your mouth, your hand finds its way rooted into the forest of brown hair, slightly pulling in an effort to pull your lover closer to you.

As the sounds of lustful whines and whimpers echo the kitchen in the dark of the night, your legs clench around his head with the intent of orgasm.

And he can tell that as he pulls away, tongue making a cameo to lick his lips off your honey. With a heaving chest and an arm draped over your face, Bucky peers over you and removes your to see you. Smiling, a hand comes to contact with your warm cheek, his thumb softly rubbing the skin causing your eyes to flutter close.

“Tell me if it’s too much, okay?” You simply nod and hear the sound of a belt unbuckling, accompanied with the familiar unzipping.

You’ve been waiting for this moment for too long. 31 days way too long. And while that meant you were going to get the best orgasm of your life; it was going to take a moment to have him in you. Seeing that you didn’t use those toys he said and barely used your fingers when you went solo. Knowing Bucky, he wasn’t the average man.

Staring back at his baby blues, your bottom lip is stuck between your teeth as you reel in the anticipation. Thankful for the way your boyfriend is holding hand as he presses himself against you.

The first touch is what makes you gasp in pleasure, a simply moan leaving your lips as he rubs himself against your swollen clit in an effort to get himself all lube up. “Bucky... Please.” A poor beg comes out of you, despite your effort not to be desperate and needy.

“I know, honey, I know. Give me a second.” And you. Letting the time pass, you suddenly feel him push against your entrance. Feeling the way, he struggles to push in due to your tightness, despite you dripping onto the counter. He only pushes a bit in, pausing to have his head just barely in you. “You okay?” He asks, turning his attention from your cunt to you; a worried look on his face.

You barely even answer him with words, just a nod sufficed and that’s all he needed to continue. So, he pulls back, only to push back again, this time getting more than just the tip inside. He was halfway there, so he looked at you for reassurance and froze when he saw you with shut eyes and a parted mouth.

A sigh leaves you when you feel him stop, letting you catch your breath for a moment so you can reel in the way he feels. “I’m okay, I promise. Please keep going.” He takes it and nods.

Once again, he pulled back and within seconds sunk back in. Only this time, he was able to push all of himself right into you. A high whimper coming out as your hands grip tightly around his own. Bucky matches your pleasure with a deep and gutted groan of his own.

For a moment, the two of you stay in that position, taking in how each of you feel for the first time in a month. “How does it feel?”

“B-Big.” You tell him between a moan and a whisper. And while you enjoy that feeling, you want more. He can tell by the way you're squeezing his hand periodically to let him know otherwise.

“Okay, just breathe.” Nodding, your eyes flutter open and catch him on top of you. He's large, broad, and yet somehow, he still manages to bring you comfort to where to some, they would be afraid.

As soon as his hips start moving, it starts as subtle pain rushes through; much like what you had experienced during your first time. But with time, it turns more pleasurable than ever. The way his hips turn more rough and violent made your body convulse with every movement.

The loud and incoherent noises of your babbles echo the kitchen, mixing with slapping of skin to skin. “You alright, angel?” You answer him with a nod and a moan.

Soon enough, with rough and violent thrusts, they become staggered and stuttered as Bucky neared his orgasm. Along with you, with an arched back and pebbles nipples peaking from the confinement of your shirt, you moan out a plea and a call of his name, telling him of your climax.

Picking yourself up, your arms wrap themselves around Bucky’s broad body with a iron grip. Your face buried in his chest, the scent of his cologne entering your nose once again for the first time in months. Though, you had worn his sweaters and shirts while he was gone, it didn’t beat the real thing.

“Bucky...” Your mind wanders off as he brings you to the edge, a thumb pressed and circling against your swollen clit to push you all the way. In which he does, bring a loud gutter scream to boom in the kitchen, mixing with the sound of Bucky’s groans as he stills himself inside you.

The two of you stay like that for a moment, letting each other calm down from the wracking orgasm the two of you have ever experienced. With your head laying on his chest with an arm thrown around his neck, you feel the way he rubs circles on your back.

“Holy fuck, did I miss that.”

You chuckle at his words, pulling away from the embrace to peer up at him. Seeing the post orgasm glow on his face, you smile as you bring a hand to pull him down for a kiss. It’s short but meaningful as it’s a routine the two of you develop. “Let’s clean up first before we go another round, how about that?”

“Sounds perfect.”

—

And he stuck with his promise.

As he brought you to the shower and washed your bruised body, he made sure to kiss every purple mark he had painted your skin with. Periodically whispering soft kind words and apologies in your ear when he kissed your shoulder, even so when he washed your hair and body.

When it was his turn to be cleaned, you reassured him with all your might that you were fine, and you enjoyed it. That’s how it always was. Despite the amount of times you had reassured him, he still apologized for the hickeys and bruises.

That was all forgiven and forgotten as he fucked you against the wall, the cold tiles making your back arch to push your tits closer to Bucky. He swore that he could reel in the feeling of you forever if it weren’t for the water turning cold, then he would have to take the both of you out.

He supposed it was for the best, he needed to unpack his luggage anyways.

And that’s what he was doing as you laid on the bed with nothing but your underwear and a button up on, re-watching Friends to get a laugh out of yourself. Every now and then, Bucky would glance over you, smiling when he’d catching you giggling at something Chandler said. If he weren’t so enamoured by you, he would’ve been done folding and sorting out his stuff but honestly? He didn’t mind.

And how could he not? There laid a goddess on his bed, wearing practically nothing with the exception of his Hawaiian shirt hanging off your shoulder, giving him a peak of the hickeys he had placed minutes prior.

He tried to return to what he was doing, only to get distracted once again by what was in his suitcase, reminding him once again of you. “Oh! Remember that souvenir you asked me?” He looked over his shoulder, catching you looking back at him with curious eyes.

“Yeah.”

“Look, what I brought.”

He turns around, a small jar in his hands filled with seashells from the beaches of the west coast. The sight makes you squeal in excitement as you crawl your way across the bed and over to him.

“Oh my god, you actually got it!” He hands you the jar and watches your face glow with glee as you observe the shells through the glass. “This probably took you like forever to fill. Oh my god. This is so awesome, Pookie.”

He merely shrugs as if it’s nothing, despite the fact that you’re right and it nearly took him forever as his schedule was so busy that he practically never had the time to go to the beach. But he did, for you. Because you had asked him to and if you asked him again, he would most likely do it again.

“Wait. So, you know how Alpine can’t sleep without his toys in his bed?” You nod. “And how the two of you have been watching a lot of Disney movies?” You nod once again. “Well, I got him this Mickey Mouse stuffed toy for him! I found it at the Disney store during my last day!” When he pulls out the said toy, you gasp at the sight. Thinking of how cute it is, you’re smiling like crazy and making grabby hands to see the product on its own.

“Oh my god, Bucky, he’s going to love this! This is so cute and tiny just like Alpine! You’ve really outdone yourself this time, Barnes.”

“Oh, I know. I should quit my job and be a personal shopper instead.”

“You totally should!”

Your giggles send a smile to appear on his face. “Thank you!” Pushing yourself on your tippy toes, you peck your lover’s lips before returning to the bed with a bounce. Your phone already in your hand as you take a picture of both your gift and Alpine to send to the girls, who’s probably going to show the white creature what his daddy got him.

Shaking his head, Bucky returns to what he was doing, finishing up the last of the clothes before he pushed his drawer closed and his closet shut. Then he’s back in bed with you, laying on his stomach just as you are. His head leaning on your shoulder as he watched you get on a FaceTime call with your friends, only to see Alpine pop up on your screen.

“Hi, baby!” Your smile widens on your face, waving your hand across the screen before moving the phone to show Bucky. “Look, it’s daddy!”

The phone turns to your lover, showcasing how Alpine looks at the camera, confused and shocked at how his humans are in a little box. He almost looks frozen, if it weren’t for the meows and occasional licks of his tongue.

A laugh is shared between the two of you, both of your attentions still on her phone as the camera pans down at Alpine who’s strutting around the apartment. Kate’s voice speaks through the phone, talking about how he wouldn’t let America pick him up or how he wouldn’t go anywhere without his toys.

Nevertheless, it made Bucky miss his precious even more. But he was glad you brought him to your friends to be babysat, he wouldn’t trust anyone else to do that unless if it were the daycare.

When the phone call ends and your phone is thrown across the bed, your attention turns to you boyfriend who’s smiling at you. “Can I help you, sir?”

The two of you lie on your sides, facing each other with grins present on both of your faces. With the sound of faint laughter playing in the back, your focus is pointed towards your boyfriend and only him.

“Do you ever think of having kids?”

The questions take you totally back, but you don’t show him that. Instead, you purse your lips in question as if it shows you were thinking about the answer. Though, there was really no question in what you wanted. You knew with no doubt.

“ _Maybe_. Having kids is not really my priority in life. I don’t know if I ever want them in the future though. Maybe if life goes well and I have enough to provide and time to give, then yeah. Do you?”

He answers you with a faint nod. “Yeah. When I got married to Natasha, the first thing that I remember was thinking of this beautiful family me and her would’ve have. I used to think that they’d have my eyes and their mom’s hair and all. My mom was always a family person, growing up with that in my life made me want to care for my own. That never really happened though.”

Staring at him, you’re unsure what to think of the topic. Having kids was something you never thought it. You did, once, but it was never a priority in your life. Your career was. There was so much more in life than children and you knew that. You wanted to experience that. The only thing is that Bucky already experienced that. He experienced what it was like to travel around the world, to fall in love, to get your heartbroken, to experience that success. You haven’t and you knew deep in your heart that it was you wanted.

Your goals were much different than Bucky’s and you didn’t know how that would affect your relationship with him.

So, you stayed quiet. Unsure of what to say, afraid that it may cause a crack in your relationship, one that the two of you are still trying to work on.

“Y/n?”

“You know, maybe, we should go to bed. It’s late, anyways and we have to pick up Alpine tomorrow.”

He watches you pick yourself up from the bed, unbuttoning his shirt to throw it into the laundry basket, choosing to sleep shirtless as you occasionally did. He can tell the way you refuse to meet his gaze that the topic of children definitely bothered you. And when you tuck yourself in, you simply pecking his cheek and greeting him a goodnight before reaching over to the lamp to turn it off.

Soon enough, you’ve fallen asleep with Bucky’s arm snakes around your waist to pull you flush against his chest. He never really thought that the topic of kids would send you like this. He wrongfully assumed that you were on the same page with him, unfortunately, you weren’t, and he would definitely need to discuss about it with you.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which bucky surprises the reader with something she never would’ve thought she needed.

As the week passed by, so did the topic of kids. But it didn’t mean that it didn’t linger in your thoughts. And it did. Quite a lot, especially at work when you had to hang out with children in their classes. It made you wonder, that how ironic of you to be working with children when you don’t want any of your own.

Perhaps that was it. You loved being around them, teaching them, helping them, but you only did that for six hours of your day. You didn’t want to spend the rest of your 18 hours worrying about a child. Some may call you selfish or heartless, but it was definitely something you didn’t want to deal with at the moment.

However, it doesn’t mean you aren’t opposed to the idea of kids in the future. Sure, you would love to devote your life to these kids, that is when you’re much older and well taken care of. And that’s not to say you aren’t right now. You’re financially stable, happy, and more importantly loved. But you strive more for your career and being a social worker at an elementary school is just the beginning.

And as much as you loved the idea of kids, your life has a lot of things set for you.

Although you’re set with your decision, you’re afraid it clashes with Bucky’s. Seeing that he expressed his love for having kids that one night, you were unsure of how to feel. Jealousy? Disappointment? Sadness? All of it at once as you realized that you may not be that woman who’ll be able to give him kids because he’ll get tired of waiting. Then that same bubbling feeling of jealousy when Natasha came up. How were you supposed to compete with the first woman he ever loved and wanted a family with? No doubt if they hadn’t divorced and Natasha hadn’t left for California, they would’ve made a beautiful couple with beautiful kids. Something you definitely could never give him, well, at least for a while.

And while the days passed on the topic of kids, Bucky seemed to have forgotten about the issue, more so attempted to forget it as the two of you had sex more often. Maybe it was the fact that he had just returned, and his sex drive is insatiable or maybe it was the former.

Needless to say, it was the obvious and the two of you were lacking once again in the communications department. Something the two of you heavily need help and improvement. Either way, you or him had soon to speak up about the issue as it would with no doubt strain on your relationship. And you were going to take this as a learning curve, take the chance to finally talk to him.

So, as you wait for the hours to tick by, you spend the rest of your hour on your phone, all work and paper done nearly two hours ago. As you scroll through your social media, your phone dings with a message from none other.

> **POOKIE** ♡: 157th W 57th St. After work, text when you’re there. Sorry can’t pick you up, love u.

Your eyes widen slightly at the message. Curious, you copy and paste the address into Google maps, resulting in a building in front of Central Park. You turn into streets view, scrolling across the screen to see where your boyfriend is making you go. But you come up with nothing, just a large building saturated with glass walls and cars.

You make a face of confusion, wondering why Bucky is asking you to go here. And as it seems, you’re not the only one questioning your confusion as Lucy, the school’s secretary snorts at your face. “You look like my son trying to figure out what’s five times five. What’s on your phone that’s gotten you so confused?”

Your head snaps up to the blonde, an awkward chuckle leaving your lips. “Ahah, yeah, sorry. It’s my boyfriend.”

“He’s the one with the tattoos, right? Beard and black suit?”

“Uh, yeah. How’d you know?” You ask, seeing that you’ve never introduced him to your friends at work.

“Caitlyn and I always see him park by the front, he’s always waiting for you there. We also stay after school for a bit and see you with him when he picks you up. It’s adorable, really. My husband doesn’t even bother holding the door for me anymore.” The roll of her eyes make you chuckle.

Perhaps Bucky was more of the touchy type of partner. At least he was better than your exes, the same ones who didn’t even bother giving you back your stuff at their places. Maybe that’s the reason why you haven’t gotten into a serious relationship. Whatever the reason, you knew you had someone better and that was Bucky.

With a shrug, you blow it off as nothing because it really is. It’s what Bucky does for you and you appreciate him greatly for it. “It’s what he does. Picks me up from work and drops me off. It’s our routine.”

“Well, maybe you should tell him to visit sometimes. We’d love to meet the man of your dreams.”

“Oh, please. He’s hardly the man of my dreams. He leaves the toilet seat up like any other man. You can’t trust them to do a simple thing these days.”

“That is true. But anyways, you and him should come over sometime for dinner.” You simply nod at her invitation, mentally noting to mention it to Bucky when the two of you are alone.

When the time is right and your day is over, you pack things up and you’re usually the first one to go unless you had an appointment with a student after school; which was quite unlikely. Thankfully it wasn’t one of those days and you were able to say goodbye to your colleagues and make your way to the station and take the train.

—

It didn’t take too long. Nearly half an hour but seeing that you came from the edge of Yorkville and you needed to go to the upper side of Midtown, it was reasonable. You had texted Bucky halfway there that you were on your way, he merely texted back with a heart.

When you got off at your stop and made your way back to the streets, the place felt different, more New York and you liked it. Soon enough, you finally arrived at the building and entered the front lobby. It was huge, to say the least. Security guard at the front door, a doorman who politely greeted you as he opened the set of doors for you. The lobby looked like you just entered a five-star hotel. With a beautiful chandelier hanging over the front area, there stood large couches for guests to sit on as they wait. The man at the front stood behind a large desk, his head ducked down as he looked at something in his computer.

You looked completely at awe and had forgotten what you truly here for. Until Bucky reminded you by asking where you were. You fished out your phone from your bag and texted him about your arrival, he simply told you to ask the front desks about Jessica Glazer and just follow along.

You wondered what he had in store for you or what was up with the secrecy but you trusted him a lot and knowing Bucky, he wouldn’t even dare to put you in any kind of danger. That one memory of you in the kitchen pops up when the hot oil had been splashing and Bucky literally had to drag you out of the kitchen because he claimed it was for your safety. You rolled your eyes at that memory, playfully getting mad at him that day.

Nonetheless, you follow what Bucky asked you to do and made your way to the front desk. The man peer up at you with a question look. “Can I help you, ma’am?”

“Uh, yeah. I’m here for Jessica Glazer.”

He perks up at the name and nods, jerking his head as a motion for you to follow him. He leads you to the elevator, sticking in a key into the hole and the elevator opens. He doesn’t go in with you, though. Just presses the 38th floor and leaves you to it. It takes a while to get up, if you’re being honest.

But when you do finally get to the 38th floor, the door dings open and you’re greeted by a large painting of a woman. It’s abstract. Bold and flamboyant colours yelling at your face as it makes up of the woman. You don’t stare too long as you catch faint chatter somewhere in the room.

You drag your legs down the small corridor and into the open space which it leads to. What you see takes you back and your jaw drops to the floor at the beautiful sight the large windows gave you. “Holy fuck.” You didn’t even realize the fact that you had audibly yelled that out loud until a chuckle fills the room. Your head snaps back to reality and you see Bucky standing beside a brunette with a smile on her face.

“Oh, you’re here. Thank god.” He makes his way to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder to press a kiss to your temple. Then he’s walking you towards the lady in the black body-con dress.

“Y/n, this is Jessica Glazer, she’s the real estate agent that was just showing me this gorgeous home.” She smiles at Bucky, one that’s a little too friendly for your likely but you let it go and stick your hand out. “Jessica, this is my girlfriend, Y/n.” She takes your hand, her smile fading away into a forced one and you have to replicate the same look as she shakes your hand. “We were just waiting for you to arrive before we started the tour.”

Now that you were putting two and two together, you finally understood what this place was and why you were here. This was a home, not some hotel that you thought it was. It was a luxurious home, one that you were sure that you couldn’t afford but window shopping doesn’t hurt anyone.

Giving your boyfriend a look that he knew you well, he gives you one in return. “Just give it a chance, please?”

“Fine.” He smiles, squeezing your hip reassuringly. Then he’s nodding at Jessica and then she starts.

She first talks about the amenities of the building. The luxurious perks such as the private pools and gym. She talks about the being stuff, most of which you ignore and find yourself focusing more on the view. Though, Bucky seems as interested in the talks about the building’s history.

When she finally takes the two of you around, she mentions the large living area and the kitchen with beautiful marble counters and the wine coolers and hand-crafted custom cabinetry. All of which you adored and imagined making dinner on most nights.

She moves to the bedrooms. With 2 guest bedrooms and one master, the home was definitely large and filled with every extra detail you could ever imagined. There was a large closet by the master, while the bathroom and remaining rooms were gifted with large open views of Central Park through the windows.

Especially the bathroom by the master, there by the window laid a beautiful tub where you could definitely imagine yourself stuck in during nights where work was tough.

But you paused as Jessica led you through the third and last room in the home, making you question why you needed more than one room for just the two of you. “Hey, baby?” Bucky hummed at your call. “Why do we need three rooms if it’s just the two of us?”

Jessica paused, waiting for the two of you to return your focus after your conversation. Though, she couldn’t help but intervene and answer for her client. “Perhaps make one a kid’s room and an office?”

Your chest tightens at the mentions of kids again and you can tell it brings an awkward tension into the room as the brunette furrows her brows in hesitation. Jessica attempts to fix it by suggesting another idea, after all, she wants to make a sale and not ruin her client’s relationship. “Or... Some clients of mine buy homes with more rooms than they intended for a personal office space.”

You take the suggestion, thinking it over and she’s right. Maybe Bucky can have his own office just like he does in his Brooklyn home and perhaps a guest room for, well, guests. Or when you get angry at him and you don’t feel like sleeping with him that night. You can see it. You can make it work. You’re most likely just over thinking and you needed to focus.

“Yeah, I could set up space here and we can just leave the other room empty for now. Turn it into whatever room we want it to be.” He insinuates the last part, letting you know that you have the decision here.

“No, no. We can make it into guest bedroom or something. For when friends come over or, if, we fight, and I don’t want to see your face.” He chuckles at that last part, slightly thankful that you’re somewhat on the same page as him.

As soon as Jessica finishes the tour, the three of you end up back at the living room. The brunette sends the two of you a look, following with a, “So? What do you guys think?”

You feel Bucky’s peer down at you, waiting for your own criticism and decision knowing that he has already has his set. You turn to him, hesitant to set on your answer. Jessica excuses herself, giving the two of your privacy to talk over your decision. “As perfect as this home is, how much do we have to pay to use that bathtub on a daily basis?” He gives you a shocking answer. “Are you kidding?! Bucky—”

“I’m paying for it. Every single penny. You can argue all you want. I’m paying. You can buy the groceries every month, whatever. The take-out or anything else. But I want to provide us our new home. We’ve earned this, angel. I can see myself lounging on some big ass couch with you in the living room. Or in the bathtub with you in my arms with bubbles around us.” He takes your face into his hands, forcing you to look at him in the eyes.

And while you’re hesitant about the monthly cost, you couldn’t agree more on the latter. This apartment was perfect. Right in the city near your work and near his. Bucky must’ve done well in his research for this home in the past week.

“And... I know things has gotten weird between us through the week ever since that conversation and I know kids may not be what you want at the moment or ever, that’s okay. I didn’t be with you for that. I hope you know that. I’ll still be with you regardless with no kids or not. We still have Alpine, hopefully that bastard finds someone, and he gives grandkids. But whatever it is, please talk to me about it because I don’t want you to feel obligated to sacrifice your happiness for my own. And if me buying this home is weighting you down, we can always find something that both of us can weight in equally.”

He’s pulling you in for a hug, a much needed one. And while you wanted to bring up the topic of kids tonight, you were thankful Bucky seemed to learn from your first major argument and communicated with you and understood and respected your feelings. You’re grateful for his value of your opinion and though he didn’t have to agree with it, he still took it in consideration and confronted you in a respectful manner. A lesson taught from the both of you.

With your cheek pressed against the soft cotton of his suit, your furrow your brows and are quick to answer his doubts about the home. “Um, no. If you think about passing up on that beautiful bathtub and that view, I’m going to give you the bluest balls you’ve ever received.”

“I take it as a yes?”

“Only if I get to pay for everything else. I, too, want to provide for in this relationship and I don’t want to be the sugar baby everyone thinks I am.” Chuckling, he presses a kiss to your forehead before you pull away and Jessica returns.

“I hope we’ve made a decision?” She asks.

You nod, smiling up at your lover for confirmation. He returns the gesture with another squeeze on your hip. “Yes, we’ll take it.”

And who would’ve thought that your day would end up buying a new home with Bucky.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which they finally moved in and there’s a moment of reminiscence that turns into something that y/n has never quite experienced in their relationship. (reader loses herself in subspace)

“Buckyyy, Alpine is eating my flowers again.” You whined out loud, pouting at your cat who teased the sunflower that sat comfortably in a vase. The white creature turned to you, almost taunting you with what he’s about to do. You give your cat a look, whispering a firm no at him. It didn’t really work as he ended up take a bite out of the petals, making you groan in frustration. “Alpine! Get off!”

You had to pick up the cat from the dining table, huffing when he returns and simply peers up at you. Then there’s a chuckle that enters the living room, looking up you see Bucky walking in with a box named kitchen. He places it down on the kitchen island, wiping the dust off his hand on his joggers before walking over to you.

Occupied, you scold your pet in front of you, unaware of what you’re really yelling about, Alpine simply meows. You roll your eyes, turning behind you to catch Bucky. “He’s been relentless. He’s been following me for like forever. Won’t leave me alone.” His arms snake around your waist, pulling you close to him so he can rest his chin on your head.

“He always did like you better. Plus, we just moved in a new home, maybe he’s just getting used to the surrounding and so he latches on to you.”

You huff at his reasonable explanation. “Ugh, I hate that you’re right. You know he tried killing me in my sleep once? Sat right on my face.”

“He has been quite vicious lately.”

“I’m telling you; Kate and America did something to our sweet boy.” Bucky chuckles at that, kissing your exposed shoulder afterwards sending shivers down your spine. “What do you think Lucy and her husband will be like at their dinner? She seems nice at work but maybe that’s just her work personality.”

He turns to you, almost confused by what you mean. “Work personality?” You nod, twirling around to face him.

“Yeah, the personality you put on for work. I used to do it all the time in high school and university. There was a lot of people I hated but I had to be nice to. I wasn’t popular but people knew me but not enough to actually care, you know. How about you, what’s your work personality?”

Sitting back onto the edge of the table, Bucky moves between your legs, hands on your waist as he purses his lips in question. “Mmh, I don’t know. I’m usually very nice.”

The sound of a meow catches both of your attention. Alpine has made his way onto your lap, purring and making himself comfortable as he’s gone to do in the past month or two. Now that he’s not eating your flowers, you don’t mind him cuddling with you. You may not speak cat but you’re sure this is how he apologizes.

Raising your head back up, you give Bucky a look of doubt. A smirk on your face because you knew that he’s a cold-hearted bitch when he’s at work. He loves his career, maybe not because of the actually lawyering he has to do but the fact that he gets to scare the interns into doing what he wants. You’ve seen it a couple of times, actually. When you had gone and brought him lunch at his office, you had caught him in a middle of a lecture regarding about some stupid paperwork.

He caught your eye across the room, that hard cold stare soon fading into a smile as he marched over to you. He got scolded that afternoon and didn’t get to touch you as he usually loved to do, despite your warnings of his very transparent glass walls.

“Mmh, are you sure?”

He pretends an offence. “Excuse me, I am probably the nicest one out of the office.”

“Probably. Keyword there, darling.”

His eyes squint as at you, eyeing you done before snatching you off the table and twirling you around the large room. The bright rays of sun entering the living area as the shades are pulled up and the windows give you the gorgeous view of central park.

And as a squeal escapes from your lips as Bucky spins you around, the room is filled with giggles and laughter, both coming from the two of you.

Once he stops, regaining his stance once again, he peers down at you. Face cupped between his hands and he smiles. “I still can’t believe we bought a home together.” You tell him.

“You make me so happy, you have no clue.” As his leans down, he captures your mouth with his. Soft lips colliding with you own, slightly chapped accompanied with the faint taste of strawberry lip-balm lingering on your skin. Bucky can taste it, the sweet savoury taste as he licks your bottom lip for consent.

When you gift him entrance, the force of his kiss earns you a step back. But the nauseating feeling in the depths of your stomach makes you pat his chest twice, signaling for him to pull back. When he does, he’s holding your face close with his forehead pressed against yours. He’s breathless yet still manages to voice his concern.

“You alright?”

You shake your head, your hand topping your stomach as if it were going to help with the nausea.

“Okay, let’s sit you down for a moment and I’ll get you some water.”

He pulls the chair out, letting you sit down as he makes his way to the kitchen. Staring at the wooden floors, you hear soft steps and Alpine pauses in front of you. His large doe eyes peer up and he lets out a meow. “I’m not feeling too well, Al. Can’t play with you today. Sorry.” He meows again. “Maybe later.”

He doesn’t seem to budge, just stares at you until Bucky returns with the glass of water. You take it, thanking him afterwards. As you down the liquid, Bucky watches you for a moment before speaking up.

“Are you sure it’s just some bug? Maybe we should see the doctor.” You shake your head, waving him off.

“No, it’s fine. It’s probably going to go away if I just continue the medication. Plus, we can’t cancel on Lucy. She’s been dying for this dinner.”

“Okay but if you don’t feel well enough to go, just tell me. I’ll cancel my plans to take care of you.” He stands up from where he’s seated, which is right beside you, and presses a kiss to your forehead before he returns to the kitchen to unpack the box of kitchen utensils.

“You do know where the spoons and forks go, right?”

He scoffs at this accusation, playfully offended. “Do I know where the spoons and forks go? No, in fact, Y/n, I do not.” Mocking you, it earns him a roll of your eyes. “Just rest until we have to get ready.”

You get up from the chair, having Alpine on your tail before stopping to where Bucky is. Leaning over the counter, he does the same as the two of you share a quick kiss before you head off to the bedroom.

With everything nearly unpacked and placed in the home, you’re thankful that the two of you chose to do the bedroom first. You were able to fall flat on the large king size bed, drowning in the abundance of pillows and soft sheets beneath you. And as a small groan leaves your exhausted body, you hear a small meow answer you back. “Daddy is very nice, isn’t he?” He meows once again, seemingly as if he were able to understand and answer you. “Yeah, I suppose. But I’m very thankful that we have daddy around.”

Alpine stares at you as he licks himself, making you giggle at the view you lift the creature up and place him rather comfortably onto your stomach. He doesn’t move, he’s almost frozen. But you’re thankful because he listens when you start venting to him about work and your father. Eventually moving off you when you find yourself asleep.

—

The sensation of another hand touches your face, resulting you in turning and waking up. Your eyes flutter open and your boyfriend’s face comes into view, earning a smile from the man and you. “Hi, Pookie.”

“Hi, Peach.” His hand tucks a stray hair behind your ear. “Did you sleep well?”

A soft answer leaves from you as you move yourself into his arms, laying your head into his chest as his hand smooths down your hair. “What time is it?”

“We still have about three hours till the dinner. Are you sure you still want to go?” You nod at his question, a little irritated that he keeps asking you that, but you understand the concern. You’ve been “sick” for a while now. Often nauseating moments that make you want to throw up, sometimes you do, but on most occasion, you just suck it up and take some medication for your stomach.

Lost in your thoughts about your own medical mystery, a hand roams Bucky’s chest, feeling the buff muscles flex under your touch when you slip a hand under his shirt. “Why’d you call me that?”

A soft hum slips his mouth, questioning your own wonder. “Call you what?” His eyes bow down to your face, your bottom lip stuck between your teeth when your hand snakes further down his stomach. He’s not unaware to what you’re desiring but he’s pondering what’s on your mind at the moment, attempting on his own to not take you at the moment.

“ ** _Peach_**. You haven’t called me that in a while. Made me feel like that 19-year-old girl again.”

“Well, you sure are acting like that 19-year-old girl again.”

His comment makes you roll your eyes at him, ignoring the fact that he’s right and you’re needy than ever. But that doesn’t matter, all of your attention is focus on him and you want to feel him.

“So? We had so much fun back then.”

With that, he feels a hand dip down his sweats, soft hand sliding against his public bone before resting on top of his boxers.

“Baby...” He warns, though you ignore his warning by pressing your lips against his in a heated kiss. With no plans of stopping, he feels your hand rub against his restraint length, pushing his desire you further against the edge of no retreat.

He wants to ask the reason for your lustful behaviour; however, you’ve taking this kiss further and slipping a tongue inside him. With that, he feels you push him against the bed, bringing your weight on top of him to straddle his hips.

It’s only then when you pull away to breath that he gets the moment to take your appearance in. Plump and swollen lips, you look down at him with eyes filled with so much lust he has never seen before. It looks different on you. Different than back when you were that 19-year-old girl.

“I’m Peach. I wanna be your Peach, again, Bucky.” Greeting him with a roll of your hips, you elicit a groan from the man underneath, with no doubt enjoying the pleasure that your clothed cunt gifted him. Due to the frail fabric of the shorts you’re wearing and the large bulge in Bucky’s sweats, you can feel him press against you. Snuggle in between your clothed folds, he teases your clit.

“Please?”

You ask him once again, pausing the movement of your hips in order for his consent. As your doe eyes peer down at him, he can’t help but melt at the expression. How is he suppose to deny you of your pleasure when you look like that? Even better, he knows how you’ll look underneath or on top when you reach your climax. But instead of fantasizing about it, he would rather experience the look of your eyes closing shut while your mouth parts in a small whine of pleasure.

“Rub yourself on me, Peach.” A smile blossoms on your face as the words ring in your ear. The familiarity of the nickname brings you back to the countless times he has snuck in your room, shamelessly railing you into your bed with a hand over your mouth in order to keep the affair a secret to your parents. Who not only slept in the room next to you, but would greet Bucky the next morning when he would come over for breakfast.

You remembered those secret moments in your affair, which blossomed into a budding relationship that had gifted the two of you a new home. One that for sure the two of you are going to christen in your own way.

As your pussy rubs against his sweats, your hands claw at his chest, the fabric of his shirt bunched you in your grip while you peer down at him with your mouth slightly parted in pleasure. With the silence sitting in the room, he heard the careless whimpers that’s drip from your honey flavour lips; making him with no doubt even harder under your body.

You can tell. His dick pressed even further up against your swollen clit, edging you and your orgasm even further. Circling your hips against him in a way it’s rough and unfiltered, you give no care for the way the slim straps of your cami falls from your shoulder. And though it all seems nothing but an innocent act, Bucky gauges his eyes at how ethereal you look.

He views the way your pebbles nipples protrude from the frigid and sheer fabric of your shirt, challenging him to grope the supple breast. But he doesn’t, instead, he takes in the way your meals become into soft but loud moans.

“Daddy, I’m gonna cum.” You voice your warning, only to show him then when you grab the hand on your hip to guide it towards your parted lips. At least two fingers placed inside, Bucky feels your warm and wet tongue swirl around his index and middle finger, fawning over the fact that there’s drool dripping your chin with no care from your perspective.

A small gutted curse whispers through the room as he stares at you wide eyed. He’s never seen you so submissive. Only once, a little earlier into your affair a few years ago, had he seen this. He had been too rough, pushing you, with your consent, out of your comfort zone and over the edge that when he and you had came, you were simply stuck in wanting to continue to pleasure him.

And while he enjoyed seeing you all submissive, a question is left for him to ponder what had caused you to turn.

He turns his attention back to you, as to reel in your image when he hears the loud whine when you cum in your shorts. Along with your body collapsing on top of his, he replicates the way your face is buried into the crook of his as his is down with yours. In which muffles his moans as he, too, cums clothed.

For a moment, the two of you freeze. Reeling in each other’s warmth and comfort for your euphoria to calm down. And when it does, you find yourself nuzzling your face into Bucky’s neck. All the while a soft hum leaves you as you feel completely enticed with the way Bucky rubs your back. “So good.” You tell him, muffled.

“You alright there, angel?” Your simple moan worries him. “Can you look at me for a second, my sweet girl?” You abide to his request, pushing yourself quite weekly onto his chest to face him. “There’s my girl.” You practically purr when Bucky’s hand caresses your warm cheek. But he definitely doesn’t miss the way you look at you with those eyes. “Does your tummy hurt still?”

You shake your head softly. “No, daddy.”

There it is. The soft pitch in your voice as you speak to him, completely lost and gone into your own little world. To which and to some, it’s called subspace. He’s never seen it happen with you before. He knew about it. Seen it nearly happen on multiple occasions, but he never pushed that far. But he wasn’t pushing today, maybe it was you, he wondered.

“That’s good, baby. But can you come back to me? I wanna talk to my sweet Y/n.” He doesn’t hear anything, making him worry even more. He’s never experienced this with you, making him clueless on how to deal with the aftermath. All he knew was he needed to be gentled with you. Treat you gently. “Y/n?”

“Yes, daddy?”

He shakes his head, resulting in a frown from you. “Not daddy, baby. It’s Bucky. Come back to you, my love.”

When you don’t respond once again, he turns you over to your back. Hover over you as his hands cup your face. The look is still present on your face. Both of euphoria and exhaustion and it scares Bucky. “What colour are you, baby?”

Your eyes peer up to his face in question. “Yellow, daddy.” He knows what yellow is. He’s made the colour system for the two of you when things in bed gets too rough. Green was for go. Yellow was for slow down. And red was for stop. He’s glad you remember it even in your state of mind.

“Do you want to take a hot bath?”

“With the bubbles?”

“Sure thing, princess.”

—

Sitting on the covered toilet seat, you watch your lover fill the large tub with water, occasionally having his hand dip in the liquid to check for the temperature. When he deems it acceptable and warm enough for your liking, he adds the bubble bath mixture. As the water runs, he turns to you, catching you daze off into the window when catches your gaze.

“Up.”

You follow his instructions, standing meekly in front of him with your hands behind you back waiting for his next set of steps.

“Hands up.”

He grabs the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head to leave you shirtless in front of him. Either if it’s because of your state of mind or the fact that you’ve been naked with him countless of times, nonetheless, you feel comfortable with him despite your shirtless body.

“You alright?” You nod, softly smiling at him as he pulls your shorts down and off your legs. Once it’s off, he helps you dip your feet into the pool of water, testing the warmth of the liquid for it comfort ability. And once you deem it’s alright, you dip your whole leg into the tub.

Once you’re fully submerged with the bubbles around you, your head snaps up to see Bucky smiling down at your appearance. “Can you come in? Please, daddy?” He watches as you pout your lips at him, wanting to grab his full attention and affection and keep him all to yourself. He doesn’t mind, he’s all yours to keep and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Which is why he obliges to your request and strips down to nothing but skin and slips in the large white tub behind you. He feels the soft bubbles touch his skin, wetting him in the process. But he feels your wet back press against his chest, slippery and warm skin coming into contact with him.

Clearly content with your lover, your head lays on his chest, your hands making grabbing claws at the large bubbles in front of you. All the while, Bucky has his chin on the top of your head, watching you.

“Come back to me, Y/n. C’mon, sweet angel.” He attempts to bring you back again, dipping his head to press chaste kisses along the nape of your neck. You simply giggle at his actions, jerking you body away because you claim that it tickles. But he’s not having it, he forces you to turn your head around with a grip on your chin. His red lips pressed against yours, taking you back in surprise.

Though, it doesn’t take long for you to realize what your lover wants when you feel a hand snake around your waist under the warm water. Slowing but surely slipping down your tummy to your parted legs. While the both of you are occupied with each other’s mouths, his hand slips further down and cups your heat, earning a gasp from you in which he swallows back.

“Daddy, what’re you doing?” You mumble against his wet lips. He pulls back for a second, just enough so his lips still hover over yours.

“Just relax, baby. Lemme make you feel good.”

“O-okay.”

And you let him. You let his finger find themselves rooted to your clit, thick digits spreading your apart to rub you of your pleasure as his other hand found a comfortable home on your breast. Your pebbled nipple rolled between his index and thumb, adding to the sensation he was bringing to your cunt.

As soft moans are released, Bucky furthers his actions and slips a finger in you. Resulting in you with a parted mouth while your face scrunches up at the feeling. “Come back to me, Y/n. Please, angel.”

You hear his soft words of affection echo and root themselves into your head, earning him a smile from you. “‘S alright, you can cum, angel.”

With his permission, your climax comes rushing down on you and your body convulses in pleasure. The sound of your mewling and splashing of the water mix together and echo in the bathroom. Your eyes closed shut and brows pinched in pleasure.

But when his fingers leave, the same feeling of emptiness returns, and you lay your head on his chest to cool off. Your eyes still closed in ecstasy from your climax. “Y/n?”

“Bucky...” You mock him but he seems to have no problem with it as a sigh leaves his lips.

“Oh, thank god.” He presses a kiss to the side of your head. “Got me worried there for a second. Never seen you like that before.”

As your eyes flutter open, you take in the aftermath of not only your orgasm but also of being in subspace. You’ve never been like that. It felt different. You were there. Remembered every bit of it, but you just felt like you weren’t in your own body and you were floating.

“Are you okay now?”

You simply nod, turning your head down to catch your fingers in your lap. You try your best to be inconspicuous about the whole situation. And since it was the first time you’ve experienced that, a rush of embarrassment floods through you.

“Are you sure? Look at me.” He turns your head by the chin and gives you a soft look. “What’s wrong? Did it hurt? Or did I hurt you?”

His words make your head shake in an instant. “No, no. It’s not you. It... It’s just embarrassing. I’ve never done that before, and you had to see me like that.”

“Hey, hey. Whatever happens between in the bedroom is always my concern. I’ll always worry regardless if I hurt you or not. We have new experiences every night in there, that’s okay of this is your first. There’s always a first for everything and this was yours. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

His hands are on your shoulder, pouring the water he had cupped in his hand onto your skin to remove the lingering bubbles so he can press a kiss. You turn to him, gifting him with a small smile on your face before leaning up to peck his lips.

“You know, I had a dream about you before you woke me up.”

“Yeah? What about?”

“When we went swimming in my dad’s pool at the vacation house. You caught me practically naked and joined me. That was the first night you had spent the night with me.”

There’s a chuckle that erupts from Bucky as he recalls that fated night. “Do you still have that diary I asked to see? You told me not to check that night. I still wonder what was in there you didn’t want to see.”

A smile creeps up on your face. “I wrote things about in there.”

“No way. You did?”

“Yeah. About us. The first time we did it and the last. Also, about that night in the pool. I wrote my feelings for you and realized that I really liked you, too much for us to be just a hookup.”

You separate yourself from Bucky, turning in your position as to lean on the other side of the tub across from him. The bubbles surrounding you like a forest makes you nearly disappear. You catch him playfully pouting at you when you moved. But you prop your feet on his lap, smiling when he starts massaging them.

“Seems like yesterday, doesn’t it? I can’t believe it’s been that long. Now look at where we are. Who would’ve thought?”

His words have you crawling back on to his lap, with the water splashing with every bit of motion you make. Luckily, the bath was big and there was just enough space for you and your lover. “Who would’ve thought that I’d be living in a million-dollar apartment with the love of my life and sitting in a bathtub with this amazing view.” You pause, letting your eyes take every feature of his face that you’ve grown to love every day. “I love you. And thank you for being so kind and sweet to me.”

“Of course, angel. That’s what I’m here for.”

—

As the hour passed by and the water turned cold while your fingers pruned up, the two of you spend the seconds in each other’s arm, simply telling each other the craziest and funniest stories you had experienced. But when it was time to get out, Bucky simply took care of you first before he took care of himself.

He presses a kiss to your forehead before leaving you alone in the walk-in closet, a towel wrapped around your body as you ponder on what to wear for the dinner tonight.

All the while, Bucky stood by the bedside table, shirtless but with his own towel snakes around his waist to cover his modesty. His head peering down at his phone, the bright light welcoming him back. Though, his message doesn’t seem too kind as his brows are pinched in an ill will when his fingers type up the words.

> **YOU** : **Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’ve got a dinner with Y/n’s co-worker. But I’m free tomorrow and I hope we can talk in a civil manner. If not for me, then for Y/n.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which you and bucky decide to throw a small house party and invite a person who’s been distant and bitter in your life.

You’ve been staring at yourself for quite longer than you intended too. 20 minutes over but you’re still unsure if the dress you’re wearing is right for the occasion or maybe you've gained weight. Bucky’s reminder that it’s only a housewarming party tells you that the floral dress that hangs off your body to your knees is fine and perfect.

You come to the conclusion that it is and fix the rest of the wrinkles that has been too stubborn to be ironed out. Once they’re gone, you turn on your heel and head for the living room to find your lover leaning over the pot to get a sniff of the food.

You giggle at the sight, his ears peeking up at the melodic sound and he snaps up to catch your figure standing over the kitchen island. “Hi, baby.” He greets you with that and with a kiss over the island. “You look good.”

His comment sends a rush of heat to your cheeks. “Thank you, Pookie. You do too.” He really does. The cashmere sweater looks pretty expensive, but it does suit him very well. Especially with the pants and beard he’s sporting. You knew that your boyfriend was attractive but right now? He was tempting you resolve.

However, as much as you want to pounce on him, the time is not now as the dinner is soon to begin and your guests are nearing your new home.

“So, how does it taste?” You bite your bottom lip in anticipation of his criticism.

“It tastes good. You did well.”

“Thank you.” You smile up at him, seeming to be proud under his words. “We should set the plates before the first few guests arrive.” He nods, turning back around to reach for the cupboards.

A small meow catches your attention, a small blue of white fur enters the living room with small but powerful strides as Alpine becomes the star of the show. You bend down, meeting him in the floor. “Hi, baby!” He rubs himself against your knee, loud but soft purrs emitting from the cat as you scratch the spot behind his ear. “I’ve got to put you in your room, baby. I’m sorry. But grandma and grandpa and your aunties are coming. We can’t have you out, ‘kay?” He meows again. “I know, I know. I promise extra treats tonight.”

The feline deems this reward as enough and lets you carry him into the extra room that both you and Bucky agreed to make Alpines. You were still yet to decide on what that room’s use would be permanently, but that time is still yet to come, till then, your creature owns it.

Returning back to the open space, you catch Bucky finalizing any bit of detail on the table. A smile breaks itself on your face before it disappears when the sound of an elevator ding rings through the room. You smooth down your dress, rushing towards the entrance to greet your guests.

There’s a small wave of anxiety that rushes through you. And while you would love to see your parents again, the memories of last time’s dinner are brought back and so did the stress. Thankfully, they’re not here yet and your best friends were the first to arrive.

Seeing that it was only family coming, you opted to invite Kate and America to come see your new home. Luckily there was enough space at the dining table as Rebecca sent her wishes on how she wished she could come but was busy with school. Perhaps next time she would have to come by.

Greeting them with a hug, they greet you back with compliments of your new home. Joking that you had catches a good one with Bucky. Who joins your side and welcomes your friends, telling them to make themselves feel at home.

“Well, if you insist!” The brunette exclaims, skipping her way over to the couch before bouncing down, sighing when she smooths her hands over the soft cushions.

Bucky chuckles beside you, shaking his head before kissing your temple so he can return to the kitchen and prepare the food; leaving you to reminisce over what you’ve missed with your best friend.

“Jesus, Y/n, if I knew he would be this rich, I would’ve taken him myself.” You roll your eyes at her comment. She shakes with a chuckle, wholeheartedly. Then she circled her arm through yours, leaning her head against your shoulder. “Is your dad coming?”

You breathe out a sigh, sounding scared and somewhat anxious. “Yeah. I made my mom bring him and he agreed. Hopefully he’s not just coming to throw another punch.”

“I hope not. If I wanted to watch some drama, I would’ve watched Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Plus, I really want to enjoy your food again.”

You shake, laughter roaming through the air as the two of you make your way to where America has taken ownership on the couch.

—

The room is not quite nor too loud. But it doesn’t matter as your focus remains on the plate of pasta in front of you in order to drown out the conversations your mom and Kate are having about you. You’re only brought back to reality when a tattooed hand comes into your vision, squeezing lighting on your thigh to reassure you of your worries.

You’re not quite at all worried. Just disappointed. He didn’t come and while you knew not to expect him to, some part of you wished that he was able to separate his anger to be a father. Turns out he couldn’t.

Finding a reason to excuse yourself from the table, you stare at the bottomless drain of the bathroom sink in your bedroom. And while happiness was there once, doubt seeps in and your can’t help but think of if everything was worth destroying your relationship with your father. Even if it wasn’t perfect, you loved him very much. Every flaw.

You try to shake that deafening thought in your head, tell yourself that Bucky is every bit of yourself and he’s the greatest thing that’s happened to you. You love him, with no doubt, with no conditions. He’s him and he’s a part of you. No angry father shouldn’t come in the way of their daughter’s happiness. That’s the truth. Nothing but that.

“Angel? You alright in there?” Bucky reminding voice pulls your thoughts out of your head, a thankful reminder back to reality. Quickly, you dry your hands by the towel.

The door swings open, his face comes into view and so does a look of concern and dubiousness. You crack up a smile, you’ve grown to be a master at that. “Yes, I’m fine. The smell of the food just didn’t sit well with me.” It’s half a lie, that way you don’t feel way too bad lying to Bucky. But truly, he’s spent way too much time with you to know when you’re lying. He doesn’t seem to push it, though. Thankfully.

“Uh, you’re dad arrived. He’s joined in the table.” You wished it were all a joke that came out of Bucky, that he would simply tell you that he was kidding and returned back to the table with your mom and friends.

But he wasn’t when you returned to the kitchen and came to gaze at the same man you haven’t spoken to in months you didn’t dare to count. As much as your disappointment turns into surprise, you’re frozen in your spot; unable to think of what to do next.

“How about I get you a glass of water? Y/f/n, you can come sit with us.” Bucky sits you down, leaving to go, as he said, fetch you water. While your dad takes the offer and settles himself beside your mother who greets him with a kiss and a obvious glare.

The room has gone quite. Which is unusual for someone like Kate who has a big mouth that she liked to ramble with. But she’s silent. Still offering the new guest a polite smile when she hands him the bowl of rice.

It’s like that for a moment before your dad speaks up, asking Kate and America how they’ve been after graduating. They answer, claiming it’s been great and they’ve got amazing jobs to support themselves. They share a laugh or two at a joke your dad makes, even your mom.

Bucky returns, handing a cold glass which you gladly take a large sip out of before setting it down on the table. You turn to your boyfriend. “I thought he wasn’t coming.”

“Neither did I. Turns out he’s just very late.” You have to stop yourself from rolling your eyes at the statement. Of course, he’s going to be late, he loves to make everything about himself, doesn’t he?

You let it go, barely speaking a word to him but only a look of grimace on your face when he gazes his eyes upon you. You want to yell. Throw food at his face. You don’t know why you’re angry but you are.

As dinner passes and the food are swallowed and digested, conversations are passed and talked through to continue the night. Bucky attempts to converse in some of the topics, most of it involved with your mom as your father seems to ignore Bucky’s attempt to be civil.

You don’t say anything, simply listen in. Your father speaks up once again, this time, you’re actually paying attention to what he has to say. “Me and Buck over here well discussing over a cup of coffee one morning that New York is getting way too expensive—”

The statement alone is enough to make your ears perk up. Your hand frozen mid action when you lifted your fork up to your mouth. “What?” Your voice booms through the room, silencing your father midway through his sentence. “You went out with Bucky?” You turn to your lover before speaking up again. “And you didn’t tell me?”

“We we’re trying to talk things out. I didn’t want…”

“Oh please, James. Didn’t you think to maybe at least tell me about? Huh? I’m the one you’re dating, not him. Jesus.”

The room fills your anger, both Kate and America keeping their eyes stuck to their plates as they feel like they’ve violated such a private evening. Your mother looks at her husband with a gaped mouth, surprised with her own husband’s lies for that day when she had asked him where was he off to.

You feel the urge to vomit. While it’s either from the stench of the food or the fact that you’re so angry, you don’t care. All you do care is getting to the bathroom.

As your head ends up buried in the bowl of a toilet, puking what you essential had for dinner, a knock booms through the bathroom, mixing sounds with your gagging. For a moment, you find it in yourself to lift your head to tell Bucky off.

“Y/n, let me in.” But it’s not him. Not Bucky at all. Instead, it’s the voice of your father calling for you.

You don’t want to fight, there isn’t any left in you and you’re genuinely attempting to act mature. You’re an adult now. Not some 19-year-old girl anymore who thought she knew what she wanted. An adult. One who’s surely able to talk to her father in a mature manner without any the tantrums you had as a kid.

So you swing the door open, not missing the way your mother and Bucky stand mere feet away from the door as if they were in line to talk to you.

You surely don’t miss the way Kate and America has distanced themselves from the obvious family drama they had unfortunately been involved in.

Your father doesn’t hesitate to step in, clicking the ford behind him shut. Stepping towards you, he forces you to take a step back in return, earning a reasonable space between the two of you.

“I’m so tired of you, you know. First you tell me that my relationship is disgusting, then you call me, your own daughter a slut, but that’s not even the best part. You cut me off from any communication with you. Yet you still come here. Why? I just want to know why all of a sudden you’re meddling with Bucky.”

He simple stares at you, barely flinching at the hurtful words you had spat at him. But he’s listening. At least you think he is. His focus seems to be all on you and you take it, give him a chance.

“Look, as a father, I’m suppose to look out for you. Even from my own best friend. Hell to anyone. But you’re right.” The word takes you by surprise as it’s rare for your own father to admit fault and wrong.

“I shouldn’t have ruined what makes you happy. You’re an adult who’s able to make choices on her own. And while you are grown up, it doesn’t mean you won’t stop being my daughter. Anger got the best of me, I’ll admit that. But I’m telling you this now, Y/n,” He cups your face in his hands, much closer than before. “You are not and will never be those horrible things I’ve called you. You are a wonderful and intelligent woman.”

Your eyes fill with tears as the words spill from your father’s mouth. There’s more you know he wants to say, perhaps he really did come to the dinner not because he wanted to outshine you and Bucky’s night but because he was genuinely late.

“B- But why were you with Bucky? He even told me that you didn’t talk to him anymore. It just doesn’t make sense, Papa.”

“I know, darling. And I’m sorry for all the anger and confusion I’ve caused you. I promise you that Bucky and I did nothing but talk. We wanted to fix things between us like the proper adults we are. I mean, we aren’t getting any older but you know.”

Your father wiggles his brows at you, attempting to make an effort to turn the tension in the air into something more heartening. It works as a laugh, along with a tear, escapes.

“I shouldn’t have judge without looking further. It’s the parent in me and I can’t help but look out for you. But .. I know he makes you happy.”

“He does make me happy, Papa. A lot.” You smile.

So does he.

“I know … You make him happy too, you know. Out of all my years knowing Bucky, not even with Natasha has he been so in love.” He kisses your forehead, soft and kind, like the many times he had kissed your scraped knee when you fell down trying to learn how to ride your bike as a child. “I’m so sorry, Y/n. I’ll be better for you.”

He engulfs you in a hug, one that you reciprocate back and wrap your arms around him. Your bury your face in to his chest, feeling at home and at ease just as the many times he’s comforted you through life’s obstacles when you were a child. And while you were fully grown, you always knew that you were forever going to be your father’s baby girl.

“I love you, Papa. I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m **_sorry_**. I should’ve been better.”

He smiles at you when he pulls away, wiping your tear stained tears away with his thumb.

“I guess it’s time for Bucky to come in, isn’t it?”

Chuckling at this, you nod. You try to fix yourself in the mirror when your father leaves, making his way to your mother to explain what had happen. By then, Bucky’s head peaks in the bathroom, waiting for your consent to enter the room.

“Are you alright?”

You turn to him, a subtle smile on your face as you thank him for his concern. And while you’d love to talk to him, doing it feet away won’t work and so you pull him inside. The door clicking shut.

“Y/n, look, I’m so sorry for lying to you. I swear, I was going to tell you after. I just wanted to make things right with your dad first before I gave you some false hope with your dad.”

The urge to hold his hand takes over you, his tattooed fingers intertwined with yours and your heart warms at the feeling of soft skin.

“I know, Pookie. I’m sorry for yelling. I shouldn’t have done that. But it’s okay - we’re okay. You were just trying to make things right with him and I appreciate that a lot. Just … tell me things next time, okay?” He nods. “And plus, you did a very good job talking to him. He’s apologized for all the things he’s caused.”

Attempting to kiss him, you lean in forward before he can. Both of your lips colliding together in sync and with softness that you would get lost in if it were for Bucky pulling back to breathe.

“I love you so much, Pookie.”

“I know, Angel. I love you too.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which y/n’s medical mystery is revealed and bucky is there to support her through the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning: this chapter has serious topics of abortion, so if you don't like the talk of that, then skip this chapter.

You should’ve seen it coming. The signs were there. Alpine was there, on a constant watch and on a constant trail. You knew, somewhere in you, that there was a possibility. Perhaps it’s the maternal instinct in you, the cat mom making its way out. Either way, the news are reality and you say frozen in the chair as the doctor explained your options.

Her voice is barely audible in your ear, luckily enough, Bucky is there, hands intertwined with yours as he, not only looks at you with concern but listens in to the given suggestions knowing that you’re probably way too out of your head to listen.

“I can suggest a good OB-GYN, she’s well known here in the city and one of the best.” She reaches her hand outwards, a small white business card in between her fingers. Bucky grabs it, thanking her soon after. “Well, just give her or me a call on what you’ve decided, okay?”

Bucky nods before turning to you as to bring the two of you back home. The doctor sends a pitiful smile, one that says she understands too much and sees too often.

The walk back to the car is silent and soon it becomes a ringing noise that echoes in your ear when the car door slams shut.

You’re pregnant.

As in, **_you’re pregnant_** with child.

For a moment, the brunette sits still; the bridge of his nose pinched between his fingers with his eyes closed. Even himself unable to truly process what has happened.

As the seconds pass, your resolve breaks and the tears fall down your cheek like a damn. Your face buried in the palm of you hands as a shaky cry escapes your trembling lips.

Bucky frowns at this, sighing as he reaches over to you to pull your body into a small side hug. Your face pressed against his shirt as you sob relentlessly; whole body shaking with each cry. You barely hear a word Bucky says, just merely the vibrations that echo through your body.

“It’s okay, angel. We’ll be fine. We’ll do whatever you want to do.”

You feel his hand smooth down your back, eventually snaking up to your hair to untangle any knots. Doing this, you feel yourself starting to calm, the sobbing slowly surely fading into soft and even breathing.

Pulling back, you knuckle at your eyes before peering up to look at Bucky. His warm hands cupping your cheeks so he can properly look at you. There’s a slight frown to his lips, a sadness in his eyes, both replicating and pitying your frustration.

“We made a mistake. We just happen to have a lot of sex and that’s fine. You have options. And there’s no rush, this is a big decision, but whatever that is you want to do, I will be there to support you through the way. Alright?”

He fondly smiles at you, attempt to lighten the situation. You answer him with a simple nod, accompanied with an unwanted sniffle.

He truly can’t blame no one but himself. They’ve been careful, at least you had been. Reminded you to take your pills nearly everyday, even the sugar ones during that one week every month. But he wasn’t. He was unprotected.

He knew the risks coming inside, fucking you raw. He knew but he still took it, ironically naive to the idea of a possible pregnancy just because he knew one of them was protected.

He feels careless. Reckless. Thinking of how he could put you in this situation. He’s definitely going to be more careful next time. Stay protected even if it’s meant pleasure was at stake. He cared more about your well being than pleasure at best. You were home and he wasn’t going to wreck you.

“Now c’mon, put on your seatbelt. I’m bringing us to Joe’s.” Then he kisses your forehead.

—

The pizzeria is quiet and void of people and given that it’s on past lunch, it’s not much of surprise.

But as you watch from a far Bucky talking to the young girl who serves him a pizza, suddenly everything is obvious to you and you catch how miss blondie blushes when your lover gives her an extra tip. You roll your eyes at this before returning your focus on the condiments that sit in the middle of the table.

You think over your options … or at least the one that you heard Dr. White say while you zoned out.

You could do the adoption, but that would crush Bucky know that you were going to give his **_child_** away to some strangers who may not be compatible enough in his eyes. No, you couldn’t and would never do that to him.

You _could_ raise the child. Bucky has always raved about raising a family and having kids of his own. Especially more so after when Natasha left him, he expressed his feelings that he felt lonely and that he felt like he would never experience the joy of a kid.

You knew that this child would bring such joy to your love. The only con was … you wouldn’t want it. Maybe if this were further into the future, where you were able to experience milestones in your career and become successful then yes, you would love to raise this child with none other.

You would love to sing it to sleep. Read this beautiful child a bedtime story with Bucky.

But you couldn’t. Not now.

Meaning there was only one option left.

“ _God_ , I swear to god these things were cheaper back then. Now I gotta pay 20$ for a medium?” He squeezes back in front of you, placing the steaming box of food on the table. “Hey, you okay?”

You smile at him, nodding softly to reassure him that you were truly alright. But were you? You honestly didn’t know but those thoughts are surely pushed away far back into the corner of your mind, deciding that you want nothing but your attention fixated on your boyfriend; who you may add is doing nothing but his best to support you in whatever your decision may be.

“Do you want to eat here or take it home?”

You reply with a simple shake of your head, hands already digging in the cardboard box ready to munch. As you busy yourself with a mouthful, your eyes catch a pair of baby blues staring right back at you. A smile on his pretty stubbled face as he chews on his food.

“What did you talk with my dad?”

The question certainly takes him by surprise while you seem totally unphased by the sudden change of topic. You wait, sipping on your drink.

“Well, we spoke about you. He told me of how he’s always going to be protective of you, which I understand. But he said he doesn’t want that to get in the way of your happiness and agreed to back off.”

“Did you talk to him about the police thing?”

He nods, continuing his story.

“Yeah. He apologized and everything, even though he said his apology isn’t enough, he offered to do me a favour. I said no. As much as I wanted to be angry and be petty at him for pulling that stunt, there’s nothing we can really do but forgive and reconcile.” He pauses, as if he’s trying to recollect his thoughts.

“My Ma has always told me that forgiving is always going to be the hardest part in your life. People will come and go. And people will hurt you. But there’s no point of not forgiving because you’ll just end up hurting yourself. And I agree, your father did hurt me when he ended our friendship. But I couldn’t force to hold on to the relationship and hurt myself. And while an era may has ended and I lost him, I found myself with you.”

Bucky smiles, wholeheartedly and it almost guilts you of your decision.

But you knew. This was your decision. Only yours and he will be there to support you every bit of the way. It’s your body and only yours. Bucky would never disrespect that in any way.

“And now I’m pregnant.”

A small giggle falls from your lips as you raise your hands in the air. Your way of attempting to lighten the mood after such an important and serious conversation at the doctors. You can tell Bucky is trying to find the good in this as well with the way his lips curve into a knowing smirk.

“I honestly don’t know how I didn’t see this coming. The signs were there. Alpine was constantly trying to cuddle with me, and he was so touchy whenever I got home. Not to mention my period. I never got it and I _thought_ that was normal. Plus, the sex.” Your cheeks warm up at the flashback of weeks ago. Even some days ago. Those nights where his touch was insatiable, and your cries and moans were louder than before.

The same nights where he finger fucked you against the window, the bright lights of New York City beaming against your naked body. Or that night where you devoured his cock in your mouth other than the dessert on your table.

“Oh, god. The sex.” You cover your face with your hands, muffling the groan that comes from you.

But Bucky finds it funny. A chuckle rumbling from the depths of his stomach when he takes another bite of his pizza.

A smile blossoms on your face behind your hands. Only revealing it when your hands return to the surface of the table.

“I hope you know I meant what I said, Y/n.” Your smile fades away, ears perking up at the seriousness of Bucky’s tone. “This decision is yours and only yours. We’ve had a talk about kids before and how I wanted them but don’t let it change what you want to do. Nor don’t let it bring you guilt. I’ll tell you again, I didn’t be with you for kids. I love you so much and I just want what’s best for you.”

You fix your posture, not seeming to want to look improper in front of your lover. You nod slightly, understanding what he’s telling because you do. You know how Bucky loves you a lot. You have no doubts that he wouldn’t lay a finger on you and he wouldn’t hurt you intentionally. He loved you, no conditions needed.

“Of course, I know that. This whole thing is just a little difficult to comprehend. Like, I love kids. I even work with them but right now… I’m just not ready to have my own but I just can’t stop thinking about you. And yeah, I know this is my decision and only mine. I know you’re not going to get in the way of that but .. you run through my mind. This happened because of us. You and me. So, of course I’m going to think of you.”

Bucky smiles fully understand what you mean. And while he would love his own kids someday, he knows you’re not ready and is going to fully respect that without any complaints.

“Whatever your decision is. We’ll get through it.”

—

Sitting by the waiting room, your hand tangled with Bucky’s, clasping in anticipation for the nurse to call your name for the procedure.

If you were 10 weeks and earlier, you would’ve been simply given pills for the pregnancy. But you weren’t. That was clear when the doctor explained to you during an appointment where she had checked your belly through the ultrasound. Claiming that you were nearly 12 weeks along. Big as a plum. She had presented your options then, with you telling her what you wanted and with her suggesting to book an appointment with the clinic as soon as possible

The two of you thanked her as you left, spending the rest of the day trying to get your mind off this whole situation with Bucky by your side at Central Park. Melting ice cream in both of your hands as the two of you shared stories about one another.

But that was nearly three days ago.

Now you’re here and the nurse had called your name. The Vogue magazine in your free hand is set back on the table, with you forgetting about the in season pants you had seen from Prada.

The dark skin woman waits for you by the hallway, not missing the way you turned to your lover with a smile and a kiss on his lips. He whispers to you; one she can’t hear but you certainly can.

“I love you so much. Stay safe, okay? I’ll be right here waiting for you, my sweet angel. I love you.”

You giggle, your heart fluttering after.

“I love you too. I’ll see you later.”

—

The surgery hadn’t been long. That, you knew despite being sedated for the whole five minutes it took.

You had simply woken up, a bright white light shining on your face causing your eyes to turn into small slits. But moments after, shadow looms over you.

“Sorry ‘bout that.” A woman apologizes. The sound of curtain rings scratching rings through your ears. “You alright, hun? How are you feeling?”

You knuckle at your eyes, getting to open wide to get a good look at who you’re talking to. When you finally find yourself wide awake, you come face to face with the same nurse you had met. You smiled at her, the drugs clearly still affecting you.

“I’m alright. Thank you.” You pause, smacking your dry lips together. “Can I see my boyfriend?”

She frowns, shaking her head after. “Sorry, hun. I can’t bring non-patients into the medical area. You’ll be able to see him after we do your check up and discharge you.”

Sinking back into the bed, you pout at the denial of your request, but you don’t push any further. Soon after, she checks up on you, asking you protocol questions and talking about what to expect for the next few days.

Soon enough, the drugs wore off and the nurse deems you well enough to be discharged. She returns your clothes, closing the curtains to give a moment of privacy to change. Once you’re done, she helps you up and about outside into the waiting area where Bucky sits waiting for you.

You tell the nurse a simple thank you for her help, telling her that you’ll be fine on your own. She nods, smiling before leaving you to go back into the medical area.

Bucky catches your return, standing promptly and tucking his phone into his pocket before he rushes over to you. Hands within seconds cupping your face.

“Hi, baby. How was it?”

You give him a looped smile.

“It was good. T’was like a nap.”

He nods, leaning forward to kiss your forehead after.

“That’s good, angel. I’m glad you’re okay.”

He gives you a second to talk to the nurse by the desk, confirming your appointment was finished and you were ready to sign whatever documents were left so you were ready to go home. She simply fills you in about any concerns you had and gave you some sanitary pads for the expected bleeding to come. You thank her, handing back the pen before you give her a smile and return to Bucky.

He has a bunch of flowers in his hand, specifically a mixture of sunflowers and roses; both your favourite flowers in one. You smile at him, taking the hand he offers as the two of you return back to his car.

—

While the car ride back home is silent, it’s not uncomfortable nor awkward. Bucky doesn’t push any questions yet, but you know he has them, he’s just waiting till the time is right and you’re comfortable to ask. And you’re grateful. You’re happy with your decision, even relieved at most.

When the two of you arrive home, he sets the flowers into a vase near the window. Smiling when he catches plop yourself down on the couch with Alpine.

He hears the two of you converse in what seems to be a very heated talk while he waters the flowers. With Alpine meowing loudly each time you reply to him. He finds it funny and quite entertaining that he wants to join. So, he sits himself at the end of the couch, propping your legs onto his lap.

“You okay now?”

Your eyes rake over Alpine’s tiny animal body and look into Bucky’s piercing blues. You nod.

“Do you regret it?”

You pause, hands fall from Alpine’s fur and down to your stomach. Your eyes peering over back to him with a look that digs up fear in him.

“No. Not at all.”

He smiles. A little awkward but so is the topic. But it must be talked about at one point. And while what you say was true, relief was there too. You knew you couldn’t raise a kid right now. You just couldn’t. Even with Bucky’s support, happiness wouldn’t be there.

You return the smile back. Even though you don’t feel physically well right now, the squeeze on your leg makes your heart swell; bigger than it has before.

So, when Alpine jumps off your stomach, you curl up on Bucky’s lap. Head on his chest with his arms securely wrapped around your figure.

You feel at ease. Even more than when you had woken up minutes after your procedure. You feel at home. Secure and supported. Knowing that he won’t let you go unless you told him to.

“Thank you for being with me today.” It’s a careful whisper, just for him to hear.

He smiles, not to himself, but for you. His hand moving to stroke your hair lovingly.

“Of course. I will be there for anything to support you. **_If it’s a part of you, then it’s a part of us._** I love you so much, my angel. And I want nothing but what’s best for you.”

And suddenly, everything is just at peace. Nothing but pure serenity in the arms of the man who has done nothing but support and love you. It’s home. He’s home and it’s where you want to be all the time


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which he’s surprises y/n with a vacation she never knew she needed.

Stepping into the hallway, you barely bat an eye at the portrait of the lady that hung in front of the elevator. Seeing that you’ve living in your new apartment for months, the portrait has grown to you and so did the way Alpine made his way to you with a loud meow; just as if he were yelling for his mommy’s return.

You gave him a smile and opened your arms for him to jump in, he doesn’t hesitate and let’s out a small purr of satisfaction. “Hi, baby.” Then he wiggles out of your embrace. “Where’s daddy?” He guides you to the living room, yet still no sign of your lover. Clearly, Alpine doesn’t give two shits about him as he settles down on his scratching tower and grooms his paw.

You roll your eyes at him, sticking your tongue out before heading over to the master bedroom to check for Bucky.

He’s not there.

You assume he’s in the study, possibly doing some work and you’d check on his later as to not bother him. So instead, you find yourself in the walk in closet, removing the button up shirt and skirt you had worn today for work; leaving you in merely your bra and underwear.

And just on cue, you hear the bathroom door click shut. Your head turning over down the corridor, you catch Bucky stepping in to the bedroom in nothing but a towel around his waist. Clearly just finished with his shower, water cascades down his toned chest and drips from his wet tendrils of hair.

You wait for him to notice your presence, busying yourself by pulling one of his shirts over your body with no pants on.

It’s when he walks into the closet, that he notices you, a smile blooms on his face as he strides over to your side of the room.

“Hi, angel.”

He leans over, pressing a quick kiss to your lips.

“Are you going somewhere?” You watch as turns, his back towards you and your eyes focus at the way his back muscle flex when he reaches for a shirt on the top shelf in the closet.

“Yeah, I’m meeting with Becca to catch up and stuff. We’re going to try out that new bakery that opened by Central Park.”

You nod, though remembering that he couldn’t see it. You took steps towards him, snaking your arms around his waist while pressing a kiss to his bare shoulder.

“You’ll be fine here, right? If not, I can always reschedule with Becca and I’ll stay.”

You roll your eyes despite him being able to see. But he knows damn well with the way you scoff at his words. So he turns in his spot, facing you with a raise brow. With a huff, you cross your arms at him.

“I hope you know I’m fine. It’s been two weeks and the nurse said I can return to my normal activities when _ **I feel**_ comfortable to.”

A knowing grin grows on Bucky’s face, his hand reaching out for your body in a way you understand what he’s wants.

“Does that mean …?”

You slap his hand way, but he still manages to find a way to pull you in to him. And he struggled to suppress a chuckle that bubbles in his throat.

“Ew, perv. No, I started my period today. No sex today, or for the next few days.”

He frowns playfully, leaning his head against your shoulder as he lets out a loud groan. “Boo, I’ve missed you underneath me. Wanna feel you, my angel.” Bucky can practically paint the image in his head, it’s a sight to see but then it comes with the pang of guilt of the mistake of getting her pregnant and he wants to bite his tongue from saying anymore.

You smile at this, a little disappointed yourself that ths you won’t be able to enjoy the activity the two of you participated and enjoyed the most before the procedure. But you needed to heal. Need time to process your decision and while you had done that in the past week, you knew deep inside Bucky he hadn’t. So, you simply pat his head, lifting him up and giving him a kiss on his nose.

“Well, too bad. I’m going to take a nap.” You kiss his lips before kissing him again on the check. “Have fun with Becca, Pookie.”

By the time he does leave, you’re fallen asleep with Alpine curled up in your side fast asleep just as you. Bucky smiles, leaning down to kiss your forehead before covering your body with the blanket.

—

Upon hours later, you’re woken up to a particular cat licking your face. His wide blue eyes staring down at you, waiting for your body to respond to his actions. You push him off, wiping your face in disgust.

“Jackass.”

He meows. You roll your eyes before sitting up, the time on the digital clock beside your bed glowing with the time. It’s nearly six. Bucky isn’t home yet, which you expect from a hang out with two siblings.

So instead, you busy yourself in making a small snack before Bucky comes home for dinner. A small nutella sandwich in a plate, you bring it over to his study where you spent most of your time alone; usually on his computer working or window shopping. It’s usually the later.

Which brings you here, typing in the password to Bucky’s computer as to open it. While waiting for the screen to load, you try and clean the clutter of paper work on his desk. Picking paper from here and there as to put them aside.

You don’t even read the fine print, merely catching a glimpse of the names that the documents were addressed to. Some to him and some from Sam and his boss, Tony. But one had caught your attention, it was bold, in large letters and you hummed when you picked it out from the bunch.

 _Meow_.

“I’m not snooping. I just happened to come across it while cleaning daddy’s desk. That’s all.”

 _Meow_.

“Oh, shush.”

Your eyes skin over the boring parts, words that mean nothing to you. Then you see it. It’s a receipt … You look further down, curious what the receipt is for. It’s a flight… to LA.

Your heart practically drops. Then the intrusive and insecure thoughts rush it. Maybe he’s going for work? He would’ve told you. Or maybe he’s going to see her. _**No**_. Don’t think like that, you mentally scold yourself. But why? Why would he buy a flight to LA? And though you didn’t have a problem with him going across the country, you had a problem with him not telling you.

This felt like the beginning of your relationship again. The fight and secrecy that he kept from you. The two of you had agreed. Trust and communication was key and here he was again.

 _Meow_.

“You’re right. Maybe I am jumping to conclusions.” You pause, the paper slightly crumples at your harsh touch and you attempt to smooth the wrinkles. “All I have to do is wait.”

—

Bucky kisses his sister on the cheek as a goodbye. His hand making its way to her head as it ruffle up the perfect curls she had done that afternoon before going to class. He merely laughs at this, sticking his tongue out when she flips them off.

Soon after, she actually ends up leaving and Bucky pulls out his phone.

> **ME** : Hey, I’m heading back. Want anything to takeout for dinner?

> **Y/N** : No, just get home. We need to talk.

He frowns to himself. _Well, that doesn’t sound too good,_ he thinks of what he could’ve done to piss her off. Maybe it’s her period? After all, she does gets moody during the first few days.

Bucky thinks to stop by a bodega, buy her those Toblerone chocolate bars she’s heavily addicted on; even on normal days where she isn’t bleeding. He’ll add on some gatorade, just to help with her energy.

He knows how much pains she has to deal with. The cramps and the headaches, he knows not to bother her and do nothing but give her all the love and support.

So he’ll do just that.

When he comes home, he’s greeted just as usual when he leaves Alpine. The white creature circles around him, answering Bucky with a pur that makes him chuckle.

But he hears a cough, his head snapping up to see you with your arms crossed; paper accompanied in your hands as well. You don’t look too happy, not at all, and Bucky wonders what sort of shit you’ve found now.

“Hi, baby.”

You ignore his pet name. Simply standing up better away from the frame of the archway. Inching towards Bucky, you unravel your crossed arms, pushing the piece of paper in front of his face.

“When were you going to tell me that you’re going back to LA?”

Bucky takes the paper from you, reading the print with careful eyes. He makes a face, a smile and he knows it’s going to piss you off.

“Ah, so you found it.”

You look at him rather confused. Arms crossed again in frustration.

“Found what?”

Bucky’s smile widens as he steps towards you, paper still in his hand; he circles his free hand around your waist to pull you flush against him. He eyes the way you’re pouting at him, clearly annoyed at the way his acting but he’s expected this. Especially if you had found the tickets before he could’ve told you. He knew you probably was going around his study, caught you a few times playing on his computer.

And while he didn’t mind, he made sure to try and hide important documents from his desk. Seems that he forgot to hide this one.

“Your ticket to LA.”

He tries to surpress a grin when your face drops.

“Wait … Huh?”

Now a chuckle falls from Bucky’s mouth as he replays the retorted look on your face.

“We’re going to LA, you dumbass.”

He’s been planning this since two weeks ago. A few days after your appointment at the clinic, he had thought that you and him deserved a much needed vacation. And while other couples would’ve thought to go somewhere more romantic like Europe, he had a reason to why he chosen such place.

Pulling away, you prop yourself on the kitchen counter. Bucky follows along, standing between your legs while he smiles at you.

“Wait, why LA? I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love the beach, but we have one in Manhattan.” Your fingers dance along his neck, running up to his jawline and you give him a coy smile when your fingers find his lips.

“Well, LA has always been a wary topic for us to discuss since, well, you know why. And I thought we deserved a vacation, no work, no Alpine. Just us.” He smiles. “Since LA has memories of our first fight, I want to make new ones of our own there. Oh, and I know the best secluded spots on the beach.”

You giggle when he grins at you, hoping that you got what he was insinuating.

“Thank you. And I’m really sorry for jumping to conclusions. It’s just what you said, LA is basket full of bad memories. I’m glad we’re taking this step to change that.”

Bucky leans forward, attempting to gift you with a kiss which you reciprocate. It’s quick but it’s soft and warm, makes you feel just right.

Then his hands are back to your face, thumb circling against your cheek as he looks at you with a gentle gaze. But his lips curve up in to a known grin.

“And … plus,” he leans in close to your ear. “you could watch the sunset while I fuck you brainless.”

He hears the way you gasp, smiling to himself when his shirt bunches up with your grasp. It’s when he begins to kiss the spot behind your ear, snaking down to that sensitive spot near your pulse that was sure to make you whimper with his touch.

“Bucky…” Your eyes flutters at his lips, wanting nothing more for them to bring you pleasure and comfort. The need is strong. Especially after week of not being able to have it, having your period doesn’t help either. “We can’t. It’s shark week.”

He moves along, hands snaking up into the shirt you were wearing and finding your under boob, he teases the skin there with his thumb. His own lips capturing yours with such need and yet you can’t blame him.

“I don’t care. It’s been too long.”

But you’re pushing at his chest, whimpering when he slides his tongue along your bottom lip. Though, he stops when he feels your action and pulls away abruptly.

Just as he thought he had gone too far and you weren’t ready to be intimate again (not that your period stopped him anyways), you speak up. “Not on the kitchen counter.”

He smiles, widen and proud. So he pulls you off the counter, your legs wrapped around his waist as he brings the both of you into the bedroom.

As he props you down back to the ground, you grin at him; clearly with an idea stuck to your head. Your hand pressed against his chest, you give him a slight push towards the end of the bed.

He makes a look of confusion, wondering where this was going. After all, he was the one suppose to give you pleasure.

But it hits him when you push him to sit on the bed, grinning ear to ear as you straddle his lap with your hand strokes his jean clad thighs back and forth.

You lean closer to him, pressing soft kisses along the line of his jaw before moving to his lips. Both of your eyes flutter close and you feel the way Bucky snakes his hand around your neck, an effort to pull you flush against his body.

As it feels like hours go by, your the one who pulls away with heavy breathing. Smiling when you see how red and swollen your lover’s lips are by just kissing them. So you take a moment to breathe, to calm yourself and take in Bucky’s appearance.

“I love you so much. You have no clue how thankful I am to have you in my life, Pookie. You’ve made me so happy and supported me and I couldn’t ask for a better love.” You feel the way his thumb caresses the tears that fall from you cheek off, a soft frown on his face due to the sight of you crying.

“I mean it, Buck. I want to spend the rest of my life with you like this. Planning vacations. Waking up with you kissing me a good morning. Fighting with you over stupid shit. I want to dance with you in the kitchen while wearing our aprons and Stevie Nicks is playing. God, I want to do all of that with you because I’m so in this for the long run.”

And well, now, both of you are crying. Eyes swelling with tears and all the both of you can do is laugh as his hands try to clean your pretty face. He even tries to kiss them off, only for the two of you to end up in fits of giggles as he does so.

Then he’s cuddling you. Arms wrapped around securely around your body as he were afraid to let you go. A meow enters the room and both heads turn to the door. Alpine stands there, a hiss leaving his mouth as he jumps over to the bed, clearly pissed that he’s not being cuddled as well.

You roll your eyes before making space between you and Bucky so he can jump in. When he does, he purs loudly and pridefully with his back turned away from Bucky.

“What a cockblock.” He mutters.

A giggle echoes the room as you peer down at Alpine. He’s getting comfortable. His blue eyes staring right back at you just the way Bucky does and it makes you smile.

Then Bucky’s gasping. Sitting up from the bed and he waddles his way back into the kitchen to come back with a brown bag in his hand and a bottle of gatorade. All you can do is giggle as he bounces back onto the bed.

“I bought you your favourite and this, for your period. Since you get tired and all.”

You peak into the bag, shrieking when you see the triangle bar of chocolate sitting at the bottom of the bag. You also see some other types of candy, a bag of gummy bears, and Skittles. You practically scatter the candy all over the bed but you’re too excited to eat them to care.

“Hehe, thank you, Pookie!”

Bucky chuckles as you throw yourself onto him, throwing kisses all over his face.

“Okay, okay.” He pulls you off him, sitting you comfortably on his lap while Alpine grooms his fur in the far back of the bed. He smiles at you, removing any stray tendrils of hair that cover your face. “But let’s have dinner first. I’m still pretty hungry.”


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which y/n and bucky spend their day at the beach and when things don’t go their way, bucky shows y/n who’s in charge.

The sun is hot and it’s already beaming on your face as you step out in the open. Even with the beach hat and sunglasses, you feel your body crisps under the heat of the yellow giant. While Bucky on the other hand seems unfazed by the heat.

You seem, almost jealous at the fact that your boyfriend has gotten used to the heat. So, you merely pout at him while making grabby hands so he could hold your hand as he leads you into the private beach.

It has only been a few hours since the two of you had arrived. The flight was early in the midst of the night, so be it arriving quite some time in the morning. But given the flight was merely just across the country, you spent the five hours on the plane watching Disney movies and spending everything there was to offer as a first-class passenger. With Bucky merely laughing at you as you downed the bag of macadamia nuts that costed him nearly 12 dollars.

He really didn’t care, if he’s being honest. If he had to pay 12 dollars to watch you simply chuck a handful of salted nuts into your mouth as you gaped at the TV when Mufasa fell off the cliff, so be it.

That was six hours ago.

After a plentiful nap at the beach house Tony had rented him in Malibu, you had woken him up with an exciting surprise that ended up with him moaning loudly as he came into your mouth.

With a quick shared shower and well… two rounds of a quickie, you had begged him to finally take you to the beach. Jumping up and down, claiming you wanted to experience the west coast sea that you would never get in a beach in Manhattan.

Which leads the two of you here.

Dressed in some shorts and an unbuttoned dad shirt, you let your swimsuit covered top to be hit by the cool air of Malibu. You smiled patiently as Bucky lead the two of you down the pathway, pausing to say that it’s better to remove your slippers to walk on the way. And when you did, you couldn’t help but smile at how warm and refined the sand felt under your toes.

As soon as Bucky found the hut, he rented for the next few hours, you were quick to remove the rest of your clothes only for you to plop down on the chair with your glasses perched up on your nose.

“Looking good, angel.”

You blushed at his comment, hiding your face in the shade while Bucky removed his shirt; revealing those toned muscles and tattooed left arm. With him under the sun, he looks godly. Like an Adonis that you want nothing to prance on.

“Not too bad for yourself, Pookie.”

You smile when he shakes his head, mostly embarrassed and flushed by your comment as well. He was quick to wipe that smile off your face as he leans down to kiss you on the lip; getting a quick taste of the strawberry lip balm you had smacked on before leaving.

He pulls away to kiss your forehead again, ready to leave so he can head in the water. But you stop him. Digging in your bag to pull out a bottle of SPF 80.

“Wait, baby. You gotta put this on or you’re going to burn.” You sit up, then pat the space in front of you. He sits down, willingly. Letting you rub the sunscreen all over his back as you hum a song he’s heard way too many times thanks to you.

As your hands smooth over his back, you move on to his arms. Smiling to yourself as you read the inked skin on his left arm. You see the bold star on his bicep. A word in Russian and spelling _longing_ along with many other images that his skin carries the stories of.

You’ve accounted his painted skin before. Many times, when he used his black inked fingers to finger you and make you cum. Or times where he held your face gently and roughly, your eyes would occasionally falter at the intricate designs he had chosen to carry for his whole life.

While to some, it was intimidating. You found it beautiful. He was like a work of art. A canvas. Painted with reason and meaning behind the colour. To others he’s simply James Barnes. Hotshot lawyer who works for billionaire Tony Stark. The same man who has criminals cowering under his glare when he questions them on stand.

But to you, he’s simply Bucky. The same man you had helplessly fallen for four years ago. The same man who refills your hidden stock of chocolate snacks for when you’re getting cramps and doesn’t even take credit for it. He’s the same man who taken every chance he’s given to be a better man and lover to you.

Bucky Barnes really is a man of wonders, a beautiful work of art made by the gods themselves and you get to thank them every day for creating such a wonderful human being who you get to love for the rest of your life.

“Turn around, baby.”

He turns to face you, eyes peering down as you work your hands over his chest and shoulders and making sure that it’s rubbed in for good measures. He takes in the way you look so concentrated under a new pair of funky glasses you bought before leaving for the trip. He made sure to buy those from Gucci because you said once that they made the best funky glasses but couldn’t afford them.

He could honestly just stay like that with your hands on his skin, smoothing away any worries and doubts he had for himself. He really does love you. Every inch and bit of you and if he were given the opportunity to write how much he did, the book would be endless.

“Okie dokie. You’re done.” You smile up at him, your face falling. “Oh, wait. Your face. I have to do that too or you’ll be red and burning when we get back. Close your eyes.” And he does what he’s told, his hands reaching out for something to touch and finds them placed on your hips. He squeezes softly for reassurance.

As he waits for you to finish, he listens to you talk about the things the two of you could do here that you had searched up on Yelp. He chuckles, saying back that he also has a special spot he knew about when he had some alone time that he wants to you show you. You tell him that you and he have all the time in the world and there’s no need to rush, but he knew you couldn’t help but be excited for said secret spot.

“Okay! Can you do me now?”

He grins, you know that look all too well.

“Shut up. You already got head from me this morning.”

“Doesn’t hurt you try.”

—

Laying down on the chair, you hum along with the song that blasts in your ear; unaware as more people enter the private beach. With most of them middle aged men and women who most likely own those million-dollar beach houses adjacent to the beach house you and Bucky are staying in.

Occasionally, you prop yourself up on your elbows to catch Bucky playing around the water like a little kid. It makes you laugh at how he pretends he’s drowning just to get a grin from you. Just comes to show that to some, their inner child never truly leaves.

But that’s not what catches your attention when you look back out to the ocean. In fact, it’s way off. You watch as Bucky emerges from the water, running a hand over his hair as starts talking to a woman, who seems to be his age.

You push your glasses up to your head, frowning as a pang of jealous hits you. Suddenly, swimming seems nice. So, you push yourself off the chair and remove your hat along with your glasses and headphones.

You try to be inconspicuous as possible when you make your way towards Bucky, but he catches you approaching and just smiles; barely even listening to what the woman was telling him. His focus just on you and your beautiful body.

However, he finds a scowl on your face. He knows that look. You’re jealous. He finds it quite funny, actually.

“Hi.”

You simply greet the woman in front of you. Her daring blue eyes stare right back at you while her blonde hair cascades down her back. She’s beautiful, you’ll give her that. Skinny, with amazing boobs and a body for her age. She makes you feel a little insecure, yeah, but you push that thought aside.

“Hello. You must be his daughter. I’m Camille.”

She gives you a smile, it seems genuine, if you were dumb enough to fall for it. You’re used to having women all over be captured by your boyfriend’s beauty and while you don’t blame them, it eventually gets tiring. Especially when they refer to you as his daughter.

“Actually, I’m Y/n, his girlfriend.” You return a tight-lipped smile, clearly force. But the way her face falls has you biting down on your lip to suppress a chuckle from erupting.

Though, it seems to her that she had simply heard a really funny joke as she comes back to reality with a chuckle. “Really? His girlfriend? Aren’t you a little… young?” She gives you a look, her eyes raking down your body then turning back to Bucky. _Seems like LA is giving this woman the audacity_ , you tell yourself, not surprised with her response. But what comes next really takes you back. “The money must be great with this one, huh?” She grins.

Your face drops and you’re pulled further into the water when Bucky snatches you by the arm, pulling you close to him. His face is stoic. Almost cold and scary as he stares down the woman.

“I don’t know who you think you are. But you have no right asking me on a date when you blatantly insult my girlfriend’s appearance and the status of our relationship right in front of us. I’ve been here in Malibu before and never in my whole stay have I met someone with such audacity.” Camille almost looks frightened, her body rigid as your boyfriend reprimands the stranger in front of you. “Now, if you’ll excuse us. Me and **_my girlfriend_** will be heading off.”

With that he leads the two of you back to the hut, your lips curving into a smile as Bucky holds your hand.

He tells you to pack, despite the fact there was still about 45 minutes for the rented hut but he doesn’t seem to care about that as he dries himself off.

He’s quick and he’s the first one to be dressed. He’s waiting for you to finish and when you do, he’s back to dragging you back to the beach house. All the while, he doesn’t even peep a word.

Upon returning to your shared bedroom, the door slams shut, taking you by surprise with a flinch of your body. You plan to take a shower, already having the dress you bought last week in mind to wear. But Bucky takes over your thoughts as his voice rumbles through the air.

“Take your clothes off and get on the bed.”

When you turn to face him, he’s already shirtless, just standing in mere swim shorts that outline the hardness of his cock. You’re all too familiar with that tone in his voice. If you were younger, you would’ve questioned him and rebelled. But you knew better than to speak back to an angry Bucky. So, you followed his intrusions and stripped naked and sat on the bed.

You watched his with careful as he marched his way over to you, his crotch bearing your face, but you peered up at him. Feeling how his hands grip your chin with force.

“You’re mine. Understand that?”

“Yes, daddy.”

Then he’s slipping his thumb inside your mouth, your eyes catching the black cross tattoo near his thumb and you moan. Tasting the saltiness of his skin thanks to the ocean. Bucky simply smiles at your noise as you let go of his thumb with a pop.

He lined your cheek with a finger, staring you down with eyes that reek nothing but anger and lust. He’s frustrated, that you can tell, and when Bucky is frustrated, things in the bedroom spices up ten times the usual.

“What’s the colour, Peach?”

**_Oh, fuck. You’re so in for it._ **

“Green, daddy.”

Then he’s lifting your chin up with a finger, but you know he wants you to eye his cock. The same one straining against his shorts.

“Take it out. You know what to do.”

He watched you with a careful eye as you fiddle with the string of his shorts. If he were wearing jeans at the moment, you would’ve groaned and huffed out in frustration. Luckily for you, with one tug, his cock springs out, red and leaking with pre-cum. It makes you nearly drool at the sight, eliciting a chuckle from Bucky as he takes a mental polaroid of your face.

“That’s all yours, Peach.” It’s a soft whisper, only meant for you to hear. It brings you down sort of serenity, calmness into what you’re going to do.

You give him the first lick, it’s small but it’s enough to make him swear underneath his breath. It also sends a wave of comfort to your ego to see this buff man melt under your touch. You always did love the way you were able to make him kneel whenever you wanted him to. Even if it did look like he was in the position of power, you had it all.

Then you go further, sucking on just his tip like you would do with a lollipop. He seemed to like it as a louder groan comes out of his mouth and he tugs in the roots of your hair tighter.

“Don’t fucking tease me, Peach.”

“I’m sorry, daddy.”

You attempt to get away with it with a pout and a showcasing your doe eyes. The same ones that has Bucky falling to your tricks all the time.

“Can you fuck me, please? Wanna feel you inside.” You drag out your plea, hand still stroking his cock. “Pleaseee, I’ll be a good girl for you, daddy.”

And as much as Bucky hates saying no to you, he can’t do it now. Not when your whining and begging is only getting him harder. So, he decides, all the while stroking your face and he watches as your eyes flutter close at the contact.

“Only since you asked so perfectly, pretty girl.” He almost melts at the sight of you and your smile. “Lay on the bed.”

As he watches you scoot further up, he eyes the way your bikini bottoms ride up to give him a shot of your ass. He pushes himself back inside, wanting to save the best for later. And so, when he crawls his way over to your waiting body, his finger dances along your expose tummy with a smile on his face.

“You’re such a beautiful little thing, Peach.” He reminds you. “Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

The compliment sends warmth to your cheeks. Bucky has always had a way with his words, even during intimate times where it was rough. He manages to still remind you of your worth and beauty. You knew your worth, he knew it too. He just loved reminding the love of his life what she is to him.

The hand that cups your breast through the lycra of your bikini has you gasping in delight. His thumb rubbing over your nipples and you feel it harden with his touch. While he has his tattooed hand gripping your chin. This sight is really a beauty, Bucky tells himself.

“Take off your bikini. Let daddy see your pussy.”

You get to it within seconds. Then he’s on his knees by the end of the bed, staring right between your parted legs. He takes a moment to himself, appreciate the beauty of you before he downs his meal. And when he does, he listens to the melody that is your mewls of his name. Smiling against your cunt when you cum around him.

He watches you buck your hips around nothing, squirming and whining when you cum and he simply watches from the end of the bed. An obvious smile on his face. “That’s good, my pretty girl.”

As your mewling dies down and heavy breathing loudens, Bucky leaves you for a moment; striding across the room to pull out a piece of foil. Bucky nudges your legs open to settle between them. Hands handling your hips with an iron grip that with no doubt will bruises that locals will gauge their eyes at. He lifts you up, your ass settled on his thighs as he pulls himself free from the confinement of his blue swim shorts. There’s a pause, you assume as he puts on the condom.

You can feel him warm, radiating from his body to yours with a burning passion. Only for you and it wants your heart, knowing that these moments are only reserved for you and no one else.

“You know your safe word, right, Peach?”

“Yes, daddy. It’s sunflower.”

Bucky hums at your response, then kneading the soft squishy part of your thighs in response. You can see him from where you’re laid out. He’s hard in his hands, the tip of him leaning in anticipation and you can’t help but drool at the sight.

Then he’s lifting you up, hand on the lower part of back and you feel him push you up. You give him the help he needs. Wrapping your arms across his neck and then he’s pushes. No warning. Nothing. All you feel is the stretching his cock does to your cunt. Then the moans come. Loud and gutted as you stuff your face in the crook of his neck.

But he doesn’t deem that acceptable and pulls your face away. Hands gripping your cheeks with a grip that nearly turns his fingers white, he smiles at your fucked-out expression. Mouth parted open with your tongue nearly out, tasting the sex in the air. He kisses you, tongue and all while rough thrusts bring you to your orgasm.

You can feel yourself cumming, so does he when your moaning becomes loud and almost pornographic. He can feel his ego inflate at that, grunting loudly as the last of his thrusts stutter to a halt as he spills inside the latex around him.

For a moment, everything stills. You enjoy the feeling of being in Bucky’s arms as you ease from the euphoria. Eventually, your own fatigue gets to you and Bucky notices the way your head lols back.

Careful, he sets you down to the bed. You moan when he pulls himself free, the light sting around your cunt makes you hiss in discomfort which Bucky frowns at.

“Just rest, angel. I love you so much, pretty thing.”

You hum at his words, too tired to actually speak. But you try anyways, with it coming out a little slurred.

“Love you too, Pookie.”

—

He giggles as he places the letters down on the board, the off-white letter tiles spelling out lovebirds. It makes you roll your eyes, not only at the cheesy wordplay but also the fact that he’s winning at Scrabble and you’re going to end up as a sore loser.

“Oh, for fucks sake.”

“Hehe, Y/n’s a loser.”

You click your tongue, falling back into the couch with a frown on your face as Bucky dances on the couch; wiggling his butt as a little happy dance.

“Call Y/n a loser again and you won’t get sex tonight.”

His face falls and the dancing ceases. You have to suppress a laugh at his face, biting down on your tongue when he goes quiet.

“You wouldn’t.”

You shrug at this, nonchalant as you move the pieces you have onto the board with a grin present in your face. You smile when you see the word on the board, it’s longer than his and you got more points.

“Ahah! You’re the loser!” Now you’re the one who’s dancing her ass off. The robe around your body flowing with your movements as you practically shake your ass in front of your boyfriend’s face. You know he’s smiling, he’s quiet and you can sense the way he’s probably looking at you with a grin and with his heart thumping with adoration.

The quiet is soon filled with your squeals as Bucky pulls you down to his lap. His fingers poking your sides in an effort to get you giggling in his arms. And while it worked, the board rattles and the game falls to the ground in pieces.

“Awh man! I was winning.”

He stills your squirming body, soft palms handling your face with ease and gentleness. Silence fills the room when he looks down at you, a smile on his face while his hands sweep the fallen tendrils of hair off your face.

“You having fun, so far?”

Eager, you nod at this.

“Best trip so far.”

He smiles, all wide and teeth. Then he’s leaning down to peck your lips, the taste of your signature honey lip balm smacking against his own and he can taste it.

“Good. I’m glad. Now, c’mon. I wanna take a bath.”


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which you encounter someone from bucky’s past but rest assured, your relationship with bucky is all that matters in the present.

The sun is out today and it’s warm and windy. You smile against Bucky’s lips as he mumbles something about the pictures he had taken of you that morning, resulting with the two of you in a fit of giggles. The PDA was probably annoying if the two of you were back in New York, but you were in LA. A place where no one knows of your name, not will they ever.

When you’re able to compose yourself, you pull away from Bucky’s touch, your hands grabbing at the menu across from you with a snatch. “Mmh, what should I get?” You hummed as your eyes skimmed over the fine print. None really fit your taste until you saw the omelette mixed with the tiny bacon bits, well, now that sounded delicious.

So, as the waitress came by, smiling and all with her note pad, you told her what you wanted with Bucky tagging along after you. She thanked the two of you and headed back in.

Smiling, you look across the table at Bucky. His eyes centred and focused on you with a glint of mischief in his pretty blue eyes. You simply giggled at this, knowing what’s running through his mind; something lustful and inappropriate about **_you_**. As per usual.

“You look pretty today, angel.”

You irked a brow at him. “Are you saying I don’t look pretty every other day?”

He rolled his eyes at that, his arm reaching towards you and with a simple tug, he pulls your chair towards and closer to his side; making you squeal a bit in the process. “You’re pretty every day and night. Even when you’re all laid out on the bed all fucked out.”

You gasped at his words, slapping his playfully on his arm. Resulting a chuckle and a kiss from your lover. “Mmh, whatever. We need to stop by Whole Foods today, we ran out of eggs and milk.” He hums as an answer, too distracted in playing with your hair. He always did like your hair, it’s soft and pretty. Plus, it’s a great handle when he’s fucking you from behind.

“Wait, I gotta take you dress shopping later.”

“Wait, why?”

“My friend Loki invited us out to this club. Can’t have you wearing a sundress, even as much as I love you in it.” He smiles at you, the compliment sending warmth to the apples of your cheek. Your smile turns into a grin, thinking of how long it as been since you’ve been into a club, let alone with Bucky. The last time you had, it was a day before graduation.

“What’s up in that pretty head of yours?” His fingers come up to sweep the tendrils that fall to frame your face, a smile on his own as he gazes at you with such love in his eyes.

You simply shake your head, not much going on in your thoughts but the mere thought of just having the best time with Bucky. “Nothing. Just thinking of you.”

“Well, stop thinking of me. Our food is here. You’ll get dessert later in the day.”

“You’re so full of yourself.” You roll your eyes, resulting a chuckle from him.

—

Malibu is as busy as ever, much like New York but without the bustling and rushing business women and men who practically milk themselves just to get to work. No, these people are chill, in no rush to get anywhere but to those vegan cafes where they’re most likely to get a avocado toast. At least, that’s what you assume they get given with LA name.

But that’s not what’s on your mind. You’re attempting to decide whether the red fabric of this nearly three thousand dollar dress is good enough for one night at a five star restaurant and bar where actual fucking celebrities come to. Or, if the other dress you tried on, that was black in colour but sparkled with shine. It was a beautiful dress, both of them, really. But you just couldn’t choose.

“This one, angel. Makes you look sexy as fuck.”

Your eyes sought for his in the mirror, baby blue eyes glittering with a shine as his lips quirked up in a smirk. He wore what he had this morning when the two of you left for breakfast. That goddamn navy blue shirt that seemed too tight for his own good. It hugged him. Perfectly just because he’s Bucky. And god, does he look good.

Unconsciously, your cheeks warmed at the compliment and you raised a hand to sweep a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Does it? I feel a little out of place wearing something so expensive.”

His cold hands find place in your hips, his body pressed firmly against yours and you have to gulp to suppress the gasp that wants to come out. “It’s on me, princess. Don’t worry about how much it’s costs. You look so gorgeous in it.” He leaned forward, his breathe fanning over your ear as he kissed that spot behind it.

His hand snakes up the skirt of the dress, cold skin touching the warmth of your thigh. It’s all to intoxicating, given the fact that it’s just the two of you in the small space of the changing room. His eyes bores into yours from the mirror. Then a small gasp comes from his mouth, his hand finally resting on your ass.

“Fuck, Peach. No panties?”

You grin at him, leaning backwards to lean your head on his shoulder. A instant hit of his cologne entering your nose. “Mmh, thought it would be a fun surprise.” You shrug it off as if it’s nothing. When in fact, you had been dreading this moment all day. Especially when he had whisper the filfthiest things to you through the day.

Of course, now, he’s stuck to his promise and has you whimpering softly in the palm of his hand as he rubs your bare cunt. “Shut up and take it.” His fingers slip inside, with ease and no tension, he’s knuckles deep in you. “You’re a sexy little thing, Peach. You’re fucking mine.” His mouth is near your ear, hot breath hitting your skin but his eyes never leave yours in the mirror.

You give him nothing but a nod your head, his hand moving away from your mouth to the front of your neck. Tightening with an iron grip as every second passed and every stroke touched you.

“Моя грязная маленькая принцесса. Мне нравится, насколько ты хорош для меня.”

It’s words that you can’t even understand but it pulls a groan from you. It’s hot. It’s Russian and the idea of Bucky reciting those words in another language. There’s a moan that bubbles in your throat, wanting to erupt and let out but you know you can’t. Especially the fact that you’re in a public place… and the loud footsteps of one of the workers approaching the changing room.

“Hi, sorry, but there’s only a limit of one person per room.” You roll your eyes at the pitch of her voice, it’s too high for your liking. You roll through with it anyways.

“Yes, sorry. I was just asking my husband for his opinion.” You hear it after you said it. Your eyes widening at the sentence and Bucky lets go of you. Fingers slipping out and his eyes find yours. “He’ll be out in a second.”

 _ **My husband**_. That’s definitely one hell of a conversation the two of you will have later on.

“Okay! No problem.”

You turn on your heel, an awkward smile on your face as you smooth down your hair and his wrinkled shirt. When you peer up at him, he sports a snarky grin on his face.

“Husband, huh?”

“It just slipped out, I’m sorry.”

He frowns at your apology, seeing there was no offence taken, not that he was offended in the first place. Then he shakes his head, cupping your face to lift it up. He sees the look of apology on your face and sweeps off the tendrils of hair away. “Don’t be sorry, angel. I’d love for you to call me that **one day.** ”

An smile curves on your lips. The thought of spending the rest of your life with this man. This man who you’ve loved ever since you knew what actual love felt like. It amazes you really. To think that someone loves you to the point of committing their whole future with you. You’re not going to lie, the idea scares you a bit. You have no clue what obstacles lies ahead in your relationship and career, so you never know.

But just being with Bucky, just him being beside you for everything. It just brings so much warmth and comfort to you. A feeling you’ve never truly felt until with him.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah. I can’t see myself with anyone else. And I told you, angel. I’m in this for the long run. No more hiding and no more being scared.”

And god, as if you thought you couldn’t love this man anymore than you did.

“Me too.” You give him a toothy grin before pecking his lips. “I love you. But you gotta go, baby.”

—

He whispers another joke into your ear, another one about the husband thing in the Dior store that makes you roll your eyes. He chuckles at the way you send him a glare before waving him off and sending him to the produce aisle to get some vegetables. He sends you a kiss and then he’s off, leaving you alone in the dairy aisle.

You busy yourself with choosing whether or not to buy the vegan brand butter or the normal kind. There’s a lot of options to choose from and you take a minute to actually decide because, well, butter is more than just butter. Bucky would beg to disagree but you would probably tell him to fuck off.

Though, your train of thoughts are cut off when you feel the presence of someone beside you.

On the usual, you’d offer them a smile then walk away and that’s what you did. Only thing was, there was no smile. Only a look of surprise and shock to see who you’re standing beside.

“Get the vegan one. Better for the environment and he likes it better on his toast too.” There’s no face of shock on her face, only a look of amusement as she looks at you. Red lips, red hair, and those goddamn green eyes staring back at you. Taunting with a sly smirk on her lips. “It’s been a while. And I assume you’re not here on a business trip, so you must be with him.”

You step back. Offended. “I am.”

She examines the butter in her hands, lips pouting down as if she really was stuck in thought about stupid butter. How ironic. Then she turns to you, a questioning look on her face like she was confused by your reaction.

“I hope you’re taking care of him. Bucky has always worn his heart out on his sleeve. I’ve already gave him enough heartache, I hope you won’t do the same.” She says it with a hard stern look on her face, those red eyes burning with fire and back then, nineteen year-old you would’ve coward in fear and backed away.

But no. This is Bucky she’s talking about. Your relationship. Not hers and nor will it ever be hers again. So, it makes you wonder where she gets the audacity to speak to you like that.

You’re not going to let her step over you. She may have dated and married Bucky, good for her, but he’s yours now and you’d glady stand up for yourself and your relationship with no cost.

“Excuse me?” You scoff, a scowl forming on your face as you try to take in her words that she so calls advice. “You may have been his wife but that doesn’t give you any more right to speak about him or us. You’re his past, Natasha. You have no room in our relationship and quite frankly, we don’t want room for you. He’s moved on from you and so should you. And if you needed to know, he’s quite content. Now, if you would excuse me, I have to find him before he gets lost again.”

With that, you leave her standing alone in the fair aisle, completely in surprise. You eventually meet up with Bucky after, he’s got a plum in both hands and he’s staring down at them with harsh scowls in his eyes.

“Whatcha doing, pretty boy?” You chuckled at his expression when he sees you walking towards him. He’s quick to put down one of the plums and bag the rest, a toothy grin quirking up on that pretty tanned face of his.

“Nothing. Just finished. Let’s go.”

It earns him a chuckle from you as he snatches your arm and lead you to the checkout lane. If there were anything Bucky was, he were simply just a child in a 42 year old man’s body. He whines like one whenever you’re too busy on the computer to give him any attention. He pouts like one when you tell him no as, again, you’re too busy on the computer to give him attention. Even then, you still love him and his little childish antics.

Which is why you go with whatever shit he’s trying to pull with you now. “Oh my god.” You sigh as he throws a handful of chocolate bars into the basket.

“What? They have a better variety here than in Manhattan. They don’t have cookies n cream back home.” He pouts back at you, showcasing those damn baby blue eyes you obviously can’t say no to.

So, with a defeated sigh, you place the food on the checkout counter. Bucky’s grin quickly turns into a smile and he leans over to press a kiss to your temple. He knows there’s no true anger in your glare, which is why a chuckle falls from his lips when he takes a look at your expression.

“Cheer up, angel. At least, we’ve got a whole supply for when we get back home.”

He nudges your arm with his, attempting to pull a smile from you. He eventually gets it but you seem hesitant and lost in your thoughts. He wonders what’s gotten your mood down and so he asks.

“You alright?”

You nod with a smile, then turning to him to say nonchalantly something he wouldn’t expect. “I saw Natasha.”

His face drops, expectedly so and his demeanour changes from that childish look to the same ones when he’s yelling at some client or colleagues on the phone. You almost feel bad telling him. Ruining that happy mood he was in a moment ago.

But you promised proper communication with Bucky and while Natasha didn’t upset you that much, you knew you had to tell him of what happened. After all, he was her ex.

“Well, what did she say? Or do?”

“Nothing excessively rude. She was a little passive aggressive. Told me to not hurt you given the fact that she already did that. Though, I rightfully told her she didn’t really have a say in our relationship or about you anymore. She seemed to take it well so I just walked away.”

You watch as his face softens, his lips quirking you into a subtle smile that shamelessly fills your ego. There’s a proud look in his eyes, one that’s rightfully reserved for you. “That’s good you said that. It’s been ten years, she has to move on. I know I did.” His smile turns into a grin.

You roll your eyes at him, conscientiously bagging the groceries. “Well, I hope so or I don’t know why I’m in LA with you.”

He reaches for his wallet, quickly paying before sending a quick thank you the cashier. He quickly laughs off your joke then helps you carry the bags back to the car. There are no word spoken as the minutes pass by. That is until when you get into the car and he starts the engine.

Bucky turns to you, his face seeming more relaxed then usual. “I hope you know I’m proud of you and what you did. Natasha can get very possessive on most occasions, one if the reasons why we never worked out. You handled her in a mature way and that’s good for you.”

You shrug it, genuinely trying your best not to get it you because you know what she says doesn’t really matter. “Of course. I know my worth and I know the value of our relationship. I’m not letting my boyfriend’s ex get in the way of that.”

As he leans over to you, his fingers grip your chin to pull you close. Within seconds, his soft lips collide with yours in a sensual kiss that you hadn’t expected. It was passionate. More so than those intimate moments you and him shared. It’s deep as his tongue licks your bottom, surprising you with his boldness given the fact that you’re in a public parking.

A moan slips into his mouth just as his tongue does, dominating you as always. “I love you, pretty girl.” He mumbles it when he hovers agaisnt your mouth, breath hot as day and it draws you in even more.

“I love you so much more.”

His lips leave your mouth, dragging itself down the underside did your jaw then to that part of your neck that deliciously sends warmth between your legs. You try to pull him closer, as if it were anymore possible by the way you were seated in the car.

“Oh, fuck me.”

“Just say yes and I will, princess.”

“Just touch me. I don’t care where.”

He hums against your skin, the feeling makes the deep of your stomach churn with excitement. You always did love the effect he had on you. Whether it be the smallest of things like moving behind you to get to the sink with his hands on your hips, or when he would unconsciously play with your fingers as he drove.

You know the risk of fooling around in such a public place, it’s dangerous and if you’re unlucky enough, embarrassing. Which is why you guide Bucky’s hand further down to the hem of your dress, the fabric pushed and bunches up agaisnt your middle.

“Make it quick. I don’t want to get caught.”

The chuckle that rumbles through him has you anticipating his fingers. Bucky stays true to his words as his fingers rub up against your slit. Drenched with the bright idea of his long thick fingers inside your needy cunt. You’re always wanting more from him, despite the fact that he’s made you cum countless of times this money already.

He doesn’t waste any time the moment he slips aside your underwear and enters deep inside you. A loud gasp resulting from you and Bucky hums in approval, returning the favour. He nips carefully around your neck, kissing and sucking, making sure in his power that when he’s done, your skin is littered with the colour purple.

As he continues his gesture, your nearly pornographic moans are the only thing that can be heard in the car. Mewling and cursing as you near your orgasm. “That’s it, honey. You’re so good.”

The moment you do come is where everything seems to slow down. Your body feels like on fire, your eyes feel heavy, and you feel so warm all over. Bucky’s lips don’t cease as he continues to litter kisses all over your neck, stimulating you further from your orgasm. “Fuck, you’re perfect.”

He chuckles before pulling away, drenched fingers rushing up to your open mouth to lick yourself off. Softly humming at the taste of yourself, he stares at you with complete adoration. Nothing but content between murky blue eyes.

Before you know it, he’s pulled back into his seat like he didn’t just make you cum around his fingers. The ride back home, normal as ever, the radio blasting new hits and you, with no care, singing them with the hood of the convertible down; wind rushing through your hair and you felt so care free. So you.

—

The music blasted loudly through the room, joining guests and locals all over to the floor to dance. You make a mental note to bring yourself there later and bring Bucky if he’s up to it. Right now, you’re focused on the story Loki’s boyfriend is telling the group, their ears listening with close intent.

Though, it’s hard when your boyfriend’s hands are between your legs and softly squeezing your inner thighs. You knew what you were getting into when you decided to sit on his lap.

He continues to rub small circles, inching towards your panty covered core each time, earning himself a scowl from you.

Eventually, you grow tired of your drink and sitting around. You turn to your lover, pressing a soft kiss to the underside of his jaw. You feel the vibrations of his hum, smiling when you whimper excitedly in his ear.

The smell of weed enters your nose, your head peering up to see your lover with a joint between his lips as he inhales the drug. The way his eyes closes in pleasure has your thighs clenching at the sight. It’s even better when exhales a cloud of smoke right into the air, with no care for the world.

He turns to you, eyes heavy with a slight grin on his face. His fingers jutting forward with the joint and you gladly take it. With careful, he watches as you take a long hit, obvious that this hasn’t been your first time smoking. And that idea alone has Bucky hot and bothered.

“Good girl.”

His voice becomes a growl in your ear, hot breath fanning over your skin and it has goosebumps erupting all over your body. You share the joint back between only you and him, the taste of your lip balm present on the joint and he’s moaning in pleasure.

By the time the two of you finish the joint, you end up in a fit of giggles. Your head laid against his shoulder as your body shook with deep chuckles. The eyes of your friends staring at you with amusement, a smile on Loki’s face as he watches your impaired state.

Bucky simply shakes his head, having to basically babysit you while he’s also high is definitely a hard task. But it’s a challenge he’s going to take to keep you safe from those creeps he’s noticed who’s been staring at you.

“Let’s dance, Pookie.” You’re tugging at his hand as you get off from his lap, pouting when he doesn’t budge at your whining. “Please?”

He finally gives in and let’s himself get dragged by you to the dance floor, where crowds of bodies collide with each other in sync with the [song](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fopen.spotify.com%2Ftrack%2F1gihuPhrLraKYrJMAEONyc%3Fsi%3D8U3YGeTvSCGwtksqez5-qA&t=MWZlZDVhNDU5YmMxZTdlMGZkNjRkNTQ3OWQwMWRmNTljZTczOThhOCwzNzFhOTBjMTdlNjQ0NDBjYzU0OTY3NzU2NjY4NDg3YmI4OWVkNGY3&ts=1598913005). He watches you dance, hands flailing around the air with absolute no care for the world. A golden smile on your face, sadly covered by the hairs stuck to your sweaty face.

“Why aren’t you dancing! C’mon!” You start twirling around him, free as a bird, just you being your true self despite being high. Red lights illuminates your figure, sexy, beautiful, and enchanting in all ways Bucky can imagine. It’s truly a sight to be with you, let alone dancing with you. So, he lets himself go. Let his youth take over like it did when he was young and twenty.

You end up in giggles, laughing as Bucky dips you in a dance then pulling you back up to him; bodies presses so comfortably well that it feels like you were made for each other. “Love you.” You give his cheek a peck before returning to dancing with him. Bodies colliding with each other, hands roaming free just as the two of you are.

—

The music is not as loud as it is now. Only muffled sounds of beats and cheering but you only seem to hear your own heart as Bucky’s hand slips underneath your dress, pulling free at your lacey black underwear.

You’re still as stoned from the weed but the way Bucky’s pressing his jean clad thigh against your bare cunt. “Oh, Bucky…” You hear him tsk, sucking harshly on your neck for that matter.

“Not my name, Peach.”

A small whimper falls.

“I’m sorry, daddy.”

He hums in approval, firm hands holding your hips to rut you against his thigh. Your needy moans loud and clear in his ears while you get off. “Please, daddy.”

Bucky’s lips hovers over your ear, softly nibbling on your lobe to get you riled up. It works without no doubt when you’re shaking in pleasure under his touch, body trembling when it tried to find serenity after having such a nerve wracking orgasm from dry humping your boyfriend’s thigh. “We’re not done, pretty girl.”

That, he shows true as you hear the sound of his zipper unzipping, loud and clear in the empty bathroom of the club. You’re glad it’s just the two of you, the embarrassment of someone hearing your needy moans would be too much for the night.

“You know your safe word, right, Peach?” His whisper against your ear is hot and soft, sending chills down your spine along the way.

You don’t want to waste anytime, shaking your head vigorously just to finally get what you. But it’s not enough for Bucky, he wants a verbal answer from you when he grips your chin. Murky blue eyes staring right back into yours. “Peach?”

“Yes, yes. I know my safe word. Please, touch me now, daddy. It hurts. Please.” His shirt bunches up under your grip, it’s firm and needy when you’re tugging on him to pull him closer towards you.

Bucky just chuckles at the sight of you, all high and fucked out for his touch and his dick inside you. You truly could never get enough, like a bitch in heat only he can heal. Thankfully and luckily, he’s all yours. Forever and always.

So, with one forceful thrust, he’s sheathed deep inside of you. Your cunt tight and clenching around him like it were your first time with him. In a way, every time is like your first time given his size.

A loud gutted scream erupts from you, your head hitting the wall with a force when you snap your head back in pleasure. “Ow…” You fight through the throbbing pain in your head, pouting at Bucky to get him to give you a kiss. He gives it to you, a smile on his lips.

But that pain soon turn into pleasure when his thrusts become faster and deeper, harsh strokes that has you being pushed further up against the wall with every move of Bucky’s hip. And with stroke of him inside you, comes with every loud wanton moan being swallowed by his mouth. Tongue lapping up your own while he devours you fully.

When he eventually grows tired of the same position, he lets you down on the floor and pushes you against the sink counter. Your eyes finding him in the mirror and he grins before tugging your hair; harsh and rough, your head snaps back and you feel Bucky’s beard scratch agaisnt the skin on your neck.

“You want daddy’s cock, Peach?”

“Yes, yes. Please, fuck me, daddy.”

You had sounded more needy than usual, perhaps it were the weed or the adrenaline of fucking in a bathroom where anyone could simply walk in, either way, it was true what you had said. You wanted him to fuck you. Ruin you for the night where when he would finish, he would have to help you walk back to your booth. You wanted him to ravish you.

So, when he thrusted into you without care not warning, you were more than welcome to accept it. Mouth gaped open, defeating moans escape from your lips as he pounds into you with no mercy. Fingers tight around your hips and your throat, holding on to you like a handle so he has stability to fuck you.

While the three thousand dollar dress bunched up around your waist and slipping off your shoulder didnt seem to matter anymore as the two of you chased your orgasms from each other.

Bucky’s own hoarse voice switch from moaning to praising you every second, showing you who you simply belonged. You knew, of course, but a little reminder didn’t hurt. Especially, if getting railed in a bathroom of a five star club was the way to show it.

His eyes sought out for yours, finding it under the red light with a dazed look in them. Oh, how this moment will be forever engraved in his head. Your face contorted in pure bliss while his cock assaulted your cunt. He knew. He could tell when you were desperate to cum, desperate to feel him cum deep inside of you.

And while he knew what you wanted and when you wanted it, he loved having you voice your needs. Truly tells you that despite being in the physically position of power, you were the one who held true dominance. “Tell me what you want, Peach. Tell daddy what your sweet pussy needs.”

With a heavy voice, you find the strength to speak. “I want to cum, daddy. Please, let me cum.” He pulls on your throat, pressing you even closer to his own body.

“That’s a good girl.” It’s a growl that echoes into your ear but it’s sounded out by the way his skin slaps loudly against yours, trying to push you towards your orgasm. And when you yell, screaming his name, he knew he did his job correctly as you clench around him in pleasure. “That’s it, Peach. Let go.”

Soon enough, he’s coming next. His movement staggering with every stroke till he’s drained himself drain inside of you. Loud moans vibrating against your skin as he softly nips on the nape of your neck.

“Fuck, honey. You’re so good for me.”

You go still, hands gripping the marble counter just enough to hold yourself up. Thankfully, your lover is stronger than you and pulls out to lift you up on the counter. The bathroom feels hot and heavy, though that’s the least of your concern and more about that soreness between your legs.

He takes a moment to pull himself together, clean himself up before tending to you. His hand between your legs with a piece of paper towel, wet and warm cleaning you up with a careful touch. You hiss loudly at the contact, though, reassuring Bucky that you were totally fine.

“We’re gonna have to buy you the pill tomorrow.”

His voice breaks the silence in the bathroom, your eyes peering down at him with a confused look.

“We don’t have to. I have an IUD in.”

“Still, I don’t want to risk it and put you in that position ever again unless we’ve agreed on it before hand.” He kisses your thigh before standing up and setting between your legs. “I love you too much to ever make that mistake again.”

Smiling, your arms snake around his torso to pull him close to you. Your face squished as you press it agaisnt his chest, the smell of weed and his cologne entering your senses. “Stop blaming yourself for a mistake that needed two people to make. I should’ve been conscientious and took the pill daily. So, stop it. It happened and now it’s in the past.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I’ll stop.” He presses a kiss to your head. His attention caught when his phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls his phone out and sees the messages from his friends. “We should go. Loki is looking for us. Sure you can walk?”

With a pout and a roll of your eyes, you make grabbing hands at him to help you down the counter. And well, well, well. What do you know? Your legs feel like pure jello and you nearly collaps if it weren’t for Bucky helping you back up. “Okay, fine. Carry me.”

And he’s more than glad to help.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which your dad’s best friend is many things, but being one of the greatest loves in your life is one of them.

The sun is bright, and the weather is good, you wake up to loud beeping to your side and your head peeks up at the familiar noise. Groaning, you snuggle yourself deeper into the bed and its wonderfully soft pillows; earning yourself a chuckle from your lover not tom far away from you.

“Pookie, turn it off.” You clawed at the bedside table beside you, attempting to at least throw your phone shut. Though, the only thing that you get is the sound of your glasses falling to the floor with a clatter. “Please? Just a few more minutes?”

He leans over you, peppering your puffed-up face to help you wake up. And while it works, the scratching of his beard tickles your skin. A loud laugh booms through your shared New York home, paired with a welcoming meow at that by none other: Mister Alpine Barnes as he jumps on the bed. Eyes staring at his owners with such curiosity, eventually settling between the lovers as his permanent spot.

“Dude, really?” Bucky groans when his own damn cat gives him the biggest middle finger ever with that look in his eyes. “What a little shit.”

Giggling, you lean over Alpine to give Bucky a morning kiss. He holds on to you a little longer, not wanting you to leave so soon for the day. But that couldn’t be done. You had plans to see your parents this morning before they went on vacation to the Bahamas, you were jealous, if you were being honest. Their vacation only reminded you of the one you took in LA with Bucky nearly three years ago.

They were good times. The two of you made amazing memories to replace the ones that caused conflict in your relationship early on. You knew you and him had more memories to make in other places and in the future, you wondered if they would be as beautiful and enchanting as the ones you and him would make here in New York.

Nevertheless, that’s for the future, you’re focused on the present. You’re focused on your career and luckily, Bucky was there to support you every step of the way. Even when you decided to go back to school to get your masters. He was there every day, every late night where you spent locked up in his study with your head buried in a book, every class he picks you up from only to surprise you with an amazing lunch.

He was there, undoubtedly so. Even as you graduated with a master’s degree to your name. He was there to congratulate you and tell you how proud he was, knowing how hard you worked for this. You were getting there and with Bucky’s help, the journey for sure would be easier with him by your side.

But you had to go get ready; leave him alone in the house for a little while to meet your parents. Bucky was clear he did not want you to leave so soon as you eventually ended up on his lap, lips pressed against each other despite of your morning breath. It was only then when the two of you needed to breathe that you pulled away, a soft dazed look on you that makes you want nothing more to stay in with your lover.

“I gotta go, baby.” He leans his head on your shoulder, whining like a child as he tightens his hold on your body. “Bucky...”

“Fine. Can you at least bring me some of those strawberry strudels from fifth?” His request comes out a mumble, but you know him well enough to know what he said.

“Okay, I will. But you have to let go of me so I can do that.” You say it with a chuckle. And by your request, he lets go of you and lands on the bed with a thud.

When you get off of him, Alpine replaces your spot on his lap, earning his royal majesty a head rub from his dad. Loud purrs emitting from the spoiled brat as he purposely tries to take your spot as Bucky’s favourite. He meows loudly when Bucky hits that one spot behind his ear, making Bucky chuckle at his reaction.

Watching you with a careful eye, you’re wearing nothing but mere panties and his shirt; pieces of bruised skin peeking through the white fabric of the shirt and Bucky just smiles at the way you practically limp to the bathroom. “You alright there, love?”

You yell out a loud yes, ignoring the fact that you nearly tripped on your way there. Minutes pass, you finish out of the shower with your robe around your body with a towel securely around your hair. He quickly joins in after and changes into something more conservative.

By the time the two of you are done, Alpine is already begging for more attention. Circling your leg, enabling you to walk to the spare room to get his food bowl. Fortunately, Bucky gets him into the kitchen, feeding him those cat treats that he only gets when he’s good and well, what do you know? Bucky loves spoiling his own cat just as much as he loves spoiling you. Maybe you do have some competition for your lover’s attention.

However, that has to wait. You march over to Bucky, announcing that you’re leaving, and you’ll see him later. A quick kiss to your lips and you’re off.

On the usual, you were used to taking the subway, it was a better use of transportation to get across the city without the traffic. But since Bucky isn’t using the Mercedes, you opted to drive today.

—

When you arrive in Brooklyn at that one cafe downtown where your parents had agreed to meet, you find them instantly by the patio already eating a meal.

As soon as they caught you making your way towards them, they wasted no time jumping out of their seats to greet you with a hug a kiss. Your father pulls a chair out for you and insists you sit, pushing his plate of omelettes towards you as to offer you some food. You take it, thanking him for actually giving you a large number of leftovers.

“Let me see your hand again, honey!” Your mom reaches over to you, snatching your hand with a squeal as she sees the ring settled on your finger. “Oh my god, I still can’t believe how gorgeous this ring is. He must’ve really spent a lot on it.”

Your dad lets out a huff. “Well, I sure hope he did. I told Barnes that he was only allowed to propose to you with the best ring he could buy.” Your mom scolds him, muttering to herself about letting you and your love life be. “That and if he promised to never hurt my baby or I’ll personally take it to myself to kill him.”

You roll your eyes at your own father, earning you a grin from knowing that he got the reaction he wanted. “I’m just joking, sweetheart. For real though, the talk Bucky and I had was wonderful. I wouldn’t want you to marry anyone else.”

Your mom still gawks at the ring. You can’t blame her though; you were in her position six months ago when you had first worn it on your finger. The ring was truly beautiful, it was diamond and while it the stone wasn’t too big, it was enough that it sparkled so perfectly under the sunlight and caught jealous eyes. Your father was right, this must’ve cost a fortune and you knew Bucky didn’t care because he loved spoiling you anyways.

Though, if you were being honest, he could’ve proposed to you with nothing but a ring pop, preferably strawberry flavour, you still would’ve said yes. You’re marrying this man for his love not his money and anyone with a working eye could see that. And if they couldn’t? Well, they sure haven’t seen what true love looks like. You definitely knew how it felt.

“You two have got everything planned right?” Nodding, you take a bite out of the omelette as you listen to your mom’s questions about the wedding that’s about to happen in two weeks. “We’ll be back before the dinner rehearsal, so don’t worry.”

Before you know it, the family date is nearly done and you’re already saying your goodbyes to each other. Thankfully, you hadn’t forgotten about Bucky’s strawberry strudel. You waved to your parents as they returned back to their car, most likely on their way to the airport seeing as their flight is less than six hours and they liked getting there earlier than they should be. But what can you do? They’re your parents, they have their own thing they do, and they answer to no one but themselves.

As you return back home, you return to your penthouse, yes, sometimes it even takes you a little back that you live in a damn penthouse, you don’t see Bucky anywhere in the living room. Though, at least someone greets you, a meow echoing in the room and you smile down at the feline; bending to pet his cute little head.

“Hey, baby. Where’s dad?” He perks up at the name and leads the way to the gym room. He knows the building has a private one specifically for him but sometimes he prefers working out here instead, where he’s closer to the bathroom and to you when you’re home.

So, there he is, shirtless with a layer of sweat on his toned body as he bench pressed some weights. You eye him down, a little embarrassed that you’re ogling your own fiancé as if it were the first time you had seen him naked.

Which, in fact, brings you to the first time you did see him naked. That very faithful day when you had simply wanted to hang out with Rebecca, who unfortunately had soccer practice, leaving you to your own devices when Bucky offers a plate of pancakes and maple syrup by the table. Now, how could’ve you said no to that?

Not to mention the fact that he practically just came out of the shower, his long hair up in a man bun to get it out of his face; failing along the way as the fee tendrils of hair fell anyways. Nevertheless, it’s not like it made him ugly, in fact, it made him more appealing to you.

That very shameless thought was enough to have you blushing. The image that came after the moment you entered his home was one for porn sites. But, no, you got to experience that. You got to fall in love him along the way. You were the one who said I love you.

Every bit of those moments, you got to experience them with him and those new ones soon to come, you get to experience them. The man who you simply thought was a good fuck, now will be your future husband. That’s all yours. Happy, in love, a career in the making along the way.

And while you were seeming stuck in your daydream, you failed to notice Bucky’s call for you when he noticed you by the door. “Honey? You alright?”

He stepped in front you, finally catching your attention with those prominent baby blues. A look of concern written all over his face. “Y/n?”

“Oh, sorry! Just zoned out for a second there. I got your strawberry strudel!” You smile at him gingerly, handing him the bag of pastries. Your eyes struggle not to look down at his shirtless state, feeling bad that you invaded his personal space in his gym. “I’ll get you to it. Shower and changed, you know.”

Before you can even take a step outside of that room, Bucky reaches for your hand and pulls you back inside. “I didn’t get my kissy.” He puckers his lips up, leaning in for a kiss which you gladly accept. It’s quick and soft but it’s still as meaningful as the longs that linger. “Thank you, honey. Have you eaten anything?”

He follows you out of the room, shirtless and sweaty but he doesn’t give a shit. Some of the blinds are down anyways. The two of you enjoy the rest of the day with brunch, following along with a nice shower that Bucky shamelessly dragged you into; not that you’re complaining after those three amazing orgasms.

But the day was finished in bed as Bucky tended to you, you guys’ favourite show on, binge watching what the two of missed over the last week you guys have been so busy. Your penguin pyjamas on while Bucky wore his Mickey Mouse one when the two you went to Disneyland earlier this year.

It was great. The send-off to the day was amazing and you couldn’t have asked for more as you eventually fell asleep on his lap; his tattooed hand softly petting your head to lull you back to sleep. “Goodnight, honey. Can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you like this.”

—

Standing nervously in the mirror, your fingers fumbled with the fabric of your dress, you attempted not to, seeing as the fabric may fray but you couldn’t help it. The anxiety, that you once claimed was never there, were finally setting in and it was just mere minutes before you had to walk down that damn aisle.

Clearly, your bridesmaids took notice and rushed to your side. Kate and America beside you with a look of worry all over their faces. “Hey, what’s up?”

You turned to them with wide eyes, a face of anxiety written all over your face as you realize that holy fuck, you’re getting married. You’re going to marry a man. You’re marrying James Buchanan Barnes. You’re going to be a wife. Then the doubts set in; what if the marriage doesn’t work out? What if Bucky falls out of love? I mean, it happens, you’ve seen it happen in movies.

You were in and out of your head and Kate turned to her girlfriend with a knowing look; they needed your mom in here. The raven-haired girl motioned to the brunette, silently telling her to get her mother in here because you actually have a full-blown panic attack.

You turn to her in an instant, hand reaching out for hers. “What if he realizes I’m not the one and he’ll find some other girl. It happened with Natasha, who’s to say—”

“Honey, Natasha and Bucky were never meant to work together from the beginning.” You turned to the owner of that familiar voice, your face beaming with a smile as you see your mother standing before you with America behind her with a sheepish smile.

“They never had what you and Bucky have, baby. You and him have trust, communication, and honesty. And it’s okay to have these doubts about getting married, I had them too when I married your dad. It’s normal, it’s who we are when we’re committing to someone. It’d be weird if we didn’t. So, trust me when I say this. You are it for him, love. There’s no one who makes him as happy as you. So, get your ass out there and make him and yourself the happiest people alive. Also, dad is getting anxious so hurry up.”

She kisses your forehead, spinning you around to take one more good look in the mirror. There on her face is the biggest smile you’ve ever seen on your mother. “Beautiful. Now, come on, darling. My babygirl is getting married.”

—

Nothing is as perfect as the moment you’re with him. The lights are low, and the music plays softly while your guests watches in awe at your first dance with your husband. Your head carefully laid on his chest as he holds you by the waist, his grip tight and firm as if seemingly like he never wants to let go of you. Your heart flutters at the gesture; no amount of words can genuinely express how happy you are in this moment.

In this moment, it’s just you and him. Bucky and Y/n. Husband and Wife. Your mom was truly right. You and him are it for each other. No other woman can deny of that fact.

“You enjoying yourself, angel?”

You hum in response, so enchanted by this moment that you don’t want nothing to ruin it. “This is more than perfect, Pookie. I love it.” Peering up, you peck his lips softly. “I love you.”

“See?” He sways the two of you softly along with the beat of the music. His hands moving from your waist to your hips for a sturdier hold as to help you not slip. “I told you, you’d call me your husband **_one day_**.”

Oh, how that grin on his face takes you back years ago; that same very day where you stood in front of a mirror with him behind you. That very word you’re able to officially use now and forever, slipping from your mouth on accident.

You knew, your dad’s best friend, the same man who you can proudly call your husband; James Buchanan Barnes, was many things, but being the love of your life was one of them.

**THE END.**


End file.
